I don't want to see you anymore...

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  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    If you just abruptly stop communicating, he'll probably think you're dead. Be a big girl and tell him. It's not your responsibility how he reacts. At least you had enough respect to do the right thing, if not for him than for yourself. It's called 'integrity'.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.

    Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"

    That's juvenile.

    Just tell him you're not interested in him, that you had fun but you don't feel that it will go anywhere. Be honest. Would oulikeit if someonenjust stopped answering your phones or texts simply because they didn't want to be honest with you? IMO ignoring someone makes it hurt worse.

    Man up and have a chat with him.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,036 Member
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    Honesty is hands down the best policy.
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
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    If you just abruptly stop communicating, he'll probably think you're dead. Be a big girl and tell him. It's not your responsibility how he reacts. At least you had enough respect to do the right thing, if not for him than for yourself. It's called 'integrity'.

    They've been on three dates. He'd probably figure out she's ignoring him. I've had the silent treatment before. It sucks a lot more than if she'd just texted back..'Not Interested."

    But I agree that the respectful thing to do is let him somehow know you're not interested. If the OP has been planning everything anyway, what are the chances he's going to try to set something up anyway?
  • mmckee10
    mmckee10 Posts: 405 Member
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    another thing that makes guys run is too much attention... if you start to call him all the time and keep him on the phone and become an A class clinger... he'll run like hell!

    not true! i did this with my ex (because i was in the same position as the OP) and it made it 1,000 times worse!
  • Faericn_Rising
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    Why cant people just sit down with someone and look them in the eye and tell the frigging truth? Whats to be afraid of?This poor guy! Yes, its not the easiest option, but its the RIGHT one. God, society is so messed up.

    Put your big girl panties on! From the look of how people act these days all sneaky and dismissive and passive aggressive, im not even sure they sell them anymore.... A majority of people acting a certain way doesnt make it right.

    Tell him, nicely, but in no uncertain terms, what the issue is. face to face. In person. with vocal words. Dont be a *****, just be honest.

    Why is it so hard to take a stand an be an upstanding honest person? I rejected so many guys, and never once did i ever just let them fall off with no notice, that **** is cruel and disrespectful.

    Edited to add that Op CLEARLY stated they have been on more than 3 dates, but SHE PLANNED, 3 dates. Pay attention.

    'omg tl, dr' derp, hurr hurr hurr....'
  • rcalvert1
    rcalvert1 Posts: 117 Member
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    I had to do this this weekend. I was honest and told him that I didnt have that 'feeling' for him. Kinda sucks but hey it is what it is. Just be honest, you are not willing to settle and you want that special connection and its just not there for you. Dont drag it out, that just makes things worse. He's a big boy and will get over it. Good luck.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Even though I live in a city, it's kind of a small town city, and I always run into people. So, I always feel like I have to resolve things or it gets weird. And, it seems like everyone knows everyone. So, you have to be cool. Sometimes you date someone and have no idea they are your best friends SIL or something. LOL. It happens.
  • TheRealJigsaw
    TheRealJigsaw Posts: 295 Member
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    [/quote]
    Also, if a man can't plan at least the first 3 dates MINIMUM, he's def not worth seeing!
    [/quote]

    Where is this written?
  • bbgughj
    bbgughj Posts: 219 Member
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    Why cant people just sit down with someone and look them in the eye and tell the frigging truth? Whats to be afraid of?This poor guy! Yes, its not the easiest option, but its the RIGHT one. God, society is so messed up.

    Put your big girl panties on! From the look of how people act these days all sneaky and dismissive and passive aggressive, im not even sure they sell them anymore.... A majority of people acting a certain way doesnt make it right.

    Tell him, nicely, but in no uncertain terms, what the issue is. face to face. In person. with vocal words. Dont be a *****, just be honest.

    Why is it so hard to take a stand an be an upstanding honest person? I rejected so many guys, and never once did i ever just let them fall off with no notice, that **** is cruel and disrespectful.

    Edited to add that Op CLEARLY stated they have been on more than 3 dates, but SHE PLANNED, 3 dates. Pay attention.

    'omg tl, dr' derp, hurr hurr hurr....'


    True , I Heart u :smile:
  • AwesomeMoJo
    AwesomeMoJo Posts: 1,145 Member
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    So, I will tell him tonight. I will call him and talk to him that way. I do not want to see him...thatwill exascerbate things. I don't want to text him as that would be too impersonal. He deserves a phone call at the least....

    Response to me planning the dates: He did plan the last 2 that we went on but not without me giving him a few ideas first. I need a guy who is take charge, makes plans for us, and will tell me what he wants. NOT just a pushover who says "whatever you want: all the time...I need a man with a backbone...
  • Faericn_Rising
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    So, I will tell him tonight. I will call him and talk to him that way. I do not want to see him...thatwill exascerbate things. I don't want to text him as that would be too impersonal. He deserves a phone call at the least....

    Response to me planning the dates: He did plan the last 2 that we went on but not without me giving him a few ideas first. I need a guy who is take charge, makes plans for us, and will tell me what he wants. NOT just a pushover who says "whatever you want: all the time...I need a man with a backbone...

    Good.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    If you just abruptly stop communicating, he'll probably think you're dead. Be a big girl and tell him. It's not your responsibility how he reacts. At least you had enough respect to do the right thing, if not for him than for yourself. It's called 'integrity'.

    They've been on three dates. He'd probably figure out she's ignoring him. I've had the silent treatment before. It sucks a lot more than if she'd just texted back..'Not Interested."

    But I agree that the respectful thing to do is let him somehow know you're not interested. If the OP has been planning everything anyway, what are the chances he's going to try to set something up anyway?

    OP says:
    Claririfcation: We have been on more than 3 dates..but I planned the first 3....
    It does say her post was edited, so she may have included this later.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    just call him and say its not going to work. Easy. Done.
  • AwesomeMoJo
    AwesomeMoJo Posts: 1,145 Member
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    Also, if a man can't plan at least the first 3 dates MINIMUM, he's def not worth seeing!
    Where is this written?

    Sweetie...that is no the point. The point is he asked ME out...if YOU ask ME out...then I would expect you would plan the night. If I asked you out then I would pan the date...(and I have asked a few guys out).\
    Then after the first date..he said he would like to go out again..I again said yes (this time thinking since he knew a little more about me would plan a date)...NOPE...he wanted me to make the plans again...finally after the 3rd date, I told him to stop being so wishy-washy and plan a night out for us or a day out......
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    ehh, well see if you tell him its cause he's a push over, you could've just created the *kitten* symdrome.. aka used to be the nice guy that's now a *kitten* because of all the girls telling him he was to nice.. yeah,i've seen it happen. TOO MUCH!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
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    So, I will tell him tonight. I will call him and talk to him that way. I do not want to see him...thatwill exascerbate things. I don't want to text him as that would be too impersonal. He deserves a phone call at the least....

    Response to me planning the dates: He did plan the last 2 that we went on but not without me giving him a few ideas first. I need a guy who is take charge, makes plans for us, and will tell me what he wants. NOT just a pushover who says "whatever you want: all the time...I need a man with a backbone...


    Probably a good call. I didn't realize the OP was edited to state there more than 3 dates, etc., so the least he deserves is a phone call with the honest truth, just not brutally honest. Like, no need to be entirely detailed, just plain and simple that its just not going where you had hoped it would go and you wish him luck. Period.
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
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    Definitely start the conversation with "It's not me, it's you..."
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.

    Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"

    if its only been a few dates, then this.... let him get the hint. It's not cool, but neither is seeing a grown man cry.

    The problem is (and I hate to say it) but I tried this already for the last 3 days...it just casues him to call and text me more and more...it has to stop.

    you'll have to have the talk. or you could just text

    you-wanna-witness-some-magic-through-text.jpeg

    :laugh:

    Now that is funny! Cruel, but funny.
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
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    If you stop planning dates, that should end that.

    You said you always planned the dates....well stop calliing him. If he calls you treat him like you would want to be treated in the same situation. Be honest.