Thanksgiving Help....dreading the Food Pushers!

Options
myohana4
myohana4 Posts: 205 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just got off the phone with my mom. We are planning the Thanksgiving menu. I don't know how many times I told her that we need to not go over board with desserts and dips, etc. I told her that I would make a fruit salad, steamed broccoli, etc. (trying to keep it a little bit healthy.) She is so disappointed. She wants the fattening broccoli casserole and the gazillion calorie fruit dip. Twenty desserts that no one will eat.

I am actually dreading Thanksgiving. I have already told her so many times that I am watching what I am eating. She just says "Nonsense...It is a holiday!"

I am already anticipating her pouting because I won't eat her food. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I have to put myself first.

Any advice? How do you handle the food pushers in your life? Especially ones that are family and you don't want to hurt their feelings.
«13456789

Replies

  • wizbeth1218
    wizbeth1218 Posts: 358 Member
    Options
    This is a great question and one that I have been struggling with myself.

    I have been super-open and transparent with my efforts at improving my lifestyle and my struggles with food addiction and compulsive overeating. I have recently started saying, out loud, "I'm a compulsive over-eater." It's not easy to say!

    But it is helping me when I am confronted by a food-pusher (I love that term!). I can say, "wow, that looks wonderful! I'd love to have some, but I am a compulsive over-eater. I'm like an alcoholic, but with food. I haven't had a binge in more than 2 months, and I know that if I eat that it will trigger a binge."

    I have found that equating my choice to not eat something to an alcoholic declining a drink helps frame my choice so that feelings are not hurt.

    Good luck with your mom... Moms are tough sell, no matter what you do. :)
  • danielleryan01
    danielleryan01 Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    I am also dreading Thanksgiving this year. I only officially started my "journey" as of Nov 1st, but I have already seen so much progress. I am very anxious about Thanksgiving and all of the temptation that will come along with it and I am very concerned about gaining everything back and getting thrown off of the wagon altogether. I know that I have very little will power, it is something I am working on, but with all of the food and family, I tend to eat and talk and not really think about what is going in my mouth, or how much! I don't know if I can even blame the 'food-pushers.' I just seem to lose control this time of year! I really think it would be nice for some MFP veterans to "weigh-in" on this matter and let us know how they made it through the holidays! :)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Options
    Your mother and the rest of your family have nothing to do with the pact youve made with your body.
  • myohana4
    myohana4 Posts: 205 Member
    Options
    You bring up a great point about eating and talking. I need to make sure that I am not hanging out around the kitchen table on Thanksgiving.

    I am also dreading Thanksgiving this year. I only officially started my "journey" as of Nov 1st, but I have already seen so much progress. I am very anxious about Thanksgiving and all of the temptation that will come along with it and I am very concerned about gaining everything back and getting thrown off of the wagon altogether. I know that I have very little will power, it is something I am working on, but with all of the food and family, I tend to eat and talk and not really think about what is going in my mouth, or how much! I don't know if I can even blame the 'food-pushers.' I just seem to lose control this time of year! I really think it would be nice for some MFP veterans to "weigh-in" on this matter and let us know how they made it through the holidays! :)
  • Yolanda4160
    Yolanda4160 Posts: 170 Member
    Options
    We are going to my husband's aunt's house for Thanksgiving and I fully intend to bring my Lean Cuisine. I don't care who gets mad or pouts! I have worked too hard and too long to have a "binge day" :smile:
  • myohana4
    myohana4 Posts: 205 Member
    Options
    This is great advice. Thanks! I do need to come up with a standard response so that I don't have to over thinking it and possibly say something to hurt her feelings.
    This is a great question and one that I have been struggling with myself.

    I have been super-open and transparent with my efforts at improving my lifestyle and my struggles with food addiction and compulsive overeating. I have recently started saying, out loud, "I'm a compulsive over-eater." It's not easy to say!

    But it is helping me when I am confronted by a food-pusher (I love that term!). I can say, "wow, that looks wonderful! I'd love to have some, but I am a compulsive over-eater. I'm like an alcoholic, but with food. I haven't had a binge in more than 2 months, and I know that if I eat that it will trigger a binge."

    I have found that equating my choice to not eat something to an alcoholic declining a drink helps frame my choice so that feelings are not hurt.

    Good luck with your mom... Moms are tough sell, no matter what you do. :)
  • angievaughn
    angievaughn Posts: 655 Member
    Options
    Sounds like our mothers talk!! I use to be given a whole pecan pie to take home after Thanksgiving. I took the pie home to not hurt any feeling and threw it in the trash. It's probably not the best answer but with my food pushers....I put it on my plate along with the things I want to eat....and since it's busy and no one is paying attention...the plate goes in the trash after I have what I wanted!! This will be 3rd holiday season while losing weight...and it works!! Don't know if it's the right answer for you!! But it's what I do!!
  • MrsR0SE
    MrsR0SE Posts: 341 Member
    Options
    If there are small children invited you could offer to help with them - they will keep you so busy that you don't have as much time to eat, and in my experience they usually want to leave the table early, so you can go and play with them in another room!
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    Options
    FREE day... I look back on all the times that I've tried to keep in weight standards or this diet or that one, and all the wonderful food I've missed.. you should just enjoy yourself in moderation, be thankful that you have good food and company this year, and press on with your schedule/routine on friday, one day won't kill you, just don't over do it.


    as for the rest of it..small portions, make one plate, eat slow. but still enjoy yourself some, you've worked hard, and earned it
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Options
    I've seen it all over the boards..it's not what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it's what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving.

    Don't stress out over one day. Enjoy the time with family and the food, and get back on track the next day.
  • myohana4
    myohana4 Posts: 205 Member
    Options
    This is exactly what I told my husband I was going to do!! Just put it on my plate and toss it when no one is looking! LOL

    I think our mother's do talk! Every Christmas I get a big box of chocolate that I just let the kids poke their fingers in (which half the fun is seeing what is in the inside!) and then we toss them. I hope they never tell Grandma!
    Sounds like our mothers talk!! I use to be given a whole pecan pie to take home after Thanksgiving. I took the pie home to not hurt any feeling and threw it in the trash. It's probably not the best answer but with my food pushers....I put it on my plate along with the things I want to eat....and since it's busy and no one is paying attention...the plate goes in the trash after I have what I wanted!! This will be 3rd holiday season while losing weight...and it works!! Don't know if it's the right answer for you!! But it's what I do!!
  • MrsR0SE
    MrsR0SE Posts: 341 Member
    Options
    FREE day... I look back on all the times that I've tried to keep in weight standards or this diet or that one, and all the wonderful food I've missed.. you should just enjoy yourself in moderation, be thankful that you have good food and company this year, and press on with your schedule/routine on friday, one day won't kill you, just don't over do it.
    Excellent advice :)
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Options
    I've seen it all over the boards..it's not what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it's what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving.

    Don't stress out over one day. Enjoy the time with family and the food, and get back on track the next day.

    THIS!

    I'd be terribly hurt if I spent a long time preparing a feast and someone brought a lean cuisine to my home. Be kind to your hostesses.

    You can eat the feast in smaller portions, folks.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Options
    Just got off the phone with my mom. We are planning the Thanksgiving menu. I don't know how many times I told her that we need to not go over board with desserts and dips, etc. I told her that I would make a fruit salad, steamed broccoli, etc. (trying to keep it a little bit healthy.) She is so disappointed. She wants the fattening broccoli casserole and the gazillion calorie fruit dip. Twenty desserts that no one will eat.

    I am actually dreading Thanksgiving. I have already told her so many times that I am watching what I am eating. She just says "Nonsense...It is a holiday!"

    I am already anticipating her pouting because I won't eat her food. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I have to put myself first.

    Any advice? How do you handle the food pushers in your life? Especially ones that are family and you don't want to hurt their feelings.

    Ignore them. Bring and eat what you want. Let Mom make the fattening side dishes and desserts because not everyone is on a diet or worried about eating healthy on a holiday. And stop being such a kill joy.
  • suzie308
    suzie308 Posts: 29
    Options
    I feel if I continue to log onto MFP, log in EVERYTHING I eat and try and keep the calories under my daily allotment, I should be ok. Being truthful with yourself and enjoy the holidays in other ways than food. I'm going out of town and plan on taking my computer so I can keep up with my food log. Stay strong fellow MFPers. Happy Holidays.
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    Options
    Your mother and the rest of your family have nothing to do with the pact youve made with your body.

    THIS!!

    As one poster said in one of the other (numerous) tday threads: Hosts and hostesses (giggle) have enough to stress over by making dinner, don't add to their stress by expecting them to cater to your needs that you set for yourself.

    Just moderate food intake and enjoy.
  • tiffany5839
    tiffany5839 Posts: 104 Member
    Options
    I've seen it all over the boards..it's not what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it's what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving.

    Don't stress out over one day. Enjoy the time with family and the food, and get back on track the next day.


    THIS^^^^^
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    Options
    Let em push.
    Let em bake and cook to their hearts content
    Let em buy all kinds of fattening sugary oh so not good for you foods.
    Let em load the table and one another with all those foods YOU no longer want to plunder YOUR body with
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    ...........................then...stand tall, square your shoulders, plant your feet....and


    DONT
    EAT
    WHAT
    YOU
    KNOW
    YOU
    SHOULDNT/COULDNT/DONT WANT.

    Shy of shoving it in your mouth this is no different than the million other times people offer you things that you dont want. They cant make you.

    I, myself am the one doing most of the cooking for the holiday feast for my children and grandchildren. Im not quite sure how just yet but it'll happen. Being in control gives me a tad more control than if I were going elsewhere. Fortunately my kids were raised to eat healthy foods and they've maintained that.

    cattalkingtoscale.jpg
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
    Options
    Here's what I would do: First, fill yourself up with healthier foods, like lean turkey, some roast potatoes, fresh fruit and a really big green salad with tons of vegetables. Once you're fairly confident you can control yourself to eat only a little bit, take tiny portions of her food to be polite, then just have a small taste of each. When your mom pushes you to have more, just tell her how full you are, and itwassodeliciousthankyoubutIreallycouldn'teatanotherbite!
  • beansNboo
    beansNboo Posts: 23 Member
    Options
    I understand completely how hard this can be. My family were always confused about my decision to lose weight (I was never that overweight, but for my frame and build, I was certainly not looking/feeling my best). When I first started, I found it hard to resist their offerings, but I think that was mainly because I was still new to this change in lifestyle. I started using tricks like, "Oh, I'm still full from XX, but I'll probably try some later" or if it's booze - "Oh, I am too thirsty.. gotta have some water first or I'll be in trouble". They are silly distractions, but seem to appease the pushers. Finally, when I started getting comfortable with my own eating lifestyle, I would just simply say "no thank you". The feeling was uncomfortable.. and there was certainly confusion, but by and large, a simple "no" seemed to do the trick. Keep in mind that many people are "pushers" in part so they can justify their own indulgence (if we are all doing it, it's not bad!). If other people are uncomfortable with your healthy choices, that's okay. They'll get distracted soon enough. You'll feel proud to have resisted, even if just a little!

Categories