I need a good comeback! Tired of being made fun of...

BeSophisticate

If you want to change someone else's behaviour then the person to start with is yourself. This is a repeating family scenario and everyone is repeating the 'same old, same old' roles within it. As it is obviously causing you distress then it is indeed time to break that particular merry-go-round (or carousel as you're American) and you do that by changing the dynamic, so that the outcome changes.

A good book to read is called 'Hot Buttons' (How to resolve conflict and cool everyone down- by Evans and Cohen - costs $14 on Amazon) - it explains about how you can identify what it is that triggers you off, and how you perpetuate the dynamic by the way you react. If you react differently then the dynamic changes. It has lots of great suggestions about how to handle this successfully.

I used to have constant arguments with my mum - she'd say something, I'd take offence, I'd snip back at her and she'd then say something else and it escalated into an argument, which invariably ended up by me losing my temper and walking out. Happened that way for 20 years.

Using the techniques I learned in the book, next time she made a comment, I saw that she'd pushed a button that normally started an argument, but this time I didn't rise to the bait - I just laughed it off with 'Oh you're not going to raise that old chestnut again, haven't we done that to death? LOL' - and I instead introduced a different topic and the conversation went off in a different direction. Change the dynamic = change the outcome.

The key point to realise is that YOU are the one with the issue here. YOU are the one who gets upset with people mentioning that you are a vegetarian. If you don't let yourself get upset then they can talk to you about it until they are blue in the face and it wouldn't make a difference. The problem is that it pushes your Hot Button and sends you off into defensive mode. If you didn't rise to the bait then they'd soon lose interest. So the person you need to change is yourself - change how you think, and change how you handle yourself when someone attacks your beliefs. That way you can change the outcome.

I hope that the book helps. It helped me. Best of luck!

^^ This is the answer.

Most other suggestions so far either recommend you get preachy, which will only net you this response: :yawn: , or they suggest you become passive-aggressive in true infantile form, which will net this response: :huh: .

Following these suggestions would be a shame because they wouldn't solve the problem, they would make you an even easier target, and your family members might die of eye-rolling seizures.

RavenBeauty87

I never go over and say things like that. Family has taken me out to BBQ places and I never spoke up because I knew everyone wanted to eat there. I just said I would eat later. I understand why people get mad but I'm sorry I'm not going to start eating meat because that is all that is there. I never expect someone to go out of there way. I just get sick of looking at the food and them pointing to bread and saying "You can have that it doesn't have meat in it." uhhhh really by you saying that I feel like my IQ went down.

HypersonicFitNess

I would go with the book of Daniel where he refused to eat the food of the Philistines in the King's house and was healthier because of it. Jesus ate food that was per the laws of Leviticus. The meat you are serving was feed hormones and other animals, it is unhealthy for anyone to consume.

I would not go back to their house to eat, b/c that is horribly rude and uncouth to criticize and make fun a guest b/c of something they do or don't eat. You could always arrive after they eat and decline all food.

ChefTJP

I'd go to the store, buy the fixings for a truly epic brownie sundae, and make it for dinner. Then when people tried to eat some, tell them to piss off and eat it yourself.

love it!!!!!

clydethecat

i didnt read all the responses, but my go to comeback is to laugh with them.

when they start making fun, jsut say "yep i'm a crazy vegan, but at least i'll llive longer than you" smile and laugh and they should laugh with you.

theres no need to confront people who just think they're poking fun. laughing with them is the best comeback. make jokes about it, think of something funny you can say about you're being vegan, beat them to the punch.

the more you laugh with them the more the sting comes out of the remark. and laughter is the best medicine

aliann30

(so I think I first need to clarify that my comment about listing how a turkey is slaughtered was honestly not a real suggestion, just thought it's funny to think about the reactions)

I DO however think that maybe you could look at it this way: If I had prepared a whole turkey dinner and everyone was all together having a nice holiday, I personally might be a little uncomfortable if I knew someone couldn't eat the food. My family, to break that awkwardness, would joke about it. Maybe that's what they're doing? Maybe it's awkward for THEM because they feel bad for their own choices, or bad that you can't "enjoy" what they are enjoying (in their minds). So maybe, that's how they're dealing with it, to make it a big joke. I mean honestly, my family typically makes WAY too much food for Thanksgiving, and EATS too much too, so for one person at the table to only have green beans on her plate would definitely be obvious and a point of discussion (in MY family). People don't have the same convictions, and so not everyone's going to understand yours and come from the same place.

Maybe fix a few dishes (that are DELICIOUS) that you can bring and share? Maybe put a more positive spin on it, especially if your family can try the dishes and like them and see that your diet is not the self-depriving predicament that they supposed.

RavenBeauty87

I've been doing the laugh with them approach for years.... yaaa made it worse cause now his and my family think it is even funnier.... oh, I have what I'm going to say and now I'm excited for the holidays

Humbugsftw

It's the opposite for me: my family are all vegetarian (they're Hindus) and I am an Atheist non-vegetarian, and have been for a fair few years. They'd always mock me, or look at disgust at what I was eating. If they make comments, I tell them to mind their business and let me eat what I want to eat and they can eat what they want to eat.

Stacivogue

You could just tell them in graphic detail, with a powerpoint slide presentation, of how the turkey got to their table.

mfoutch86

I agree with most that posting on facebook isn't the way to go. And would stear clear of all the "facts" about the health benefits of being a vegan/vegetarian, because really, you can eat healthy, and unhealthy with any diet. Also, it might just make you sound nutty. My best friend is a vegetarian and her hubby is a vegan. They are both very gracious when offered something they don't eat. It is usually a simple " no thank you" . If really pressed, she usally just says she chooses to not eat meat, and doesn't respond any further. I think most of the teasing stems from a misunderstanding. When people doesn't understand things, they tend to ridicule it, to make themselves feel better about their ignorance.

Also, something to be thankful for this holiday season- that we live in a society that we have the luxury to choose our diets and lifestyles. Not all are so lucky. We have an abundance of fresh delish foods in all forms. While sometimes it can be frustrating to be judged for our choices, at least we have them available. Imagine if we didn't have enough food to survive, let alone enough food to pass up in order to support a self imposed diet. That seems a whole lot worse than a few snickers at the dinner table.

Init_to_winit

The Jerk Store called, they want you back.

I believe the line is "The Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you!"

---classic Costanza

Cylinda30

Release the "crazy". That will shut them up.

love it :laugh:

barb1241

This. Can you say, "Pardon me ***hole, your ignorance is sticking out all over the place!"?

Sorry, but good grief. You shouldn't have to justify it to ANYONE. I am not a vegeterian. It is irrelevant. You eat what you want and it is only YOUR business.

Barb

Cylinda30

Release the "crazy". That will shut them up.

love it :laugh:

Rhia55

Here's my response: "You decide to eat meat. I decide not to. If you decide to go jump off a nearby bridge I'll totally support you in that decision too."

BSchoberg

If your family asks if you'd like some ham, just say YES - let them fill up a plate to overflowing and put the plate aside. Eat only what you want, don't even comment. If you've been a vegetarian for this long and they are still acting like *kitten*, let them.

tarajoneill

You should print out some really graphic photos of what really happens to the poor animals in a slaughter house. Then after the see them, then say 'enjoy your meal!'

Velum_cado

I'd just smile and say, "I'm not being judgemental of your diet, please don't be judgemental of mine." And change the subject.

chubbygirl253

Then the adults make jokes and puts the meat in front of me and starts making animal sounds.

the adults do this? what do the kids do, wear pig snouts and chase you with ham? sounds like a mature bunch.

I suppose I would deal with them one on one. talking to them as a badly behaving group will likely prove ineffective. talk to mom and explain that it bothers you. explain how you would like her to help deflect this conversation if it comes up. then talk to aunt sally and do the same. if several key players are trying to avoid the topic altogether and changing the subject it will probably die down. I suspect they think its funny. If you explain to them ahead of time that you don't think they are laughing WITH you, but feel as though they are laughing AT you and you're tired of being made fun of at mealtime, that should help. If not, I would skip the family dinner.

my twin has been a vegetarian for over 20 yrs now but I'll never forget the 1st Thanksgiving since she stopped eating meat. It was a major meltdown at the time but hilarious looking back. sis refusing to eat almost anything because our southerm mama uses meat dripping in practically everything. mama getting mad and putting a ginormous turkey leg on her plate and telling her to sit down and eat right now! sis storming off and spending Thanksgiving alone in her room. (we were 14) oh, fun times.

FlaxMilk

I'd go to the store, buy the fixings for a truly epic brownie sundae, and make it for dinner. Then when people tried to eat some, tell them to piss off and eat it yourself.

I stopped reading here, because this is the clear winner.

I bring my own food and bring food I really love. People don't harass me (for the most part) because they know I refuse to "eat around" the meat or "pick it out." They also know I am not sacrificing and really love the way I eat, so there isn't any fun in bugging me.

But I really love the idea of bringing some decadent, delicious meal. But I'd share it, because the best way to show that vegetarians can eat "normally" is to demonstrate just how much variety we can eat and how good it really tastes.

Jain

I had this problem, just not to the same degree, many years ago when I turned veggie. I got so sick of the comments I finaly got a t/shirt printed saying 'Yes I'm a veggie, if it had a face I don't eat it.' Along with cartoon pics of all the usually animals crossed out. It kinda worked, but the jerks were still jerks.:grumble:

Hourglass_Lass

I'd just look at them, smile and say, "Hey you never know! When YOU grow up, you might choose to be a vegan/vegetarian too!" And then carry on. Water off a duck's butt and all that. You can't buy class.

creech6317

I would go onto the PETA website. Print up some pics of turkey farms and any of the other farms of the meats that is going to be served at the meal. When they start to give you grief, just plop the pages on the table and tell them that is part of the reason you don't eat meat.
I am sure that would shut them up.

Eavie0513

Just pack a meal and enjoy the fellowship with your family, take enough for everyone but don't worry about what they say about your lifestyle choices. If it were not for the noble pig, I would probably be vegan too ^^. I do however have a vegan nephew and I keep utensils and a couple of plates, bowls and pans in a plastic tub stored downstairs for when he comes over and I make sure I make him a delicious lentil casserole, bean dip, babbaganoosh <sp> etc. Some people are just plain closed minded and there is nothing you can do about it.

OHH I got it, make them some black bean burgers and say Once you go black...

Brandiberry77

You could just tell them in graphic detail, with a powerpoint slide presentation, of how the turkey got to their table.

I can't wait until we get our chickens next year because I am looking forward to processing the bird just like my husband and I process the deer we hunt! Will be interesting to see if our kids turn out Vegetarians!

SoDamnHungry

"You forgot I'm a vegetarian? It's been 17 years. Maybe you should see to a doctor?"

As for when they offer you meat to tease you, just say "No, vegetarians don't eat meat. Do you need me to explain it more? It's pretty simple."

As for why you don't eat meat, it looks like you have some better responses than I could come up with.

dougt333

"You forgot I'm a vegetarian? It's been 17 years. Maybe you should see to a doctor?"

As for when they offer you meat to tease you, just say "No, vegetarians don't eat meat. Do you need me to explain it more? It's pretty simple."

As for why you don't eat meat, it looks like you have some better responses than I could come up with.

Nice
Just wait until their in the hospital with heart problems from high cholesterol and spend a few hours in the room with them, reminding them of all that ham they ate through the years and how funy it is that you're outliving them.

"Here would you like some celery, ohh that's right your on a feeding tube now. You can't chew anything. Oh how about some letuce, that can go through a feeding tube right?"

nyssa1231

We don't eat meat either. At family gatherings, some people make comments, but not to the extent that your family does. It's more like, "Are you still vegetarian?" or "Right, you can't have this, because it has ham." It's more of an acknowledgement, rather than making fun. But, if someone crosses the line into "making fun", I just say something like, "Oh, are we on THIS again? Seriously? BORING. Can't you find something else to talk about?"

But if someone is actually interested in my reasons for not eating meat, I'll have a conversation with them about it.

Xaspar

You could try something cheeky like:
"Wow, it's awesome how flexible you are. You can put your foot in your mouth WHILE your head is up your *kitten*!"

dougt333

Just keep it classic

"Your mom"