husband hasn't noticed.

KwilsonStPeteFL
KwilsonStPeteFL Posts: 27 Member
in Motivation and Support
hello fellow MFPs.

I need to rant for a minute. I've been working out the last few months, lost a total of 25 pounds and my husband has said NOTHING. my coworkers comment, but zilch from the man. he's an extraordinary person, a great father, but really... can't he just say something nice and encouraging?

I can't remember the last time he told me I was pretty or that I looked nice (we are talking YEARS). My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything. grrrrrrr

thank you for listening to my rant.
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Replies

  • stephanie1133
    stephanie1133 Posts: 211
    I suggest telling him how you feel. Maybe he has noticed but he's afraid if he comments that you will take it the wrong way. Or maybe since he sees you every day it's kind of gone over his head. Or maybe he's a total doucher, I don't know!

    Better to talk about it with him than to stew!
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    hello fellow MFPs.

    I need to rant for a minute. I've been working out the last few months, lost a total of 25 pounds and my husband has said NOTHING. my coworkers comment, but zilch from the man. he's an extraordinary person, a great father, but really... can't he just say something nice and encouraging?

    I can't remember the last time he told me I was pretty or that I looked nice (we are talking YEARS). My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything. grrrrrrr

    thank you for listening to my rant.

    2 Things:

    I don't know the weight of your husband, but if he overweight himself, acknowledging your success would also acknowledge his failure.

    He sees you everyday, sometimes it is so subtle that it is hard to tell.
  • DenyseMarieL
    DenyseMarieL Posts: 673 Member
    My husband never notices ANYTHING.......then all of sudden I lost a couple pounds and he's on it like white on rice. We'll see what happens when I get my hair done next week.......
  • kzcortes
    kzcortes Posts: 208 Member
    I honestly don't notice when my girl picks up or drops a few pounds. 25lb is a lot to over look though...
  • skrakalaka
    skrakalaka Posts: 338 Member
    If he's like my husband then maybe he's scared to comment on your weight. Some guys think that a woman's age and weight are off limits, often because they mistakenly offended someone.
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    If he's like my husband then maybe he's scared to comment on your weight. Some guys think that a woman's age and weight are off limits, often because they mistakenly offended someone.

    This is also true, sometimes when a man would say something like

    "Wow you have really slimmed down!"

    Emotional women translate that as:

    "OMG you were so fat before"

    When that is not what we said at all.
  • skrakalaka
    skrakalaka Posts: 338 Member
    Exactly. I have been guilty of this myself.
  • wendirhodes
    wendirhodes Posts: 24 Member
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:
  • Alice_H
    Alice_H Posts: 58 Member
    what zachatta said. Smart men never ever ever say anything about noticing a weight loss.

    You can't do this for him, you have to do this for yourself. Now go get some nice clothes that fit! If you've lost enough weight that your clothes are hanging on you, you deserve it.
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
    I have a fitness nut who pays more attention to my weight/ size/ clothes fit than I do!!! It's equally annoying!!
  • lizblizz2012
    lizblizz2012 Posts: 196 Member
    He's probably just gotten so comfortable with you that he doesn't think he needs to compliment you anymore. Guys are like that.... they sometimes can get lazy in that regard. Tell him how you feel. Like someone else said, he may be ashamed that he's not been making the same good changes as you. Or he may be afraid you'll get mad and say something like "Oh so you're saying I was fat before?" Not that you would, but most guys know weight is touchy with women. Bottom line, you're married to him! Communicate this to him!

    My husband on the other hand, tells me I'm looking better even though I haven't lost enough weight to be noticeable, he just does it to make me feel good. I told him I don't wanna hear it until it's actually true!
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    Lol. Could be his insecurities. Buy a hot new dress that shows your new figure and go out for dinner with him. His face will, tell you all you need to know! My partner rarely says anything either. Few odd comments when he does mean a lot, but a bit more regular interaction on how well I'm doing would certainly be appreciated! X
  • rebeccap13
    rebeccap13 Posts: 754 Member
    My mom was really discouraged when people she saw everyday didn't notice her weightloss. They probably won't until its a really large loss but the people you see only once a month, even once a week, they will notice. Remember who you're doing this for too. This is for a healthier you :) Keep pushing through and look for encouragement on here. Sometimes people that aren't trying to lose weight just don't "get it".

    Great job on your loss by the way! That is something to be very proud of.
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    I've recently passed the 30 pounds down mile stone, I was so excited as soon as I saw my S.O. that day I told him with a huge grin on my face. I looked me up and down and in a totally serious said, "From where?"

    -facepalm-
  • shlobiwan
    shlobiwan Posts: 110 Member
    My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything.

    Sometimes it takes a new outfit showing off the progress to turn some heads.
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    Tell him how you feel.

    And that's what makes things work. Nothing else needs to be said. Let him know. Men can't read minds. Not the minds of women for sure.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,628 Member
    Mine didn't notice until I'd lost about 25 lbs & could drop my jeans down to the floor in front of him without unbuttoning them :drinker:
  • spangey13
    spangey13 Posts: 294
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    Good thinking - I was with my fella 6 years when I went to the doc for a check up and realised that I'd put on a kilo ish for every year we'd been together - so not a lot, but then I noticed. So I did my best to shed that and keep it off... a couple of kgs to go... but I'm getting there.

    He called me a "lean mean fighting machine" once. I decided to take that as a compliment. He has NEVER asked what I weigh. He knows I'd probably whack him with the scales.

    So to the original poster - I totally understand your rant - you want your husband to be supportive - but also he probably does not want to upset you or anything either!
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
    buy some sexy lingerie do a strut in front him - see if he notices then .... :smile:
  • babytis
    babytis Posts: 330 Member
    I agree with Alice, I was going to make that same point. Go get yourself a new outfit that fits and doesn't hang on your body. Get something that shows off your new sexy curves. You do deserve it!
  • Katbody10
    Katbody10 Posts: 369 Member
    If he's like my husband then maybe he's scared to comment on your weight. Some guys think that a woman's age and weight are off limits, often because they mistakenly offended someone.

    Definitely this! And I also agree with SAY SOMETHING to him! You don't have to berate him, but let him know that you've been working so hard to lose weight -- that you sure could use HIS encouragement .. he's the one that matters to you! :love:

    He might be worried you're losing weight for another man too.. sometimes men have their insecurities as well! He may be waiting for the shoe to drop (bad news).
  • Hellguy76137
    Hellguy76137 Posts: 53 Member
    2 Things:

    I don't know the weight of your husband, but if he overweight himself, acknowledging your success would also acknowledge his failure.

    He sees you everyday, sometimes it is so subtle that it is hard to tell.
    Exactly!! What he said.
  • katy84o
    katy84o Posts: 744 Member
    If all of your clothes are hanging off your body then maybe he sees the difference but can't really see how great you look. Buy a nice fitting outfit and rock it! If he still says nothing, then say something to him..
  • itsjustdawn
    itsjustdawn Posts: 1,073 Member
    He sees you everyday... that makes it hard to notice a difference...
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    A friend of my husbands wife has recently dropped around 50 pounds. He was here a few months ago and commented on my weight loss. He mentioned his wives and said he didn't notice as much as he noticed mine because he sees her everyday. I think it's kind of like the grandparents who only come around every so often and always comment how big the kids have gotten but you don't notice it like they do because you see your kids everyday.
  • CricketWhiskers
    CricketWhiskers Posts: 64 Member
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    Never thought of it that way, what a great perspective!
  • xoTammyox
    xoTammyox Posts: 74 Member
    That stinks. My husband who by the way is huge, 6'4 and 328 lbs, notices everything on me. Makes me feel good about myself. Kinda of drives me nuts because he can't keep his hands off me! Really starting to get annoying.
  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
    Buy a new outfit get your hair tan make up done and go on a night out with the girls looking all sexy an he will soon notice x
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
    My husband will comment when I really havent lost anything....so I dont believe him...
    Then when I'm feeling like I've dropped a few lbs...He says nothing!

    But I do think it has something to do with seeing us all the time....
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
    I hear ya! I'm in the same situation with my bf. I started working out and eating healthy in May and have lost 26 lbs so far. Not a word. Then today he said something about me working out for a month....that would be 5 months, my love. Luckily he is a great guy so I can live with it and besides, I'm doing it for me and not him anyway.

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