How long before you dump your pals????

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Replies

  • aakokopelli7
    aakokopelli7 Posts: 196 Member
    I get rather annoyed at those pals that eat crappy food, don't log in any exercise or food everyday (or at least every other day). It makes me ask the question, Why are you here and why did you send me a friend request? I like my pals to be putting in effort. If you are logging in 8 Dr. Peppers a day, then I question your intentions. I have days where I eat one crap thing, who doesn't, but everyday logging in a soda and two ho ho's for me is a problem.
    I try my best to keep up with everyone and comment on what I think deserves one. I am in this to win this, and it's hard to be motivational to a negative person or one who doesn't give 100 percent.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member

    I try my best to keep up with everyone and comment on what I think deserves one. I am in this to win this, and it's hard to be motivational to a negative person or one who doesn't give 100 percent.

    Funny. I was just looking in my news feed and thinking this same thing. I do my best to encourage and give as much support as I can, as many helpful ideas people may need to the best of my ability. But sometimes I see people who just seem to be content on staying where they are.
  • rsmelley
    rsmelley Posts: 8
    I have been using MFP for about 3 months now and have yet to dump any of the friends I have on here. If they become MIA I might send them a note saying I hope that they are ok and look forward to seeing them again, but haven't dumped anyone because they are not logging. These are people that do have lives outside MFP. Sure would hate to find out somebody I had dumped had had some kind of life tragedy. Sometimes life gets in the way. When they do start logging again I will be here. I sure hope none of them would dump me because I didn't log in for several days or even several months.
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    I try to wait more than 7 days to see if they've logged in... but, if it turns into a habit of log in (but don't interact) and then log off for a few days, then I'll go on and delete them.
  • rsmelley
    rsmelley Posts: 8
    These are people that have lives. Do you think life revolves just around you and your diet diary?
  • Luv2ChewBaca
    Luv2ChewBaca Posts: 15 Member
    Is there an etiquette for dumping friends who aren't logging in??

    I'm giving them 7 days then their out. Grrrr you've got to be in it to win it.lol

    What about you?

    It probably depends on how many friends the member has. If you have many, you might be more inclined to unfriend. But if you have a small number like myself, you don't remove anyone... I need all the help I can get. And while we are talking about it, if anyone wants a new MFP friend, send me a request.. :)
  • Turning_Hopes_to_Habits
    Turning_Hopes_to_Habits Posts: 103 Member
    I don't like high-maintenance friends, or friends whose friendship requires me to work for it, so it's very convenient to me when high-maintenance people save me the trouble by unfriending me. :D
  • Jozie_
    Jozie_ Posts: 61 Member
    I would never dump a friend for not logging. I often don't log for periods of time or take a break from MFP, I'll still be working out most days and eating healthy I might just be taking a break from logging EVERY. SINGLE CALORIE. I can get a little OCD about it after a while. MFP is just one of the tools I use to keep my healthy lifestyle on track. I'd hate to think that I couldn't live a healthy lifestyle without it.

    I also have friends that I know have fallen off the wagon, and I want to be here for them if/when they decide to get back on.

    I'm more likely to un-friend people who are really annoying and go on and on about every single thing they eat.
  • Jozie_
    Jozie_ Posts: 61 Member
    I went through a rough patch a while ago and didn't log for a couple of months, I was still on track most of the time though. Was gutted when I came back and realised I'd been de-friended by a couple of people I really looked up to fitness wise.
  • alvin0012
    alvin0012 Posts: 29 Member
    Not logging does not mean they don't do any progress outside of MFP. I haven't logged in for almost a year, but I still maintain what I think is right for me. MFP is a good tool to keep track and to stay on track of the cal you eat.
  • alvin0012
    alvin0012 Posts: 29 Member
    Plus I just re-opened my MFP and I only have 1 friend. :smile:
  • skcardiog
    skcardiog Posts: 316 Member
    30 day rule - keep friend list low to those committed to the cause of MFP .
  • micls
    micls Posts: 234
    7 days? Do you people not go on holidays?

    I was offline for about 7 months- wedding, moving country, 10 week honeymoon, Christmas, moving country again. Now I'm settled and in a routine I'm using it again. Lucky most of my friends aren't the dumping kind I guess, though I admit I don't often look at the home/comments section.
  • micls
    micls Posts: 234
    30 day rule - keep friend list low to those committed to the cause of MFP .

    Is the cause not meant to be yourself? MFP is just the tool
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    In reality, my answer would have to be "It Depends."

    I'm new to MFP. If I have a friend who goes AWOL for 10-12 days without posting a note about being busy, on vacation or saying they will be off MFP for awhile, and they do not respond to the two or three messages I send, I delete them.

    Why? Frankly, it is because they were not my "friend" or my "pal" or even my "acquaintance." I'm not saying that to be mean. It's just the truth.

    That said, there are already a couple MFP "friends" on my list that are growing on me. I think as we interact more on the boards, on our homepages, and via messages, we will have a chance to become close acquaintances and maybe even friends (without the quotation marks). If one of them goes AWOL, I will likely keep them in friends list for several months, maybe indefinitely.

    BTW ... I did not join MFP to make friends. I came here to get healthy (or as healthy as I can be). After 50 years of worrying about, caring for, and catering to others wants and needs, I am finally learning that the only way I am going to be healthy is if I take some time to focus on me. Some may call it selfish. I call it survival.

    I love this last paragraph! I didn't come here for friends either. I came here to get healthier. If I am finding friends with similar backgrounds, that's even better. And I don't friend request people very often -- I figure if someone wants to connect with me, they can request me. I'm not sure if that makes me anti-social or not, but I don't make a big deal out of having a small group of friends. I gave up Facebook because it grew ridiculously inane for me, and I don't want that to happen with MFP. Like another poster said: "We're here to build each other up, not tear each other down."
  • Songbird1104
    Songbird1104 Posts: 210 Member
    I only have 2 friends, and I like it that way. Keeps it simple!
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    i just assume they answered a craigslist add to for a sexual food fantasy and have been kidnapped and buried somewhere never to be seen again
  • amberpitz
    amberpitz Posts: 103 Member
    10 minutes.
    lol
  • amberpitz
    amberpitz Posts: 103 Member
    i just assume they answered a craigslist add to for a sexual food fantasy and have been kidnapped and buried somewhere never to be seen again
    lmao thats great
  • Anmariee
    Anmariee Posts: 31 Member
    As long as I've been on this site or sparkpeople.com I've never unfriended anyone. Sometimes seeing what others do can inspire. Remember being in it to win it don't mean people don't have real life challenges to over come. Losing weight is one of the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You don't wave a wand and whoosh all the fat is gone or better yet all the mental blocks that comes with it. Setbacks are difficult to overcome and it take a couple of tries before you stick with it. I stopped logging into my other sight because life had become so busy that I just gave up on weight loss altogether...OVERWHELMED

    Give all your pals time no matter what. It doesn't bother me to see them inactive...I keep sending a message asking "How are you doing?"

    We all struggle in our on way...
  • Anmariee
    Anmariee Posts: 31 Member
    I never dump friends for not logging in. I have a few who have been MIA for a couple of months. What if they come back and find all of their friends abandoned them? I wouldn't be much of a friend would I? They aren't causing any trouble and if MFP has a friend limit, I'm nowhere near it.


    I really like this response... THOUGHTFUL & KIND :)
  • xsmilexforxmex
    xsmilexforxmex Posts: 1,216 Member
    1-2 months depending on if they're the type to give motivation/support or not.. if I don't remember them they're gone for sure
  • tifflatrice08
    tifflatrice08 Posts: 8 Member
    Why dump your friends???? If you are truly a good friend, then that mean your support the people in your circle... Why turn on them when they may need you the most. I have a small friend list... 2 people, one person I check on almost daily and the other inspire me to do well. If I left for a while and came back for support and they were gone, I would be hurt. People struggle, sometimes they just need a little support...
  • kittenbobitten
    kittenbobitten Posts: 199 Member
    I usually wait a month, send a message and then delete them. they can always add me back!
  • Bracciano
    Bracciano Posts: 85 Member
    I don't do any kind of dumping in my whole 4 days here. I tend to have a dirty sense of humor and I say bad words so that takes care of the attrition. I've lost 5 already :) As far as people being needy and dropping me because I haven't logged in for a few days? I don't like needy friends in real life, it wouldn't be any different here.
  • roxbox2013
    roxbox2013 Posts: 95 Member
    I usually give it about 2 weeks, unless they previously said they'd be gone for a specific reason. In which case, I won't delete them. The reason being, I don't need fair-weathered dieters. I need people who are as serious about this as I am.
  • ImmaZombie
    ImmaZombie Posts: 84
    LOL I do the same thing AND I boot them if they don't even respond when I respond to them. They want support but don't give it.
  • wendybird5
    wendybird5 Posts: 577 Member
    I'm too busy taking care of myself to keep track of whether or not my friends are logging in or not. Everyone has their own journey. I'm happy to be here to help people, but I don't keep a running tally to confirm that people are responding to me in equal amounts.
  • citygirl04
    citygirl04 Posts: 286 Member
    I don't judge. Sometimes life catches up with us and we don't get to spend lots of time in here. Doesn't mean we're all not committed to our goals. If somebody dumps me off of their friends list because I don't log in enough to their standards then I guess they're not much of a buddy because to me it's the opposite of being supportive. I don't need fair weathered friends, I like to know my friends stick around unconditionally.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    I don't do any kind of dumping in my whole 4 days here. I tend to have a dirty sense of humor and I say bad words so that takes care of the attrition. I've lost 5 already :) As far as people being needy and dropping me because I haven't logged in for a few days? I don't like needy friends in real life, it wouldn't be any different here.

    i try to dump two times a day

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