Would it be a deal breaker..

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  • frogz21
    frogz21 Posts: 314
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    ^ What loumaag said.

    I have had enough life experience to know that sometimes life takes turns. We all change over time. If you're expecting the person you partner with/marry to move along your life at the same pace and in the same way else it's game over, you have more to think about before choosing a partner.

    Maybe you're not a marriage or lifetime commitment person. But in my experience, that lifetime commitment can include things like caring for a spouse who is severely injured and can't move, walk, bathe etc. What if your partner ends up with a physical impairment or disability... is that a dealbreaker? Do you love them enough to care for them and support them no matter whether they share your exercise habits or not? What if they get cancer and go years in treatment. Will you stay the course?

    Being in a relationship with someone - truly being a partner/spouse to someone - means being a good partner for them; it's not just about having them be good for you.

    I would always be there for my SO no matter what happens. I support him in everything he does even if I don't always agree. He does the same for me.
  • AquaFitQueen
    AquaFitQueen Posts: 218 Member
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    No. We are different people with different ideals and goals. He can be him and I will be me.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    Would it be a deal breaker for you if your SO didn't live a healthy lifestyle? Such as eating healthy & exercise..
    Wasn't there a point when you were in the same spot he is? He stuck around, ppl change all the time, often by example.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
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    My hubby doesn't exactly live a healthy lifestyle. He eats chips and the like, but he eats what I cook for supper & it's healthy. It doesn't really bother me at all. He supports what I'm doing, buys me tons of fitness related stuff. But then again, he's not obese or anything. He's got a muscular build & used to wrestle. He's really strong. He's just not as active in it as I am nor does he eat as well as I do. Mayb it would b different if he were a complete slob & slouch.
  • Pelly57
    Pelly57 Posts: 169 Member
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    No.

    I can only live my life, not hers.

    I loved her when she was thin, I loved her when she was not. I loved her when she smoked and I loved her when she quit. I guess if you have questions like this, you have bigger problems than your or your SO's lifestyle. Maybe it would better if you just moved on and looked for someone else.

    So well said. Mine loved me fat, he loved me thin, he loves me fat again. He loves me, not the body I am in. He does not sabotage me. There is respect for what I am trying to do. What more can I ask of him? I can only give the same respect back, I will love him fat, I will love him thin, or anything in between. I will not sabotage his efforts to be healthy. If he chooses not to follow me, that is his choice, I will still love him. 35 years and counting...
  • frogz21
    frogz21 Posts: 314
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    Would it be a deal breaker for you if your SO didn't live a healthy lifestyle? Such as eating healthy & exercise..
    Wasn't there a point when you were in the same spot he is? He stuck around, ppl change all the time, often by example.

    Yes we both lived the same lifestyle not caring about what we ate and exercise was definitely not something we thought about. We were teens at the time and thought we would be skinny forever since we ate whatever we wanted with no weight gain. After I got pregnant at 19 I gained over 60 lbs with my pregnancy and after having my son most of that baby weight would not budge so I told myself I need to live better. I am now 21 and have made living healthy a lifestyle. My SO is beginning to follow in my footsteps now that he's getting a beer belly.
  • jensauce
    jensauce Posts: 150 Member
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    a pecetarian is someone who is basically vegetarian but also eats seafood
  • frogz21
    frogz21 Posts: 314
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    No.

    I can only live my life, not hers.

    I loved her when she was thin, I loved her when she was not. I loved her when she smoked and I loved her when she quit. I guess if you have questions like this, you have bigger problems than your or your SO's lifestyle. Maybe it would better if you just moved on and looked for someone else.

    So well said. Mine loved me fat, he loved me thin, he loves me fat again. He loves me, not the body I am in. He does not sabotage me. There is respect for what I am trying to do. What more can I ask of him? I can only give the same respect back, I will love him fat, I will love him thin, or anything in between. I will not sabotage his efforts to be healthy. If he chooses not to follow me, that is his choice, I will still love him. 35 years and counting...

    It's nice to have someone who loves you no matter what size you are. Having my son and my body changing was hard for me, but my SO said he still finds me beautiful and said a few extra pounds doesn't bug him.
  • frogz21
    frogz21 Posts: 314
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    a pecetarian is someone who is basically vegetarian but also eats seafood

    Oh okay.
  • CATindeeHAT
    CATindeeHAT Posts: 332 Member
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    Yup. Health and fitness are a big part of my life and if we don't have that in common chances are we don't have much of anything in common.
  • GreyEyes21
    GreyEyes21 Posts: 241 Member
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    well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.

    Well what about if you decide to live healthy and you have been with your SO other for several years or so??

    agree ^

    also what if you were living a healthy lifestyle togehter and then your SO suddenly stop due to traumatic event. didnt see that one coming.
  • spersephone
    spersephone Posts: 147 Member
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    My husband and I have swapped over time. When we first met, I was the lazy lump and he went to karate training once or twice a week. He was a black belt in karate.

    Three years ago, I took control of my health and started exercising. I fit in an hour of exercise four or five times a week, and am much fitter and healthier than I used to be. He goes to Aikido now, once a week, and complains about how sore he is most days he goes. He does very little else and makes a lot of poor quality food choices. He could stand to lose quite a bit weight and increase his fitness but he's not at all interested in cardio or anything "boring".

    If I was to meet him now with my current frame of mind, it may change things for me. But I married him and I keep hoping that he'll take on board the great outcomes I've had from changing my own lifestyle. I cook healthy foods for him, but he often buys his own lunch, and whenever we go out to a shopping centre and are there around lunchtime, he cannot help himself but buy something like chips.

    It's frustrating, but I do understand that there is more to our relationship than this - it's not a good enough reason to throw it all away.
  • crazy_ninja
    crazy_ninja Posts: 387 Member
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    well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.

    Well what about if you decide to live healthy and you have been with your SO other for several years or so??

    Thats what I ask myselfe every fuxxin day :frown:
  • becs_91
    becs_91 Posts: 180 Member
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    Nope. I've discovered through my weight loss journey that we are great at supporting each other in that regard (he's working on his eating habits and exercise too, even from 1,500 miles away! although he's always been in great shape, not the healthiest eater though) but it would not be a deal breaker at all if we weren't on the same page in that regard. Obviously we want each other to be as healthy as possible, but I don't think we'd ever think any less or more of each other either way.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
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    Depends how much if affects her looks. Most woman aren't fine wine. They don't get better with age. There needs to be some sexual attraction till AT LEAST 50. As long as she lets me make her food, and isn't a couch potato then I think I can manage.
  • spersephone
    spersephone Posts: 147 Member
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    Since I took control of my life, I've certainly gotten better with age - I think everyone has the potential to get better with age if they truly want to.
  • CuteAndCurvy83
    CuteAndCurvy83 Posts: 570 Member
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    My wedding vows included in sickness & in health, just because I am choosing to get healthy doesn't mean I am going to toss him aside if he doesn't choose it too. I can only hope my success inspires him to want to join me.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    It would not be a deal breaker.

    But, I love my husband very much and I enjoy him, so if he started to live in a way that was harmful to his health and longevity I would probably be worried.
  • grizzlymaze
    grizzlymaze Posts: 185 Member
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    Would it be a deal breaker for you if your SO didn't live a healthy lifestyle? Such as eating healthy & exercise..

    It would make the relationship difficult--after all, if I'm trying to eat better and exercise more and he does not want to do either, it's looking at temptation every time I'm with him. Better to have shared goals.

    I totally agree with this. Its one thing to enter a relationship with different living styles, but to change your style during a relationship sure would make it much more difficult to achieve the results that your after.
  • LinaBo
    LinaBo Posts: 342 Member
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    I don't have an SO right now. If I did, I'd take the "in sickness and in health" route... to a point. My SO would have to be willing to seek help for their problem, and I would definitely have to move out until they did. I am a binge/compulsive eater in recovery, so I just don't see me coexisting with a partner who can't share similar habits. For me, it would be like being a recovering alcoholic or drug addict with a partner who still drinks or does drugs. It would be extremely trying, if not impossible, for me to resist falling into old behaviours. This is why I am waiting until I have gotten much more fit before I look for a relationship; I don't expect the kind of person that I'm trying to be to be attracted to the kind of person I am, now. It's just not realistic.

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