Boyfriend is a Job Jumper
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He says "I will never let a job define me". Uhhh, okayy?
I hate to break it ya, but we ARE defined by our jobs. We are more than our jobs, sure, but our jobs are also who we are.0 -
Sounds like someone hasn't found his place in life yet. Honestly, I'll go out on a limb and say that his personal life is pretty similar, right? Always jumping from one hobby or thing to another... If this guy seems to always be easily distracted by 'new' and 'flash', might want to sit him down and see about getting him checked for ADH or even ADHD. Or he's just hasn't find that job or activity that will keep him engaged... some people are just wired differently. You've already invested 2 yrs - what do you want?0
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Okay guys I need some advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and of course I love him. But he can't keep a job for more than 3 to 6 months. During the time I have been with him he has:
been a general contractor (quit)
opened his own moving business (quit)
GM at Chipotle (quit after a few weeks)
GM at Wendys (got fired)
GM at Hardees (quit)
GM at KFC (got fired)
GM at Perkins (got fired)
Thankfully he has always paid his side of the bills (even if he barely scrapes by until he gets another job). I told him its a problem and he needs to stop doing it because its too stressful on us. Am I just over reacting or what?
I'll try a serious answer. (note I said TRY)
Has he been tested for ADD/ADHD? I totally think this is an overused diagnosis in children (MY OPINION), but I have known a few adults that have been treated for this and have had life altering changes in behavior, to the better. That's one thought.
Also, I would work very hard on being more independent, i.e., be sure you can support the two of you, b/c it's going to get to that point.
^^^^This0 -
Okay guys I need some advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and of course I love him. But he can't keep a job for more than 3 to 6 months. During the time I have been with him he has:
been a general contractor (quit)
opened his own moving business (quit)
GM at Chipotle (quit after a few weeks)
GM at Wendys (got fired)
GM at Hardees (quit)
GM at KFC (got fired)
GM at Perkins (got fired)
Thankfully he has always paid his side of the bills (even if he barely scrapes by until he gets another job). I told him its a problem and he needs to stop doing it because its too stressful on us. Am I just over reacting or what?
This is a sticky one. Personally I don't think you are over reacting. Money is one of the biggest stresses of a relationship, if you are not on the same page.
I don't know how old he is, but he shows a lack of maturity. This is NOT a time to be picky with a job, and the excuse that "not having a job makes it easier to find a better job" is BS. I don't know if that's an excuse he may have given you, but I have had this issue myself with a BF.
It came down to this for me, if you intend to be with him for the long haul, are you prepared to deal with this forever? What is he going to do if you have children (if you want them)? If he can't demonstrate that he is stable enough or mature enough for that matter to hold a job, what is your bottom line?
It really comes down to what you want and what you expect. Because in the long run you can't control him, and if you let him do it why wouldn't he keep doing it?0 -
well considering he does look for a job... what he need is a career...
yeah he may suck at holding a job. but at least he attempts to find one lol..
but i seriously LOL'd at the got fired from all the fast food places.. not trying to be a ****.. but DAMN!
you need to give him and ultimatum.. either tell him that he needs to change or your going to have to leave him because if he is unwilling to hold a job to support him self... or you (god-forbid anything were to happen)
then he isn't willing at all to hold your relationship..
he just needs motivation... just like we all need motivation to get healthy.. considering you already put up with it for the past 2 years i can say you really do care for him and want him to be successful in life.. maybe take him to counselling? figure out what it is that makes him act the way he does.. if all else fails.. you know what to do..0 -
"I'm 6'11" and a former basketball player. Life got the best of me and I am working to get down to my ideal weight"sounds like a loser, sorry, dump him. you think its bad now? imagine being married to him and having to support him because he has issues.
Don't judge till you know the whole story guy0 -
people miss the point here..it's clear this guy WANTS to work, OP dosn't say he sits home unemployed all day, but just seems to pick the same kind of job that clearly arn't the right ones for him. does he have any special skills or passions he could tun to??
Maybe the special skill or talent he should cultivate should be not getting fired from jobs.0 -
Look at the bright side.
At least he doesn't have $100k in student loans weighing him down! or maybe he does and this is worse then we thought...0 -
He'll change after you're married.
If not, a couple of kids'll do the trick!0 -
Thankfully he has always paid his side of the bills.
I guess this doesn't mean anything.0 -
my gf is all pissy cuz i keep weighing my bacon like 8 times a day at diffrent houses ,should i just dump the gf or lay off weighing my bacon when i sleep over at her house?0
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Life is about responsibility and responsibility is about keeping a job to pay your way. If he's leaving jobs without having another job to go to you have a problem. Obv I don't know him but he doesn't sound very mature and if you want a mature/adult relationship he may be the wrong person for you in the long run.0
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Lol. He has actually already worked at Sonic as a GM. Thats the thing... he's 30 years old and has probably had 100 jobs in his life! Its freaking crazy.
Sooo find someone else. You're a pretty girl. You will have no problem finding someone who has some drive in his life.
THIS^ You're gorgeous. Please hold yourself to a higher standard, and find someone good enough for you, and your work ethic.
What also worries me is: he says he "will never let a job define him". It sounds like he is confused on what should and should not define a person. So, what if a little down the road he decides he doesn't want "being your boyfriend" or "being a father" to define him either? Scary thought...0 -
Yeah, tell him he needs to either be a man and start bringing home the bacon, or it's not going to work between you two. If you don't put an end to this, you're setting yourself up for some financial difficulties in the future. Money problems can create big issues in relationships... If he doesn’t grow up and learn to deal with having to go to work, I would leave him...0
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How does he keep getting GM jobs with such a sh!tty track record? Unbelievable
Noo idea! I think he fakes up his Resume to look more reliable.
So not only is he a lousy employee but he's an outright liar. Great marriage material. If you stay with him, expect to spend the rest of your life supporting him. If you're okay with that, great, but if you want someone who will be an equal partner, this guy probably isn't going to meet expectations.0 -
Just break up.
^^^^This0 -
he should get a job where he can tell people how to interview for a job. Apparantly, he is good at it0
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1.Send him to live with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
2. Military school.0 -
My ex-husband was like this. Unfortunately, I believed all the stories he told and it wasn't until we'd been married a while that I realized that he was never going to be stable. It turns out my worst fear was true: If he can't be satisfied with his job, can he ever be satisfied with his woman? Turns out the answer was no and when I knew for sure he was also quitting and starting up with women, we divorced. We met more than 20 years ago. I wished I'd walked when I was only few months in. I didn't want to judge him. But, you can judge his character and his work history without judging him. That's fair enough. Believe you me, you don't want the father of your children struggling for gas money at 50. More power to you. Go in peace.0
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He'll change after you're married.
For the worse......0 -
Well apparently the economy is on the ups.0
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At lest he is keeping a his tax preparer busy!0
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It is totally dependent on what you want out of life. Do you want stability or do you always want to live on the wild side? Do you want kids and is it fair to have them knowing you may not always be able to support them in the manner that you would like to. Will you end up resenting him knowing that you are working your tail off to pay the bills and he is not holding up his end? He is 30 years old. If he has not matured enough to be responsible by now he never will.0
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You think you're worried now? Wait till you have children.
HAHA....THERE IS NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH THAT I COULD SLEEP AT NIGHT.0 -
I just don't understand how people like that can still keep getting jobs, yet people who have held jobs forever are having such a hard time finding work. Kind of makes me sick.
^^ my thoughts exactly. I was down-sized after eleven years and have bee out of work since September.
Maybe he is not cut out for the restaurant business and needs to try something else. However, quitting without another job being lined up and being fired says alot about his character. We've all had jobs we hate but as an adult you have to make the best of it until something better comes along.
How is he with you? Does he want to break up every time you fight?0 -
Yikes! Unfortunately his work ethic HAS defined him.
You obviously care for him or you wouldn't still be with him or you have issues also. What makes me happy won't make you happy. Look out for you and do what you think is best. Living together and dating is just a dress rehearsal for a more permanent relationship. How he is now, in a time he should be trying to impress you, is how he'll be later. If he knows you'll put up wih it, he has no incentive to change.
Best of luck to you. :flowerforyou:0 -
he should get a job where he can tell people how to interview for a job. Apparantly, he is good at it
right? LOL0 -
As a mother I would not want my daughter to be with an unreliable man like that. Leave him, you deserve a steady man who you can count on. Good luck.0
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Been married 12 years to a man that job jumps, but not as bad as him. It is better (with age) but still can be difficult. If you are not over the moon or this worries you. I would bail now my friend! Take it from me.0
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Baby what you see, is what you get. Don't take on a construction project, it won't work.
QFT!
He has shown you who he is, believe him. Please.0
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