Do you view someone's success differently if......

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  • threeonethree
    threeonethree Posts: 182 Member
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    I always had mixed feelings on weight loss surgery. Then I saw my uncle get it a few months back and it has changed his life. So proud of him. It's not as easy as it looks thats for sure.
  • BogQueen1
    BogQueen1 Posts: 320 Member
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    I have a close friend who has had weight loss surgery. She lost a significant amount of weight, but since she's a gaming addict, she got stuck because she never changed her habits. She has gained and lost 10 or 20 or so pounds for a couple years now, she never made exercise a habit, and she also never made it to 'one derland'. To all those people who say 'they lost weight before the surgery, why didn't they keep doing it till goal'? I asked her the same question. Apparently the diet you are on pre surgery is VERY similar to the post surgery diet, caloric intakes in the 4-600 calorie range, no more then half a cup of food at a time. ie: very unsustainable long term.

    I myself could never have the surgery. It seems so barbaric, cutting out a piece of a system that's so VITAL to your health and survival. We are just finding out that a large part of our nervous system is in our digestive tracts (the parasympathetic system I believe, almost a second brain) and it also contains a large portion of our immune system. The old adage that you are what you eat is completely true.

    What I didn't agree with was when I expressed my concerns to her, and told her my point of view, she flat out said to me 'well you will never succeed on a diet, you have been fat for so long, you will continue to be grossly obese and your body will never be where you want it to be. Then when you are 45 and completely miserable because you are so disgustingly fat, maybe then you will see that weight loss surgery is the only effective way to actually lose weight and keep it off and stop with this silly diet stuff'.

    :noway: :frown: :sad: :grumble:
  • AbbieZabba
    AbbieZabba Posts: 110
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    I only walk in my shoes, so, NO!
  • CricketWhiskers
    CricketWhiskers Posts: 64 Member
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    So many great responses from both sides! :)

    I made it a point not to say "Judge" in my OP and I was surprised so many people were throwing that word around. When I said I 'view' someone's success differently if they've had weight loss surgery, I never implied that it was cheating or that they deserved their success any less because of it. To my personal frame of reference I find it more inspiring to see people succeeding in getting fit and healthy through diet and exercise alone, in other words the way that I've chosen to do it. Just as I'm sure people who have lost weight with the help of tools like WLS like to see people who have had similar procedures go on and succeed with their fitness goals.
  • PaveGurl
    PaveGurl Posts: 244 Member
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    Not really. I used to have a gut response that initially felt like "that's cheating!"

    But then I had several friends who've had a bariatric surgery, and some of them ahve actually *gained* weight because they thought it was a magic bullet, too. In the end, it requires discipline, too. If the surgery guidelines are followed afterwards, they find themselves in a worse position than before.

    So, while I used to, I don't now. It's just as much discipline to eat properly and exercise to reap the benefits.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    So many great responses from both sides! :)

    I made it a point not to say "Judge" in my OP and I was surprised so many people were throwing that word around. When I said I 'view' someone's success differently if they've had weight loss surgery, I never implied that it was cheating or that they deserved their success any less because of it. To my personal frame of reference I find it more inspiring to see people succeeding in getting fit and healthy through diet and exercise alone, in other words the way that I've chosen to do it. Just as I'm sure people who have lost weight with the help of tools like WLS like to see people who have had similar procedures go on and succeed with their fitness goals.

    Although you didn't say "judge", isn't that what you did? And I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing. (My own contributions to this topic were mostly consistent with yours.) But when you make a distinction between different methods of attaining a goal, aren't you judging those methods? It doesn't have to be malicious, or even intentional, but it is still judgment. People consistently throw around the word "judging" as if it is always a bad thing.

    (I'll admit, I haven't taken the time to actually look up the definition of the word, so I could be completely wrong here.)
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
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    So many great responses from both sides! :)

    I made it a point not to say "Judge" in my OP and I was surprised so many people were throwing that word around. When I said I 'view' someone's success differently if they've had weight loss surgery, I never implied that it was cheating or that they deserved their success any less because of it. To my personal frame of reference I find it more inspiring to see people succeeding in getting fit and healthy through diet and exercise alone, in other words the way that I've chosen to do it. Just as I'm sure people who have lost weight with the help of tools like WLS like to see people who have had similar procedures go on and succeed with their fitness goals.
    I'm gonna go ahead and judge you here & say that I think you're doing some judging. I don't see what's wrong with that though. Every decision we make should be done with some judgement. Judging needn't be bad. "good judgment" "judicious" "judge of the change" (poor *kitten*, but at least his grandson went on to become god emperor.)

    Anyway, back on topic, I find non-WLS success to be more RELEVANT to my situation, but I also find non-1200 calorie diets to be more relevant, and 100+lb losses, and non-low-fat diets, and people who don't exercise 7 days a week. That doesn't make those peoples' success any less admirable, just less relevant to me personally.
  • Bmontgomery613
    Bmontgomery613 Posts: 200 Member
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    Yes and no. Kudos to them to doing whatever it takes to lose their weight, and I am happy for them. However, I have a lot more admiration and respect for people who have lost a similar amount of weight through non surgical means.

    I feel the same and I apologize to anyone for whom that's offensive. I'm sure it's because I'm trying to do this with only diet and exercise and am looking for motivators and success stories that I can relate to. I have a friend who just had it done and I will admit that I'm a bit jealous of her initial weight loss. Last year, I screamed and clawed and counted every calorie and worked my bum off for hours on end to lose 49lbs (the holidays got me and I gained some back). She had the surgery and lost 40lbs within 8 weeks, so yeah, my jealousy radar went off and it did make me mad. I'm human. But, I am proud of her for taking the steps to improve her life. I just know that it's not the right path for me and so I will look for my inspiration in people who are losing weight the way that I am choosing to lose weight.
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    So many great responses from both sides! :)

    I made it a point not to say "Judge" in my OP and I was surprised so many people were throwing that word around. When I said I 'view' someone's success differently if they've had weight loss surgery, I never implied that it was cheating or that they deserved their success any less because of it. To my personal frame of reference I find it more inspiring to see people succeeding in getting fit and healthy through diet and exercise alone, in other words the way that I've chosen to do it. Just as I'm sure people who have lost weight with the help of tools like WLS like to see people who have had similar procedures go on and succeed with their fitness goals.

    I think you're splitting hairs. In the original post, you mentioned "viewing" their profile and then changing the way you felt about their loss if the profile mentioned WLS. Call it whatever you want, but learning that they used a mechanism that you did not elect to use made you feel differently about their loss... and I'm not so sure you'd change your opinion that way based on what diet they chose (Paleo, Atkins, Zone, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig) or what workouts they did (Crossfit, Heavy Lifting, Mostly Cardio, etc.) as long as you saw good old fashioned "diet and exercise" rather than "I had WLS, and have changed my diet and exercise according to the aftercare guidelines for my surgery."

    I'm not sure when "judgment" became such a dirty word. As humans, it is in our very nature to judge. In fact, it's a significant factor that helped determine where we are on the food chain. The human running from the bear in your ticker made a judgment call. Pretty necessary survival skill, and not something we should spend a whole lot of time denying.

    ETA: I wrote my response prior to reading Jof's and Josh's responses. Amusing.
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
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    I don't, because I know people who have had weight loss surgery and I know it is not an easy way out. Even with the surgery you can still gain weight and be overweight, not to mention it severely limits what you can eat. They have to be hyper aware of what they eat, and have to work out just like everyone else. It is by no means a quick fix.

    Then why have it? That's why I think it's stupid. Why waste all that money if you're going to have to watch what you eat and work out anyway and could still gain it back?

    You need to get past your tunnel vision and stop thinking you have all the answers. If you (or anyone else) had all the answers, you wouldn't be here. And your profile says you are new so ... Maybe you don't know.

    I'm not trying to be mean here but you seem to have this idea this is all so easy, and it isn't. If losing weight were easy, everyone would be thin. Or they wouldn't start and stop 100,000,000 times.

    I'm not new. I've been on MFP since July. I created a new profile. See my ticker? I didn't lose that weight in two weeks. :tongue:
  • marvybells
    marvybells Posts: 1,984 Member
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    No, I do not. One of my dearest friends in this world had a gastric bypass. It was no picnic for her & definitely not an easy way out...

    We met in grade school and became best buds practically overnight. I was the skinny gal who could eat everything & not gain a pound, my friend was just the opposite. (Physically we may be polar opposites, but inside we are like 2 peas in a pod...) Through the years i watched her struggle trying to lose weight using diet and exercise, but she never seemed to make any progress. I know she was really trying hard and It broke my heart.

    After the surgery, I watched her struggle continue with a long recovery process. She had problems healing and was left with a nasty scar on her abdomen. For the longest time she had an inability to keep down more than a few bites of food. She tried to force feed herself protein supplements to make sure her intake was high enough (dr's orders) but it would make her sick. Sugar & fats seemed to be triggers and she could no longer tolerate alcohol. Sometimes literally just ONE bite of a certain food would make her sick. (In time this did go away and she can now eat "normal" sized portions but must continue to supplement with protein & vitamins)

    She never did reach her ultimate goal weight, she lost about 2/3 of it then got pregnant about a year after the surgery so the weight loss halted. Some of it came back on after 3 pregnancies, but she is still about half of the size today that she was prior to the surgery. She is able to be active with her kids & doesn't have all the health problems that she had before.

    So from my perspective, i know how tough my friend's journey was both pre & post surgery, and I'm extremely proud of her for what she has accomplished. If i see that someone had surgery i do not assume anything.
  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member
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    There are a few people I know who had it because they were going to die soon without it. There are also a few people I know who deliberately gained until they met the surgical criteria. Not all surgical weight loss patients are equal.

    When people have surgeries that cause their bodies to not absorb portions of the calories they eat they have an advantage those who diet and exercise alone do not have. They report lower amounts of hunger on average as well. Would I like those advantages? Hell YES. It would make weight loss so much easier for me. I'm just not willing to gain weight to get the surgery.

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