Cruel Family Members

I'm probably not the first to come up with this idea but somebody should try and compile these stories and they should be mandatory reading as soon as a kid can read.
Too often cruelty from family and school kids has such lasting effects on a person’s self-image. The sticks and stones saying doesn't cover it at all. I'm glad I was raised with enough sense to not make fun of other people however I should not have laughed at others expense I should have stuck up for them(going to plead ignorance of others feelings here). Reading threads like this has altered my mind set in regards to what I think is funny or acceptable to think /say or allow others to say about other people’s issues. I’m not sure If all that makes sense. Anyhow thanks for the enlightenment.

Because I live with family members I can tell you that the line "You're still fat" maybe them trying to help you lose more weight.

However, in this house, unless we bring up the subject, you do not talk about my weight.

Or for some reason he's (my dad) is mad about something and decides to go off of me than the arguement comes about my weight and isn't over until I..burst out in tears.

So, hang in there and use this as moderavation to lose even more weight. I know it hurts.

When I was in the 8th grade I was sitting on the porch with my grandfather at his farm and he reached over and patted my thigh and sad "Ooo girl, if you were a pig you'd be ready for slaughter". He said it as a joke but it has stuck with me all these years and has always popped into my head anytime I put on shorts, a bathing suit or anything that shows my thighs.

When I was still quite young (somewhere between 12 and 14 I reckon) I wasn't overweight at all I was just tall and not a bean pole, I was at my nan's house and out of nowhere she told me I could 'do with losing a few pounds' I was so horrified I started crying and she told me not to be so silly. I still don't know why she said it and I don't think she'd remember doing it if I asked her about it.

On the other hand she was the first person to comment on my recent weight loss and I hadn't told her I was trying to lose any.

When I was 14 my stepfather compared me to my mom by saying I was the fat, ugly daughter. I was about 10 lbs overweight. I wasted a lot of my life waiting to "live" until I was thin like my mom. Fortunately, I married a man who loves my - and my body - no matter what form it takes. I was strong enough to carry and deliver two babies - one 10 lbs - and with the help of MFP strong enough to complete the 30DS twice and am now doing another Jillian Michaels dvd. Focus on what you see positive and beautiful in yourself. People do not think before they speak and for some reason weight is considered fair game.

My whole family is pretty much cruel to me about my weight but the worst is my mom. She always tells me that i'm too fat and people don't like fat people and i'll never get a good guy (which I have one right now thank you) and I'm too lazy etc etc etc.

I cope with this by listening to my fav music or band and working out. I know each workout and each right food choice, no matter what other people say, is one step closer to my goal and I will be danged if anyone is going to stand in the way of me and my goal!!!!!

I AM the cruel family member. However, that's because my family is a bunch of sloths, gradually waddling their way toward type 2 diabetes (brother weighs 325 at 5'11", mother weighs 285 at 5'7" as examples), and much like myself, will never do a damned thing about it, unless someone like myself keeps stabbing at them over it. We are a hardheaded bunch, and the only think that got me moving was some rather nasty words coming from a man I greatly admire. Sadly, they will require the same things, and it will take a LOT of it to get them to break their complacency.

I totally know how you feel.

I've always been overweight. When I was a kid my mom use to say nasty stuff like that to me. She would make fun of me all the time. She's stopped when I told her if she doesn't stop talking to me like that, that I will no longer talk to her. Now she's one of my biggest supporters (after 2 years of fighting). My grandma on the other hand... well. We were having dinner with my aunt (who is also overweight) and she goes "You would be pretty if you were skinny." My Aunt and I just looked at her in complete shock. Then she tries to give me diet advice. She says "You only need to eat one meal a day, you'll lose weight faster." I've explained to her that it's not healthy. But she still keeps going.

It's really hard to get past a situation like that. Actually, it's next to impossible seeing how they're family. You just have to stay positive. Keep telling yourself that you are on the right path. Look at it as another reason to continue to lose weight.

I am going to cross my fingers the only thing that kept you from kicking their *kitten* was b/c you may have been kicked out of school. Where I am from, that was an automatic "you can meet me in the parking lot" pass to get your front teeth knocked out. I don't like bullying at all.

This remark wasn't made by friends at all. My senior year of high school, three years ago, I had to do a group project where we had to reenact a part of Shakespeare; we had to improvise with things we had right then and there. Well I was going to be the sound effects, thunder mainly. Well my group was up, so I was making a "boom" sound and in front of the whole class the two "popular" girls said:

1st girl: "Wow, she sounds like a cow making those sounds."
2nd girl: "well look at her, she is a cow."

It simply broke me hearing those words. I wanted to cry, i wanted to hurt them, anything to make me feel better. But what I did do was simply smile at them and went on. However after school I bawled my eyes out for hours.

I also think about what parents of people who say such things must have said to those people, that kind of thing usually comes from somewhere...

Words my mother once said stick with me even now.

My sister was crying about how her boobs were too small and she was trying to convince my mother to help her pay for cosmetic surgery. Instead, my mother called me downstairs (I was in my early twenties) and proceeded to prod and poke every squishy bit she could find telling my sister that she 'should never want to look like THAT'. They both laughed and continued to make rude comments when I walked away.

My sister and I get along great now that I've moved away, but I have the feeling my mother would still be vindictive.

Words my mother once said stick with me even now.

My sister was crying about how her boobs were too small and she was trying to convince my mother to help her pay for cosmetic surgery. Instead, my mother called me downstairs (I was in my early twenties) and proceeded to prod and poke every squishy bit she could find telling my sister that she 'should never want to look like THAT'. They both laughed and continued to make rude comments when I walked away.

My sister and I get along great now that I've moved away, but I have the feeling my mother would still be vindictive.

its weird right? they're supposed to be your family and have your back. this thread would say otherwise. its sad.

First off, good job on your weight loss. It is hard especially when the closest people to you don't understand or conferm your hard work. I know we all look for comfort and the good job speech. To bad the real world is not always like that. I have always been a positve as one person can be, but I have had friends and also been in relationships where I've seen verbal abuse. It is quite disheartning. Just remember that YOU have to be your own rock and find people that do support you. As soon as you relize the power is yours there is no stopping you. GOOD LUCK!!!:flowerforyou:

This is my "second" account as my other one isn't anonymous and is stalked by nosey family members. But YES, I understand all too well.

In my case it's my Mother and she is being purposely cruel I feel. She's always been fiercely competitive with me, flirting with my boyfriends, taking my friends out partying, or having parties with them at home while I was at work (she was a teen mom so only 16years older than me). I swear she cut my hair badly and dressed me in ugly clothes on purpose when I was a kid too.

She started losing weight last year by basically starving herself, she keeps her hunger pains at bay with cigarettes, coffee and alcohol, her health is in real danger. She raves on about how young she is to be a grandma but then gets hiffy when no one says anything in response- most likely because though she is 40-something she looks almost 60.

I purposely didn't tell her I'd started losing weight, and it was fine for awhile as she doesn't come visit us but couldn't not invite her to our kids birthdays and she clearly noticed that I've lost (30+ pounds so far), and oh my goodness she has been mean since. Calling me a skinny b!tch, boasting about her own weightloss, telling me "oh you have less chins now" (I didn't really have a double chin, it was more in my cheeks- she however has a turkey neck), "you're still too fat to wear that top honey" (everyone else had complimented it), "you've been lifting heavy weights haven't you? you're getting man shoulders" "I'm having a wardrobe cleanout of all my fat clothes- would you like to go through them before I donate them?". All of those comments in front of my friends, husband and children.
For the record we're the same height and she was still about 20lbs heavier than me. She's just in the past month or two started to pile weight back on, I last saw her a week ago after not seeing her for a month and suspect she is now heavier than me again, but goes on about her weightloss on facebook all the time, fishing for compliments, then tagging me in all her pictures that she has of me from about two years ago when I was the heaviest post-baby.
I have no father, so it seems pretty sad but I kinda wish I didn't have a mother either sometimes. She's so hurtful and I guess it's only a matter of time before she starts on my daughter too.
My sister was subject to the same personal attacks when she had lost weight too, but is now heavier than ever and I suspect because of the berating, she's now heavier than she's ever been so her and Mother are getting along fine.
Very Over It.

My brother lives in New Jersey and only comes home (Utah) twice a year. When he came home for a week in July, it had been since Christmas that he had seen me. In this time I lost about 50 lbs. My mom and sisters have had a really hard time with my weight loss. They are all slightly overweight but aren't doing anything about it. When I went to my parent's house, my brother was in my mom's room. When I walked in, the shock on his face was priceless. He said "Meowy, (that's what he calls me) you're so skinny!!!!! He gave me a hug and just kept putting his arms around my body. I had to run back out to my car and while I was gone, my mom and sister told him not to encourage me. They were tired of hearing all about my weight loss. When he told me what they has said, I was crushed. He told me that whenever I had something to share about my weight loss to call him. What's funny is when I got into a size 14/16 shirt, I bought a couple of new shirts. My sister really liked the shirt I had on. When I told her what size it was, she was all excited because we could share cloths now. Ya... don't think so