husband put pressure on me

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Replies

  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
    If my SO was pressuring me to lose weight, we'd have to have a serious chat.
  • fadingdragon
    fadingdragon Posts: 4
    Why are you on this site? If you need to lose weight, lose weight. If you don't, ignore your husband. But YOU logged on to this website.
    Wow. Just lose weight. Why didn't we all think of that? Why is she on the site? To ask for feedback about an issue of concern, I would have thought that was obvious. I do not usually feel the need to respond to such nonsense but I see you have made a lot of posts and I hope they do not all spew this kind of negativity. That would be sad.
  • bbydl64
    bbydl64 Posts: 30 Member
    I think my husband wants to keep me heavy. I would get hit on all the time when I was thin.
  • ktrn0312
    ktrn0312 Posts: 722 Member
    The impetus & the will has to come from you. Even the most highly & self motivated person has lots of moments where you question why I am doing this. I have had more of those moments especially when you are doing all the right things and the scale is not reflecting any losses. You will not be able to stick will it or if you do then resentment can build up. You can't change someone who doesn't to change themselves. I am sure your husband wants the best for you but, you must want it more for you.
  • 65please
    65please Posts: 4 Member
    Hello I did not expect all this I was just wanting someone in my position to talk to. Thankyou to everyone who took the time to comment . My husband and I have been together for 30 years and the last 8 he has told me 3 times lose weight all the marriage is over the last time was xmas eve that why iam feeling i need someone to talk to who is in the same position . So I lose weight or I lose my husband who I do love very much . He is saying it because he wants me to be healthy and he said I need to love myself which Iam not sure how to do. He said men are visual people. So for years I feel he hates what he sees so I hide my body from him all the time. He is not overweight or drinks alot or smokes , He is a very hard working nice man.Iam 168cm and 83kg which my bmi in overweight. I have been to jenny craig a few times I lose weight , then when i finish i put the weight back on . I read the success stories on here i am amazed how much weight people lose . I need to do this I was just wanting someone to talk about it. Yes i do want to lose weight I do not like what I see but just do not know how . I will not stick to anything for to long i guess that is my problem. As alot of you said I need to want it more. thanks again for all the imput.
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
    But threatening that the marriage over if you don't lose weight is wrong, it's emotional blackmail.

    You need to be encouraged not threatened. Wouldn't it be more effective if he were to tell you how much he loved you and didn't want to lose you early because of weight loss issues.

    I read through this forum and read about the way some guys tell their women that they want them skinny and it makes me cringe. There are ways of going about it and I really don't think this is it.

    You need to find a way that works for you.

    Do YOU want to lose weight?

    If so, what are YOUR motivations? (mine are to fit into clothes that I wouldn't have otherwise have been able to fit into and to live a long and healthy life with hubby. I want as much time with him as possible).

    If you do want to lose weight, identify the problems areas (emotional eating for me) and work on changing it gradually over a period of time. It doesn't work like *bang* magic weight loss. It is an ongoing process.

    Perhaps hubby can encourage you by exercising with you? long walks together or go on bike rides...exercise is essential and something that he can constructively help with..
  • Rhozelyn
    Rhozelyn Posts: 201 Member
    Hi. This brings on a whole new perspective. You are not overweight to the point that your appearance would be drastically changed or to the point that your health suffers physically. A husband who is threatening to divorce you for being slightly overweight has some other issues going on. You only can look at your marriage and see what else is going on. After 30 yrs together threats like that are hurtful and serious. It's important to talk to him about all this as it cannot just be a weight issue. Is he looking for an excuse to leave and use weight as a scapegoat ? Is marriage counselling an option? Best wishes
  • genghis54
    genghis54 Posts: 123 Member
    Brilliant, and his tonge removed!!!!!
  • genghis54
    genghis54 Posts: 123 Member
    Start nagging him to have a manhood enlargement operation.

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