Upset people because you DONT drink alcohol

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Replies

  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Only drunks gets upset at non-drinkers. That can't stand to see people that can choose not to drink.
    I know this well. Sober approaching 30 years now. But back in my youth I could not understand the non-drinker/choice drinker.
    For a drunk, drinking is the central activity, not the bowling, or fishing, or watching sports with friends. I used to say that drinking made doing nothing seem like doing something.
    Of course, the best part of being sober among a group of drunk friends is being to recall and remind them of every stupid think they did the night before. :bigsmile:

    Sober almost 3 months. The first thing I noticed is I can't "hang out" anymore. The reason is because drinking is the activity. With the absence of drinking, there is literally NOTHING going on. So, I just can't do it anymore. The toughest part is losing the friendships, however warped they are. But, choosing not to drink is one of the best decisions of my life.
  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
    I just say I'm an alcoholic. Everyone pretty much shuts up. But, my friends know that about me (problem with alcohol) and respect my decision to not drink.

    I guess since they are friends, they probably know you're not an alcoholic. I think they just want you to join in the fun. It's like if everyone is playing a game, and you're just sitting watching. They want you to play too. That's all.

    One thing a teacher from a long time ago told me he used to do, and I think this is brilliant, he would order a beer in a dark bottle, then immediately take it into the bathroom, pour it out and fill it with water. Then, everyone would think he's drinking. He would just sip on it so he didn't have to keep wasting money, but, it solved the problem of everyone asking him to join them for a drink. You can try that sometime. Although, in some ways, I disagree with that, in another way, it's an easier way to avoid the conflict. Especially for business meetings, if they are important. It could be a good way to stay "in". Or, you could move away from your friends, go to the end of the bar or something, and order soda water with a lime. Then, you can just say its vodka and soda.

    But, the alcoholic thing works wonders. No one will mess with you after that.

    why would you say you're an alcoholic? if your not really an alcoholic? this only creates problems because if they see you drinking some where down the line then they start talking about you.

    besides the fact that alcoholism is a real problem, take from me I'm a alcoholic and I've been sober 6 years

    the best advice is just tell them no thanks and if they have a problem with it then it's there problem

    I guess you missed the part where I said I am.

    that's just more confusing.
  • thatjulesgirl
    thatjulesgirl Posts: 200 Member

    Sober almost 3 months. The first thing I noticed is I can't "hang out" anymore. The reason is because drinking is the activity. With the absence of drinking, there is literally NOTHING going on. So, I just can't do it anymore. The toughest part is losing the friendships, however warped they are. But, choosing not to drink is one of the best decisions of my life.

    Me too and GOOD ON YOU!! Amazing what a difference it makes :)
  • shamr0ck
    shamr0ck Posts: 296 Member
    I don't find that people get upset. On the contrary, they seem happy to have a dedicated designated driver. I can have just as much fun sober as they claim to have while drinking. :D
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    People usually love it when I don't drink. I'm the designated driver! Plus, people know I do what I want and I don't care what they think about it. They don't waste their breath *****ing at me. I'm deaf to it. :drinker:
  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
    Seems to me it would be easier to reply "And how do you know I'm not drinking?"

    I can't imagine someone who is so nosy they MUST find out if you have alcohol in your drink. I assume people going to a bar are there to have a pop. I never ask someone if they are imbibing: it's none of my business. The question is: why do your friends need to know? Mine don't give a flying squirrel about it... Maybe question this, rather than the decision to drink or not to drink.
  • munanabanana
    munanabanana Posts: 36 Member
    This topic caught my eye because i find it interesting that choosing not to drink would make others upset =\

    Its confusing, since my drinking (or lack of) has nothing to do with them. And I can have a good time either way. Fortunately, I've never been in this situation,, my few but close friends are open minded and honestly don't care what I do as long as we're all having fun. And that's the way it should be. Fun is the main goal, not getting **** faced drunk lol
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    Oh and God forbid if you answer them that you are 'dieting', you will get a hail storm of comments

    I wouldn't ever say it's because you're dieting or watching calories when you're sitting around with a bunch of people who ARE drinking. That would be like me eating a piece of cake and someone saying, "Do you know how fattening that is"?
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
    Because drinking is seen as "fun" and it's usually a central thing when hanging out. I don't drink either but for religious reasons but man I sometimes wish to join in on the "fun". I don't get peer pressured, my friends and everyone else respects it. It's hard for someone from my culture to be born and raised in the western culture while trying to respect my parents culture.
  • GCAsMom
    GCAsMom Posts: 120 Member
    We went out for the first time in a very, very long time. My husband had a few beers, our friends were blitzed. I drank diet coke. When they asked if I wanted anything to drink, I said, "empty calories, dude! Empty calories!" They laughed and went on with having a good time. 'Course we all are very easy-going and razz each other all the time, so I can say stuff like that. Also, besides that, I'm a designated driver. Around here DDs get a certain amount of respect, so it's never really an issue of contention; I don't know why anyone would have a problem with that.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    My Dad, the smartest guy I know, sez that changing to good health is like quitting any addiction. You tend to not spend time with the people you were addicted with. Great words.

    Your Dad is awesome! :heart:
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    I get this too. I've started to resort to saying really loudly "I'm a recovering alcoholic" shuts them up and gives me a little giggle in the process.

    I literally just LOL'ed/slobbered on my keyboard, lol! I visualized myself doing this! haha I don't drink at all. Unfortunately I am still in that college-age peer group where I hang with underage kids who ask me to buy them drinks; which I won't. I even purposely serve at a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol. but seriously idk why it matters, I don't question their drink choices.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    I deal with this also. I take a medication that states "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS MEDICATION". Even when I tell people that I still get - oh you can still have one. Very annoying.

    I've always assumed that was a suggestion, that alcohol will just make the medication a little better ;)

    If I turn down a drink, people assume I must be pregnant.
  • Melionfire
    Melionfire Posts: 343 Member
    I am recently married and now when I say no to alcohol the first thing people think is I'M pregnant and not oh she wants to be healthy and is watching her calories. It is really frustrating. My husband keeps telling me you know that they're going to think if you don't drink. I was at a party last weekend and I decided I didn't want to drink and the hostess would make me drinks with out even asking me. Then I feel mean for not drinking them. I will occasionally have one or two and I mean very occasionally but I have no erge to binge drink anymore especially after a perfect week of eating and working out really hard. I do beleive people need everyone to drink to not feel self concious. However, I have never needed alcohol to have a good time and still have lots of fun. If anything it is pretty funny watching a bunch of drunks when you are perfectly sober!!!!
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    i have no idea. i choose not to drink too and i get razzed a lot as well.
  • lenniebus
    lenniebus Posts: 321 Member
    I don't give my husband a hard time about not drinking, but he doesn't and I do occassionally. He doesn't like the taste, and he doesn't like the way drunk people behave. Sooooo, I'm guessing your friends might feel like your choice not to drink may reflect badly on their choice to drink...and perhaps they are justifying their choice by belittling yours. I'm pretty sure they don't really mean it...I often don't drink when others are, and if they say something, I just truly blow it off.
  • Faithenfire
    Faithenfire Posts: 6
    I think they think you are judging them.

    However, I don't drink very often, I have stomach issues and medication contraindications. When it is asked of me, I just say "i don't want to"
    I don't need to explain my decisions to anyone
  • lripson28
    lripson28 Posts: 213 Member
    My group of friends was never big drinkers. It didn't matter so much to them that I didn't, it was just how we were. When my husband and I started dating, his friends all liked to drink. Not tons, but just enjoyed a few beers whenever they hung out. They liked to go hang out at bars and just sit around and talk. They kept trying to get me to have a drink with them, but I never had more than 1. I just never felt the need or want to drink.. I don't need alcohol to have fun, nor do I want to waste my hard earned money like that. It's been 5 years since we met, and we're now married. Now it doesn't make any difference to them if I drink with them or not, they've realized that it's just not who I am and have stopped pressuring me. It's too bad more people don't realize that they don't need alcohol in their lives. I bet the world would be a better place.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Probably because they wanted you to lighten up and party and you kept being normalyou instead of just relaxing and goofing off. Not necessarily about the booze. They were probably telling you you were being stingy with the fun.
  • ItsTimeDave
    ItsTimeDave Posts: 43 Member
    I can count on 2 hands then numbers of drinks I have had since i stopped seriously drinking about 10 years ago. I now find drunk people very irritating and too loud and tend to avoid putting myself in that situation, however 10 years ago it was different, I probably couldnt count on both hands how many drink i had that night and eventually probably couldnt see my hands :/

    People ask if i am T-Total i say no, i just choose not to have a drink, at first work colleagues would try nag me to have a drink or 2 but I was strong and kept saying no and eventually it sunk in. now they ask me to go out just to taxi them around... no win win here lol

    Dont let them get to you about drinking, waking up every mornign with a clear head is the best feeling ever.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Order a "Virgin Cuba Libre." Diet cola with lime.

    I don't think I've had anyone give me grief about not drinking since was about 19. I didn't drink at all then. I didn't start drinking until shortly before my 21st birthday when I was stranded at my boyfriend's parents' house during a blizzard... It was enough to drive anyone to alcohol. :laugh:

    I drink now, but I don't drink often or a lot, and no one gets upset if I'm not drinking. I also don't get upset if they offer me a drink... I just say "no thanks" and don't assume they're trying to pressure me.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    I go to clubs/bars regularly as I photograph bands. I don't drink when I'm photographing and I don't drink if I have to drive myself to the bar, it has nothing to do with wanting to lose weight, I stopped drinking regularly about 10 years ago. If I'm offered a drink I say "no thanks" and people accept that. I drink on VERY rare occasions when I'm at home with friends or someone else is driving and I don't have to drive anywhere.

    None of my friends get upset if I'm not drinking. If people are pushing alcohol on you maybe they're not such great friends. It's ok to be mature enough to have a good time without alcohol! :laugh:


    Edited to add: I agree with the person who said if you're NOT an alcoholic, you shouldn't tell people you are. Just be honest with your friends. I have two friends who are recovering alcoholics and it's not something to joke about.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I'd stay away from the answers that seem judgy. I'm doing it for "health," "DUI," etc. It kind of implies that you can't drink and not have these problems. And you can. It also might put people more on edge. If they're already on it, this isn't good.

    I'd also stay away from lying.

    I'd tell them that it doesn't fit into your calories.

    For me, some alcohols, I don't like the taste of. Some make me sick.

    And if the people don't like it, don't spend time with them again. Not only can they decide not to spend time with you, when you know alcohol might be involved and you don't want it, if they're going to be pushy, you can make the decision to stay away from them. People worth being around respect your choices.
  • RobinME
    RobinME Posts: 25 Member
    I completely agree! I get the same thing all the time. I don't drink period, but yet people are always trying to push it on me. And food too. What's up with that?!
    I feel your pain.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    For the same reason that people who don't drink get all judgemental about people who do. They are judgemental pricks and probably feel guilty about their own consumption so it makes them feel better to single out your lack of consumption. And my attitude is who the hell cares!

    Nope. You have it wrong. They are happy friendly people that want you to join in on the fun. Same thing, but different way to look at it. People are not judgemental pricks. They are just people. It usually more simple than what you are making it. Look at the lighter more positive side of it.

    Sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree. Working in the bar business for 20+ years, I have seen enough of this to be able to make an educated hypothesis that the people who are singling out the non-drinker are almost always the same people who drink well past excess. They do not want you to join the fun: they are uncomfortable with your sobriety because it highlights their own drunken stupidity and magnifies their own feelings of guilt or shame. Otherwise, they would either not care and not say anything, or they would ask once and drop it. I have plenty of friends who don't drink, and I could give a rat's pattotie. It is their decision to not do, as it is mine to do so. Perhaps some may think I am cynical, but my opinion is based purely on my observations of human behavior.
  • icimani
    icimani Posts: 1,454 Member
    It never ceases to amaze me that people think you have to drink alcohol to have a good time.
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
    I am much younger than all my friends and they all started drinking way before I did. That being said, I come from a family with a history of alcoholism and I had my own problems with addictions and knew better than to start something I couldn't stop. I didn't drink a drop of alcohol until after I had turned 21. I got so much crap all the time about it from kids who were drinking, my friends who were already 21 and had been drinking since 16...my cousin, you name it.
    Now, as an almost 22 year old, I drink rarely, and sparingly. I waited until I knew I could handle it mentally and it's ok. I'll go out sometimes and not drink a drop but no one cares anymore now that we're older.
  • Marmitegeoff
    Marmitegeoff Posts: 373 Member
    I get this too. I've started to resort to saying really loudly "I'm a recovering alcoholic" shuts them up and gives me a little giggle in the process.

    LOL
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    I am someone who has NEVER drank alcohol. I personally choose not to, though, because I know I have an addictive personality. And, I would rather concentrate on my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ. I choose to be better safe than sorry. Plus, I have personally seen what kind of damage it can do to a family and especially to innocent children. I'm not sure why people get upset when I won't drink with them. It dumbfounds me. I have been called all sorts of names because I refuse to drink. Though, I will not try to stop anyone else from drinking if they so choose.

    When I turned 21, one of my "best friends" tried to get me to drink. She hit the ceiling when I refused. She literally would not give up on trying to get me to for several months. I finally told her that if she did not give up on her quest to get me to drink, she would lose a friend. She finally gave up.

    I also refuse to work anywhere where I would have to serve it. I've gotten a few crazy looks for that too... but, again, it's just a personal choice of mine.
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
    Join the Mormon Church.. They will never ask, as none of them ever drink alcohol. If you are bothered by the things that people say to you when they are drinking... Then don't hang out with people who drink.

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