How to handle co-worker sabotage?
Replies
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Fortunately I plan my bulk around the holidays so I eat all the yummies :-)0
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I used to work with a retired Marine who was a poster child for physical fitness and health. When goodies were getting passed around during the Christmas season, he'd always say "I don't put that poison in my body". He said it facetiously and with humor, and nobody took offense to it; in fact it became a standing joke amongst us - but we knew that he wouldn't/didn't eat that kind of stuff. Everybody respected that and didn't push it on him.
i don't care how much humor he said it with, it's still rude. Basically he's saying that anyone that does eat it is putting poison in their body. What's wrong with a simple no thank you?
Rude? Maybe. Frigin' hilarious? Definitely. I would be LMAO if someone tried to say that Christmas goodies are "poison."0 -
HAHAHA, Now THAT IS FUNNY!!!PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!
This tickled me as I envisioned puching people in the face for offering me brownies. BAM - Merry Chrismtas! hahahahaha0 -
Why do people think that they are sooooo important that not eating something offered is going to hurt anyone's feelings? Ever consider they don't really want you to eat one and are just trying to not hurt YOUR feelings and are offering you something? Or maybe they all have a bet on who can get you to eat the most? Get over yourself and tell them NO, I don't want it.
My typical response....."No thanks, I'm fat enough."0 -
I just say No Thanks. And I continue to say No Thanks no matter how many times they ask me. Eventually they get the hint and stop asking.0
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pack your own food0
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I take the cookie and say "thank you" and then when they are out of my office, I throw it out without even thinking about it.
This morning they provided us with breakfast and I took a mini croissant AND a half of a slice of marble cake and I just threw out the croissant (it had more calories when I looked it up). If it's in the garbage, I won't eat it :-)0 -
A lot of people tell me "just don't eat it, who cares if they're offended" but I work in a VERY team-based and fragile ego environment so I totally understand why someone wouldn't want to be rude by always saying no.
Here's the cool thing... BECAUSE I allow myself to eat the truly FABULOUS things, an BECAUSE I don't make a habit of bring mean and snippy about "you slobs filling your mouths with that junk" when I say no, most people don't mind the occasions when I say no.
Here's what I do when confronted with office goodies:
1. No thanks (or, if they're pushy, maybe later)
2. I remember that part of the reason they're often pushing it on US is so THEY don't eat it!!! Or so they're wives don't eat it (I work around mostly men).
3. If it's gonna hinder my weight loss,then eating it needs to be WORTH every calorie. I don't eat sweets that are not fabulous.But I *will* indulge a little bit if it's something REALLY good that only comes around this time of year (like my mom's nutroll).
4. If I feel this person is sensitive and taking my "no thanks" personally, I take a tiny bite, act like I'm nibbling and (unless I've already earned the calories that day) and then later after I'm done talking with people, I throw the rest out.
5. If I'm having one of those days where I know my self control is low (so I know I can't keep a plate of goodies on my desk without actually eating them) but they are being pushy when I say "no thanks" then I take some "I will try it after I eat lunch" then I will find a way to throw it out.0 -
I personally don't see the problem. Why do you feel you need to explain or try not to hurt their feelings? Say no thank you I'm not hugnry and move on. Their responses aren't your problem. If they are pissed off because you aren't eating a treat they brought then THEY are the ones with the problem not you. If you have the room in your daily calorie allowance then take a small amount of something and enjoy and if you don't then I don't see any reason to feel guilty about it. I don't find the need to explain my whole life to people about my food choices. If they are continually pushing you to eat then THEY have some major issues. If people are wondering what's going on I just say I've changed my eating habits and am eating healthier and don't eat that kind of stuff on a regular basis anymore.
Typically people that partake in bad habits want everyone around them to do the same so they don't feel so bad. By you saying no, it is making them realize how much of a failure they are at controlling their own urges. When someone in a group starts to change for the better the others will fight to keep you there because you are a reflection of what they can't do themselves.0 -
I take the cookie and say "thank you" and then when they are out of my office, I throw it out without even thinking about it.
This morning they provided us with breakfast and I took a mini croissant AND a half of a slice of marble cake and I just threw out the croissant (it had more calories when I looked it up). If it's in the garbage, I won't eat it :-)
I think throwing the food out is rude too. The only exception would be if they keep pushing and pushing. but if someone offers you food and you don't plan to eat it, just say no thank you. If I bring in a treat I would prefer that only the people who are actually going to eat it take some rather than wasting it.0 -
I don't really have 'co-worker sabotage' - no one really pushes their goodies on me! Actually, last week there was a box of donuts in the office, I walked over to it and two of my co-workers said 'what are you doing?'. I said, "I just want to smell them (I LOVE the smell of doughnuts)" and reached to open the box. ALL the ladies in the office are saying "NO NO NO, get away from them, you're doing so good!"
Gotta love these people!
eta: Sorry, I guess I went off-topic a little, didn't I?
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i'll usually grab it and bring it home for my love. he scarfs anything down.
sometimes i'll indulge, if it's in my daily allowance. for example, there's a donut shop around here, family owned since the 60's, and their donuts are OUT OF THIS WORLD (carol lee anybody?)
anyways, i know i'm moving next summer, and won't have another for years and years if ever, so i'll eat the damn donut and smile like the cheshire cat. i just had one this morning for our staff meeting, a blueberry cake donut. i may have another. cause i like them.0 -
People give food. That's the way it is. I (even though I'm on this big health kick) am baking tarts, and making home-made chocolates to gift this season.
At work, when offered food I shouldn't eat, I take it if it is homemade, because it's the nice thing to do. I always bring it home to my husband to enjoy because his metabolism is crazy enviable.0 -
Thankfully the three girls that work in my office are starting to change the way they eat(hurray for peer pressure) but it is the holidays and we do go to a lot of events on behalf of our boss(food and drinking) so right now I'm trying to balance. I make it a point to try and burn off my breakfast at the gym and plan my day (calorie wise) around what I have planned for the day.
Its the holidays, enjoy them but don't go overboard!0 -
I wouldn't think of it as sabotage - it's more of them not having a handle on their own healthy eating and living habits. I never say that I'm "on a diet" because honestly, it's not a diet. I'm vegan AND health conscious - it's a way of life. Granted, I can't eat half the stuff they bring in because of the dairy and eggs anyway, but I'm more than happy with the choices I make. I have all sorts of delicious vegan goodies in my desk drawers ranging from home-baked chocolate chip cookies to semi-sweet chocolate chips and vegan jerky strips (10g or protein each and delish!) to apple blueberry granola.0
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Get some willpower and just don't eat it. It's not like they force it down your throat. Say no. It's allowed.0
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I take the cookie and say "thank you" and then when they are out of my office, I throw it out without even thinking about it.
This morning they provided us with breakfast and I took a mini croissant AND a half of a slice of marble cake and I just threw out the croissant (it had more calories when I looked it up). If it's in the garbage, I won't eat it :-)
I think throwing the food out is rude too. The only exception would be if they keep pushing and pushing. but if someone offers you food and you don't plan to eat it, just say no thank you. If I bring in a treat I would prefer that only the people who are actually going to eat it take some rather than wasting it.
I have a big problem with "wasting" food. But as a wise person once pointed out...if you eat and don't need the calories, then it is still waste. Personally, I would rather put the waste in a trash can then on my *kitten*. My sister had trouble with this as well and she allowed one day a week for a treat day. That way if treats came around on any other day, she could say "sorry, it isn't my day!" and smile. Eventually people didn't offer them to her unless they knew it was her day. This isn't rude. It is modeling good healthy choices. Not a thing wrong with that!0 -
This is a personal Pet Peeve of mine and something that makes me really defensive. I cannot stand people who try to sabotage those of us trying to improve ourselves - nice or not they know what they are doing . To me it is no different than someone in a bar buying an alcoholic a drink.
My approach is an unapologetic one and I don't care who I piss off. Once someone is rejected I guarantee they won't offer you food again, so I feel the direct honest approach is best.
But what I have also found for pushy annoying types is to not take the soap box stance, but take a more non-threatening, passive stance in your response. If you are the type to lecture friends and co-workers on healthy eating, then human nature being what it is, they all silently want to see you fail in order to know that not even really fit healthy, people can avoid tasty junk food too - thus giving themselves justification to eat more crap.
So my approach goes something like this.
Fat Secretary - "Try my home made Smores you will LOVE them!"
Me - "Thanks, but I am good".
Fat Secretary "Oh c'mon, everyone loves chocolate and marshmallow - be honest - you are no better than the rest of us - you can afford one stupid smore - geez!"
Me- "Oh you are SO right Tenisha! I LOVE junk food! I would eat that whole plate of mouth watering smores all by myself. But I went to the doctor recently and he told me to watch my cholesterol and sugar, so as much as it kills me and as weak of a human being as I am, I am going to have to pass - I am really sorry they look absolutely delightful!"
Fat Secretary - "Oh that stinks - you are no fun!"
Me - "I know, I know - but hey it means there are more left for you and the other secretaries to enjoy! Smore On Tenisha!"
No one's quilting me into eating crap junk food I don't want to eat and I will spin it on them with a smile on my face and maintain my healthy regimen and no one gets offended in the process.
My 2 cents
Wow! I really don't think the world is out to get the "dieters". There is no big conspiracy to sabotage everyone. In my experience, most people who offer up food are not doing it to sabotage you or hurt you in any way. Unless you are up on your soapbox every day professing about trying to "improve" yourself, most are actually unaware of your personal health goals because you aren't the center of their world.
People who offer up food are usually being polite. I like to bake. I do it well. I often share what I bake with coworkers. I have a few that I actually like and they are the ones I bring it for, but I usually feel like I have to offer it to everyone, or I would come across as rude and incosiderate by purposefully ignoring others. If a coworker makes a specialty that I really enjoy, I usually make room for it in my day and have some. If it's not something I love, then I usually just say "no thanks" and everyone goes on their merry way.
As most posters have said, a simple "No, thank you," should suffice. No need to get all preachy or even explain. Usually, when people push and offer multiple times it's when we don't simply say "no, thank you." It's when we say, "no thanks, I'm on a diet" or something like that. Like another poster said, that implies that you might really want it and maybe they feel bad that you have to deprive yourself, or they're just annoyed with your explanation.
Oh, and if that conversation you quoted that you had with your secretary is accurate, then it appears that you've been spending too much time on your soapbox professing how you are trying to better yourself and everyone is probably tired of hearing it. If she really said that you are no better than the rest of us, then obviously you are giving the impression that you think you are better than everyone else because of this self improvement you are embarking on, and working or living with a person on such a high pedestal can really be quite annoying. Maybe everyone around you does want to see you fail just to knock you down a few notches, but I've not really encountered people who want me to fail.0 -
It is NEVER rude to say no, if no is what you mean. Please explain to me why you think it is rude to turn down something offered.A lot of people tell me "just don't eat it, who cares if they're offended" but I work in a VERY team-based and fragile ego environment so I totally understand why someone wouldn't want to be rude by always saying no.
Here's the cool thing... BECAUSE I allow myself to eat the truly FABULOUS things, an BECAUSE I don't make a habit of bring mean and snippy about "you slobs filling your mouths with that junk" when I say no, most people don't mind the occasions when I say no.
Here's what I do when confronted with office goodies:
1. No thanks (or, if they're pushy, maybe later)
2. I remember that part of the reason they're often pushing it on US is so THEY don't eat it!!! Or so they're wives don't eat it (I work around mostly men).
3. If it's gonna hinder my weight loss,then eating it needs to be WORTH every calorie. I don't eat sweets that are not fabulous.But I *will* indulge a little bit if it's something REALLY good that only comes around this time of year (like my mom's nutroll).
4. If I feel this person is sensitive and taking my "no thanks" personally, I take a tiny bite, act like I'm nibbling and (unless I've already earned the calories that day) and then later after I'm done talking with people, I throw the rest out.
5. If I'm having one of those days where I know my self control is low (so I know I can't keep a plate of goodies on my desk without actually eating them) but they are being pushy when I say "no thanks" then I take some "I will try it after I eat lunch" then I will find a way to throw it out.
You work with mostly men, but they get their feelings hurt because you wont eat the crap that they don't want to eat or don't want their wives eating? Well it is good to know how highly they think of you......0 -
I am very open about my quest to regain my health and friends, family and coworkers know that I have been putting forth a huge amount of effort to meet my goals. I do not worry about offending anybody by not taking their cookie, homemade grandma's famous cake etc. because if you are going to be upset about MY choice to eat better, move more, and regain my health than you're probably not worth my time anyways and you can keep your cookies. Sounds harsh, but i spent wat too much of my life giving my power over to other people not it is time for me to take back control. Leaving my choices up to other people probably won't bring me closer to my goals.0
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As we speak my co-workers just noshed a huge load of homemade spaghetti and garlic bread someone had brought it. It looked and smelled great. I politely declined. They glared. Yup happens all the time!0
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Ok first of all, having someone offer you food and keep food int he office is NOT sabotage, it;s life. I also work in an office where there is constantly candy, treats, snacks, and catered meals at least once a month if not more. Pick a better option, eat less, or say no. Is it annoying to say no every day? Yeah. Is it going to hurt someone's feelings? Yeah. But you're a big kid now, you can make the decisions you need to better your health and everyone else can suck it. It gets easier. I'm now three months in and while I still have to say "no" every single day and ignore the M&M dispenser right in my path, I can do it and it's not as hard as it was at the beginning. Change how you look at it.0
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My boss loves to buy chocolate or fattening lunches for all of us. I generally will bring my own food and occasionally I will indulge a little at work. I have found by saying "I will in just a little bit, I just need to finish this..." Then I can just avoid the situation. However, it's not 100% foolproof and I do have to just decline. I work with some pushy people so it can be a little difficult at times lol.0
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Ok first of all, having someone offer you food and keep food int he office is NOT sabotage, it;s life. I also work in an office where there is constantly candy, treats, snacks, and catered meals at least once a month if not more. Pick a better option, eat less, or say no. Is it annoying to say no every day? Yeah. Is it going to hurt someone's feelings? Yeah. But you're a big kid now, you can make the decisions you need to better your health and everyone else can suck it. It gets easier. I'm now three months in and while I still have to say "no" every single day and ignore the M&M dispenser right in my path, I can do it and it's not as hard as it was at the beginning. Change how you look at it.
Although I fundamentally do not disagree with you, I do feel (at least in my case) there is a certain amount of deliberate ignorance on the part of co-workers which pi$$es me off quite frankly. The people in my office who are also fit are the same as me - they never bring in tons of junk, nor do they care if you eat it or pass on it. However, the people who are heavy and constantly eating crap - yeah, well they are all well aware that we are health conscious, yet they will still constantly set up their social eating assaults for no other reason than so they can pig out while badgering everyone else to join in.
I equate this on the same level with a co-worker who insists on spraying strong perfume on themselves in the office even if it offends others or gives them a headache, or the co worker who has loud personal conversations on the phone and insists on sharing all there personal issues whether you wish to hear them or not. It's an invasive sort of thing in the office.
Yeah everyone eats, yeah I am a big boy. But I don't keep crap food in my house, so why should I be subjected to it constantly in the workplace let alone be goaded into eating it? It's annoying.0 -
This is a personal Pet Peeve of mine and something that makes me really defensive. I cannot stand people who try to sabotage those of us trying to improve ourselves - nice or not they know what they are doing . To me it is no different than someone in a bar buying an alcoholic a drink.
My approach is an unapologetic one and I don't care who I piss off. Once someone is rejected I guarantee they won't offer you food again, so I feel the direct honest approach is best.
But what I have also found for pushy annoying types is to not take the soap box stance, but take a more non-threatening, passive stance in your response. If you are the type to lecture friends and co-workers on healthy eating, then human nature being what it is, they all silently want to see you fail in order to know that not even really fit healthy, people can avoid tasty junk food too - thus giving themselves justification to eat more crap.
So my approach goes something like this.
Fat Secretary - "Try my home made Smores you will LOVE them!"
Me - "Thanks, but I am good".
Fat Secretary "Oh c'mon, everyone loves chocolate and marshmallow - be honest - you are no better than the rest of us - you can afford one stupid smore - geez!"
Me- "Oh you are SO right Tenisha! I LOVE junk food! I would eat that whole plate of mouth watering smores all by myself. But I went to the doctor recently and he told me to watch my cholesterol and sugar, so as much as it kills me and as weak of a human being as I am, I am going to have to pass - I am really sorry they look absolutely delightful!"
Fat Secretary - "Oh that stinks - you are no fun!"
Me - "I know, I know - but hey it means there are more left for you and the other secretaries to enjoy! Smore On Tenisha!"
No one's quilting me into eating crap junk food I don't want to eat and I will spin it on them with a smile on my face and maintain my healthy regimen and no one gets offended in the process.
My 2 cents
Wow! I really don't think the world is out to get the "dieters". There is no big conspiracy to sabotage everyone. In my experience, most people who offer up food are not doing it to sabotage you or hurt you in any way. Unless you are up on your soapbox every day professing about trying to "improve" yourself, most are actually unaware of your personal health goals because you aren't the center of their world.
People who offer up food are usually being polite. I like to bake. I do it well. I often share what I bake with coworkers. I have a few that I actually like and they are the ones I bring it for, but I usually feel like I have to offer it to everyone, or I would come across as rude and incosiderate by purposefully ignoring others. If a coworker makes a specialty that I really enjoy, I usually make room for it in my day and have some. If it's not something I love, then I usually just say "no thanks" and everyone goes on their merry way.
As most posters have said, a simple "No, thank you," should suffice. No need to get all preachy or even explain. Usually, when people push and offer multiple times it's when we don't simply say "no, thank you." It's when we say, "no thanks, I'm on a diet" or something like that. Like another poster said, that implies that you might really want it and maybe they feel bad that you have to deprive yourself, or they're just annoyed with your explanation.
Oh, and if that conversation you quoted that you had with your secretary is accurate, then it appears that you've been spending too much time on your soapbox professing how you are trying to better yourself and everyone is probably tired of hearing it. If she really said that you are no better than the rest of us, then obviously you are giving the impression that you think you are better than everyone else because of this self improvement you are embarking on, and working or living with a person on such a high pedestal can really be quite annoying. Maybe everyone around you does want to see you fail just to knock you down a few notches, but I've not really encountered people who want me to fail.
We are talking about co-workers here who (in my case) are well aware if my eating choices and health habits. Same discussions over an over again, not brain surgery - it's deliberate ignorance - sorry but you are not correct in all cases... No I am not the center of the world (nor do I want to be), no I do not get on my soap box, so my attitude is for others just to leave me the f--k alone and stop pushing crappy food at work - simple solution for me. As far as the "no better than anyone else thing" - EXACTLY - because if I decline politely it results in this type of RUDE, IGNORANT response!!! If people just accepted "No Thanks" there would be no need for these office gymnastics not to insult someone who should not be bringing in crap food to begin with!0 -
This morning, my coworker (who is a really good baker) came into my office with a chocolate cheesecake brownie. I told her, "No thanks. I'm good."
She persisted and I reiterated, "No, really. Get out."
She laughed (we're good friends) and took the brownie away. I don't think that she was sabotaging me or anything. She loves baking and I love sweets so it's been a symbiotic relationship. Ha!0 -
My usual answer lately has been, "Sorry, it doesn't jive with my triathlon training." They're so surprised that I'm doing they forget all about me not eating their wonderful snacks.0
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the only person sabotaging you, is you. No one is forcing you to eat it, you make that choice yourself.0
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Why is it always sabotage or some other hyperbolic sounding noun if people bring food with them to the office? They're well within their rights to do so just as everyone else in the office is well within their rights to refuse to eat it or not.
Every single day in my office there's chocolate, cookies and cake to be had next to the nespresso machine. I stare at the food during the 2-3 minutes or so it takes to get my coffee. Do I get to claim that my co-workers organized an ambush just to get me to eat since they know I'm a coffee addict and end up at the coffee machine 3-4 times a day? No.
If I eat the food, that's on me. If I manage to resist then yay. I don't like to blame other people for my own screw ups.0 -
It is NEVER rude to say no, if no is what you mean. Please explain to me why you think it is rude to turn down something offered.A lot of people tell me "just don't eat it, who cares if they're offended" but I work in a VERY team-based and fragile ego environment so I totally understand why someone wouldn't want to be rude by always saying no.
Here's the cool thing... BECAUSE I allow myself to eat the truly FABULOUS things, an BECAUSE I don't make a habit of bring mean and snippy about "you slobs filling your mouths with that junk" when I say no, most people don't mind the occasions when I say no.
Here's what I do when confronted with office goodies:
1. No thanks (or, if they're pushy, maybe later)
2. I remember that part of the reason they're often pushing it on US is so THEY don't eat it!!! Or so they're wives don't eat it (I work around mostly men).
3. If it's gonna hinder my weight loss,then eating it needs to be WORTH every calorie. I don't eat sweets that are not fabulous.But I *will* indulge a little bit if it's something REALLY good that only comes around this time of year (like my mom's nutroll).
4. If I feel this person is sensitive and taking my "no thanks" personally, I take a tiny bite, act like I'm nibbling and (unless I've already earned the calories that day) and then later after I'm done talking with people, I throw the rest out.
5. If I'm having one of those days where I know my self control is low (so I know I can't keep a plate of goodies on my desk without actually eating them) but they are being pushy when I say "no thanks" then I take some "I will try it after I eat lunch" then I will find a way to throw it out.
You work with mostly men, but they get their feelings hurt because you wont eat the crap that they don't want to eat or don't want their wives eating? Well it is good to know how highly they think of you......
Sigh. You're right. People who actually care what others think are so beneath you.
I don't personally think it's rude. Like another poster said, if I make something and you aren't going to eat it, I'd rather you didn't take it at all. But many women think it's rude. And my civilian coworkers who could stand to lose a few pounds take personal offense (as if you're passing judement on them).
And yes, I work with mostly men. Who seem to like to highlight to wifey that I snubbed their cooking. As men, they don't say it "that way" but that's what wifey hears. It's bad enough they hate on those of us females who work with their husbands. Why add to it if you don't have to?
My post was cut and paste from my blog post on the topic. These strategies also apply to parties and such.0
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