Adultery Diet
Replies
-
btw- my husband is a straight *kitten*.
Agreed, 100%. Karma will bite him in the *kitten* one day- and his new woman needs to know that if he'll do it WITH her, there's nothing keeping him from doing it TO her. Relationships that start with infidelity rarely work for the long term- you may not be feeling happy right now, but take some solace in the FACT that he will one day end up absolutely MISERABLE.0 -
i need to stop.
i emailed him asking him if he was sure he wanted to go down this road. with having to divide everything up - our life - giving our financials to someone to divvy up. proving who paid what for our house... it is all so scary.
how could he want this. i am a hot mess today. i go from angry. to wanting him, to sad . to anxious. - i havent put these emotions out there, i jsut feel them.
he accused me of being irrational lately - but i am the one doing yoga, meditating, praying, i have taken so many epsom salt baths i should be cured like a freaking ham by now, burning sage, lemon balm, reading, - yet - i am the irrational one.
why cant i just skip this phase... how could he do this? and then go and do it again??????????????????????????????????0 -
What you are experiencing is all a natural part of the process. It's no fun, but it's natural. I think you said you were seeing a counselor? If so, try to see them more often, twice a week maybe? I called my best friend every day, probably 3 to 4 times a day for weeks. She was my saving grace. Posting here is good for you too, I think.0
-
When you wake up at 4:10 get up. Don't lie there in bed obsessing. I'm going through a breakup now, and I did that at first too. (Happened mid December) Now I just get up. Do productive stuff, even if it is just journalling your anger. You will never be able to figure out every detail, and the crazy circular thoughts that happen when you try to figure him out - just get up. Trust me, once I stopped thinking about him in the dark in bed and got up and started being productive - - I was able to shut off the thoughts and get stuff done!.
I agree that you need to make the decision to not talk to him anymore. It is over. He is a loser and you don't want to go down that path. My therapist, when I was divorcing years ago, asked me "Why don't you just cut your losses?" It pi$$ed me off at the time, but he was right.
So, your ex was outted. WAAAAAHHHHH. He shouldn't have had anything to be "outted" over. He is going to continue to make you feel bad by his manipulation. Let the lawyers hash it out. I know how tempting it is to contact him. Believe me, I know. I had to set goals:
I won't contact him TODAY.
I won't contact him for ONE WEEK.
In that one week, I had time to do a lot of thinking about what a loser he was. What did he have that I wanted? There are some things you will always love about him. But it is broken. Love the good memories, but let him go. YOUR decision.
un-friend him.0 -
I think the letting go is beginning.
I sent him an email last night telling him i cannot be hurt anymore.
I need to move on with my life.
To please just put the divorce on the back burner, not because I am in denial, but I need to stand up and brush off first.
I will not contact him today.
I am leaving for mexico next week for 4 days. I will not contact him for one week.
Then I will be in Mexico... i must break the cycle.
I should unfriend him.0 -
I should unfriend him.
Yes, you definitely should. It is torture to yourself not to. Even though you crave that contact, it is soooo unhealthy for you right now.
I pray your cruise is a great time and a time of beginning to heal for you.0 -
i am not quite that ready yet.
i will be though.0 -
i am not quite that ready yet.
i will be though.
Yes, you will!! You are a strong woman.0 -
maybe i need a tiny new tattoo.
one on my right foot.
shrink down the paw print of my lab that passed away -
just a tiny little one.
to remind me to just be. my new start. MINE.0 -
great idea.
Start doing things for YOU!
Have a fantastic time on your cruise! You deserve it.0 -
While in Mexico, you will find it easier not to contact him for the week.
If I were you, I'd spend as much time outside of that house as possible (after Mexico, before Mexico). That house makes you miss him, because he was a part of it. Hell, SELL THE HOUSE. You can find another one you love. There are too many memories attached. Get out to friends' houses, out to the gym, out to the movies.... outside of the house, outside of what WAS your routine. You are still in your normal routine, but it feels empty because he isn' there. His position is open, so there is a hole. It's not really HIM you miss.... it's that position. (Tell yourself this, no matter how much truth there is to it.... it will become the truth if it isn't now!). Change your routine and you will see that occasionally you don't even think about him.... then suddenly a whole day will pass without you thinking of him....
Mexico will be awesome!!0 -
you are right... the house is a tough one.... i dont want to give it up - but it was our dream.
It is on the water, so it is hard for me to walk away from.
I cant make any decisions right now i guess.
I am going out tonight.
I have plans during the day tomorrow.
I am going out tomorrow night.
Superbowl plans on sunday... then 4 short days til mexico....
How was it that stella got her groove back???????????????/
somewhere south of the boarder i think.0 -
you are right... the house is a tough one.... i dont want to give it up - but it was our dream.
It is on the water, so it is hard for me to walk away from.
I cant make any decisions right now i guess.
I am going out tonight.
I have plans during the day tomorrow.
I am going out tomorrow night.
Superbowl plans on sunday... then 4 short days til mexico....
How was it that stella got her groove back???????????????/
somewhere south of the boarder i think.
And you don't have to make any decisions right now!!! You have all the time in the world to think about what you want, flip flop back and forth between your choices, and finally decide what is right for you, in your own time. The best decisions for you right now are probably those that you give yourself ample time to decide on. :flowerforyou:
Glad you are going out tonight and tomorrow. It's good to force yourself to get out. It will improve your mood and keep you functioning.
No idea how how Stella got her groove back but I'm sure South of the Border is a great place to try!0 -
Sabes,
Your story hits very close to home with me, and I have been where you are and felt all of the emotions you are feeling. I don't know you, but I wish I could give you a hug. All I can tell you is that you WILL be ok and you will be a better woman for all you are going through.
I had only been married 8 months to my high school sweetheart and was 6 months pregnant with our second baby when I found out that my ex husband was having an affair. I was 21, she was 19.I had recently been laid off from my job which meant I had no money of my own and I had no idea what to do. I stayed with him because of our children but he wanted nothing to do with the baby on the way, refused to go to ultrasounds and Dr appointments and sat on the other side of the room watching football while I delivered her. I was so unhappy, I couldnt trust him and he made no effort to put things back together. One day I decided I was better than this...I DESERVED a happy life. So, I kicked himout . I had no money, no car,no job and 2 kids. It was the scariest thing I ever did, but also the best. I got a job 1 month later, went back to college and got a degree while still working full time, got an even better job where I have been promoted twice and lost 80 pounds. I also met a good man about 4.5 years ago who treats me like a queen and loves my kids.
Do you know how my ex husband ended up?He's been living in his parents' basement since the day I kicked him out almost 8 years ago. He has been unemployed most of that time, has gained 70 pounds and is still ALONE.
If I didnt believe in Karma, I do now. When I was in the stage you are in, I did not think I could survive. I couldnt breathe, or eat or stop crying. I thought my life was over. It was just beginning.0 -
When I was in the stage you are in, I did not think I could survive. I couldnt breathe, or eat or stop crying. I thought my life was over. It was just beginning.
Thank you for saying that.... i like that it is just beginning.
I am 35 and my future is a big fat unknown.
Its amazing and unfortunate at times that this feeling doesnt actually kill you. But it doesnt - and I have no choice to push on.
This board has been extremely helpful.
It is my beginning...0 -
How Stella got her groove back........
works for me.
0 -
How Stella got her groove back........
works for me.
hahahaha :laugh: how 'bout it, Sabes?
0 -
How Stella got her groove back........
works for me.
does anyone have a drooling smiley???0 -
i see my groove...
its def somewhere in mexico.
lol - ill find it - no doubt and how gooooood it will be.0 -
How are you doing? Are you already in Mexico, soaking up the sun?0
-
Not yet....
Having a bad day.
This girl sent me two messages on facebook at 5am on Sunday morning, but must have changed her mind cuz they came in blank. I told my ex to tell her to leave me alone - i am not playing games with her. She told him that she had a notification that I had tagged a pic or something of her and that she was just looking for that. Which is total BS - she is playing games with him. I have no patience. This is MY life. My well being. My marriage. My husband. My home. And she is playing High School bull$hit games?
Um no - if he doesnt tell her to knock it off, I will. I am done. I am struggling to keep my head above water, I certainly do not need her harrassing me on top of it.0 -
Not yet....
Having a bad day.
This girl sent me two messages on facebook at 5am on Sunday morning, but must have changed her mind cuz they came in blank. I told my ex to tell her to leave me alone - i am not playing games with her. She told him that she had a notification that I had tagged a pic or something of her and that she was just looking for that. Which is total BS - she is playing games with him. I have no patience. This is MY life. My well being. My marriage. My husband. My home. And she is playing High School bull$hit games?
Um no - if he doesnt tell her to knock it off, I will. I am done. I am struggling to keep my head above water, I certainly do not need her harrassing me on top of it.
What a pathetic woman. I am amazed that she would even have to nerve to try and contact you, it just goes to show you what a home wrecking hussy she is.
If you haven't already you need to de-friend your husband so that she has no way to inch into your life.
Not to long now before you can go to Mexico and be far away form these losers. Stay strong.0 -
Not only de-friend them, but block them too! Both of them! you will be invisible to them. Also, go through your privacy settings and make sure that only your friends can see your information. If they try to get to you using another account, they won't be able to see much more than your profile pic and a few basic things. Its such a small task to do but it gives you such a feeling of empowerment and control. Its time to take back your life!0
-
Not only de-friend them, but block them too! Both of them! you will be invisible to them. Also, go through your privacy settings and make sure that only your friends can see your information. If they try to get to you using another account, they won't be able to see much more than your profile pic and a few basic things. Its such a small task to do but it gives you such a feeling of empowerment and control. Its time to take back your life!
AGREED.0 -
Sabes,
Your story hits very close to home with me, and I have been where you are and felt all of the emotions you are feeling. I don't know you, but I wish I could give you a hug. All I can tell you is that you WILL be ok and you will be a better woman for all you are going through.
I had only been married 8 months to my high school sweetheart and was 6 months pregnant with our second baby when I found out that my ex husband was having an affair. I was 21, she was 19.I had recently been laid off from my job which meant I had no money of my own and I had no idea what to do. I stayed with him because of our children but he wanted nothing to do with the baby on the way, refused to go to ultrasounds and Dr appointments and sat on the other side of the room watching football while I delivered her. I was so unhappy, I couldnt trust him and he made no effort to put things back together. One day I decided I was better than this...I DESERVED a happy life. So, I kicked himout . I had no money, no car,no job and 2 kids. It was the scariest thing I ever did, but also the best. I got a job 1 month later, went back to college and got a degree while still working full time, got an even better job where I have been promoted twice and lost 80 pounds. I also met a good man about 4.5 years ago who treats me like a queen and loves my kids.
Do you know how my ex husband ended up?He's been living in his parents' basement since the day I kicked him out almost 8 years ago. He has been unemployed most of that time, has gained 70 pounds and is still ALONE.
If I didnt believe in Karma, I do now. When I was in the stage you are in, I did not think I could survive. I couldnt breathe, or eat or stop crying. I thought my life was over. It was just beginning.
love this story! really empowering to women. u go girl!0 -
facebook:mad:
facebook is an insidious, difficult thing to manage. I decided not to unfriend my ex, but I don't have any harrassment issues. Make sure you go through all your photo albums and set them to private. EACH one has to be done separately.
Also, make your friends list private. So no one can see your info/pictures through any mutual friends. It is a chore to keep up with fb privacy settings but you have to do it.
I also found out last week, some of your photo albums will show up in the "Boxes" tab. Infuriating. And I don't know how that happens. So check your "Boxes" tab if you have one. I just deleted the tab, but there may be another way to take them out......it didn't affect my photos otherwise (by deleting the "Boxes" tab). Unfortunately if the photo albums are in the "Boxes" tab, even IF you have made the photos private, anyone can see them.:noway: Brutal.0 -
bump0
-
Hey where did everybody go? Been MIA for a bit. and it looks as if I am not the only one.0
-
I'm dying to know how Mexico went!! I hope she had fun!!!!0
-
*hug*
I'm sorry I can't offer more than that. Hang in there slugger.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 430 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions