I think he is cheating...

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  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member
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    Why would you NOT get tested? Seriously, if the trust isn't there, then there's not much left, just break up and save yourself the infections.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    if you are anything like you seem to be based on this description, i'd be running for the hills
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
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    Not good, dude. You've got more red flags than a signalman on a warship.

    thank god you don't work on a submarine.

    you'd be like "i hear a boat in the water... therefore it must be an enemy vessel trying to destroy us! FIRE!"

    nothing hear says cheating.

    1)some guys, whether any of us like it or not, send photos of their girlfriends to eachother... don't ask me to explain, but I've met a lot that do... and that's without their girlfriends permission... (1 more reason to not take naughty photos)
    2)not wanting someone on their phone is just an issue of privacy. I had snoopy parents and so now I don't like anyone ever touching my stuff.
    3)clearing browser history... maybe the dude is just looking at porn and doesn't want her to know?
  • littlemoron
    littlemoron Posts: 36 Member
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    I just think that if it's gotten to the point where you're stealing his phone while he sleeps to look for proof of his infidelity, and trying to find a way to hide a GPS device on his vehicle so you can track his whereabouts... maybe there are some trust issues you want to deal with? I can't say whether he's cheating or not, but it doesn't sound like a super healthy relationship. My best advice would be to find a relationships counsellor in your area and talk to them about how you're feeling. It may help put somethings in perspective.

    Good luck!
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Not good, dude. You've got more red flags than a signalman on a warship.

    thank god you don't work on a submarine.

    you'd be like "i hear a boat in the water... therefore it must be an enemy vessel trying to destroy us! FIRE!"

    nothing hear says cheating.

    1)some guys, whether any of us like it or not, send photos of their girlfriends to eachother... don't ask me to explain, but I've met a lot that do... and that's without their girlfriends permission... (1 more reason to not take naughty photos)
    2)not wanting someone on their phone is just an issue of privacy. I had snoopy parents and so now I don't like anyone ever touching my stuff.
    3)clearing browser history... maybe the dude is just looking at porn and doesn't want her to know?

    You may actually be right. We're only hearing one half of the story here and, now that you mention it, I have friends that send me pictures of naked chicks all the time; facebook, sms, email, etc.. I don't feel the need to hide it, but he could be embarrassed or she could be overly paranoid.
  • DrewMartGrawr
    DrewMartGrawr Posts: 23
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    I have trust issues myself, and for good reason. But that's another story...

    It's a hell of a predicament to be in. The suspected party can say all they want about how you have trust issues and are invading their privacy, and, while that may be true, it might very well be justified. This is a person that you want to be comfortable with without paranoia and distrust. You want to be wanted exclusively. It's a sad thing that that's often too much to ask.

    Your relationship with him seems to be heading south, no matter what happens. I'm not saying he is or isn't cheating, but suspicions are tough to slay. Whatever his reasons for being so protective, it's unhealthy for a relationship with someone who wants the reassurance you're looking for, and vice versa.

    I say find someone else, and lay it on the line that you want to be honest and, more importantly, *open* with each other.
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
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    I feel for yeah.............with a lot of these sort of posts...............my reply is usually.............just read what you wrote............seems to be the answer is already there. I got to say, if it's at the point where it is, considering GPS, ect............all of the above you stated.......it's over anyways..............it's just a matter of time, 2 weeks, 2 months, possibly 2 yrs.............but a relationship like this will not last, period. it isn't health, it isn't fair.

    Remember....................this is not your husband.............if it was................I could understand 100 times more you checking up on him and trying crazier things to figure out if he's cheating.................with marriage, there's a lot more at stake. It's a boyfriend, living together boyfriend at that...............so what, *kitten* happens, move along, there's plenty of guys that would be flattered for you to be able thumb through there phone.................and not while there sleeping. Try finding a guy that doesn't care if you happen to look through his phone...........he just might be secure.............and have nothing to hide.

    The best to you.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    If you can't trust him, it doesn't matter if he's cheating or not. Learn to trust him and respect his personal privacy, or let him go find someone who will. Being his girlfriend doesn't give you free license to practically stalk him.
  • AshleyChanel88
    AshleyChanel88 Posts: 8 Member
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  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
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    "1)some guys, whether any of us like it or not, send photos of their girlfriends to eachother... don't ask me to explain, but I've met a lot that do... and that's without their girlfriends permission... (1 more reason to not take naughty photos) "



    I just be out of the loop.............i definitely have never done this......(above quote)...............nor even considered it.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Are you two religious? You should start praying together. I would def pray about it & ask God to bring whatever he's doing to light so that you can move on don't let anyone think that you're crazy for going through his stuff we women know when somethings up. They say if you look for something you will find it...well I say it shouldn't be anything to find! If it continues I would call him out on it. Ask why are you so touchy w/ your phone are you hiding something? Smh men are so dumb... I wish you the best of luck w/ this...
    Mongo just pawn in game of life.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    And what exactly is wrong with being "touchy about people searching through your phone computer"?
    I would be beyond pissed if I found out someone was going through my personal stuff.
    Sounds like you have trust issues, and ignoring the possibility of cheating or not... sounds like he'd be better off without you if you continue to breech privacy.

    This.
  • martincsaint
    martincsaint Posts: 18
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    I would say that, as the trust in your relationship has totally gone, it's time to move on. Hit the road, Jack! :)

    Martin
  • Marc713
    Marc713 Posts: 328 Member
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    I dont understand how you can say there is no proof. I know he would be very smart to cover his tracks so it would be hard to find anything.
    I have found
    - reply to personal ad
    - naked pics of a friends ex...which why would he keep that? even if they were sent from the guy himself
    - protective over computer history
    - protective over cellphone
    - my intuition is telling me somethings up.

    I just don't know how to go about really catching him red handed.

    None of those things are "proof", they are your suspicions and your gut feeling. You don't know the reason he has those pictures. Maybe his friend sent them to him to have an off site copy of them in case that girl deleted them off his PC. Maybe you aren't giving him the sex he needs and he's beating off to porn...that's USUALLY the reason guys are clammy when it comes to computer use/history. Yet the irony is, many women that ***** about men watching porn also read their smutty porn novels.

    Anyhow, you should breakup, as said above. If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship worth being in.
    I know guys like to cover up for other guys, so don't be offended if I take these sort of responses with little credibility.

    Well, we all know someone that has trust issues and over analyze a situation and come up with a crazy theory that isn't based in reality. What did the response to the craigslist ad even say? Are you sure he wasn't just trying to buy something normal or sell something? If it had anything damning in it you would already have enough reason to leave, so I'll just assume there was nothing legit in that old email either.
  • douglasmobbs
    douglasmobbs Posts: 563 Member
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    Have you thought about getting a private eye to follow him, alternatively I have heard that water boarding is quite effective when you want a confession.
  • katevarner
    katevarner Posts: 884 Member
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    So, what's he going to say when he searches your computer and finds this thread?

    If you are worried, either confront him about it and believe what he tells you or break up with him now. I'd choose the second option, because I don't think you would believe anything he said even if it were true. You have trust issues and so does he, apparently. End it now.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
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    I feel for yeah.............with a lot of these sort of posts...............my reply is usually.............just read what you wrote............seems to be the answer is already there. I got to say, if it's at the point where it is, considering GPS, ect............all of the above you stated.......it's over anyways..............it's just a matter of time, 2 weeks, 2 months, possibly 2 yrs.............but a relationship like this will not last, period. it isn't health, it isn't fair.

    Remember....................this is not your husband.............if it was................I could understand 100 times more you checking up on him and trying crazier things to figure out if he's cheating.................with marriage, there's a lot more at stake. It's a boyfriend, living together boyfriend at that...............so what, *kitten* happens, move along, there's plenty of guys that would be flattered for you to be able thumb through there phone.................and not while there sleeping. Try finding a guy that doesn't care if you happen to look through his phone...........he just might be secure.............and have nothing to hide.

    The best to you.

    slowclap.gif
  • biscuitwelsh
    biscuitwelsh Posts: 86 Member
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    Any advice on how to catch him? I have looked into getting a gps and hide it in the vehicle, but I have no idea where to even get one of those! (I'm in canada).

    I'm curious why catching him is important. Seems to be a pretty miserable way to live to me. In younger days, I was a hound, my wife is the only woman I've ever been faithful to and what I told her was this-- "if you ever think I'm cheating, I am."
  • groomchick
    groomchick Posts: 610 Member
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    Trust your gut sweetie... don't paint red flags white!! If your feelin it there's a reason why!
  • gooellie
    gooellie Posts: 39
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    Some thing I did to get my hands on his phone was purposefully let my phone does when we were going some where that we need GPS to find so he was driving and when he didn't hand it over it blew up in the big fight that I wanted and I needed to help me realize that everything is really happening

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