DO I POOP WRONG?

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Replies

  • SofaKingRad_
    SofaKingRad_ Posts: 276
    ""For safety, nature has deliberately created obstacles to evacuation that can only be removed by squatting. In any other position, the colon defaults to 'continence mode.' This is why the conventional sitting position deprives the colon of support from the thighs and leaves the rectum choked by the puborectalis muscle.These obstacles make elimination difficult and incomplete – like trying to drive a car without releasing the parking brake. '

    I DONT WANT TO DRIVE A CAR WITHOUT RELEASING THE PARKING BREAK!!!!!
  • _granola
    _granola Posts: 326
    OMG Hemorrhoids?? Diverticulitis? CONTAMINATION?

    I think I'll just get my colon removed!! Throw it away!! That will solve all of these problems!
  • BritneysStuntDouble
    BritneysStuntDouble Posts: 849 Member
    THEY HAVE A PICTURE TO PROVE IT

    sitting-vs-squatting.gif
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    I heard you were serving snacks here.
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    No.

    Most people do not sit on the toilet with exceptional back posture as though they are the Queen of England. Leaning forward fulfills the same positioning as a traditional squat when it comes to excretion.
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    mercola lol
  • SofaKingRad_
    SofaKingRad_ Posts: 276
    No.

    Most people do not sit on the toilet with exceptional back posture as though they are the Queen of England. Leaning forward fulfills the same positioning as a traditional squat when it comes to excretion.

    BUT THE ARTICLE SAID IT'S LIKE DRIVING A CAR WITH THE EMERGENCY BREAK ON!!!
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
    THEY HAVE A PICTURE TO PROVE IT

    sitting-vs-squatting.gif

    the puborectalis muscle is a jerk
  • FredDoyle
    FredDoyle Posts: 2,273 Member
    No.

    Most people do not sit on the toilet with exceptional back posture as though they are the Queen of England. Leaning forward fulfills the same positioning as a traditional squat when it comes to excretion.

    BUT THE ARTICLE SAID IT'S LIKE DRIVING A CAR WITH THE EMERGENCY BREAK ON!!!
    ...and a dead hooker in the trunk.
    Panic now.
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,352 Member
    ""For safety, nature has deliberately created obstacles to evacuation that can only be removed by squatting. In any other position, the colon defaults to 'continence mode.' This is why the conventional sitting position deprives the colon of support from the thighs and leaves the rectum choked by the puborectalis muscle.These obstacles make elimination difficult and incomplete – like trying to drive a car without releasing the parking brake. '

    I DONT WANT TO DRIVE A CAR WITHOUT RELEASING THE PARKING BREAK!!!!!

    Dr. Oz says this too so...

    Sorry you poop incorrectly.
  • Typhanee83
    Typhanee83 Posts: 309 Member
    Well, *kitten*! <--- I've been doing it wrong all these years.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    I stand and put one foot up on the sink.

    Do I win?
  • Beleren
    Beleren Posts: 142
    tumblr_medjkanjt61rlerpuo1_500.gif
  • SofaKingRad_
    SofaKingRad_ Posts: 276
    I stand and put one foot up on the sink.

    Do I win?


    I THINK YOUR EMERGENCY BREAK IS RELEASED!
  • Copaiba
    Copaiba Posts: 75 Member
    I heard you were serving snacks here.

    Perfect response. THANK YOU!
    LMFAO
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    I stand and put one foot up on the sink.

    Do I win?

    Pics or it didn't happen.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    This thread gives me a headache. :noway:
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    I just pull it out and throw it. No colorectal muscles needed.
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
    i was sitting today and if that monster was incomplete then something is bad wrong with me
  • r4hr4h
    r4hr4h Posts: 9
    I squatted a lot throughout Asia last year, and I tell you now I'd rather have pooper problems than squat over a hole in the ground again... if you don't have good aim or explosive anything then it's gonna end up down your leg, over your trousers and it's a delightful smell to be carrying around with you all day. The other problem is your legs can get tired if you're going for a marathon dump so you rush things along, which isn't a good thing... A good old seat and newspaper is the way forward... a nice leisurely poop to start the day right instead of balancing on the edge of doom trying to get your aim straight!
  • SofaKingRad_
    SofaKingRad_ Posts: 276
    This thread gives me a headache. :noway:

    You probably have the headache because you've been pooping wrong all your life!
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    Lies I do not poop.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Oddly enough, I've yet to have a problem in this area. I'll keep doing it the way I've always done it. Thanks!
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    That's why I don't do squats. Sh*tting yourself at the gym is just embarassing...
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    I stand and put one foot up on the sink.

    Do I win?

    No. Because I poop in my microwave. That's the only thing that deathbox is safe for.

    I win
  • JeffinRaleigh
    JeffinRaleigh Posts: 85
    ""For safety, nature has deliberately created obstacles to evacuation that can only be removed by squatting. In any other position, the colon defaults to 'continence mode.' This is why the conventional sitting position deprives the colon of support from the thighs and leaves the rectum choked by the puborectalis muscle.These obstacles make elimination difficult and incomplete – like trying to drive a car without releasing the parking brake. '

    I DONT WANT TO DRIVE A CAR WITHOUT RELEASING THE PARKING BREAK!!!!!
    Clearly, nature has never been on a long walk with me (if you catch my drift). :blushing: :embarassed:
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Maybe Mercola should squat, cuz he's full of *kitten*...
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    _Timmeh_ burned 500 calories doing puborectalis muscle deadlifts
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    squatty-potty.jpg

    She looks so comfortable... Im going to rush our and get the squatty potty
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
    Why, are you screaming at me....?

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