Boyfriend is a Job Jumper
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Run....now.....0
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The truth is...you know the answer. Trust yourself. You don't need our input or evaluation on a situation you are an eyewitness too. He is crashing and burning and you are watching it. Do what your gut tells you to do, love does not mean you have to continue watching someone ruin their life and stress yours.0
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When my husband and I got married he had a steady job in the military. Then after he got out he job swapped a few times like that. I can honestly say it almost caused a divorce and forced us to separate because we had no financial resources to take care of our family after all the swapping. Do not voluntarily do it. You need to tell him to just "man up" and deal with it.0
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The truth is...you know the answer. Trust yourself. You don't need our input or evaluation on a situation you are an eyewitness too. He is crashing and burning and you are watching it. Do what your gut tells you to do, love does not mean you have to continue watching someone ruin their life and stress yours.
THIS0 -
My boyfriend was a job jumper for awhile, too. I've been with him 2.5 years and he went from throwing newspapers to working for a sand blasting company, to working at Auto Zone, to working at McDonalds in a 1.5 year span. Now, he works with me for my parent's company..
He always said "I want to work to live, not live to work" and got bored with jobs SO easily. He has stuck with his current job for a year now, which is the longest he has ever been at a single job. The difference with this job is it feels more...permanent I guess you could say. He has responsibilities that only he can take care of so people rely on his knowledge. He says it's more enjoyable for him because he feels like he is being paid for his skills instead of his time.
Maybe suggest trying to settle into a career to him. From the sounds of it, he has really only worked at places that will give him a paycheck instead of a future with the company. Feeling important in what you do makes so much of a difference, in my opinion.0 -
I dont think there is any reason in dumping him if you truly love him.
OP, please dont listen to this. Love does not conquer all. Love is, indeed, a big and important component of a lasting partnership, but it isn't the only factor. Common goals, beliefs, standards and ethics are also very important. I grew up hearing stories of how my father and his siblings lived- it was not easy, because my grandfather, albeit very intelligent, was lazy. He couldn't keep a job, and it was up to my grandmother to both raise the children AND try to bring in an income. Consequently, they always struggled. She loved him despite the hardship, but I don't think it's what she had envisioned for herself. I highly doubt that is the life you want; nor can I imagine that is the kind of life the above commenter wants for herself.0 -
Run far, far away as fast as you can. A very good friend of mine married a guy like this. She actually thought he would get his **** together once they got married...become more responsible, etc, etc, etc. The exact opposite has occured...he has gotten worse. He hasn't worked now in over 2 years and doesn't even bother faking it anymore by looking and acting like he's trying to hold down a job...he's a lazy *kitten* and doesn't want to work. They scrape by on her $15/hr and she's absolutely misserable going to work everyday while he sits at home and plays xbox. I've tried to convince her to get out, but she still insists that he'll grow up one of these days...he's 36 friggin years old, it aint gonna happen.0
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Fine someone new.
But first punch him in the balls.
It's pretty clear he doesn't need them for anything.0 -
wow- this is up to 100 posts.. thats almost as many jobs as this guys had.
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The truth is...you know the answer. Trust yourself. You don't need our input or evaluation on a situation you are an eyewitness too. He is crashing and burning and you are watching it. Do what your gut tells you to do, love does not mean you have to continue watching someone ruin their life and stress yours.
^^^This right here.0 -
Okay guys I need some advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and of course I love him. But he can't keep a job for more than 3 to 6 months. During the time I have been with him he has:
been a general contractor (quit)
opened his own moving business (quit)
GM at Chipotle (quit after a few weeks)
GM at Wendys (got fired)
GM at Hardees (quit)
GM at KFC (got fired)
GM at Perkins (got fired)
Thankfully he has always paid his side of the bills (even if he barely scrapes by until he gets another job). I told him its a problem and he needs to stop doing it because its too stressful on us. Am I just over reacting or what?
RUN.
NOW.0 -
Okay guys I need some advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and of course I love him. But he can't keep a job for more than 3 to 6 months. During the time I have been with him he has:
been a general contractor (quit)
opened his own moving business (quit)
GM at Chipotle (quit after a few weeks)
GM at Wendys (got fired)
GM at Hardees (quit)
GM at KFC (got fired)
GM at Perkins (got fired)
Thankfully he has always paid his side of the bills (even if he barely scrapes by until he gets another job). I told him its a problem and he needs to stop doing it because its too stressful on us. Am I just over reacting or what?
RUN.
NOW.
I was going to say the same thing .... RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.0 -
How does he keep getting GM jobs with such a sh!tty track record? Unbelievable
Noo idea! I think he fakes up his Resume to look more reliable.
Um... are you sure he's really HAD these jobs?
Saw a woman on Dr. Phil the other day - her husband FAKED having a job for over a year.... would call/text her on his supposed "breaks" and on his "lunches"....... no joke.0 -
sounds like a loser, sorry, dump him. you think its bad now? imagine being married to him and having to support him because he has issues.
Exactly.. I don't ever want to support somebody else.
You've answered this one. RUN LIKE THE WIND. I've dated this guys twin, and it wasn't serious, and I was willing to pay both his and my share, because he was a nice guy...but you don't want that. Thus....time to move on. You can't fix them.0 -
He is a loser. Dump him.0
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"I'm 6'11" and a former basketball player. Life got the best of me and I am working to get down to my ideal weight"sounds like a loser, sorry, dump him. you think its bad now? imagine being married to him and having to support him because he has issues.
Don't judge till you know the whole story guy
Are you the boyfriend??!!0 -
Marry him.............get a huge life insurance policy...............then......................
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
just
break
up0 -
Sounds like he needs to pursue his passion.0
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If you are truley stressed out about your financial future (which I understand), then you need to make him aware of this. And at 30 yrs old, this is the point he needs to sit down and think of a long term employement option and work towards the future. It's not just money, it's the job security, potential health and dental benefits, what if you were injured and he had to pay for all the bills for a while, would it be possible? These are things that not only you should be worried about alone, these stresses should be shared between you two. If I were you I would make it very clear to him that you need that security to clear your mind of stress
Maybe if he understands that you are serious and that this habit of his really does bother you, maybe it will incourage him to put more effort into a long term option
My bf was struggling living pay cheque to pay cheque and barely getting by before we started dateing. Now 2 years later he has fixed his credit alot and is currently on a reasonable payment plan to pay off what little debt he has left I tell him regularly that I am very proud of the progress he has made! Also, as a bonus we've actually been able to SAVE money each month for the past few months. Honestly it feels so awesome to not have to worry about how we are going to pay the bills, and now that he is aware of this too he doesn't want to go back to where he was before.
Anyways, talk about it before it gets worst
Edit: If you have already tried this "talk" before and he refuses to change, I would probably run. My boyfriend changed because he WANTED to change. You can't force someone to change and it's not your responsibility. Best of luck with whatever you choose to do 0 -
Firstly, I am baffled by the fact that people can jump from job to job like this and still get hired yet our unemployment rate is where it is in America.
Secondly, ef that. I would say it could all be circumstantial but if he is getting fired that often he clearly is not putting any effort forward.
You are what you surround yourself with.0 -
I can tell you that he's not likely to change. I have a son like this who is way behind on child support for 3 children because he just can't hold onto a job. He's really charming, too; easy to love. That's part of the frustration.0
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My big question would be WHY? Why has he quit or been fired? Carelessness, poor time-keeping, violence? Does he think he's better than other people? What is going on?
I once had a long chat with a friend's husband. Lovely, sweet father to his kids and excellent company, but kept getting into fights if he tried working indoors. He could work outside, but indoors he just couldn't cope.
I wouldn't choose to live like that, but it seemed to work for that very nice family. The mother was training to work in schools and they seemed genuinely happy. Maybe if my taxes weren't there as a safety net he might have managed to stick at those jobs, but I am glad they don't have to suffer too much.
So, back to the OP's situation. What are the whys?0 -
He won't let a job define him? It's his lack of a job and poor work history that has defined him!
I just went a year being casual through an employment agency while i changed careers (completely changed from bakery to construction) and it was the most horrible period of my life after working the past 10 years straight never being out of a job, he needs to grow up and work out where he's going in life and what he wants, if he can't hold a job he's not going to have savings, doubtful to buy a house, his future planning is definitely lacking, can't provide for you or a family...
Like everyone else here has said, run as fast as you can0 -
Sooooooo.......he is able to commit to something until it becomes difficult, less-than-fun, or otherwise not EXACTLY what he wants? RUN DON'T WALK, and make sure you have COMPLETELY reliable birth control until you're gone!!!!!! (Cuz the only thing worse than being married to/supporting a chronic loser indefinitely is raising kids-alone?- that grow up to mimic the patterns they've observed in dear ole dad!)
The fact that you posted shows you KNOW this is a big one......... what does he say when you ASK him about his issues staying in a job?
Hope this turns out well for you, in any case.
He says "I will never let a job define me". Uhhh, okayy?
well, hes not. he's letting "unemployable" define him.0 -
Larry Brown has been known to be a job jumper as a basketball coach, but he's produced results in most of his stops.
I'm actually really impressed at how well your bf interviews if he gets these job offers considering how unemployment has been.0 -
The truth is...you know the answer. Trust yourself. You don't need our input or evaluation on a situation you are an eyewitness too. He is crashing and burning and you are watching it. Do what your gut tells you to do, love does not mean you have to continue watching someone ruin their life and stress yours.
This. It seems to me you knew the answer when you wrote this thread. If you two were teens or early 20s, just starting out, then I'd say he might change, but he is a 30 year old adult. You owe it to yourself and your future to have a SERIOUS talk with him and if he isn't able (or willing) to have a better work ethic than you would probably do better to find a new mate. Just imagine this man as the father of your children? No, money isn't everything, but having stability and someone you can count on means a lot.
Good luck to you.
Kelly0 -
I fell in love with my husband because he was cute, and funny, and charming, and fun to be around.
I love my husband after 10 years of marriage because he gets up every day and goes to a job he dislikes, everyday, and works hard to support his family.
Responsibility is sexy.0 -
What does he really want to do?0
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He'll change after you're married.
lol0
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