I need a good comeback! Tired of being made fun of...

RavenBeauty87
RavenBeauty87 Posts: 83 Member
Tell me if this is too mean. I've been a vegetarian for 17 years now. I don't rub it in peoples faces and I try to hide that fact for as long as I can. I've heard every joke and every stupid comment of “You don't eat meat? Do you eat chicken? What about turkey? What do you eat then” ::sigh:: I even get this “Jesus ate fish. So if he was giving you a piece of fish you wouldn't eat it?” If Jesus was standing in front of me I would probably pass out and not give a damn about the fish lol.

With the holidays coming up I get the “Desarae do you want some Ham? Oh, sorry forgot you were a vegetarian.” Then everyone in the room chimes in and starts talking about it. Then the adults make jokes and puts the meat in front of me and starts making animal sounds. It's very disrespectful to me and I'm sick of it. I planned on doing a facebook post that says “I'm totally looking forward to the holiday dinners. That way I can hear the same comments I hear every year. 'You're a vegetarian? You know God put these animals on earth for us to eat. Here is a roll, you can eat that right? Do you want some cheese? Here is some stuffing, it has turkey in it but you can just pick it out. We have some lettuce.' It never gets old.” If you feel like that is too harsh then tell me or suggest something else I can say. My family and my husbands family always says things like that to me and I'm sick of it. I just want to sit down and enjoy my meal and not have to defend myself like I do every holiday or any other big meal that goes on.

My husband said “They are just going to say it now to piss you off.” Did they not realize that it pissed me off before? I plan on, when they make these comments, to not even give them a response because I'm sick of defending myself over something I've been doing for most of my life! Get over it people it doesn't effect you!
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Replies

  • RavenBeauty87
    RavenBeauty87 Posts: 83 Member
    ::bump::
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
    Wow that is really disrespectful of your family and friends. Have you told them how much it bothers you? If so and they keep doing it stop going. They may think they are just teasing you but it sounds kinda like bullying.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    I have the opposite problem. I get made fun of for eating undercooked meat, but it usually turns out the same way; people making animal sounds. I just eat like an animal and don't worry about it. After a long day of smelling dinner cooking and going to the gym all week I'm just too hungry to care.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
    I'd throw out some of the studies from vegan authors summing up how eating animal protein is unhealthy.

    May tick them off into shutting up.
  • SageGoddess320
    SageGoddess320 Posts: 2,589 Member
    Release the "crazy". That will shut them up.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    You put whatever you want in your mouth. It is none of their business!
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    I'd go to the store, buy the fixings for a truly epic brownie sundae, and make it for dinner. Then when people tried to eat some, tell them to piss off and eat it yourself.
  • Christineab
    Christineab Posts: 28 Member
    Why don't you just be honest with them...."I know you don't understand why I'm vegetarian and probably never will. It hurts my feelings when questioned about it constantly so can we go this year without the comments?"
  • Nicely tell them how you feel. I would not post anything on FB. I would talk directly to those saying the comments. It should be handled in a kind way though. Being hateful or flying off the handle will not help your cause. Hopefully they will see things differently after that.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    being a vegan, you reduce your risk of cancers by 40%. It increases your chance of surviving cancer.
    Of anything that has persuaded me to become a vegan, this is it. I wish I could find the medical lecture on veganism!!

    :(
  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
    Host Thanksgiving dinner at your house and don't serve any meat! Or how bad would it be if you just don't show up?
  • AdrieneJ
    AdrieneJ Posts: 141 Member
    I would get up and say, "I am leaving this table and I am not coming back until I get an apology for that rude remark." Sometimes, you need to treat people like the children they are behaving like. It'll be enough of a shock for them, but at least you have told them how you feel and have given them a task to fix it: apologize.
  • watermlnlady
    watermlnlady Posts: 5 Member
    I've never been exactly where you are, but I've been losing weight for years (my ticker doesn't show the 75 lbs pre-MFP), and I always get the "can you eat that?" Which my response was to stab it with a fork, put it in my mouth, and then say "yeah, seems so" ... lol

    In your instance, I think I'd say "You worry about what's on your plate, I'll worry about mine. If you'd like to continue this conversation, let's step outside." This equates to STFU. Should work. lol If someone asks you to step outside, then release the crazy. In the end, they are family and we can't change that (but neither can they!). :)
  • cdpark617
    cdpark617 Posts: 316 Member
    The Jerk Store called, they want you back.
  • Maybe next time you have a family gathering, eat something before you go and then when mealtime comes around, let everyone go sit at the table and eat, and you go sit by yourself in the other room. When they ask you what's wrong, tell them you have decided that it's not worth enduring their mean comments at the dinner table and as long as they continue to make hurtful comments to you, you will continue to not break bread with them. Maybe they will take the hint.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    bring gruesome photos of slaughterhouses with you and leave them on the dinner table before meal time. that will shut them up. or, what everyone else said...**** off. i hate that ****, i too am a vegetarian (not as long as you, only 10 years) and i ****ing hate when people are like you don't eat me? what do you eat? i eat food, dumbass.
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    WOW. That's so sh1tty. I'm sorry. :frown: If it makes you feel any better, I think people get similar grief for any healthy eating they try to do.
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
    We all get anxious over holiday dinners. Seeing people we never talk to, trying to be nice, wondering what your crazy uncle is going to blurt out and embarrass you with.

    I would take the direct approach instead of being passive aggressive.
    It's not the fun option and it takes some guts but I believe your family, extended and otherwise, will ultimately respect you and your decisions to be a vegetarian more.

    Wait for them to chime it, don't do it ahead of time because that will just make it seem like you've been stewing about this all year.
    When they do, say something such as "I'm sorry but I don't find your remarks funny. In fact, they're insulting. There's not need to make fun" Then just drop it and enjoy your meal.

    If you need to bring your own food and prepare with them, do that. Better yet offer to make a whole dish for the dinner so they can understand that eating vegetarian can be sooo yummy too!
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Assault them inappropriately with a carrot.
  • zaithyr
    zaithyr Posts: 482 Member
    How awful! :( Don't hesitate to stick up for yourself though! Try to do it respectfully, but if they don't back off, then sometimes you have to lay down the law. They probably think they are just being funny and good-natured and don't realize how much it hurts your feelings. There are a lot worse things that being a vegetarian and making fun of you for it is ridiculous! I wear skirts and don't cut my hair and I used to be teased a lot for it by certain family members but after a while they finally got the picture that this is who I am and I'm not changing it and they backed off. Hold your head up high and eat those veggies! :)
  • LynnieG85
    LynnieG85 Posts: 157 Member
    If Jesus was standing in front of me I would probably pass out and not give a damn about the fish lol.

    This gave me a good giggle :) I'm not a vegetarian, but I couldn't give a *kitten* if others are. Each to their own, it's none of my business. Tell them to take a flying *kitten* to themselves.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
    bring gruesome photos of slaughterhouses with you and leave them on the dinner table before meal time. that will shut them up. or, what everyone else said...**** off. i hate that ****, i too am a vegetarian (not as long as you, only 10 years) and i ****ing hate when people are like you don't eat me? what do you eat? i eat food, dumbass.

    Yeah, I clean and eat lots wild game and fish...that wouldn't phase me...
  • darisey
    darisey Posts: 228 Member
    Nicely tell them how you feel. I would not post anything on FB. I would talk directly to those saying the comments. It should be handled in a kind way though. Being hateful or flying off the handle will not help your cause. Hopefully they will see things differently after that.

    I second this. Posting on fb about it seems just as immature as their comments.
    Just tell them that you feel disrespected by their comments and you would rather them try to think of something else to discuss.
  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 376 Member
    I'd be a smart*ss and preprint some handouts that answer all the FAQs. Rather than answer someone's question for the 19th time, just hand them a flyer and smile :)
  • I think from what you wrote you are probably from a religious family, am I right?
    I say, beat them at their own game. (Not being religious myself, I googled around a bit.)

    How about Colossians 2:16:
    Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath.

    There's tons more at http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081015012009AAJkUug for example.
  • m60kaf
    m60kaf Posts: 421 Member
    Say absolutely nothing. Neither defend nor justify, it shows weakness.

    Just say 'no thanks' as if you were turning down a glass of water

    People resort to type in family situations. Don't get drawn into it
  • mommycharlie
    mommycharlie Posts: 39 Member
    Wow that is really disrespectful of your family and friends. Have you told them how much it bothers you? If so and they keep doing it stop going. They may think they are just teasing you but it sounds kinda like bullying.


    ^^^this^^^
    Totally agree. If after being asked to stop and yet they continue, don't go. Have a pleasant, relaxing night in. They may or may not get it but you will keep your mind free from all of their disrespectful comments.
  • jeanholly
    jeanholly Posts: 12 Member
    Release the "crazy". That will shut them up.


    always works for me!
  • itsmyvwbeetle
    itsmyvwbeetle Posts: 272 Member
    I would probably do a little pre-Thanksgiving preparation. I would send out a message (email, text, facebook) to all of those who constantly offend you and say that you have not enjoyed Thanksgiving in the past due to the constant remarks and realize we are all different and have different lifestyles and you respect them and hope they can make this a great Thanksgiving for you as well by respecting you.