a girl i know lost about 100lbs

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245

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  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Maybe she's happier now that she's lost her weight even despite her lack of social life. Maybe going out drinking and eating wasn't making her happy? She may be more than happy to sacrifice drinking and meals out for her new gorgeous body? I know which I'd choose if I had to....
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
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    Some people can eat everything/work out much less and still get away with it because they portion control and practice NEAT

    Others have to workout 2 hours everyday and avoid parties.I think she is doing what works for her and i am sure she is having a great time otherwise she wont be doing it.You have to make peace with the cards you have been dealt!
  • britkneemeyer
    britkneemeyer Posts: 54 Member
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    Maybe i'm mean but i think shes setting herself up for eventual failure. If you can't have any fun eventually your going to say "screw it" and go off the wall. Losing weight isn't about punishing yourself and that's what it seems like she's doing. I guess if she is enjoying herself it doesn't matter but that doesn't sound like too much fun to me.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    I dunno, it seems like you are being the judge and jury for what she gets to consider fun. Maybe going and drinking and hanging out with people in a social setting just isn't fun for her. Maybe her two hour workout is the part of her day she looks forward to the most. After losing a hundred pounds, her relationship to food has changed so a cheat meal is whatever she considers it to be.

    As someone that doesn't drink or smoke and enjoys staying in and reading books, people are always thinking I'm not having a good time. No, this IS a good time to me. Only I get to decide that, just like she does
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Maybe i'm mean but i think shes setting herself up for eventual failure. If you can't have any fun eventually your going to say "screw it" and go off the wall. Losing weight isn't about punishing yourself and that's what it seems like she's doing. I guess if she is enjoying herself it doesn't matter but that doesn't sound like too much fun to me.

    People have different ideas of 'fun' though. To me going out drinking every weekend isn't fun. I would hate it. Maybe to her her fun is now being fit, getting in a good workout and feeling great. She may of been totally miserable before. I don't get how people equate healthy lifestyle with boring. It all depends on the individual,
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Sounds like she's making her own choices about the quality of her life. You should let her know you're available to help her decide which activities are living life and which are unacceptable expenditures of time, though. I am sure she would like the help of someone who has it all figured out.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    If she's a grown up, then its her choice. Ask her to come with you to events which doesn't involve food and let her know she can leave if you guys decide to hit a restaurant or something after the event so she won't deny due to fear of being around high calorie food
  • alexveksler
    alexveksler Posts: 409 Member
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    :bigsmile: There's a lot more to life than eating

    THAT!!!
  • fit_spired_vicky
    fit_spired_vicky Posts: 152
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    Okay, and what was sense of this forum post?
  • katcunock
    katcunock Posts: 664 Member
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    pot, kettle, hello we're both black.

    I seem to remember reading a post by you a while ago that said you'd cut out your social life for a few weeks because you didn't want to be tempted by the cals in alcohol or fast food.

    Edited to add:

    you do that having lost 5lbs. Imagine, having lost a hundred pounds, how desperate you'd feel then to keep your control and not destroy everything you've worked so hard for.
  • fit_spired_vicky
    fit_spired_vicky Posts: 152
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    pot, kettle, hello we're both black.

    I seem to remember reading a post by you a while ago that said you'd cut out your social life for a few weeks because you didn't want to be tempted by the cals in alcohol or fast food.

    :o
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    I dunno, it seems like you are being the judge and jury for what she gets to consider fun. Maybe going and drinking and hanging out with people in a social setting just isn't fun for her. Maybe her two hour workout is the part of her day she looks forward to the most. After losing a hundred pounds, her relationship to food has changed so a cheat meal is whatever she considers it to be.

    As someone that doesn't drink or smoke and enjoys staying in and reading books, people are always thinking I'm not having a good time. No, this IS a good time to me. Only I get to decide that, just like she does

    Love this, I don't drink much even on the rare occasions I go out, and while I do like socialising I have to be in the mood for it! I can be a bit of a loner :laugh: If she is genuinely happy, good for her!
  • SweeDecadence92
    SweeDecadence92 Posts: 218 Member
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    Your friend sounds like the picture of self control. Kudos to her!

    Really though, while it does seem a bit odd thats she's went to the point of isolating herself her friends for her body, maybe she is happier that way. As her friend she's not very likely to admit to you that she want her body and healthy life style more than her friends companionship. It's not that unusal to hear of people adapting a healthy lifestyle to reduce contact with those they consider unhealthy influences in their life. I'm not saying thats the case but you don't seem to be very supportive of her new lifestyle. Prehaps you could socialise with this girl more away from the eating context, you know cinema, shopping, various activities etc.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    I'm a server, I work around food daily, and I am about the same way. Except I'll drink with my girl friends after work once in awhile but I add it into my calories. I don't drink as much as I did last year, but that is because my goals this year are different then last year, I count everything I put in my mouth and if I cheat I log that as well. Everyone is different, basically find what you want, if you wish to lose weight and still have fun, make room for it. Food I for the most part have under control, however I've leaned on alcohol as my fun, my way of relaxing and letting my hair down. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way an alcoholic I just enjoy to social drink and now things are getting serious because I am 7lbs from my goal weight, now it is time for serious muscle and body shaping, I look great in clothes but my body naked is not what I want. SOOOO!!! It just depends on what you are working for. Alcohol won't get my body where I want it, I have to much to work on to get it where I want it with crap! I still splurge and have a drink once in awhile, today was actually a "Splurge" I guess but still at my target, I had ribs instead of healthy lean meats lol on and I had 3 drinks out with the girls after work. We did it tonight because tomorrow we all work different shifts.
  • mohamedkt
    mohamedkt Posts: 15
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    Lol, she might be an introvert like me. Crowds or groups of people in general wear us out. I wouldn't mind staying at home alone for weeks without anyone else in my presence. In a society where extroversion is pushed on people, this might not seem normal, but in fact many people wouldn't mind "not having a life" in its quintessential meaning. It is said that about 1/4 of people here in the U.S are introverts, some just act extroverted because of how it is seen as the norm, so she might be using her diet as an excuse to finally be herself- an introvert.

    Now this is just what I think lol. I don't think that many would mind but ask her if she's an introvert. You might be surprised.
  • icemaiden17_uk
    icemaiden17_uk Posts: 463 Member
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    My opinion, good for her! She has an iron will that I admire! However there is no way I could live like that and I think you having a chat to her shows that you are a good friend trying to understand a her new way of life. Others would just straight ditch her! I do feel that skipping the gym once to go out dancing would do her some good though! And she can stay on the water which would not hurt her diet at all! In fact you should invite her to an experiment, get her HRM on and get her out dancing and see how many calories she burns so that she can see that she can still go out and workout with her friends! Happy days!!

    Good for her and good for you and good luck to both of you!!

    P.S. If you do try the dancing experiment let me know! I would love to know the result! :)
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
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    One could argue that at 100 heavier she "acted" a certain way because thats how she dealt with things on the inside. A example of that would be the "funny fat chick" maybe to take focus off how unhappy she really was on the inside.

    I have lost 65 Lbs in a year and I can tell you that weight loss is more then just a number on a scale. For me it has been very emotional but more psychological then anything. How you veiw yourself as a person changes, for me I value myself more then I did a year ago. In social settings I'm more anxious around food, only because Im allergic to gluten, however maybe that is a trigger for her and she is trying to learn how to deal with her "demons" in a healthy way. Maybe in time she will return to the friend you remember, maybe not. Maybe shes happy working out 2 hours a night because thats a better choice then binge eating alone at night, who knows.
  • NatsukoG
    NatsukoG Posts: 104
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    I really feel like I can identify with this girl. I've cut right back on my social life in the past year in order to focus on improving my health and wellbeing. It's a sacrafice I've made in order to hopefully life a longer, happier, healthier life and boy was it worth it.

    Now that I'm nearing my goal, I'm starting to go out a bit more. Perhaps your friend will be the same. Perhaps once she is comfortable with her new self and maintains her new weight for a while she'll re-integrate. Perhaps she'll be like me and decide drinking just isn't for her anymore and that actually, going to the gym is great fun and hanging out with your trainer is rewarding and fun.

    It's sweet of you to be concerned but my advice would be don't worry too much about your friend unless she tells her yourself she is unhappy. Perhaps like me she's happier than she's ever been in her entire life. I wish her well continuing her journey and hope you remain friends.
  • Twiliightmoon
    Twiliightmoon Posts: 39
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    Question: What do you do for exercise?
    Answer: I'm at the gym by 5:30, half hour cardio, 1 hour strength training. I work with a personal trainer once a week. I LOVE IT!!! It motivates me and I really love the way I see my muscles changing. It's almost like a HIGH!!!

    Question: What do you eat?
    Answer: Well balanced meals, including protein shakes, vegetables, , complex carbs, protein. If I could eat in my car, I would, but it's cold out there. When II do eat my food, I get nasty comments from people who can't seem to stay on track.

    Question: Do you have a cheat day?
    Answer: Oh yes. But my cheat day ends up usually being mostly healthy. I honestly love the foods I eat. My favorite treat is hummus with garlic. ;)

    Question: Do you go out with friends?
    Answer: Occasionally. The friends I go out with know how hard I've worked and they never pressure me to eat things I don't want to partake in.

    It becomes a lifestyle. I'm so much happier now than I ever was before. I have energy for work, my health is great. I really, really love what I'm doing.
  • runningwoodpecker
    runningwoodpecker Posts: 58
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    i said it works for her. but it wouldn't work for me.
    i understand everyone is different but it's sad seeing a woman with so many close friends, and then she decided to choose weight over friendships.

    Maybe when she started getting fit and healthy her friends ditched her because they were jealous?

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