I'm not gay but I need a wife....

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  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    I love one of the responses to one of my friends after her bf got drunk and asked if he could have an affair with someone. "does she do dishes?"
    Reminds me of a joke from a commedianne named Sommore. I won't butcher the joke by TRYING to tell it (Google it). However, the jist of it is that a man was trying to calm his wife down when she catches him in their bed with another woman. After he explains all things that other woman does (pays mortgage, etc.)... the wife looks at the other woman still sleep in the bed, looks at him, then back at her...
    ...and finally says, "Well, hurry up and cover that b!tc# back up before she catches cold!!"
  • s_hannon
    s_hannon Posts: 43
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    Amen
  • Jonesie86
    Jonesie86 Posts: 446 Member
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    I see whatcha did there....and that was EXACTLY how my marriage was. Needless to say I'm happily divorced. Yay!
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
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    The problem with women is they take too long to get ready to exist.

    I doubt that it only applies to women.
  • SeaRunner26
    SeaRunner26 Posts: 5,143 Member
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    I am gay and had a wife. Didn't work out so well for me.
  • plipsurt
    plipsurt Posts: 185 Member
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    I got a wife! I would highly recommend this course of action :D
  • bettacheckyoself
    bettacheckyoself Posts: 570
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    This sounds like that sister wives show..... or maybe you just want a clone...that would be cool.... I would probably be able to sport a french braid if I had a clone....
  • dave4d
    dave4d Posts: 1,155 Member
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    You can have my wife.
    I warn you though, she is completely non-domestic. You'll just end up with more clothes to clean and food to cook and dishes to do.

    On the plus side, my load will be lighter.


    Hahahahaha!!!! That's what I had before she became my ex. :laugh:

    My current wife, and I usually do our own thing. She does her laundry, I do mine. She cooks her meals, I cook mine. It works out great.

    To the OP, I hear climbing the corporate ladder is tough. Sometimes sacrifices like yours have to be made in order to achieve financial success. I refuse to step on the ladder. I will never be rich, but I'm happy sharing my time with my family, and duties with my wife. I guess it is a conversation you should have with your husband. Which would you prefer?
  • maxonehiphop
    maxonehiphop Posts: 139 Member
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    Never figured out why polygamy only works one way.

    It's called polyandry.
    TLC needs to get on that show. I'd watch it.
    "BRO-Hubbies" or maybe "Hubby-bro's" sounds better.

    or

    Groomates
    Husbands & Wife
    Men & Woman
    Brawncubines
    Misterwives
    Her Harem
    Herem
    Lady & Gentlemen
    Moremen Family
    HerMen
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Just someone who can pick up the slack around the house while I go do seemingly unimportant things. Also someone who doesn't mind putting their career on hold and watching the children while I have the freedom to do everything I need and want to do to climb the corporate ladder. Don't get me wrong, just because you are watching the kids doesn't mean you don't have to work. You still will need to work and make sure the house is clean and nobody is hungry. And since I tend to get tired after working all day and eating dinner, I am going to need you to be able to wash the dishes while I sit in front of the television and maybe talk loudly on the phone about something incredible I did in highschool. Then maybe if you have finished helping all the kids with their homework, bathing them, putting them to bed, we can sit down and I can tell you about my incredibly stressful day.

    Mouse on a wheel, we all do it! Complain, and the wheel goes faster lol!

    But seriously there is something called speech and you need to air your topic with the one that you are upset with, because you are clearly upset with your situation.

    I wish you well x
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
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    This post was RIGHT ON. Only wives will get it! LOL :laugh:

    I basically do everything listed in the OPs post, and don't complain about it.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
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    I still think it's silly that raising kids isn't a payable job, or at least doesn't come with some form of wage. Not only are you raising the next generation of our global and economic leaders but you're working around the clock being teacher, cook, housecleaner, and so much more. Funny that a professional nanny can get up to $10.00 but mom gets the 'mommy track' and potentially poverty, especially if they're a PoC or a single parent.
    Silly. Sillysillysilly!
  • chaNyn613
    chaNyn613 Posts: 112 Member
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    I find it amusing so many people took the OP's rant so seriously. She was processing/blowing off steam and doing a little wishing/problem solving. Doesn't mean she doesn't love here SO or kids. She's expressing herself in a forum that is for the most part understanding and supportive. It was funny and spot on.

    Love my hubby - he is amazing! Love my kids- they rock. Was a SAHM for 12 years and I am now in the business world with the goal of make a really good living so I can totally spoil my hubby but you know what I want a wife also :-) And actually, we sort of had one. My brother was stationed in my town with an "indefinite" date of departure. So in lieu of rent he planned the menu, did the grocery shopping, paid for half the food even though he is was 1/5th of the poplulation of the household, fixed most of the dinners and straightened the kitchen in the evenings. But the best part was having more family around for my children. We were really sad when he was reassigned :-(.
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Just someone who can pick up the slack around the house while I go do seemingly unimportant things. Also someone who doesn't mind putting their career on hold and watching the children while I have the freedom to do everything I need and want to do to climb the corporate ladder. Don't get me wrong, just because you are watching the kids doesn't mean you don't have to work. You still will need to work and make sure the house is clean and nobody is hungry. And since I tend to get tired after working all day and eating dinner, I am going to need you to be able to wash the dishes while I sit in front of the television and maybe talk loudly on the phone about something incredible I did in highschool. Then maybe if you have finished helping all the kids with their homework, bathing them, putting them to bed, we can sit down and I can tell you about my incredibly stressful day.

    Hold it down will ya? Im trying to watch the game...
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
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    Whenever I feel sad that I'm not married and don't have kids, a reality check post comes in to smack me upside the head.
    So...sorry for your situation, but thanks for the post.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I still think it's silly that raising kids isn't a payable job, or at least doesn't come with some form of wage. Not only are you raising the next generation of our global and economic leaders but you're working around the clock being teacher, cook, housecleaner, and so much more. Funny that a professional nanny can get up to $10.00 but mom gets the 'mommy track' and potentially poverty, especially if they're a PoC or a single parent. Silly. Sillysillysilly!

    Those people get paid to raise *other* people's kids.

    Precisely who should pay you to raise yours? Nobody pays me to raise my own kids.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    Just break up.

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