**Warning, whining imminent** 27 lbs, no one is noticing?



  • NorthwestPA
    NorthwestPA Posts: 63 Member
    I have lost 34 lbs and my brother last week told me he can't tell. So don't fell like your the only one.
  • 1sophiesophie
    1sophiesophie Posts: 67 Member
    I think most people probably do notice but are afraid to say anything because of the chance of being wrong. There is nothing worse than telling a bigger person you look great how much weight have you lost and them say I haven't lost any. Awkward!!!!

    Why is it awkward? I've often asked somebody "have you lost a bit of weight?" and even if they say no, I just follow it up with a "oh - it's just that you look great today", much like you might ask if somebody has been on holiday or changed their hair, or something like that. It has never gone down badly when the ultimate message you have got across is that they are looking their best. In fact, it is usually responded to by them saying, "but I HAVE tried to eat a bit better / get more sleep / exercise a bit more, recently (after all, many people are often in the middle of some kind of improvement plan!) - I don't really see the harm.
  • lhaddad2012
    lhaddad2012 Posts: 1 Member
    You should be very proud of yourself for losing that much weight! DO NOT let others discourage you from your weight loss journey, most people now a days do not share compliments they can only share the negative. I do not know you but I can say anyone who as lost 30 lbs in my book is awesome it is so hard to lose it be proud of yourself!
  • Flyer615
    Flyer615 Posts: 173 Member
    You will rarely get the reaction from people that you expect (or want). When I had lost 25 pounds, three people came up to me on the same day and asked if I'd gotten a haircut. Now, after ninety pounds, people come up to me and say, "You've lost enough," or "you're getting too skinny." I'm 6'1" and 220 pounds. I am not "too" skinny. The last time I was this size I was an offensive lineman in college. I wasn't too skinny then. Even though we are doing this for ourselves, we still thrive on other people's compliments. Patience is the key. If you build it, they will come (compliments, that is). As for me, I'm thinking about have my "before" picture imprinted on a t-shirt. Then, I'm going to just walk around in the mall somewhere and see if anybody says anything. :tongue:
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    I think it might not be as much as they didn't notice but they don't quite know how to say that you lost weight.

    Maybe they don't know you're trying to lose weight so they might offend you by saying you had lost it.

    Additionally you're doing this for you and that is what matters. People will notice and comment but just focus on the most important person here, you. Keep it up, you're doing great.

    Also congrats to your fiancee as well.

    ^^^This! I recently ran into a former co-worker I hadn't seen in two years. I've lost 50lbs since the last time he saw me. He didn't mention the weight loss, but he asked me how I was doing and I mentioned how much better I felt since losing the weight. He said, "Yeah! You look great! I could tell right away that you had lost alot of weight, but I wasn't sure if I should say so." I think people are afraid to mention it and say you look better for losing weight because that implies that, not only were you fat before, but they didn't like the way you looked before, either. Trust me, people notice. It's more important that YOU notice the difference, though.
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
    People at work didn't notice my weight loss until I went from 230 to about 190. Then I started getting daily comments on it, and I'm the type of person who does not want people to comment on my weight so I liked the delay and wish it had lasted... forever. lol
  • Parthiv0304
    Should rub it in yourself and tell people you lost that much lol
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    You will rarely get the reaction from people that you expect (or want).

    This is an important thing to note. You can't control people's reactions, and if you have expectations of how people will react to your weight loss, there will always be some amazing surprises. You didn't lose weight so you would get compliments from your coworkers, you did it to feel better about your health and appearance for YOU.

    Do you have an important person in your life who you trust implicitly, and want to involve in your weight loss progress? A mom, sister, friend, boyfriend maybe? Tell them "hey I'm in the process of losing weight and sometimes it's hard for me to notice if I'm making progress. Once in a while, would you let me know if you see any positive changes in my appearance? It would really help me to keep my motivation."
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    I have lost 34 lbs and my brother last week told me he can't tell. So don't fell like your the only one.

    What is your brother like? Sometimes siblings can make hateful remarks because they don't like the idea of their brother or sister getting attention for their positive achievements. It's the old Cain and Abel syndrome. 34lbs and he can't tell a difference?! He's either lying through his teeth, or he needs an eye exam.
  • JennKie1
    JennKie1 Posts: 200 Member
    I think it's sometimes hard for people to notice when they see you every day. Since the loss is gradual, they don't realize it. I bet if you ran into someone you haven't seen in months, they would certainly notice.

    A couple of days ago I was at my mother-in-law's house. She asked if I was still on a diet, and my husband chimed in "yes, and she's lost about 60# (which he was joking)" I said, "No, more like 10" and her response was, "Well, maybe if she lost 60, I would have noticed." REALLY?! So clearly, she didn't notice I had lost weight, and thinks I need to lose 60#. Which, if I were to do, I would weigh about 100# at 5'7", so that is completely ridculous. I certainly have much more to lose, but I also can tell the difference in the way my clothes fit, etc....

    Some people are so wrapped up in themselves, they don't notice others' little victories / accomplishments. 30# is AMAZING!! If you started out around 300, that is 10% of your body weight. What a huge accomplishment!!! :smile: And, if you're feeling good about it, then who cares about everyone else? You know things are fitting better, you feel better, your confidence should be getting a boost - that should keep you going. Contratulations!
  • HMToomey
    HMToomey Posts: 276
    I got to -40 before anyone noticed... Basically I was wearing tents all summer since nothing fit me, went to my twin goddaughters birthday party in a new shirt that fit me (It was a purple and blue party so I needed an appropriately colored shirt) and everyone finally noticed! I had gone from a size 20 down to a size 14 at that point!

    People are oblivious and you need to hit them over the head! Do this for you, not them, and when they finally open their eyes You can laugh and ask where they've been! :flowerforyou:
  • libbymcbain
    libbymcbain Posts: 206 Member
    Hello, well done! Congrats on losing so much.

    Think it can also be a case of there being "a magic pound" - there is just a pound where you suddenly look thinner. I know from past experience that I have several tipping points- going under 190, 164, 147 and 136- I just suddenly look a whole look slimmer than I did just a pound or two before. Then I have another plateau where I pretty much look the same til I reach the next tipping point and then suddenly I look thinner again.

    Sometimes as well, we are looking for the "biggest loser" moment. Someone steps on the scale, has lost weight and there are gasps and applause. But there is a great big scale with huge numbers pointing that out next to the contestants.
  • violetpearl76
    Years ago I lost, well, A LOT of weight and it was not the people I see everyday that would say something, it was those who great gaps of time has passed that would say something. Keep up the great work and don't get discouraged as you're sooooo worth the effort! Oh, and don't feel bad for "whining" as you're a human being; just great to see you acknowledging that you needed to do so and therefore are reinstating the "sucking it up" montra ;-)
  • alishacupcake
    alishacupcake Posts: 419 Member
    I agree that most poeple probably don't know how to approach you about it. Recently a woman I work with lost alot of weight and I didn't comment because I know how uncomfortable it makes me when someone comments on my weight, negative or positive.

    In my teens I did a lot of yo yo dieting. An older lady said to me one time: You looks so good, I hope you can keep it off this time, just stay away from the cookies. I was mortified and of course I gained the weight back like I always did back then. So that's all I could think about was now what she must be thinking about me.
  • SabrinaLily
    WoW. First off- that's AMAZING. Not only have you lost double digits, but you've lost 1/4 of 100 pounds (now THAT sounds impressive if you word it that way. LOL). Anywho, I am sorry that you're not getting more praise or people noticing. I don't know if it's that no one is actually noticing- maybe they feel weird asking "have you lost weight" because perhaps they fear you'll interpret it as a backwards way of saying "you needed to lose weight". Or, maybe they actually haven't noticed. Shoot, I'm beating myself up for having lost 5 tiny pounds and not seeing a difference (which is silly to even expect!). Regardless, keep in mind that you are doing this for YOURSELF, not them! I'd kill to have lost 27 pounds so whereas some people may not be noticing- keep in mind others (like me!) are crazy jealous of you! That takes A LOT of hard work. I don't know where it's coming off of you right now, and everyone's different, but sooner or later, they'll be bound to notice! But like I said, just cause they're not saying anything doesn't mean they're not noticing! Maybe they're even jealous- who knows. But if it helps, I'm damn proud of you!!! :)
  • aweigh2go
    aweigh2go Posts: 164 Member
    You should be losing the weight for yourself and not others. Seek your own approval and not that of those around you!
  • OfficiallySexyVal
    OfficiallySexyVal Posts: 492 Member
    Unfortunately no matter where you go, people will be oblivious to your weight loss! Or they are scared to say something about it because they feel it is a touchy subject! I have lost 55lbs on MFP and 60lbs over all and aside from my MFP friends who tell me how great I am looking everyday (I love them for that) but friends and family do not seem to notice.
  • Cobweb200
    I suspect they maybe embarassed to mention it especially if you have not mentioned that you are trying. You (and we) know you have done it as does your partner. You just keep your head high, walk tall and keep focussed on that wedding date when there may well be some OMG faces. So what! You are doing this for you guys aren't you? Well done, keep calm and carry on xx
  • Faericn_Rising
    Thanks all... I have indeed lost 1/4of my total goal, and knowing i have to do what i did already only 3 more times, is very inspiring to me. I am of course sticking with it, and while it wasnt so much discouraging not to have people notice, i guess i was just wanting attention, which is pretty childish, lol..

    Im happy to be getting healthy. And i cant wait to ****ing run. <3 Thanks for all the support.

    I have started taking full body pics this week. and there are some of my face, in my profile. <3

    Best of luck, and congrats to all of you on your own journeys. <3

  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    Yep... I know this is all being done for me, and thats what keeps me going. my personal end goal is to run. I dont even bother explaining that to most people because they just look at me like 'uh... yeah... ok.... you do that...."

    It is all for me. I know that. In fact, this honestly is entirely motivated by health, and not looks. I was confident to the point of being cocky, even when fat. I dont need any help there. ;-) However, I was kind of looking forward to when people did start to notice, and then no one did. and i found i was disappointed.

    You are all right about people probably being cautious in case im sensitive.

    I have not bought new clothes, because i dont want to waste my fiancees money by doing it 4 times, so im waiting for the end...
    But maybe getting one or two new things to wear places wouldnt kill me...

    I think i just need to recenter my focus to the fact that i want to live longer with my sweetie, and continue on just asi have been.

    Thanks all.

    Aw, I know just how you feel. When I first started losing, I felt like no one noticed...but then when I got below 180 (down 35 pounds), that's when another people started saying stuff, probably because I looked more like "my old self."

    I think along the way you will have to buy some new clothes...your old ones will be falling off of you after a while! I wear belts with the size 14s (that had been sitting in my closet for years), but they still look ridiculous since I'm closer to an 8 now. I started buying cheaper things, workout clothes, pjs, etc. rather than actual number sizes until I reach my goal.

    You're doing great, keep it up!! :)