Long distance relationships.

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  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I've been in a long distance relationship. He was in Fort Worth TX and I was near Kansas City (8 hrs apart, 500 miles). We were together 2 years. 5 of those months he lived in TX. When he moved, at first, our relationship was peachy. It was exciting to come down and see him. It was all new, things were different. After a while, he grew more independent. Made new friends and eventually found someone else. So, in my case, it was us not being together enough and him realizing he had different interests after relocating and making a new life. Besides, he also had some commitment issues, he was scared of taking the plunge. It was not all the distance because if he really wanted to stay, he would've stayed.

    The key, as I have found out, is to both be on the same page and want the same thing. If one of you is in the least bit worried, things get rocky...fast. You have to have confidence in yourself and trust in your partner. If that is solid, I think it can work out. TRUST.
  • kvalmera
    kvalmera Posts: 129 Member
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    I met my husband while I was vacationing in Turks and Caicos Islands down in the Caribbean. VERY long distance!!! But we made visits, talked everyday, skyped, etc. We did that for 9 months before marrying! We couldn't wait any longer and just eloped lol. We are VERY happy but of course we have our moments, lol But I would rather argue with him than not have him in my life at all (or him back in the islands)
  • Beleg
    Beleg Posts: 227 Member
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    I am a soldier and met my wife when I was home on leave. We had a long distance relationship for almost 2 years. It wasn't easy But we have been married for 17 yrs now. I have also been deployed 2 times for a total of 3 yrs. If you love each other and want it to work it will work.
  • audreytalab12
    audreytalab12 Posts: 8 Member
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    I live in Tulsa, OK and my boyfriend of 4 years lives in Cairo, Egypt. We met in college in Central Texas. He graduated before I did, moved back home to Dallas and then when I moved to Tulsa for a teaching job, he took off to Cairo to go to graduate school. Most of our relationship, we have lived apart. It sucks and I hate every second I am away from him. In the past year, we have seen each other a total of 25 days, not consecutively and usually several months in between. Honestly, the stress of this distance has been a major contribution to my significant weight gain. It's hard. Very, very hard.

    As far as tips, like everyone else says, trust. You have to trust what your partner is doing and more importantly, trust their love for you. In my case, I just have to trust that he is safe and okay, which is difficult when the leading cause of death in Cairo is traffic accident and there are violent protests on a regular basis. However, I trust who he is and the choices he makes and even when I feel insecure, I know he absolutely adores me. Long distance relationships take a lot of effort. It means staying up late to Skype due to different time zones. It means missing happy hours to rush home from work to talk. It means essentially living the life of a single person, without the fun of flirting, lol. We get by with as many emails and Skype conversations as we can manage, some solid hobbies, good friends and a lot of wine. If both partners are willing to put in the effort, it can definitely work. True love knows no distance. If it's meant to be, surely it will find a way. Best of luck.
  • DayumStraightIAmEllie
    DayumStraightIAmEllie Posts: 160 Member
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    I just got out of a long distance relationship. About an hour away. And personally it sucked. He was always so far away. I saw him once or twice a week. Never again! Not my type of relationship.
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
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    I'm currently in a long distance relationship. I laugh at people who are like "OMG my boyfriend lives 4 hours away! I can only see him like every other week!" Dude...my boyfriend is AUSTRALIAN. I am AMERICAN. I have seen him TWICE in a year and a half lol. Granted one of those times he was with me for 3 months but still lol. Honestly, if you TRULY love someone it will work no matter how far away you are. Don't get me wrong. It is NOT easy. NOT at all. NOT one bit but neither of us can imagine being with anyone else so we're doing what we have to do. I'm probably going to see him next month and I'm hoping for a ring so keep your fingers crossed for me haha.
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
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    I wouldn't. It would suck when you need your special someone and they can't be there to hold you or at least give you a shoulder to cry on.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    Ever been in one? How did it work out? How far apart?

    I'm talking states. Very new relationship, very excited about it and nervous at the same time. I have jealousy issues that I never knew I had, with him. Tips? tricks? ideas?!

    lol HELP!!

    I also developed some jealousy issues with my current SO. It's hard but I'm working on it. We are currently 5000miles away. The ONLY reason I decided to go for it is because we had been dating for 8 months before I moved and I am due to move back in January. We have seen each other once in july, once in august and we get to spend all of october together.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    I'm currently in one. I live in Norway and he lives in England. At the moment we're trying to find him work here so that we can see each other more often. To be honest long distance relationships are hard and they require a lot of trust, but there are a lot of good things that come out of it. If you're in one the distance can either ruin the relationship or make it even greater. Depends if the person you're with is someone you would actually consider spending the rest of your life with i guess. For me it's made my feelings grow much stronger and even though being apart isn't fun, the joy of seeing them after a few months is amazing.

    I'm in Norway too. You are lucky trips to england aren't that expensive. I'd be going all the time. My boss is in a long ditance marriage because of work currently. her husband is in england.
  • DebRene78
    DebRene78 Posts: 8
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    I am in Nashville, Tn and he is from Dublin, Ireland. The distance and time difference sucks but we have made it work over a year so far :)
  • becs_91
    becs_91 Posts: 180 Member
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    I have a WEALTH of experience on long distance relationships, if anyone ever wants to talk, lol.

    A year into my relationship with my now fiance, we had both been living in DC, and just about inseparable for that year. At around the same time, I moved to Chicago for school, and he began his USAF enlistment (first in TX for about 6 months and then in Montana). We have been long distance for almost 3 years now.

    A *lot* of discussion went into making the decision to attempt long distance. We talked a lot about the pros and cons (oh boy, are there cons). We laid everything out on the table, acknowledged that it was probably going to be unbelievably difficult, and agreed that if either of us ever grew to be less than 100% in it (too discouraged, started to resent the other, met someone else, etc.) that we would tell each other.

    I'm happy to say that we are now closer than I could have ever imagined. Don't get me wrong, it SUCKS, a LOT of the time. Seeing each other only a few times a year is rough. The goodbyes get harder every time. But it is soooo worth it. If you're willing to put in the effort (including a LOT of communication), it can work.

    I will say, though, I can't wait until we're FINALLY not long distance anymore - this all ends next July! Can't wait to live like normal people! :happy:
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    They do not work for me.
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
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    Jealousy will kill any relationship. If you don't trust them, don't date them.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,691 Member
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    Relationships are about intimacy and trust. It seems quite difficult when you think about it in terms of intimacy that you could possibly maintain an intimately satisfying relationship when you are constantly states apart. That being said, ALL people are different!! Both people have to be 100% committed or it will NOT work.
  • renamarie77
    renamarie77 Posts: 98 Member
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    Been in a few. Currently, my gf lives 5 hrs away and for awhile, we were seeing each other every two weeks. Now it's every month. It's absolutely killing me. If it wasn't for the phone and the ability to cam, I'd never make it. But even with that, it's killing me. The one with my ex-fiance, I felt like it was killing my soul. Sometimes now, I feel it. We're made to be together in the same space and the same time TOGETHER. I want to come home every day to her. I want to make plans on the weekend with her. It's weird living our lives separate. I'm trying, but idk how long it can stay that way. But I love her, so....
  • goldair23
    goldair23 Posts: 160
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    Nope, I don't think I'd personally be very good in one. I like the physical side of a relationship like the cuddles and kisses and the sex haha. Although if I'd been with the guy for over a year in the same city and one of us had to move, I guess I'd consider it x
  • becs_91
    becs_91 Posts: 180 Member
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    Jealousy will kill any relationship. If you don't trust them, don't date them.

    Amen to that. It's poison.

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