Boy do I need to move out.

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Replies

  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,089 Member
    I think the OP has a point if, like she said, she is the only one who eats the items she has asked her mom not to purchase. If that's the case, what is it, other than sabotage?

    habit
    her mom buys them for a long time, so she probably got them before even thinking.
    My mom buys me foods I don't eat anymore (I tend to eat some food like all the time and then after few months never touch it again) but I don't get mad at her, I just remind her, mom I don't like that anymore.
  • mollylookalike
    mollylookalike Posts: 60 Member
    if you're the "only one that eats them" - THROW THEM AWAY. Tell her you're doing this, and she's just throwing money away. Or have her put them somewhere you can't see them if someone else is going to eat them.
  • CaoimheAine
    CaoimheAine Posts: 195
    You're 21 and you're scolding your mom for buying certain unnamed grocery items. Yes, its time to move out.

    Buy your own food for God's sake, I have been since I was 17. I also moved out last year. Get a job and save up, it's time to become a little more independant my dear...
  • SelfHelpJunky
    SelfHelpJunky Posts: 205 Member
    Well, I suppose you'll have to live alone, then. What if you have roommates that bring home junk food? Or an SO? Or when co-workers bring in junk to the workplace (which happens a lot)? Unfortunately, you just have to learn to deal. The world doesn't stop just because I'm eating differently.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
    My mom knows i'm counting my calories and going to the gym (since we go together, lol) and i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items. Yesterday she walks in the door with one of the items i didn't want. Today? Did it again with another one i mentioned. I scold her for it and she just laughs and says "don't eat them" when she knows how hard that's going to be for me, as they're my favorite and i'm the only one in the family that eats them.

    I feel like the only way to stop this is to move out and buy my own groceries. yikes..

    Oh damn.

    First thing, your 21 years old, its time to move out.

    Second thing, you are in HER house and telling her what SHE buys with HER money at the grocery store is inconsiderate. Buy your own food if you don't like it.

    Third. Temptation is everywhere and no one is to blame for eating "bad food" but you.

    I'm sorry if I am blunt but I get a sense of entitlement from you and that gets under my skin. I have worked for everything I have since I was 16 years and on on my own. Time to buck up.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    I hear you girl. I have to exact same problem. I say just throw the food away. That will piss her off and then maybe she won't do it again. Another thing that you could do is go grocery shopping with her so then you can be absolutely sure that she won't buy any of your problem foods.

    Thank you for this post. I though I was a brat when I lived at home, you make me look like a saint. I'm 25 and if my kid did that I would either make them go replace it all with their own money or let them go be responsible for their OWN adult life...

    For real though, when 21 year olds are complaining about what groceries their parents buy, and admitting to throwing them away,I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
  • MissSusieQ
    MissSusieQ Posts: 533 Member
    you do not need to move out. of course right now it probably feels like this incredibly unfair and oppressive setup, but i guarantee you'll look back someday and realise how sweet you've got it.

    and, as others have said, just don'teat the food. set your shoulders, put on your stubborn face, and refuse to play ball. don't throw it out, that's wasteful, and (i think) rude. look at it this way - you didn't buy it, you didn't ask for it, so it's obviously not your food to eat, give away OR dispose of!

    plus, if your mum really is trying to sabotage you, leaving it sitting on the shelf untouched is a gentle 'up yours' in her direction. and, if you're tempted to cave in, just think 'if i open that packet, she's going to know i caved, and she'd going to know not to take me seriously next time i ask her not to buy something'

    i know you said this food is your favourite, but as others have said, temptation is everywhere, and you are just going to have to suck it up and be strong. use that food as a catalyst to change!
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    Honestly, you sound like a brat. "I told her numerous times not to buy them and what does she do".. Oh the horror.

    If you don't like what she buys, then go with her and pick out choices or write it down.
  • lucasriggs
    lucasriggs Posts: 131
    Throw it out.

    I used to do it all the time when I got brought crappy foods.
  • jlemoore
    jlemoore Posts: 702 Member
    You're 21 and you're scolding your mom for buying certain unnamed grocery items. Yes, its time to move out.

    ^^^ this.
  • LaStefany
    LaStefany Posts: 26 Member
    I'm 20. Can't afford to buy my own groceries, let alone move out. My Dad is a huge food junkie and so are my sisters. I seem to be the only one with healthy food on my mind. BUT, at the same time we're all trying to eat more healthy so everyone's trying.

    When my Dad or my Sister buy unhealthy food, food I really like; Chips, Twizzlers (omg, twizzlers), Donuts (i love u), French Fries, Mello Yello, etc. Or if they're all going out to eat DQ. I just say no thanks and have baby carrots, or a piece of fruit, even just drinking water can help you realize you don't need or really want that stuff.

    Some times it's harder to say no, like when it's THAT time of the month, haha. That's when it's time to summon WILL POWER. Whenever I get tempted I just think to myself: "Don't give up on what you want most for what you want right now."
    And, if it's really bad, go out for a walk (or do some kind of exercise) and you'll feel much better and won't even take a peek at the unhealthy food in front of you because you know you deserve better than that.

    Fact is, you can't control your mother, you can only control yourself.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    ...i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items.
    I scold her for it ...

    You are 21 years old.
    Buy your own damn groceries.
    If my 21 year old scolded me ... they'd be moved out - immediately.
  • FrenchMob
    FrenchMob Posts: 1,167 Member
    Groceries aside, you're 21 and still living with your mom. Time to move out regardless.
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
    she just laughs and says "don't eat them"

    I agree with your mom.

    If they were foods that the mother and others in the house eat, i would agree. However, the OP stated they're things only she likes. That would make it seem like the mother either doesn't care or is purposely trying to sabatoge her daughter; neither of which are cool.

    Move out, OP. Yeah, it costs more, but the freedom is worth it.
  • kitka82
    kitka82 Posts: 350 Member
    Not that I don't sympathize, but that's the way life is. I can't expect my husband to stop buying his favorites just because it's hard for me to avoid eating them. Your mom is well within her rights as long as she isn't spending your money.

    YUP! I'm thankful that my husband doesn't like sweets. He likes CHEESE CURLS. :)

    Yeah so stay in your mom's house and buy your own food or move out... and buy your own food.

    I work in an office where there are always cakes, donuts, and other crap. I bring my own food to work, and that keeps me on track.
  • MKO529
    MKO529 Posts: 1 Member
    buy your own food. Time to be an adult!
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
    My mom knows i'm counting my calories and going to the gym (since we go together, lol) and i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items. Yesterday she walks in the door with one of the items i didn't want. Today? Did it again with another one i mentioned. I scold her for it and she just laughs and says "don't eat them" when she knows how hard that's going to be for me, as they're my favorite and i'm the only one in the family that eats them.

    I feel like the only way to stop this is to move out and buy my own groceries. yikes..

    Food and tempting items are going to be everywhere always, so you need to learn self control.
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    By the time I was your age I was married, with a baby and running a house. My mum stopped buying my groceries when I was 16! And, funnily enough, I didn't need to tell my husband what food he could and couldn't bring into the house, he could bring in whatever he chose, didn't mean I had to eat it. Grow up!
  • dahkneeka
    dahkneeka Posts: 163 Member
    Excellent opportunity to practise self control.

    My best method- out of site, out of mind. I put my cookies in the cabniet I dont go in, however, if I REALLY want one, I wait, have some water then see if I still 'NEED' one.
  • hamiltonba
    hamiltonba Posts: 474 Member
    If you're the only one who eats them, take them and throw them away.
  • emilym_3
    emilym_3 Posts: 62
    if she's buying them just for you, throw them away as soon as she brings them in the house. she'll stop wasting money soon.
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
    she just laughs and says "don't eat them"

    I agree with your mom.

    I agree as well. You are going to be surrounded by things that will tempt you no matter where you go. But in the end the choice has got to be yours. YES it will be hard knowing they are there but that is part of the process.. learning to control what you put into your body. Yes it would be nice if your mom would work with you on this but she should not have to alter what she is doing to accomodate you.. No one else in the world is going to so starting to learn that self discipline at home is actually a good thing! I wish you the best of luck!
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
    Moving out isn't going to solve this.
    This will be something you will always face. I live with my fiance who is trying to GAIN weight, can you imagine the types of things we have in our apartment?
    The truth is you most likely are not the only person who likes the things your mother is buying, other people in the house probably like it too. I highly double your mom is trying to sabotage your weight loss.
    You could start purchasing your own groceries if you feel like there is all junk and no healthy food in your house?
    if she's buying them just for you, throw them away as soon as she brings them in the house. she'll stop wasting money soon.

    I wanted to second this!
  • Hazel2005
    Hazel2005 Posts: 175 Member
    It's no different than anywhere else you would go that has temptations. You just have to say no to yourself. I think the difference here is that because it is your mom, you take it as a personal sabotage attempt or giving you no support. Everything around us will remain the same while we try to change ourselves, temptations, testing our will..... perhaps this is her way of testing you (as annoying as it may seem). You got this!
  • samf36
    samf36 Posts: 369 Member
    You scold your mother? Who's house is it? Who bought the food? I would have shown my child the door if they would have scolded me in my home for the food I bought. Get your own place and buy your own food problem solved.
  • RushBabe214
    RushBabe214 Posts: 469 Member
    ...i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items.
    I scold her for it ...

    You are 21 years old.
    Buy your own damn groceries.
    If my 21 year old scolded me ... they'd be moved out - immediately.

    ^^This. smdh
  • SuperDelta30
    SuperDelta30 Posts: 2
    I agree living at home with people who buy all your favorite foods you are trying not to eat as much SUCKS!
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,300 Member
    ...i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items.
    I scold her for it ...

    You are 21 years old.
    Buy your own damn groceries.
    If my 21 year old scolded me ... they'd be moved out - immediately.

    I would have been in DEEP trouble if I tried to "scold" my mother. The only time I am allowed to "scold" her would be when she doesn't eat/drink/do her workouts right now but that is because she is fighting cancer and I was told by her I am allowed to do so. If I told her she couldn't buy a specific food and bring it into HER house... well, she would have laughed in my face. It doesn't matter if I was the only person who ate it.

    And no person can sabotage you. Only YOU can allow it to happen.

    So, to be blunt, you need to get over it and deal.
  • cynthiatwayne
    cynthiatwayne Posts: 71
    When I came home from work yesterday, my husband had prepared for me 4 slices of fresh mozzarella drizzeled with balsamic vinegar with a glass of my favorite wine. He knew full well that I was determined to eat my choices which I had already made for the day...and it did not include his "trreat". I thanked him profusely for his kindness but once again stated my intenetions and then proceeded to disgard the food and the wine (that was painful...lol). My point is some people use food to control, sabotage our intentions for their own reasons....that's their problem but it doesn't have to be ours.

    No need to move out just not want the food more than she wants you to have it.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    My mom knows i'm counting my calories and going to the gym (since we go together, lol) and i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items. Yesterday she walks in the door with one of the items i didn't want. Today? Did it again with another one i mentioned. I scold her for it and she just laughs and says "don't eat them" when she knows how hard that's going to be for me, as they're my favorite and i'm the only one in the family that eats them.

    I feel like the only way to stop this is to move out and buy my own groceries. yikes..

    If you are truely the only one in the house who eats those things, then she is sabatoging you. However, if others do eat those things, the questions really is, do you have the right to deny them because you lack control? Sounds like a family discussion is in order. Ask them all to be more supportive and not have stuff in the house you have a problem with. If that doesn't work and you are of age and can afford to move out, go for it.

    It's me and my husband and there are certain things I have banned from the house because I can't leave them alone. He's fine with it, and if he really wants them, he can eat them when I'm not around. You can't do that with an entire family though, so either everyone is on board or it might just be time to move out.

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