Cruel Family Members

My first name is Patrick, so naturally, I was called Fat Pat by my friends all through middle school and high school. I've always been pretty tough skinned so I went along with it most of the time, but sometimes it really just pissed me off.

I feel your pain. My step-grandfather makes comments every holiday about my weight. Cruel comments about "really, do you need to eat THAT much?!" and things like that when my plate is barely full. He also tends to make comments about how much better I'd look if I lost weight. Then when I do lose weight he makes degrading comments as well. People are going to be cruel and unfortuantely many of those people are family members...you're being healthy and better for yourself, not them. As much as it hurts some family just doesn't know how to recognize weight loss.

My dad always makes comments, for years it was "You'd be pretty if you just lost a few pounds" "You were so skinny as a child, I called your sister the fat one" "If you'd just move around all the weight would fall off" Lately it's "You'll find someone soon hopefully, there's always chubby chasers" "If you'd just stop taking your anti-depressants you'd lose weight, you were never depressed as a child, so they are obviously useless" "Your mother pushes so many pills on you that you're so fat" "You always talk about fat but this boy/girl I saw was so much fatter and *insert random thing here*"(He thinks anyone under 60 should be spoken of in child terms) "Your sister looks like a model, I don't know why she gets so offended"(Here I just get implied things, considering everything else is so direct I shouldn't care) "When your sister was a baby, they wanted to use her as a baby model"
I often wish my mom would have let him sign the termination of parental rights, then I could not talk to him and feel fine about it.
The divorce and the pills are the cause of all my problems according to him, I think it was better not to live in the same house as him, but he always says how I'd "be so much better off, not so lazy, and you kids would be successful" if he'd raised us. Makes up stories about stuff that never happened. Denies hitting me as an adolescent and child. "I only ever thought about it, I'd never hit you kids" According to him he's supportive and kind. "You failed school because you were too lazy to walk a few blocks to classes" It was 6-7 miles from dormitory to Range Animal Science Center.
When I was a child I was so thin some people at school apparently thought I was anorexic. I could eat what I wanted, but I have major clinical depression, was put on some medications, one of them put 50 lbs on me over a summer, put on a lot of weight, was taken off that medication. My dad blames all the medications I take now, but I don't think so, it's not as extreme as then. I'd not talk to him, and sometimes I don't talk to him, but then I feel bad, he's 66 and not healthy at all. So I eventually talk to him again. Then I feel bad some more.

I just have no self worth over the years, and it's hard to motivate me to do anything, I figure unless I weigh about 100 lbs I'll always be called fat, and there's no way I'd ever get 100 and I wouldn't want to. It wouldn't be healthy for my height. I am trying to motivate myself now, I have to admit thinking of giving up foods I enjoy is hard, they taste so good, it's one of the only things I enjoy in life.
Aunts and Uncles I'm sure made comments, only thing I ever heard, on accident is "She won't live to 25" I'm 27 thanks. I don't talk to them.
Then there was church kids, junior high school kids, by high school I didn't hear anything about it, but I didn't pay attention anymore either. But that's not what this is about.

congrats on your weight loss, I think you look amazing!

I know ALL too well how hurtful family can be with cruel weight comments. It gets to me as well, I wish it didn't but I am slowly trying to remind myself it's not me it's them. Anyone who would diminish your hard earned success is just showing what an ugly person they are inside.

You hang in there and keep being successful. :flowerforyou:

This is very interesting to read!
Wow do I have stories, I have been beaten up verbally my whole life for my weight.
As a kid I was called fat and actually got so self concious about my body that I wore the highest knee socks and longest skirts I could find to school-this was when you had to wear skirts.
I look back at pictures and see that I was a very beautiful child and a healthy weight, not fat at all, but I always felt so ugly, fat and not good enough.
My moms best friends daughter was my age and was teeny tiny and I got compared to her a lot.
While visiting realatives in the south I was told "youre gettin' fat just like your mama!" Every bite I would take "that'll make you fat!"
I have a very public job and I dread pulling my delivery truck up to some places. The guys notice the blonde hair and anxiously wait
to see the rest. When I pop out I have had groups of construction workers, prisoners, golfers..whatever..just bust out laughing. Its humiliating.
Once I was rushing to make a delivery and was zipping up a main streets sidewalk when a city truck went by and a guy screamed out the window " if you ran like that more often, you wouldnt be so fat!" I just stopped and everyone around me was mortified and embarassed for me. I handed the person the package and she said "that wasnt nice" I said "you know what? I agree!" I ran back to my truck, chased them down and reported them to the city manager who was more than apologetic. He wanted me to come in for a formal apology but Id had enough.
The best was when I made a delivery and a guy in a back room was trying to get a look at me, as the door shut I heard "was she really hot?" then "I guess, but she was real fat, so no" I yelled through the door "Im fat, not deaf, *kitten*!"

I really love family.
However!
If it cannot function and be healthy (i'm talking extended family, or if you're a grown adult on your own), I distance myself.
I will not tolerate someone having privileged access into my life...and abusing it!
I remain polite....but the more intimate contact is not gonna happen anymore. How permanent that is will depend on them.

When I was 8 months pregnant with my first kiddo, my (now ex) husband and I ran into my mom and dad out with a couple of friends at a Mexican restaurant. I came over and my dad started mocking me about how huge I was. Now, mind you, my dad was 5'11" and weighed in around 310-320lbs. . .I looked him square in the eye and said, "well, mine (said while rubbing my belly) will be gone in another few months. How long have you been hauling yours around?!?"

His friends all started snickering and he brushed my comment off. We left. Thing is, confronting my dad like that usually would've created and ERUPTION of anger, but he knew he was out of line, and, well, obese. So, there!

My dad has been gone over 9 years now, but I still remember that incident like it was yesterday!

First of all, congratulations on your weight loss! You have made great progress already. Second of all, I peaked at the pictures in your profile; you are lovely. Third, this world is full of cruel people, and we are probably related to most of the. But if I was you, I would do my best to ignore Grandpa and take what he says with a grain of salt. One of the symptoms of aging is a loss of inhibitions and an inability to tell appropriate from inappropriate comments. Grandpa may have the beginnings of senility or dementia!

I'm sorry your family is not very nice. I think your progress is admirable and you're on the right path. Try not to let someone get you down. You're strong and determined and you will prove anyone who questions you wrong! Hang in there.

My mom calls me a 'fat pig'. I mean come on! im 128lb! it's not that bad. I get so mad at her when she calls me that. my dad justs say that im fat.

My brother is different. He says that im skinny. How sweet of him.

Oh, MY! Does she weigh less than you?

I think thats apart of life that everyone is made fun of by family,friends, or strangers....I gave up on myself and became accostomed to the verbal abuse, insults.....And realized I just needed to ignore them...Especially when you start losing weight and they are so mean to you and put you down over and over.....You give up or give in....

I decided not to and overcame it...I don't share anything and ignore there comments...Infact if they notice a change I just don't pay attention...ANd when I workout I take out my anger and frustration out on my workouts....

Ignore them and don't care about them.......

People, get made fun of for weight, skin color...and more.......

Well this one wasn't recent but it did affect me a lot. In high school (4-8years ago depending on grade) I was 5ft6 140lbs, which I know now was great and I'd give anything to weigh that again. Well I had a sister same height 2yrs older and she was always super thin, she weighed 115. My mom always compared up. I was always the fat one who needed the bigger sizes. They would bring me shopping and if I went to grab a medium and laugh and say I needed a large. I was meatball and she was spaghetti. That's how it always was. I know now I was perfect(well not exactly but weight wise) but instead i spent my years in baggy cloths and multiple layers to hide my fat. From there I'd just eat whatever. I was already fat so why not eat half a pizza, to me fat was fat. So I guess I kind of resent it now that I am way to heavy. I never had any confidence.

I AM the cruel family member. However, that's because my family is a bunch of sloths, gradually waddling their way toward type 2 diabetes (brother weighs 325 at 5'11", mother weighs 285 at 5'7" as examples), and much like myself, will never do a damned thing about it, unless someone like myself keeps stabbing at them over it. We are a hardheaded bunch, and the only think that got me moving was some rather nasty words coming from a man I greatly admire. Sadly, they will require the same things, and it will take a LOT of it to get them to break their complacency.

I hope you read these so that you will understand that being cruel wont help.
Personally if someone I admirred did that, I would be enraged (possibly facing assault charges) and then I would become depressed.

Before I started trying to lose weight people I didn't even know would say things like, your cute, it is too bad your fat. Then I had one friend who just kept it up in a bar one day, over and over. It was humiliating. What kind of friend says such mean things. Then when I lost 60 pounds a friend came up to me and waned to know if I had aids. You can't win. Do it for yourself. Eventually, everyone will know what they said was hurtful. I wish you the best. Take care.