Friends with benifits

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Replies

  • MarshallLuke
    MarshallLuke Posts: 177 Member
    Since no one asked for it, here is my advice:
    First, this situation will only work out as two people from equal walks of life come together. Being her teacher you are inherently her superior. You have leverage and experience. You are already starting off with a skewed relationship.
    Secondly, your comment that if she was ugly it would be easy says that yes, you are ready for a superficial relationship of hit it and quit it. But make sure she is completely ready for that.
    Thirdly, when it works, it works very, very well. But when it doesn't, you gotta cut all ties and walk. It doesn't sound like you are ready to do that.
    In conclusion, don't.
  • dmandrews1
    dmandrews1 Posts: 40
    32642176.jpg

    People always catch feelings, make sure it's mutual and for one party to let the other know when the time has come to move on.

    If not they will turn crazy on you and call/text you at 4 in the morning the night before your final exam.

    Sounds like someones had experience with this! haa.
  • olsondre
    olsondre Posts: 198 Member
    Sure! I'll paint your dog :happy:

    Perfect!
  • currierand
    currierand Posts: 155 Member
    Normally I would say two consenting adults should be able to do what they want AS LONG as both are on the same page. That was, until you mentioned the trainer/student relationship. Now you are crossing a line and I think you know that or you wouldn't be questioning it. If for no other reason than your professional reputation, I would not pursue this. Talk to her and be honest, if you are really friends, then she will understand.

    Try the Starbucks down the street. Plenty of hot 19 year olds there and I hear they make coffee.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    No problem as long as you stop short of the bedroom... That can get really complicated... especially if a "third party" develops... and this CAN happen even with "protection"
  • ginaquinn2
    ginaquinn2 Posts: 136 Member
    Seriously I'm not making any moral judgments about it....I am in agreement with someone else who said it never works out. One person generally will develop feelings. How many people do you have in your life that you enjoy this kind of friendship with, that you enjoy working out with? People say they can handle it but the truth is rarely can a man and a woman have sex without it getting complicated and emotions getting involved. Most of us are just not wired like that. So to the question is it wrong? Who am I to judge that, but I sincerely say it probably won't work and someone will be on the loosing end of the deal.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    @davpul she's actually really,really hot. That's why its a problem. If she was ugly it'd be easy.

    I edited that section out when you got to the part where she was a youngster that looks up to you as a person of authority. I no longer care what she looks like. I'm a solid "no" vote now.

    You two aren't friends. She's your client/student. Back back
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    double post.
  • sm1zzle
    sm1zzle Posts: 920 Member
    Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
    Live is boring without risk.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    No problem as long as you stop short of the bedroom... That can get really complicated... especially if a "third party" develops... and this CAN happen even with "protection"
    Seriously? Do adults have relationships where they just make out in movie theatres and the back of cars? Especially when the purpose of the relationship is NOT to date?
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    Missed the student-teacher point... If that is the case, leave it totally alone... This is better left at a professional standpoint -- of course I always prefer same sex trainer-student partnerships anyway if for no other reason that goals and such are so often different...
  • samantha1242
    samantha1242 Posts: 816 Member
    99.9% of the time one person develops feelings. I made that percent up. But mine have 100% failed, crashed, burned, ruined friendships, broken hearts.... I'd advise against unless you lay down the rules and and are on the same page. It's not wrong in my opinion. I've just never experienced a positive outcome.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    I have been with my FWB for 3.5 years. We were friends for 5 years before we even slept together. Has it changed our relationship? On some level yes, on others no. It really depends on you, the person and what you are expecting. When I started sleeping with my friend we had a talk, so we knew both were on the same page and even now, we hang out, we go to movies and dinner and work on cars and drinks - everything we did before but there is no hand holding etc. We were very close to start with and that made a big difference, we could and still can talk about everything. I trust him and he trusts me.

    Friends with benefits is still a relationship of sorts though and if you are not on the same page as the other person it won't work - EVER. he is ALWAYS aware if I am going out on a date with someone and I always know when he is going out on a date with someone - we are best friends he knows everything about me and vice versa. We both also know that if one of us finds someone that we are seriously going to see more than once or twice or thinking about sleeping with someone else the benefits are gone.

    I have however been in an FWB relationships that ended badly - it really depends on the people involved.
  • intrepidity
    intrepidity Posts: 110
    Confession...we've kissed :/
  • icepak24
    icepak24 Posts: 18 Member
    If either person isn't good at compartmentalizing, forget it - it's not going to work.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    @davpul she's actually really,really hot. That's why its a problem. If she was ugly it'd be easy.

    I edited that section out when you got to the part where she was a youngster that looks up to you as a person of authority. I no longer care what she looks like. I'm a solid "no" vote now.

    You two aren't friends. She's your client/student. Back back

    ^ What he said. And then you say confession you've kissed...Dude...*shakes head*
  • TheGlen
    TheGlen Posts: 242 Member
    I have experience with similar situations, and this one in particular has all kinds of red flags...

    1) You know/respect her parents - this will eventually get back to them.
    2) She knows/frequents your place of work - when/if this blows up, it will make the situation very awkward...possibly career damaging.
    3) She is a student of yours - as someone in a power/authoritative position, you should really man up and not take advantage of this.

    HOWEVER...
    You have said multiple times that she is hot, and 21; so it may be worth it :D

    (we'd need to see pictures to know for sure and give you accurate advice)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    ABANDONTHREAD.gif
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    @davpul she's actually really,really hot. That's why its a problem. If she was ugly it'd be easy.

    I edited that section out when you got to the part where she was a youngster that looks up to you as a person of authority. I no longer care what she looks like. I'm a solid "no" vote now.

    You two aren't friends. She's your client/student. Back back

    Mmmhmmm!! Agree!!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Confession...we've kissed :/

    Waiting on confession part 2- she's asleep in your bed and asked for a drawer.
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