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    Mixed Signals!

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    • Posts: 3,958 Member
      show previous quotes

      I must be an exception (: I do love a grilling... It's a prime opportunity to wind my girlfriend up lol

      bad thing...lol
    • Posts: 4,251 Member
      And something you need to remember. If a man wants to spend time with a woman, if he wants to talk to a woman. He will. He'll be there. As much if not more than you want.

      When men distance themselves they have a hard time disappointing a woman. But you need to realize you are better than those kind of games. Just move on. Be happy somewhere else.
    • Posts: 1,689 Member
      Holy textspeak batman! I don't even do that when I am actually sending an sms. I think my eyes might start bleeding.

      That said, it *is* possible that he is actually busy with finals, and then being with his family over the holidays. It is also possible that he has lost interest in talking to you for some other reason. I would not recommend asking him about it, those conversations are just awkward, plus it is easy to sound accusatory and/or clingy. Nothing is more annoying than "why don't you text me anymore :(" (except I'm pretty sure your message wouldn't have that many vowels ;) ). I would send him the occasional message, and follow his lead. You could also ask him general questions that would allow you to see if he has been really busy. The question "what have you been up to lately" is very neutral, but gives him an easy way to tell you how busy he is, or if he has had some other distraction (illness, etc.) if in fact, these things are a factor.

      Sometimes, especially when there is distance but no serious relationship, people just lose interest.
    • Posts: 5,044 Member
      Keep talking to him.
      Sounds like he is just a little busy.
      We get stressed at times, nice to hear from a friend.
      Good luck and don't let the other bs bother you.
      Sometimes people on here just look for a fight.
    • Posts: 33
      Well, I typed something but it wasn't very nice. I made a general statement grouping all men into one category, so I wanted to delete it. Apparently, there are no options for that so here I am, typing something in the little box.
    • Posts: 1,689 Member
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      sorry linds...I disagree.

      Last thing guys like is why? why? why?

      Not just guys, nothing makes me want to spend less time talking to a person quite like having them say something like "why don't you talk to me as much anymore." *shudder*

      Edited to improve clarity.
    • Posts: 1,344 Member
      And something you need to remember. If a man wants to spend time with a woman, if he wants to talk to a woman. He will. He'll be there. As much if not more than you want.

      When men distance themselves they have a hard time disappointing a woman. But you need to realize you are better than those kind of games. Just move on. Be happy somewhere else.

      I partially disagree with that. It depends on the guy.

      I for instance have extreme tunnel vision. If I'm focused on studying, time flies by and before I know it it's 11pm and too late to contact people. I can pass through a week without knowing it. I'll say "okay, tomorrow I'll call ---" and then I get distracted and it happens again and again until it's a month later and I haven't talked to anyone. It's not that I don't care or want to. I just get enveloped in things and temporarily forget everything else.
    • Posts: 39 Member
      dont worry about the typing, I would just ask straight out what the problem is.
    • Posts: 4,375 Member
      Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

      Whoa.
      :noway:
    • Posts: 1,344 Member
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      This is true. Men HATE a ton of questions. Even if they love you...

      They hate it, but it's a means to an end. Would you rather just wait and wonder or get it from the source?
    • Posts: 2,096 Member
      Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

      Bitter party of one your table is now ready.

      Could be the guy is genuinely busy....
    • Posts: 1,344 Member
      show previous quotes

      Whoa.
      :noway:

      And it was her first post ever. Just imagine what other gems she has to offer!
    • Posts: 914 Member
      I won't be nasty about your post. I don't know how old you are but I think it is a good idea to tell him that you know he has been busy and you miss talking as much as you used to. But with the start of a new year, you just wanted to clear the air and be honest with each other. Knowing the truth, even if it hurts, is better than what your imagination will put you through imagining the worst. Good luck.

      This^^
    • Posts: 928 Member
      Well, first of all, it has been my experience that guys don't typically befriend women that they have no romantic interest in. I'm not saying it's NOT possible for a guy to be "just friends" with a woman, but usually there is some level of attraction there.

      But, having said that, his newfound distance does probably indicate that he's placing his attention on someone new. So you have to ask yourself what you want from this guy. If you're in it to win it, keep up with the friendship, but don't get clingy. Maybe it will happen in time, or maybe it won't. Just be yourself.
    • Posts: 1,689 Member
      Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.
      That statement is sexist, men are no more pigs than women. And now that I think about it, it's a little rude to pigs too. Pigs aren't bad creatures, and probably aren't jerks nearly as often as people.
    • Posts: 3,958 Member
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      They hate it, but it's a means to an end. Would you rather just wait and wonder or get it from the source?

      as for me, I didnt say stop speaking to him! Be friendly and intereact, etc...i just meant dont grill him.
    • Posts: 109 Member
      show previous quotes

      Not just guys, nothing makes me want to talk to a person less often than having them say something like "why don't you talk to me as much anymore." *shudder*

      "Because you f***ing bore me"... You'll likely NEVER have to speak to them again! *highfive*
    • Posts: 3,958 Member
      Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

      ew,

      MEN are wonderful.


      go away
    • Posts: 96 Member
      If there's one thing I've learned about men: If you have to wonder whether they "like" you or not, they DON'T.

      I know this hurts. I'm sorry. But I think most guys will agree with me. Even the shy guy next door will find some way to communicate their feelings. "Busy" doesn't count. No man is EVER too busy to show a woman that he's into her...
    • Posts: 195 Member
      Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

      Yeah....don't do that.
    • Posts: 3,958 Member
      show previous quotes

      I partially disagree with that. It depends on the guy.

      I for instance have extreme tunnel vision. If I'm focused on studying, time flies by and before I know it it's 11pm and too late to contact people. I can pass through a week without knowing it. I'll say "okay, tomorrow I'll call ---" and then I get distracted and it happens again and again until it's a month later and I haven't talked to anyone. It's not that I don't care or want to. I just get enveloped in things and temporarily forget everything else.

      right...so I would text you and talk to you...not be all why?why? why?
      and if you were interested you would write back
      its not complicated
    • Posts: 104 Member
      People are just so mean...I've never seen people act and say such mean things to people on this site...But on a brighter note follow your gut instinct and always do whats best for you and never leave or put your well being in anyones hands. Know what you want and don't settle for less.

      I hope this helps.
    • Posts: 68 Member
      One other thing ... In your profile you mention as one of the reasons for joining MFP was that you want to look good for your boyfriend ... What does he think of this "friend " of yours .
    • Posts: 109 Member
      If there's one thing I've learned about men: If you have to wonder whether they "like" you or not, they DON'T.

      I know this hurts. I'm sorry. But I think most guys will agree with me. Even the shy guy next door will find some way to communicate their feelings. "Busy" doesn't count. No man is EVER too busy to show a woman that he's into her...

      My girlfriend occasionally asks if I love her... Apparently smothering her with affection, kisses & being sickeningly complimentary isn't proof enough - I love her to pieces, I think she just struggles to see why - so I don't entirely agree with that, but it's probably spot on in most cases!

      I agree with the last part, there are 24 hours in a day, it takes a matter of seconds to show somebody you care, whatever way you choose to do it.
    • Posts: 4,251 Member
      One other thing ... In your profile you mention as one of the reasons for joining MFP was that you want to look good for your boyfriend ... What does he think of this "friend " of yours .
      Which could be part of the problem. Some dude who is just talking to some chick he isn't committed to...

      Well if she's calling herself his girlfriend that scares the heck out of men.
    • Posts: 1,344 Member
      show previous quotes

      right...so I would text you and talk to you...not be all why?why? why?
      and if you were interested you would write back
      its not complicated

      depends!
    • Posts: 746 Member
      Or maybe he's just busy. Or maybe she's sending mixed signals too. Or maybe he doesn't want to appear too needy/clingy.
    • Posts: 9,578 Member
      I rlly want 2 start the new year off fresh and on a good foot but i don't know if I should talk to him about why he hasn't been contacting me as much?

      No. Do not address the fact that he is otherwise occupied. You are NOT his girlfriend or his wife. You are his friend. Be the friend. Do you nag your friends if they've been busy? No, I doubt it.
      Would that seem intrusive/ give him 2nd thoughts if he didn't already have them?

      YES!
      I mean, he's still really nice when we do talk and he flirts w/ me a bit i think but I'm getting so many mixed signals & I rlly don't know what to do!

      If and when he flirts with you - flirt back. Full Stop. Do not do carryovers. Do not replay one-time moments. If he really likes you like that, you'd know and he'd show it. Move on. Stay busy. Do not be needy. Don't be dependent on his attention via text/skype. He is your friend. Stay within those boundaries. You are obviously open to exploring other possibilities within your friendship, via his signals, only that he is seemingly running hot and cold. Be temperate. Don't push. Have no expectations. Most importantly choose you and don't forget to live.

      EDIT: Adjust quote box.
    • Posts: 1,098 Member
      You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

      Who said Im nice???
    • Posts: 2,756 Member
      show previous quotes

      Goodness me, you're rude. With written skills like yours I would keep quiet. Ellipsis is THREE dots, not four and there would be a space when you've finished with them. You might also like to consider some capital letters and perhaps, an exclamation mark after the word, "Yikes".

      M'kay? :wink:

      Whatever. There is that better?
    This discussion has been closed.

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