Boy do I need to move out.

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Replies

  • jsenecal12
    jsenecal12 Posts: 42
    You're scolding your mother and giving her orders? Yeah, maybe you should move out, it might help you mature a bit.
  • MystikPixie
    MystikPixie Posts: 342 Member
    If mom is paying for them then there is no debate, she can get what she wants, I wouldnt even argue.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I joined the military. They didn't give a crap what I wanted for lunch either.
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    The number of self-righteous people in this thread make my head hurt. Holy moly.

    OP, I didn't try to make this lifestyle change until I was in my 30s so you're worlds ahead of me. If I was still living at home I'm sure I'd have the same temptations always. Although in my case it wouldn't be stuff only I ate. My whole family has been overweight due to bad eating habits that are hell to break.

    Trigger foods are awful (mine are french fries and chocolate) and the fact that your mother buys them knowing they're triggers is not good. I agree with the idea of portioning them out so you can have one every once in awhile, or trying to ignore them altogether (which I know is easier said than done). Hopefully at some point she'll realize you're not eating them or are only eating them very rarely and she'll stop. Good luck!
  • melinda3792
    melinda3792 Posts: 77
    "don't eat them"
    I agree with your mom too :\ Sorry, but put it in a Mom's perspective. If you weren't trying to lose weight, a mom still has to buy certain foods for her kids that may or may not help her own diet but you have to have the willpower to not eat that food. If you don't have will power now living with her and the food, you won't have the will power on your own when she isn't around to tsk tsk you when you grab that bag of chips.
  • melinda3792
    melinda3792 Posts: 77
    ummm yes hun it time to move out.. Your 21 get some room mates and have fun,,,,
    Unless she is making some money, which obviously she isn't a) at 21 and b ) living under mum's roof, she won't be having fun. Having roommates will make matters worse as they would still be sharing food.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
    she just laughs and says "don't eat them"

    I agree with your mom.
    What he said.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    I joined the military. They didn't give a crap what I wanted for lunch either.

    Hahaha...true. In boot camp, I lived on jelly and crackers just to satisfy that sweet tooth, that and the food was horrid.
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    ...i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items.
    I scold her for it ...

    You are 21 years old.
    Buy your own damn groceries.
    If my 21 year old scolded me ... they'd be moved out - immediately.

    I hope you never have to actually make that decision. It'd suck to have to eat your words.
  • takehomepay
    takehomepay Posts: 18 Member
    I"d move out... if you can afford it. Sounds like your Mom gets something out of sabbotaging you. If you can't move out, get a dorm fridge and clear out one cabinet as yours. Keep your food there, make your own meals. Make your own space within your Mom's space. I don't agree with the advice about having some self control. Some of us (sound like you are one) just can't be around foods that are tempting / toxic. Good luck!
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    My mom knows i'm counting my calories and going to the gym (since we go together, lol) and i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items. Yesterday she walks in the door with one of the items i didn't want. Today? Did it again with another one i mentioned. I scold her for it and she just laughs and says "don't eat them" when she knows how hard that's going to be for me, as they're my favorite and i'm the only one in the family that eats them.

    I feel like the only way to stop this is to move out and buy my own groceries. yikes..
    *********************OR*****************************
    You could do the food shopping for your family. Get the list from your mom and go. Because I don't know about your mom, but I hate food shopping, hate that nobody goes with me to help, hate the I have to slog it all into the house and hate to hear "I don't like this."

    There is only one food rule in my house: "Eat it, don't eat it, your choice. But you don't get to complain about the food you don't eat. If you want to complain, eat it first, then tell me about how you hate it."
  • AphelionPDX
    AphelionPDX Posts: 105
    I don't know what your situation is to where you need to live with your parents, but, rest assured, somewhere around 40% of recent college graduates live with their parents because of today's crappy economy. I'm only saying that because I saw a couple of people say you're 21 so you need to move out. Anyway, I live with my boyfriend and we have his kids over every other weekend. Though I keep healthy food and snacks in the house for us, they are kids and they still have their treats that I shouldn't be eating. I've asked my boyfriend to hide the snacks so I don't have the urge to eat something bad for me if it's sitting right in front of me. If your mom is not trying to sabotage your goals (which is true sometimes), I would ask her to hide them.
  • AmesMc1972
    AmesMc1972 Posts: 194 Member
    Have you tried sitting your mom down and talking to her about how you feel? Maybe if you explain to her that certain things are trigger foods for you, she will be more understaniding about brining those things home.
  • KarenJean91
    KarenJean91 Posts: 283 Member
    If i could delete this thread i would. Just skipped reading the past 4 pages. You people are too rude and must really hate yourselves. none of you know my life. If you did i'm sure you wouldn't be hounding me about being at home at 21. So hate all you want.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
    If i could delete this thread i would. Just skipped reading the past 4 pages. You people are too rude and must really hate yourselves. none of you know my life. If you did i'm sure you wouldn't be hounding me about being at home at 21. So hate all you want.

    I don't hate you for being home @ 21. I just think that since you are living in HER house then you have no say in what food she brings in and CERTAINLY no right to "SCOLD" your mother for bringing in food that she wants. Either learn to leave it alone or eat it. Those are your choices.
  • tmoldovan1
    tmoldovan1 Posts: 3 Member
    you can resist this temptation as days go bye it will be a positive reinforcement to mostly yourself and her! Just think if your really logging it here, you have to put it here, is it worth it? That would be the question. But if you think moving out would help you greatly and are able, by all means rock on and find support thru those that really care and want you to achieve your goals like folks on this site. God Bless.
  • nancycaregiver
    nancycaregiver Posts: 812 Member
    I don't think it is inappropriate for a 21 year old to live at home, especially if you are in college or have not started your career yet, even though I was married at 21. Everyone's situation is different. But do you honestly think scolding your mother is appropriate? The answer is NO! I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear but you asked for opinions and now you are upset that you are not getting the answer you wanted. It's not necessarily time to move out but it is time to start being honest with yourself about your situation. If your mother is truly trying to sabotage you, talk to her about it. If it is just a habit, thank her for buying them and don't eat it. But do not be rude to your mother. And don't tell me that scolding your mother is not being rude. You know it is. You just want it justified.
  • MissSusieQ
    MissSusieQ Posts: 533 Member
    huh.

    you skipped four pages because everyone's so mean?

    Let me fill you in. people say mean things. you either take it on or shake it off.

    but, having read every post, I can tell you that you've skipped over some great advice too, which is a shame. not everybody is out to get you.

    plus, if you look past the rude remarks, there's a few common themes that you'd do we'll to take on board.

    good luck. whatever you do, you'll need it :)
  • Monica_has_a_goal
    Monica_has_a_goal Posts: 694 Member
    My mom knows i'm counting my calories and going to the gym (since we go together, lol) and i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items. Yesterday she walks in the door with one of the items i didn't want. Today? Did it again with another one i mentioned. I scold her for it and she just laughs and says "don't eat them" when she knows how hard that's going to be for me, as they're my favorite and i'm the only one in the family that eats them.

    I feel like the only way to stop this is to move out and buy my own groceries. yikes..

    Don't let anyone sabotage you, It's not a joke and they need to know you're serious about it.. This is the time to put your "big girl" panties on and use that will power to refuse any treats your family might bring home to tempt you with.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    just because you are watching what you eat doesnt mean everyone else has to
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
    My mom knows i'm counting my calories and going to the gym (since we go together, lol) and i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items. Yesterday she walks in the door with one of the items i didn't want. Today? Did it again with another one i mentioned. I scold her for it and she just laughs and says "don't eat them" when she knows how hard that's going to be for me, as they're my favorite and i'm the only one in the family that eats them.

    I feel like the only way to stop this is to move out and buy my own groceries. yikes..

    Wow OP. YIKES is right! You're lucky to have a roof over your head and someone to buy food for you. Albiet food you don't want to eat but this, THIS is what's making you feel you have to move out? Hmmmmm, wish that this was the roughest situation I've ever been in in my life. Its amazing how entitled and unaware people are. Try living on your own for a bit and come back to us and let us know how you make out after managing the following:

    Paid rent or mortgage
    car payment
    phone bill
    cable
    utilites
    saved for retirement
    buy all the specialty food you want
    and had cash left over for "fun"

    I have a nice recipe for Humble Pie if you want, PM me.
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
    Wow.....ummmm.....
  • Melo1966
    Melo1966 Posts: 881 Member
    My teenage daughter complains that I don't buy enough junk food. I tell her to "Get a job and buy your own food".
    If you have the funds to move out then I guess do so but it would be cheaper for you to just buy your own food and get a mini fridge and small cupbard.
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
    dafuq
  • Play_outside
    Play_outside Posts: 528 Member
    I didn't read all the replies but yes, time to move out or start buying your own groceries. When I was in high school I bought a lot of my own groceries because I made different food choices than the rest of my family. At 21, you are an adult and should be capable of supporting yourself so if you are choosing to live at home you shouldn't expect your Mom to only buy groceries that you are choosing to eat-no reason you can't buy your own. Good luck!

    Edited to add, the money I used in high school to buy my own groceries was money that I earned at my job, not any type of allowance that I was given (no allowance). Times can be pretty tough, but there are ways to get by.
    My mom knows i'm counting my calories and going to the gym (since we go together, lol) and i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items. Yesterday she walks in the door with one of the items i didn't want. Today? Did it again with another one i mentioned. I scold her for it and she just laughs and says "don't eat them" when she knows how hard that's going to be for me, as they're my favorite and i'm the only one in the family that eats them.

    I feel like the only way to stop this is to move out and buy my own groceries. yikes..
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    ...i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items.
    I scold her for it ...

    You are 21 years old.
    Buy your own damn groceries.
    If my 21 year old scolded me ... they'd be moved out - immediately.

    I hope you never have to actually make that decision. It'd suck to have to eat your words.

    I'm 53 with 2 grown sons successfully out of the nest - and I'll say it again - scold me you are out. I've lived it... and my kids are very welcome back in my house - they know that, BUT once again, disrespect me in my house - BYE BYE!
  • lallaloolly
    lallaloolly Posts: 228 Member
    Well you can either throw the item away and stay or move out. If you keep throwing the item away may be she will get the hint.

    This!

    lol, nooooooo! maybe i'm old school, but i think as long as you're living with your parents and they are providing you with a roof over your head and free groceries, it's not up to you what they buy (and i definitely don't think that throwing away the food she buys herself is the way to go; it's her home, her money, her food). if moving out isn't an option, then it is definitely time you started buying your own groceries.
  • autumnsnow786
    autumnsnow786 Posts: 279 Member
    i totally understand....my parents do that too. they brought this huge cannoli thing a while back as a "snack" for me.....its still sitting in the cupboard. just try to forget that its there. or set up a goal for yourself that you want so badly that you won't let anything shake you.... for me its my cousin's wedding....its this weekend and for once I had to get clothes taken in instead of taken out =)
  • KarenJean91
    KarenJean91 Posts: 283 Member
    Let me get things straight. I'm not looking for pity.

    *I'm 21. Trying to get an education and figure out what i want to do with life.
    *I do not have enough money to move out.
    *I work at a job that is breaking rules by not paying us enough.
    *My father is an alcoholic who is going to jail for the second time after breaking probation.
    *My brother whom i live with is a heroin addict.
    *My mother is a bi-polar woman who obsessed about her weight, is rail thin and never eats.

    I'm tired, stressed out, worrying constantly, trying to figure out my life. I cannot move out when I know i cannot support myself yet.

    Why are people calling me a brat. If you knew me in real life you wouldn't think that. I treat my mom with a multitude of respect. You are all acting like I l yelled at her! Here is exactly what I said. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE: "Oh god, what is this?" -mom laughs- "Ahh i told you to not buy these any more because they're my favorite and they're terrible for you. Seriously, lol." mom said "well just don't eat them."

    Does that sound rude to you?

    Thank you.
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
    ...i've told her numerous times not to buy certain food items.
    I scold her for it ...

    You are 21 years old.
    Buy your own damn groceries.
    If my 21 year old scolded me ... they'd be moved out - immediately.

    I hope you never have to actually make that decision. It'd suck to have to eat your words.

    My child is 17 years old......it would never enter her mind to TELL me what to buy or to SCOLD me in any way. Why would anyone think that sort of behavior is ok?

    It's mom's house, it's mom's money.....therefore, it's mom's rules.

    OP needs to either get a job and get out or learn self control. Period.

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