What's the meanest thing someone said to you?

Yesterday I was at a store browsing through racks of clothes. A store employee came up to me-- an old lady with a strong Hungarian accent-- and attempted to help me, unsolicited, by saying, "The plus sizes are over here, sweetheart," and then motioned in the direction of that department. I wasn't looking for plus size clothes. Seriously, if you work in retail, never, EVER assume you know someone's size by directing them to a specific department. It's not helpful-- it's just embarrassing. I can read signs. I know where the plus size department is. I don't need you to tell me. Ugh. Even my eight year old daughter said, "Mom, shouldn't she have just said 'is there anything I can help you with?'" LOL... yeah, a third grader GOT it.

A few years ago, while standing in line for a movie with my mom, she said to me, "you know, if you'd just lose 50 pounds, you could be engaged in no time. You're pretty enough for it." Again.... SERIOUSLY?! (I met my husband three months after she said that and married him last September. Thanks, mom.)

What about you? Has anyone ever said anything flat out mean to you regarding your weight, or perhaps tried to be helpful but ended up overstepping a boundary?

Replies

stephyw2001

The speaking scales I bought said:

"one person at a time please"

I'm soooo sorry but I have to admit that cracked me up. I think in the store I would have done something like this: "hahahahahaha! ...... ohhhhhhhhh......."

JenniferSpindel

Not TO me, but about a friend of mine:

Apparently, because he hangs out with me, he's known around work as "The Pig Farmer"

*sigh*

And I have to look these people in the eyes everyday knowing they think that about me.

What makes me sad is seeing how many posts there are in this thread.....

sho3girl

What size are you?

I answered, "does it matter you still can't handle it"

love this !

BeeElMarvin

At my family reunion, where 90% of the family is morbidly obese:

"I liked you better when you were plus-sized".

texnurse

I was at work one day (nurse at a hospital) A co-worker and I were having a discussion about plastic surgery, I mentioned if I could ever afford plastic surgery I would get a tummy tuck, though I was just a little over weight my abdominal skin was stretched out bad from my 2 pregnancies and riddled with stretch marks. My co-worker didn't believe me, so we went into the med room and I briefly lifted my shirt to show her why, she was like whoa...that is bad. Then she proceeded to tell my boyfriend who worked on another unit that my stomach was DISGUSTING and how could he be with me? A few months later I had my tummy tuck, I was hurt, emotional, and felt truly disgusting after that comment. I went through several months of pain and recovery, was it worth it in the end? Yes, would I do it again? Probably, but I had to learn to love myself and not care what anyone else thinks. I may not be perfect to some, but to me I'm perfect. There are some really mean f*cked up people in this world, but I believe in Karma.

LATeagno

Remember this is coming from a 5'10" guy who weighed 320lbs.....If you are fat you are fat! I tell people i went from a fat pig to just fat and will soon be normal sized.`

All the crap fat people say, even me in the past, about being comfortable with their wieght, or this is who I am; know deep down they are kidding themselves.

The best thing my doctor said to me is you MUST lose some weight, you are way to heavy.

I am now down alomost 55 lbs and feel so much better.

If you don't like what people say then change your lifestyle to a more healthy one and lose the weight.

Well, considering I am here, that should tell you something. That's what I'm doing. I never said otherwise. That said...

I completely and TOTALLY agree. Mind you I'm talking about obese individuals (like me). I've tried acceptance, but no one is comfortable knowing their heart is a ticking time bomb or that they might not be able to fit into a seat comfortably at a restaurant. NO ONE wants that, I don't care how comfortable they are.

I do believe firmly in self love-- self love that says, "you know, I'm worth more than this. I love myself at 250, 300, 350, or whatever pounds... but I deserve better than this. I deserve a full life."

I mean, if you knew you had cancer, would you love yourself with it instead of treating it, knowing that it would eventually kill you? Of course not. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself, but TRUE self love is knowing that you deserve a better life.

Just my two cents.

theMrsisGonnagetFit

If you don't like what people say then change your lifestyle to a more healthy one and lose the weight.

^RUDE! Obviously this thread is on MFP because these people ARE trying to lose the weight, DUH! If you don't have a story to add or positive words of wisdom, STFU!!!

nata0x

When I was 12, some 18 year old guy asked me if I have to go out of my country to find pants my size, I wasn't even that fat, my BMI was over-weight at best!

"You're like the fatter version of _____"

And when people don't believe me (or laugh) when I say I don't like mcDonald's food.

bienemaya483

1. Put down the food, your face is starting to look like a balloon
( one of my teachers said this)
Proved her wrong

tellascott

I think about 6 months ago and the reason I started losing weight. Two separate people, k the first one..i had just quit smoking and my "friend" who is juts a brutally honest type and didn't mean to be hurtful at all, said now you will gain weight and since you are already so wide, it could be a lot. 2 days off ciggies and that's pretty hurtful. Then I was out with my Dad and this was not related to quitting at all, he just casually said you are just like your mother was, always fluctuating in your weight, but I prefer fat women so you're fine. Sigh. Thanks dad, I've been in denial for 5 years since Mom died...thanks SOOO Much for pointing out in a restaurant that I ma indeed a fatty.

Also on that note, things don't have to be said to be hurtful. I went to see my friends who hadn't seen me in about a year and a half or so...so i was at my worst then. I ahve lost say....35 pounds since that point. I was all proud, and they didn't say anything, so i tossed out a hint that I was fishing for a compliment and they said you've been dieting? You've lost wieght? Really?

Sigh. I guess at least i know they don't love me for my body huh?

willhare

One of the guys I played pick-up soccer with from time-to-time said, "What happened to you, man? Too many burgers and fries?" I hadn't played with him in a few months. My answer was and honest, "yes," but I definitely didn't see it coming. Haha. It motivated me, that's for sure…

LATeagno

If you don't like what people say then change your lifestyle to a more healthy one and lose the weight.

^RUDE! Obviously this thread is on MFP because these people ARE trying to lose the weight, DUH! If you don't have a story to add or positive words of wisdom, STFU!!!

I get what he's saying, but people keep misinterpreting what I am (and the rest of us) are saying as "woe is me," but it's not. It's healthy to talk about this and sometimes they don't get it.

skipperlk

My exhusband said, "I don't like being around you and our kid because you're fat and she has autism."...Yeah, as I said ex husband and our kid does not have autism she has a muscle disorder.

Lrdoflamancha

My fathers nightly lecture. The first line of which was "your digging your grave with your mouth" I don't remember any more, as soon as he said this I shut him off. This started in elementary school. In high school I played football and at the best physical condition of my life he told me "if you would just lose 5 more pounds". At this point I quit football and left the house forever as fast as I could.

stephyw2001

Recently, my biggest cut was this very website's BMI calculator. It said my BMI was 33 which is "Obese". Obese? ohhhhhh I thought I was just overweight. :-( boooooooo!

Anyway, I'm new here, and I'm really really impressed with the progress so many of you have made. You're all my heroes, keep up the great work! I'll get there too!.....hopefully! lol

ohmelgosh79

"You just look fat because your boobs are huge. If you cut those off you might atleast look a little skinnier" -a coworker
and

I was sitting at work one night, telling this girl about my duct taping methods when one of the cops that we work with looks at me and says "You don't run, you're too big".

Jellyphant

There's a funny quote in the video game Portal 2.. The robot named Glados says "if you want to upset a human, just say that their weight variance is above or below the norm"

Haaaaaaaa. I remember that!

x_ItNeverEnds_x

You'd be really pretty IF you lost some weight. *a friend to me*
Shutup, no one likes you because your fat and ugly. (6th grade)
My mom to my little sister "Your much thinner than her, she(me) has plumped up into womanhood."

TheFitHooker

Where do I begin???

When I was an over weight child about 10 years old, I went to sit down at the dinner table and my brothers made Earth quake jokes and my parents laughed. That's pretty hurtful for a child.

I have been told by guys who I had serious crushes on "You have a pretty face but I don't date fat chics".

After having my first child, I was home from the hospital maybe 3 weeks, my mother in law came to me and told me that my husband was not finding me attractive and I should workout. I just had a new baby and a c-section. My mother in law has made these remarks to me before this was not the only time, just the first time. She's told me I have to pretty of a face to be so fat. My kids are going to be embarrassed to be seen with me because no one wants a fat mommy. She didn't use the word fat but over weight. Let's call it what it was, obese.

Then right before I decided to really change for the better, my husband and I got into a huge fight. I told him I wanted to go see a weight loss doctor, I needed support in a way that no one else seems to get around me. He told me I didn't need support, I needed to get off my fat lazy *kitten* and just do something about it.

Back in 2010 when I was pregnant with my daughter, I lost 70 lbs due to Gestational Diabetes, my cousin told me that I was starving my baby, I could not be losing so much weight while pregnant that it was not healthy. She told me that my baby was too small and I was a horrible mother for doing such things to myself while pregnant. She said that she had never heard of losing weight while pregnant that she should call CPS on me because I was taking being fat out on my baby and making her suffer. All I know is she is lucky she was 1000's of miles away from me or she would have been the one I put serious damage on.

Was told by a few people that I'd gain all my weight back after pregnancy with my daughter. I gained 25.5 but have lost 75.5 since then. So who showed them???

I honestly would love to see the guys I use to crush on in high school now. I am not fat anymore, I'm actually ideal weight for my height, I still have 10lbs to go to hit my goal weight but I am not fat anymore.

HananYako30

All of my cuzin's family...cause they look like toothpick stick...they always say mean things to me.

aaeros

Two come to mind.

Playing softball 5 or 6 years ago, the team was coming up with nicknames for everyone that didn't already have one. Someone decided my nickname should be "Lump"..

More recently, I met my wife's dad for the first time. Understand he is a disabled vet and mentally not all there. But walking into his hospital to meet him for the first time, the first words out of his mouth were "Oh, a heavy set man..."

sylvuz323

I don't know if my boss realized what she was saying but I thought she was pretty rude. A few days ago she was wearing a dress that looked like a potato sack on her, not flattering at all. She lost weight with OptiFast (800 cals a day under Dr. supervision) and they were doing a photo shoot. I told her the dress she was wearing was too big. An hour later her sister comes around and tells her the same thing, dress is too big. My boss turns to me and offers to give me her dress...I was like huh? I wanted to say seriously you think that dress will fit me any better. I just said no not my style I like to accentuate my curves not bury them. I couldn't help but wonder do I look that much bigger than her now.

laughingdani

Not weight related...

My senior year of highschool, the last day of school before Spring Break.... My POS car breaks down on the way to school.
My little brother and I are stranded on the side of the road and have to walk home. Luckily we didn't have that far to walk.
I'm crying because well....my car is broke down and I had plans to spend the week at a beach house with 4 girl friends. This was my first Spring Break 'away' and I had been saving up money for this. I get home and I'm talking to my mom to try to figure out how I am going to tow my car and get to school that morning. She's getting dressed to go pick up her boyfriend from the bus stop. She dated A LOT back then. She pretty much tells me that I have to figure out how to tow my car because she has more important things to do. I start crying again...because this is my mom's typical reaction to everything, it's not HER problem. She stops, looks me in the eye and says, "You are the most selfish person I know!". Then she leaves. My boyfriend at the time towed my car for me and my girl friends let me ride along with them during Spring Break. Unfortunately, what my mom said has stuck with me ever since. Needless to say, my mom and I don't have the best relationship and a lot of things she's said has stuck. The funny thing is....I wasn't even a demanding child. I pretty much was self sufficient from 12 years old. Oh, her and the guy broke up that week. Go figure.

Weight related....

I can't really think of anything specific other than the random person asking me if I was pregnant when I was not. Or when people would say, "You have such a pretty face!". I did hear of family members talking behind my back about my weight and how I had let myself go. It hurt. But I got revenge in the best way!

flutternfly

"I liked you better when you were fat."

My cousin told me something similar nearly 20 years ago when I was at my thinnest. She wonders why I don't call her or want to hang out with her at Christmas, but I always make a point of seeing her sisters. She said "I like the fat you better than the skinny you." I think she was just jealous that I had friends and was having a fun life.

I had two 6 year old boys I teach at church earlier this year tell me I was fat as I was trying to point out to another kid that he wasn't fat--he's skinny. The one kid turned psycho and got right in my face, pointed his little finger and I said "You're fat" I thought the little freak's head was going to spin. I was so stunned, I wasn't sure what to say but I told him he was rude and that his actions were completely inappropriate. Not surprising, his mother is a twig and must get on the poor kid.

My family has said more than their fair share of mean things. My Grandpa used to ask how much I weighed and say all sorts of things about I'd look better if I lost weight. One Christmas, I had gained weight and wasn't sure I wanted to come home to be ridiculed by my Grandma. I told my Mom she better talk to her and tell her to keep her mouth shut about my weight gain. Grandma did really well until nearly the end, then she couldn't help herself by making some digs about what I was eating, etc. Ironically, they all had weight problems. I think family comments are the most hurtful and meanest.

rockyshrode

My grandma, very recently, put her arms around me and proudly said to her sister, "fat people have the best personalities."

Gram, love her with all my heart, is in her 90's and is suffering from age related dimentia + alzheimers. I of course forgive her because I know she said it with love in her heart, but damn that was embarassing. lol. Her sister, who's even older than she is, started sputtering & denying that I was overweight. This cut me to the bone on a number of levels: 1) The person who's always had my back in this life is losing herself; 2) I'm the fattest person in our family, and it's not excaping anyone's notice.

Otherwise I haven't had a ton of experience with jabs about my weight (outside of my dad's "you're beautiful for a big girl" or "we could all stand to lose a few pounds" observations) -- I've always gone on the defensive with people, exuding a "don't *kitten* with me about my weight" vibe.

BIRT1956

When I was 15 years old my Mom told me go back inside the house and change out of my shorts and "cover those fat legs". I was 5' 8" tall and weighed probably 115 lbs sopping wet. I'm 56 years old now and never forget how that stung.

blissfulself

so sorry to hear that so many people have had horrible things said to them by their mothers and parents

that breaks my heart. i hope you all can someday realize your worth

pascale485

So many to choose from:

My great grand mother once told me I looked disproportionnated because I was too fat and I had too much boobs!

Random person at a buffet: Look at the fat girl, she has two plates, no wonder she is fat- -one plate was for me and the other for my NIECE!

My new boss: You would be super sexy if you lost some of that stomach and that fat *kitten*! - GEEZZ ! Thanks! 0_o

New boss again- I was going wedding dress shopping: Do they make wedding dress in your size?? Careful not to break one, since your probably going to be very tight in there!
(After a long talk about how I don't want his opinion on my weight and that he was mean and rude, he apologized and now doesn't mention my weight)

MelisRunning

Right after my daughter was born (25 yrs ago!) a "friend" took one look at her and said, "She has your husband's temperament, what a blessing.".

JeanetDK

My aunt telling me that I would definitely qualify for gastric bypass. In Denmark you have to have a BMI of 50 or more to get one (Unless you pay the whole thing yourself) and at that time I was at least 50 lbs away from having a BMI of 50. She had the surgery herself a few years back, lost a ton of weight and is now slowly gaining the whole back because she couldn't be bothered with eating right and exercise is walking from the couch to the fridge.