Top 5 things you say/type at work

1. No, we've already done that, the documents are here.
2. [name redacted] hasn't turned in his reports yet, I don't have final numbers.
3. I'm sorry, there seems to be an error in your invoice. I'm only coming up with (X) amount. Can you verify the quantity difference?
4. Yes, I'll submit it as soon as you send corrected documents.
5. Omy #@$%ing G$%!! Seriously? It's 3:45 on Friday he isn't even going to look at the report before Tuesday.

Thing most commonly said to me: Can you have that to me by the end of day today or first thing tomorrow? Which when I finally crack, you'll find me wandering around muttering, "It's the SAME thing, either way it has to be done before I leave."

1. Did so-and-so have a BM (bowel movement)?
2. No, the supervisor didn't tell me so-and-so was in the hospital.
3. Are you scheduled to work? Because I'm on the schedule...? Okay I'll go home.
4. Stop staring at me.
5. OMG, it went everywhere.

your job sounds very exciting..hehe

1. No, in Chinese. (in response to a student asking if something needs to be done in Spanish).
2. Saquen los paquetes y abranlos a la página....
3. Silencio, por favor. Escuchen. ¡Cállense!
4. {Insert name here}, you still haven't handed in your {insert assignment here}
5. They want us to incorporate technology but then none of it works.

1. Call the producer, this deadline is ridiculous
2. Did you read the email I sent you? (or just open the attachment)
3. Let's take another look at this layout
4. This font is enormous
5. Typing it in Helvetica does not make it a brand.

1. Hydrocodone 5/500
2. T1T PO QD
3. No, we can't accept a fax for that, we need the actual hard copy
4. Can I put you on hold for the billing dept? (We don't have a billing dept, I just usually don't want to answer the question.)
5. No, we really can't take a fax. No, I don't know why they told you we could. They are not the pharmacy, we are.
6. F'ing computer/QS1/nurses!

1. Just a moment please
2. No, I haven't read your email yet cause it came through 1.5 seconds before you walked up to my desk
3. You're an adult-put your dishes in the dishwasher
4. It's 4:45-you seriously need that 1,000 page report you're coming to me with to be ready for FedEx at 5pm?
5. Close the door-can't you read the sign?

1. "Your PDF proof is attached. Please review carefully and respond back with print approval or with any necessary revisions."

2. "The PDF you sent me is low-res and will look like *kitten* if we take it to press. Can you get your customer to send me either a high-res PDF or the native files?"

3. "You're either going to have to get me a better logo or they're going to have to pay for me to recreate it."

4. "What are you looking for? Don't touch my job jackets unless you want a broken arm. Tell me what you need and I'll get it for you."

5. "The job jacket isn't marked. Am I laying this out for the Heidelberg or the Shino?"

1. this is Erica
2. can you repeat your name please?
3. I'm sorry your name again?
4 can you please spell your last name?
5. you don't get paid until tomorrow..if the check is not in your account then, please call me back.
(they never call back)

1. What user name are you using?
2. Click on the IE icon. The internet. Bottom left corner. Left. Click. No, left click.
3. Ctrl A, Ctrl C, Ctrl V.
4. I don't know why you can't access your email at home.
5. Did you save it to your flashdrive?

1. Is your caps lock off?
2. No we cannot refill your prescription for hydrocodone, percocet etc, it was just filled yesterday, if it was "stolen" you will have to file a police report.
3. Are you using Internet Explorer?
4. No, medicaid does not cover mattresses (for regular beds) or electric blankets or rides to work or food or cosmetic surgery or whatever other ridiculous thing you can think of to ask lol
5. The claim was denied because....