Upset people because you DONT drink alcohol

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  • tdhighfill
    tdhighfill Posts: 200 Member
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    For the same reason that people feel like you should eat like a pig at Thanksgiving. If everyone else is doing it, then they dont like a few people not doing it, its group think. They need to validate that what they are doing is ok because after all, everyone is doing it. So its the same with booze. Nobody wants a teetotaler hanging out with them if they want to have more than a few. It makes them look bad. I dont drink, and I dont care what anyone thinks. If they dont like it then they can find a new friend. They should be glad at least someone can drive.

    well said. I don't drink much. Never liked it. My true friends are super happy about this because they have a driver. :) When I go to an event that creates this kind of situation - I "fake drink"....I ask the bartender for a water in or seltzer a tall glass with a lime wedge. You also have to mention to the other people you want to keep your tab separate "to make it simplier". "Fake drinking" has worked for me for over 25 years.

    **ha ha ha*** just realized my current profile pic has me holding a wine glass....fyi - "fake" drink. That is diet coke.
  • Zangpakto
    Zangpakto Posts: 336 Member
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    I'm 33 and I've never had one drop of alcohol. I get this A LOT! People will always say the same thing, "you don't drink, like, ever?". Like it is some unchartered territory. My opinion as to why people make such a big deal out of it is because they feel ashamed/embarrassed of their own drinking. They know they are partaking a little too much and they are envious of you and your will power. They wish they had the same. And they think that people that aren't drinking are judging them. Again, just a reaction becasue they feel insecure about their drinking. That's my opinion anyways...

    Not quoting on you to pick on you, but you said something that is stupid...

    No, while the occasional person will care, many who drink do not.

    Envious? Seriously? Get off your damn high horse... Why would I be envious? Will power? I've almost killed myself pushing myself to the limit in a cycling and running race that medics didn't know how I was walking after alive.... So no, will power is NOT the issue...

    Sure I can feel embarrassed... that about it, ashamed? I do it to myself, if I didn't want to then I wouldn't, so why feel ashamed for something I WANT to do?

    Yes, I judge people like you, because yes, you do seem to have an holier than thou attitude.

    Again, not direct AT you exactly, but towards you and people like you with those views.
  • kimcalica
    kimcalica Posts: 524 Member
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    i don't think anyone is truly at peace with their "guilty pleasures" weather it be drinking, drugs, foods that are obviously not good for us.. i'm not even going into the dark sexual stuff.... anyway, we're getting into behavioral psychology here, and it's not a very easy subject to delve into.. for many, it takes years and years to understand. we can't just assume things about each other.. every person is a single entity that views the world in their own separate way. arguing over which one of us has the most peace within ourselves.. or who is a fascist and who isn't.. it's just going to exhaust you. just enjoy your life with as much contentment as you can muster. Your life so far, has given you the perception you have of everything. that's what makes us all different. What's important is that we can have peace with the things we do.. weather it's bad or good.. if we think it's ok.. or not ok.. do it or don't do it.. but remember that, i guess, before judging others.. and reacting to what we think, is others judging us.
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I don't usually drink because I'm a light weight, and don't like the taste of liquor (most mixed drinks). Beer is fine, but most bars don't have the beers I do like.

    Just thought of something to say to people who pressure others to drink...just replace the word 'drink' with 'smoke',
    "why don't you smoke?"
    "I don't like it"
    "oh c'mon! everybody likes to smoke!"
    "no, I'm okay, really"
    "just one, it won't kill you!"

    same conversation, right?
  • pucenavel
    pucenavel Posts: 972 Member
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    I don't usually drink because I'm a light weight, and don't like the taste of liquor (most mixed drinks). Beer is fine, but most bars don't have the beers I do like.

    Just thought of something to say to people who pressure others to drink...just replace the word 'drink' with 'smoke',
    "why don't you smoke?"
    "I don't like it"
    "oh c'mon! everybody likes to smoke!"
    "no, I'm okay, really"
    "just one, it won't kill you!"

    same conversation, right?

    Good one.

    I have done this same comparison except with heroin. Why is it OK in our society to "unwind with alcohol" but it's taboo to put yourself in a euphoric state with narcotics? They are both drugs, they are both additive. Granted, narcotics are generally MORE addictive than alcohol, but for some people, alcohol is no less addictive.

    "Wow, Rough Week!"
    "Yea, let's go smoke some crack!"
    "Party on, Garth!"

    My answer when someone goes beyond me replying with "No thanks" is to tell them that I really would rather not go back to rehab (as a patient that is).
  • tubbyelmo
    tubbyelmo Posts: 415 Member
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    I'm tea-total, and I used to get all the comments, I now volunteer to be the designated driver, but my friends all know my rule, just one comment about having just one drink and they are walking home!!!
  • Illona88
    Illona88 Posts: 903 Member
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    I don't drink because it doesn't mix well with a mental illness I have.
    My closest friends know this, so they don't even ask anymore. It's become normal to them.

    I am a University student, so I do get harassed about it by other students a lot. They just try to peer pressure me into drinking.
    I have now come to the stage where if people try to pressure me into drinking, after I have said that I don't drink, I just leave.
    I don't want to be friends with people like that, so **** 'em.
  • MonicaW1988
    MonicaW1988 Posts: 23 Member
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    Personally for me its about a healthier lifestyle... just because I don't drink that night doesn't mean I can't have a good time (sure I may not be on a buzz like others) you see I was constantly having more than one cider (with ALOT of calories in it - even the low carb ciders) and then after that binge eating on **** and then waking up feeling so crap for it (always doing this every weekend whether I was home or socially out) I guess I just don't always want to rely on alcohol to make me feel better.... or worse be dependant on it (cause thats when things can get messy depending on the situation) and then because I binged eat on junk along with all the calories in the alcohol I would put on weight instantly... unfortunately I am not one of those people who can eat and drink whatever they desire and not put on any weight.... in an ideal world I'd love to be that way but this is my life in this world and the decisions I make impact me and thats ok if others wanna drink but thats also ok if I don't want to drink.

    Bottom line: You do what is right for you, you make the decisions and if others still don't approve then thats their problem... never feel like you have to do something you don't want to - it's your life.
  • divalivious
    divalivious Posts: 213 Member
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    Think its just a society thing. No one believes anyone can have fun not drinking when socializing. All the ads etc tell us to be a fun individual ~ drink!. So your friends are just wanting to see you have fun in a weird, twisted, messed up way. They probably arent even conscious of it. If your friends are use to you drinking it will take them a bit to get use to you not drinking. Also when the alcohol gets flowing they will ask/push as they seem to have a tendency to forget with each drink.

    I rarely drink maybe 2x a year and its 1-2 drinks. Yup hard partier! I grew up in a family that didnt drink much either only on special occasions. My mom never drank actually. Where my inlaws are wine connoisseurs and enjoy having a few drinks when they get together. They just cant grasp my no drinking thing. Constantly get your just having water? As they do a roll call of the liquor cabinet, coffee and tea on house. Its been 10 years and still get the same question. My sil has no clue how I can walk this earth not drinking coffee let alone alcohol.
  • Sharon009
    Sharon009 Posts: 327 Member
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    Just to respond to some comments on here:

    I was at a restaurant/sports bar to watch the Bucs game, not at a club and there was no dance floor. It was a restaurant with a bar, just like Bennigan's.
    I was with a group of friends and people I just met, my friends didnt comment on my soda because they know I drink alcohol, it was the new people who inquired as soon as I said 'diet coke please'.
    I do drink socially.
    I have never thought myself to comment on whether someone drinks alcohol or not so I'm wondering why other people do.
    I have noticed that it is the people who drink to excess that tend to comment.
    I am 45 and the commenters are all ages so how old does one have to be before it stops?
  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
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    Just to respond to some comments on here:

    I was at a restaurant/sports bar to watch the Bucs game, not at a club and there was no dance floor. It was a restaurant with a bar, just like Bennigan's.
    I was with a group of friends and people I just met, my friends didnt comment on my soda because they know I drink alcohol, it was the new people who inquired as soon as I said 'diet coke please'.
    I do drink socially.
    I have never thought myself to comment on whether someone drinks alcohol or not so I'm wondering why other people do.
    I have noticed that it is the people who drink to excess that tend to comment.
    I am 45 and the commenters are all ages so how old does one have to be before it stops?

    well to get through a bucs game don't you need a few drinks :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Sharon009
    Sharon009 Posts: 327 Member
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    Just to respond to some comments on here:

    I was at a restaurant/sports bar to watch the Bucs game, not at a club and there was no dance floor. It was a restaurant with a bar, just like Bennigan's.
    I was with a group of friends and people I just met, my friends didnt comment on my soda because they know I drink alcohol, it was the new people who inquired as soon as I said 'diet coke please'.
    I do drink socially.
    I have never thought myself to comment on whether someone drinks alcohol or not so I'm wondering why other people do.
    I have noticed that it is the people who drink to excess that tend to comment.
    I am 45 and the commenters are all ages so how old does one have to be before it stops?



    well to get through a bucs game don't you need a few drinks :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    LOL!! That is true but thank goodness they won that time! It was a good game
  • uglydeuce
    uglydeuce Posts: 35 Member
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    Wow ok. Wow. I love how everyone on here who DOESN'T drink is saying "Oh, it's because they don't have self control and feel bad about themselves" or some other slightly insulting comment toward the drinkers. Having been both the drinker and the one not drinking, there's usually an obvious disparity between those drinking and those not. The sober person often seems uncomfortable or annoyed or even left out, and that makes the whole group a little uncomfortable and can put a bad tone on a good night. It has nothing to do with being judged for my lack of self-control; I certainly don't feel guilty or worthless for tipping a few back. I just don't like getting eyes rolled at me if I laugh a little too long at something. Sorry that I'm having fun.

    Reasons why I may ask someone if they're sure they don't want a drink:
    -Money can be tight in my friend group, and I'll pick up a drink or two for my friend if they actually want it
    -If there's a specific reason why they're not drinking, they may want to talk about it but aren't sure how to bring it up (medical issue, etc.)
    -They've obviously had a stressful day - one drink won't ruin a diet, but it will help you calm down a little

    That said, if they've stated they're fine with soda or they're not drinking for whatever reasons, I don't pressure them. I certainly leave people who flat out don't drink alone. On nights where I choose not to drink, I find the pressure coming from people who just want to make sure I'm having a good time, like the host of the party or a friend who knows I've had a bad week. It's easy to deflect. Offering someone a drink and hoping they accept is similar to offering someone a homemade cupcake - you want to share an experience with them and want them to enjoy themselves.

    ^^^ This!

    I've been pressured but its never because of "peer pressure" its always people wanting me to have a good time with them. My girlfriend is one of those people and its because it makes her body feel good and she really feels content and happy when she drinks. I'm not usually a drinker to begin with because I'm usually never in the mind frame where I won't annoy myself. Not to mention I only every feel it when I drink a LOT until I'm wasted. But I never take it personal - just people wanting me to have fun not realizing that I'm having fun in my own little world.
  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
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    Just to respond to some comments on here:

    I was at a restaurant/sports bar to watch the Bucs game, not at a club and there was no dance floor. It was a restaurant with a bar, just like Bennigan's.
    I was with a group of friends and people I just met, my friends didnt comment on my soda because they know I drink alcohol, it was the new people who inquired as soon as I said 'diet coke please'.
    I do drink socially.
    I have never thought myself to comment on whether someone drinks alcohol or not so I'm wondering why other people do.
    I have noticed that it is the people who drink to excess that tend to comment.
    I am 45 and the commenters are all ages so how old does one have to be before it stops?



    well to get through a bucs game don't you need a few drinks :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    LOL!! That is true but thank goodness they won that time! It was a good game

    I'm an Eagles fan, so I've been living with Agita since week one
  • carlee1212
    carlee1212 Posts: 33 Member
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    I think you will rarely find someone who is offended that you don't drink that doesn't have a drinking problem themselves. It really nothing to do with that you aren't drinking, and has a LOT to do with the fact that they can't stop.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    This is a great post that deserves summary. Interesting the gap between drinkers and non-drinkers. Right down to judging and name calling. So who is right ????? Most of you display some form of intolerance to drinking or not drinking. Is it any wonder the author of this post is upset. Lines are drawn, the drinkers are labelled, and the non-drinkers are labelled, so what prevails ?

    Remember folks...we are in a culture that holds freedoms in high regard...I really didn't see those freedoms respected in this post.

    At one time smokers were considered OK...now they are considered losers, trash or evil...WTF happened ????
  • midschool22
    midschool22 Posts: 1,267 Member
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    Most, if not all the people I meet are cool to me about not drinking. And if they were not, I would EFF with them until they got the point, I DON'T DRINK.
  • jamesbeckmann
    jamesbeckmann Posts: 4 Member
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    When I started getting into health and fitness last march, it took me a while to realize a few different things.

    1) I have little to no will power in certain environments.
    2) The friends I used to drink with would get upset because I was bettering myself while they weren't changing.
    3) It was time to move on and find new friends with shared interest.

    My best friend always says, "It's hard to soar like an eagle, when you fly around with dodo's"
  • gmctech
    gmctech Posts: 103 Member
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    Seriously? People make snide remarks about you not drinking? This one takes the cake... I drink and have friends that don't drink just because they don't like it or just don't want to and other friends that are recovering alcoholics and are sober... I would never think it odd that someone passes on a drink of alcohol and sure as heck would never make any mean remarks about their decision... This is honestly a new one for me.. Even though I do enjoy alcohol, I do pass on it from time to time and have never encountered this...
  • ShellBwell
    ShellBwell Posts: 2 Member
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    I have never been a drinker and I have gotten comments as well, it kind of makes me laugh but always surprised me as well,I never "GOT" why people would care one way or another. I always used to say....I don't need any alcohol to make me have a fun time, and in fact...if anything, it will lower my energy and fun - I think some people feel they need it to loosen up and have fun and they want you to as well.

    Just remember, It is about them and their issues and insecurities, not about you at all. I fall back on my favorite quote.... Be who you are, those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

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