You keep what you kill...

Oh, and Dean? This is an exploding offer.

A little floor spice makes everything nice!

Nothin' sets off the flavor of steak like ketchup!

Oh, yes, massa, ain't gonna be no, no bacon on the salad, massa. Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, no bacon on the salad ~!

Mrs. Leverlilly: You've ruined that piano!
Clouseau: What is the price of one piano compared to the terrible crime that's been committed here?
Mrs. Leverlilly: But that's a priceless Steinway!
Clouseau: Not anymore!

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Hotel Clerk: No.
Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie.
[Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand]
Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

Clouseau: I was known as the Pavlova of the parallels. Oh, yes.
[starts swinging on the parallel bars]
Clouseau: Yes, it's all coming back now.
[sings]
Clouseau: Ah yes, I remember it...
[loses grip and falls down the stairs]
Clouseau: Aagh! Well, that felt good.

His name was Robert Paulson.

Now, a question of etiquette...as I pass, do I give you the *kitten* or the crotch?

His name is Robert Paulson!

*edited DAMN!

Teehee!

Droz: Well, here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before eleven. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink a lot. Women? You're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car?
Tom: Uh, no.
Droz: Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day.

Would you like to making *kitten*, Breserker?

"try not to suck any dix on the way through the parking lot!"

clerks

"Where are all the white women at?"

"There's no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"

"It's good to be the king"

I just saw Mel Brooks. This makes me happy.

Mel brooks movies should be a requirement in High School LOL

"May the Schwartz be with you"

"I'm a mog, half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend"

"It's twuuue it's twueee..."

"I see your schwartz is as big as mine..."

"What have we got in this thing a Cuisanart?"

I'm surrounded by *kitten*!!

She's gone from suck to blow!

every once in a while at work, i'll have to use my pipe wrench as a hammer. and when i do, i always go "this is how we fix problem on russian space station!" with full accent.

i always get very strange looks from co-workers.

sigh.

Shes gone from suck to blow----Spaceballs

Your mother was a *kitten* and your father smelled of elderberries

every once in a while at work, i'll have to use my pipe wrench as a hammer. and when i do, i always go "this is how we fix problem on russian space station!" with full accent.

i always get very strange looks from co-workers.

sigh.

Russian components, American components...ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!!

omg I would lose it if I witnessed that Danny .... hahahaha

Clark: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, ****less, hopeless, heartless, fat-*kitten*, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is! Hallelujah! Holy ****! Where's the Tylenol?
i can recite the damn thing word for word. people get a kick out of that!!!

What'm I doing here? What'm I doing here? -- from Everything you wanted to know about sex (Woody Allen)

"It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead."

Have fun storming the castle, boys!

(I say that at least once a week... LOL)