At what age would you allow your child to use facebook?

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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I intend to raise my children apart from the social media trap. I was raised without a cellphone, without the internet, without social media and I intend to raise my child the same way.

    Around 16 or so they will be allowed to have internet access and all that. But until then I am going to do my best to teach my child to interact with human beings apart from electronics. I think that's the best gift I can give my child. especially in this day and age where children text each other but don't know what to do or say when they're face to face.

    I agree to an extent, but this is a different world from the one we grew up in. I think there can be a balance of both.

    I got my first cellphone at the age of 24. :) I'm very grateful that I grew up in a different world. These days I hear teenagers saying things like: My cellphone is my LIFE!!! And it disturbs me.

    Facebook is dangerous. And until someone is mature enough to use it wisely, I don't think they should have it. 16 would be the point where I'd say; I don't think you're mature enough to handle this BUT I am going to let you have it and if you mess up your privileges will be revoked. Simple as that.

    When I say it's a different world, I'm not talking about what other kids have and what kids want. I'm talking about just learning to navigate the world as it is. Obviously, you need to exert control over things and say no when approrpiate. But you also don't want to cripple them when it comes to competing in the world as adults. My grandparents grew up before dishwashers and microwaves, but they didn't prevent their children from using those things just because they weren't able to do so.

    And keep in mind about cell phones: There aren't pay phones on every corner anymore.
  • muddyventures
    muddyventures Posts: 360 Member
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    We decided 15 (or for us the start of freshman year in high school)... Why? We thought it important for our children to learn to use and navigate the social media site before we send them off into the world.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    When I say it's a different world, I'm not talking about what other kids have and what kids want. I'm talking about just learning to navigate the world as it is. Obviously, you need to exert control over things and say no when approrpiate. But you also don't want to cripple them when it comes to competing in the world as adults. My grandparents grew up before dishwashers and microwaves, but they didn't prevent their children from using those things just because they weren't able to do so.

    And keep in mind about cell phones: There aren't pay phones on every corner anymore.

    :) No, but there is always someone with a cellphone. :P And people are usually pretty kind about letting you use their phone.

    I lost my cell the other day and it wasn't difficult to find a phone to use to call for assistance (I locked myself out of my house too! Hah!)

    For me I don't have to worry about teenagers for awhile anyway. I'm just saying I think things have gone way too far and I'd like my kids to enjoy some innocence and non-electronic dependence before they have to go out into the world and be glued to a machine.
  • LaurySch
    LaurySch Posts: 277 Member
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    Facebook is dangerous. And until someone is mature enough to use it wisely, I don't think they should have it. 16 would be the point where I'd say; I don't think you're mature enough to handle this BUT I am going to let you have it and if you mess up your privileges will be revoked. Simple as that.

    Um, just like a car itself is not dangerous, neither is a website. If a 35 year old who has never had driving lessons gets behind the wheel of a car and starts out across town in rush hour I am scared. If a 13 year old who has been taught the rules and has been disciplined for not following said rules is given a facebook account with the understanding that there are rules that everyone is supposed to follow and he/she is expected to follow them no matter who doesn't follow them, then I feel pretty comfortable.

    As a parent, my job is to teach my kids to navigate safely and respectfully through a world that can be dangerous - not to keep them away from anything that might harm or hurt them. My 15 year old has had FB for 3 years and has kept me on his friend list - in fact I am friends with quite a few of his friends as well, not necessarily because I want to spy on them but because I genuinely like them and like to hear about what they are doing. My 12 year old is impatiently waiting to turn 13 so that she can get an account because it clearly states on FB guidelines that you must be 13.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Facebook is dangerous. And until someone is mature enough to use it wisely, I don't think they should have it. 16 would be the point where I'd say; I don't think you're mature enough to handle this BUT I am going to let you have it and if you mess up your privileges will be revoked. Simple as that.

    Um, just like a car itself is not dangerous, neither is a website. If a 35 year old who has never had driving lessons gets behind the wheel of a car and starts out across town in rush hour I am scared. If a 13 year old who has been taught the rules and has been disciplined for not following said rules is given a facebook account with the understanding that there are rules that everyone is supposed to follow and he/she is expected to follow them no matter who doesn't follow them, then I feel pretty comfortable.

    As a parent, my job is to teach my kids to navigate safely and respectfully through a world that can be dangerous - not to keep them away from anything that might harm or hurt them. My 15 year old has had FB for 3 years and has kept me on his friend list - in fact I am friends with quite a few of his friends as well, not necessarily because I want to spy on them but because I genuinely like them and like to hear about what they are doing. My 12 year old is impatiently waiting to turn 13 so that she can get an account because it clearly states on FB guidelines that you must be 13.

    You know being his friend doesn't actually DO anything? It's easy enough to block statuses so only specific people can see them? Right? You know this? I'm sure...

    I think it's clear, considering how many people have gotten fired and/or black listed through facebook that it is a dangerous tool when in the wrong hands. You can argue semantics all you want but it could be a tool of great evil when in the hands of an immature child.

    The 16 year olds I know online are constantly posting pictures of their cleavage, them and their buddies smoking weed and lots of pictures of them drinking alcohol. All of which is, of course, illegal. I'm sure these kids have their parents on their friends list too...

    PS: Granted I would hope any child of mine wouldn't do those things to begin with, I'm just pointing out that kids do insanely stupid things on facebook. Even 'good' kids do bad things when you aren't looking. At least, that's been my experience. :P
  • bdradtke
    bdradtke Posts: 8 Member
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    I have a 15 year old daughter. She first asked for Facebook when she was 11. We said she could have one when she was 13 if her grades in school warranted Facebook usage. She started one behind our back when she was 12. We found out and grounded her from Facebook (and monitored her username to see if she reactivated). She registered a new account under her cousins name until we found that one and disabled it. When she started high school, we allowed Facebook but limited usage. After some disciplanary issues, we took away her laptop. So she started using her iPod. We took away her iPod and she started using her younger brothers' iPods without permission. We locked down their iPods and she started taking our phones/iPads to get onto Facebook. We locked down our phones/iPads with passcodes and she borrowed an iPod from a friend at school to keep in her locker and bring home to access Facebook.

    Bottom line - Facebook is crack to teenagers - I believe more so to girls than boys. Maybe not true for all girls, but I know most of my daughter's friends can't seem to survive without it.

    With our boys who are younger, it will depend mostly on their maturity level, but I'm really hoping it fizzles out in the next couple years.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Heavily supervised at 16.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I have a 15 year old daughter. She first asked for Facebook when she was 11. We said she could have one when she was 13 if her grades in school warranted Facebook usage. She started one behind our back when she was 12. We found out and grounded her from Facebook (and monitored her username to see if she reactivated). She registered a new account under her cousins name until we found that one and disabled it. When she started high school, we allowed Facebook but limited usage. After some disciplanary issues, we took away her laptop. So she started using her iPod. We took away her iPod and she started using her younger brothers' iPods without permission. We locked down their iPods and she started taking our phones/iPads to get onto Facebook. We locked down our phones/iPads with passcodes and she borrowed an iPod from a friend at school to keep in her locker and bring home to access Facebook.

    Bottom line - Facebook is crack to teenagers - I believe more so to girls than boys. Maybe not true for all girls, but I know most of my daughter's friends can't seem to survive without it.

    With our boys who are younger, it will depend mostly on their maturity level, but I'm really hoping it fizzles out in the next couple years.

    Kudos for you for trying to parent her instead of saying: Oh well, she's getting it anyway so may as well just let her have it.

    And kids are crafty and it IS crack for girls. I think they enjoy the attention. Or something.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
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    My kid isn't born yet (any day now...), but he/she is staying locked in his/her cage until they're 18 and then it's out the door and into the real world.
  • runnerjenn0708
    runnerjenn0708 Posts: 400 Member
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    mines 10 going on 30 and he has no interest - i'm not pushing it
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    My 13 year old boy has it. I have his account information and we have to be "friends."

    This morning, he told me he'd be a much better dad than I am (just took his phone for usage violations). I told him that if he does end up a better dad than me, I'll take credit for raising him that way.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    My kid isn't born yet (any day now...), but he/she is staying locked in his/her cage until they're 18 and then it's out the door and into the real world.

    YES! This is exactly how children should be raised. High five dude.
  • dreilingda
    dreilingda Posts: 122 Member
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    My wife and I may be some of the only 2 people left to have never used Facebook. And we're only 30. We are educated, live in a large city, and are upper middle class. So no, it's not because we're stupid back water folk. Oh, and we've never touched an Apple product (though we use Android smart phones, etc.). Quite frankly, I hate doing stuff just because it's trendy.

    My daughter is currently 7 months so who knows what will be around by the time I have to think about this. That being said, even if I decide to let her use similar technology, it will be monitored until she's an adult. She can make choices and mistakes, but it is my job to make sure the mistakes are not big enough to ruin her life.
  • HeavyLiftGirl
    HeavyLiftGirl Posts: 1,267 Member
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    Not til they are about 15 or 16, and I will have full access to the account until they turn 18.

    Sorry-- there are a lot of internet pervs and child rapists out there...
  • JSlattery79
    JSlattery79 Posts: 116 Member
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    15
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    I intend to raise my children apart from the social media trap. I was raised without a cellphone, without the internet, without social media and I intend to raise my child the same way.

    Around 16 or so they will be allowed to have internet access and all that. But until then I am going to do my best to teach my child to interact with human beings apart from electronics. I think that's the best gift I can give my child. especially in this day and age where children text each other but don't know what to do or say when they're face to face.

    another awesome gift would be an ipad.

    so cool.


    :-P
  • sjoldersma
    sjoldersma Posts: 4
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    Never. Facebook gets you pregnant.


    True story

    LMAO!!
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I intend to raise my children apart from the social media trap. I was raised without a cellphone, without the internet, without social media and I intend to raise my child the same way.

    Around 16 or so they will be allowed to have internet access and all that. But until then I am going to do my best to teach my child to interact with human beings apart from electronics. I think that's the best gift I can give my child. especially in this day and age where children text each other but don't know what to do or say when they're face to face.

    another awesome gift would be an ipad.

    so cool.


    :-P

    Maybe when they're 13. :P That's about the age I saw my first computer. And it was this old thing with a blue screen... all it could do was that stupid pong game and word processing. *sigh* Ah. Good memories.
  • juliaamilee
    juliaamilee Posts: 262 Member
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    13 I have all the pass words if she even thinks of locking me out without giving me the password laptop gone.
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    I don't have a child but, I would try to keep them from facebook until they are 16. But, I am sure my view may change once my child was getting close to that age. It's hard to really say when I am not in the position. But, i think the longer you can keep them from internet stuff, the better

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