Any spouses with separate bedrooms?

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  • JustinDoctrinated
    JustinDoctrinated Posts: 10
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    Uh huh. It's called the couch. But it's only my bedroom when I do something stupid.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter have separate houses (next door to each other though, and they just built a connecting hall or something like that). If one had the money, that would be interesting :happy:
  • klescz
    klescz Posts: 1
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    My husband and I have been married 10 years. He has a severe snoring problem. Neither of us were getting any sleep. When we were married 5 years, he had serious surgery and had to sleep alone so he wouldn't get bumped accidentally. After his recovery period, we had a serious talk and decided we liked sleeping alone. It has not impacted our marriage one bit. If anything, it's made it better.
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
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    My parents have had separate bedrooms for around 10 years or so. Mom needs a CPAP to sleep and is pretty ill, so she needs a really good night's sleep. My dad's snoring and tossing and turning woke her up all night and made her feel worse. Plus, they weren't comfortable in their queen-size bed anymore. So, she put a queen-size bed in my old room, and Dad kept their room. They both have a TV/DVR and painted their rooms in colors they like. Hers is full of frilly pillows and flowers, and his is a man cave. :) His room (the master) has a half-bath, so they even have separate bathrooms now. It works really well for them. They sleep better, which means they're happier and get along better.

    I worked a different schedule from my boyfriend for a long time, and he snores like a freight train. I'm a really light sleeper, and if I wake up, it takes forever to get back to sleep. Nothing worked - I tried earplugs and sleeping pills, and he tried those Breathe Right strips. For a while, we had separate bedrooms. It was either that or argue all the time. Now that I'm sleeping better and working a better shift, we share a room again. Still, there are times he wakes me up with his snoring, and rather than smother him with a pillow, I go and sleep in the spare room. I always feel bad when I leave him, but he says it doesn't make him sad to wake up alone. He feels bad that he wakes me up, so he'd rather have me in another room sleeping well than next to him ready to kill him. ;)
  • fleur_de_lis19
    fleur_de_lis19 Posts: 926 Member
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    My husband is a heavy sleeper and snores really loud, but we just go to bed at different times and it really helps. If i go to bed and I'm down for a good 2 hours before he comes to bed i can sleep through it. I could see who separate rooms could work for some but it wouldn't work for us. We need that intimacy.
  • dschassie
    dschassie Posts: 192 Member
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    I cant even imagine not sleeping with my husband when he is home. He is deployed right now and I hate being without him. Even when he is home he wakes up way earlier than me but I like to wake up and get him coffee and say goodbye before he leaves for work. Sleeping in separate bedrooms seems like crazy talk to me.

    Exactly how it is at my house. We've been married for over 10 years and he has deployed so many times during our marriage that when he is at home, we cherish the moments we get together. I love laying close to him and hearing his heart beat (makes me so grateful that he came home safely) and although he gets up earlier than me in the mornings, we don't leave the house without kissing each other goodbye and telling each other "I love You". I know this sounds mushy but life is short and you don't know how much time you might have together!
  • sarahertzberger
    sarahertzberger Posts: 534 Member
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    I could never not sleep in the same bed as my husband, that would be awful, it would seem to me that not having that time together even though you are sleeping could be hurtful to the relationship. I would hate that.
  • DamnImASexyBitch
    DamnImASexyBitch Posts: 740 Member
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    This seems downright strange to me. My husband works midnights, and I work afternoons. We rarely get to sleep together except for the weekends. Both of us totally miss one another when we have to sleep alone. I couldn't imagine him being in another bedroom seperate from me.
  • Rehobobound
    Rehobobound Posts: 143 Member
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    Not odd at all. My husband snores horribly so I made the decision to sleep in the guest room rather than be awoken every night by the snoring and the desire to smother him. Our relationship thrives and benefits from our being well rested. We enjoy all sorts of activities together, sleeping just isn't one of them.
  • sclarktiw
    sclarktiw Posts: 217
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    I work away from home and am usually only home every 3rd weekend, when I was at my heaviest I was (APPARENTLY) snoring something terrible...and more often than not I was sleeping on the couch or when our daughter went to college her room. Well, since I have lost 60 lbs, I DON'T snore anymore and we sleep together ALL the time (unless one of us us sick). Being on the road, I sleep on a lot of harder mattresses so when I am home I have hard time adjusting to the soft pillow top mattress right away. But I cherish the time I spend with my wife and can deal with the pain for the next day as long as I sleep with her! I could be wrong but I think some of the spouses on here need to join MFP as well...I know when I was 295 and I dropped to 271,. my snoring was GREATLY resduced and when I yo yo dieted and gained a pound back (yes, 272) I started snoring alot more. Then I found MFP and am at 235 and NO SNORING.

    Good luck to all on here!
  • Ghostpoo
    Ghostpoo Posts: 24 Member
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    We have separate rooms for sleeping. My hubby is a very loud snorer and he used to think I didn't want to sleep with him. He thought I was being overly sensitive and too light of a sleeper. We went camping two summers ago and some people came to talk to us in the morning and casually mentioned the snoring that wouldn't allow them to sleep. And they were about five sites away, across the street. Over the past two years, overnight guests have started to also comment on the snoring. He finally had to admit that maybe he has an issue.

    He was tested for sleep apnea and it turns out it is severe. He got a CPAC machine, which works like a charm. However, he doesn't wear it often. He is having a hard time getting used to it and doesn't want to keep me awake. I suggested that he get used to it in the spare bedroom and then move back in our room when he does.
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
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    I cant even imagine not sleeping with my husband when he is home. He is deployed right now and I hate being without him. Even when he is home he wakes up way earlier than me but I like to wake up and get him coffee and say goodbye before he leaves for work. Sleeping in separate bedrooms seems like crazy talk to me.

    Exactly how it is at my house. We've been married for over 10 years and he has deployed so many times during our marriage that when he is at home, we cherish the moments we get together. I love laying close to him and hearing his heart beat (makes me so grateful that he came home safely) and although he gets up earlier than me in the mornings, we don't leave the house without kissing each other goodbye and telling each other "I love You". I know this sounds mushy but life is short and you don't know how much time you might have together!

    I understand that, and it was like that when we were 1400 miles apart for months at a time, but I find it impossible to work when I wake up every hour to his snoring, sometimes taking an hour to fall back asleep. It was affecting my health, my work, and my stress levels. It also affected our relationship.

    So, in our case, it was better all the way around to sleep in separate rooms. Did we like it? Heck no. Was it necessary? Heck yes. I was getting less sleep (and no quality sleep, at that) than most new mothers. It was crazy.
  • cloza12
    cloza12 Posts: 68 Member
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    Nope. My husband snores but even then I love cuddling with him. Separate bedrooms to me is strange.
  • smeklc
    smeklc Posts: 94 Member
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    bump
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Sounds odd to some, I know, but I am considering proposing this to my husband. He travels a lot and when he's home, we have the hardest time being able to sleep together. Literally. We have a healthy relationship, etc., and for the most part, he's already got his own "separate" bedroom where he gets dressed in the morning so he won't wake me up, AND he's slept in there a few times already since our "readjustment" period takes a toll on both of us.

    Just wondering if that's worked for anyone else ~ and hear any pros and cons.
    After eight years, I've gotten very used to sleeping with the BF and I have a tough time when he isn't there. BUT ... he snores. Not every night, but the nights he does, it's awful and I end up on the couch. So, I can see the benefit!

    I do have a friend who sleeps in a different room from her husband and has since they got married. It works for them just fine.
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 1,003 Member
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    me too! lol. im just exhausted by the time he goes back to work. sometimes he'll take the couch just so we can both sleep. we have a queen size bed, i think if we had a king it would make a big diference, and separate comforters lol.
  • sally414
    sally414 Posts: 51
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    Hey, if sleeping in separate bedrooms works for you and you are in a happy, healthy marriage - more power to you IMO.

    I wouldn't mind a few nights a week to sleep on my own, but honestly most nights I don't even notice my hubby is there. We stay on our same sides and he doesn't snore (and I don't think I do!).
  • SquidgySquidge
    SquidgySquidge Posts: 239 Member
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    I would love a seperate bedroom to my husband! Lol, that's no reflection on him but I just love having the bed to myself!
    I can have all the duvet, stretch out as much as I like - and also theres no one to moan when the cats want to get in for a snuggle, bliss!

    I think that in your situation it would make sence to sleep seperately, there's nothing worse than bad sleep so if you think it will work, go for it :)
  • Roni_M
    Roni_M Posts: 717 Member
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    I'm kind of surprised by how many of you there are that sleep in separate rooms. I have no opinion on it... Whatever works for you guys!

    First off... I am 40 & he is 41 years old and we have been married for 20 years (together for 24). So we are pretty "used" to each other (kind of grew up together). I think this bears weight in the equation because we went from sleeping in our childhood single beds to sleeping together... so we don't know any different! If he is away for the night I don't sleep at all. Luckily that doesn't happen very often. LOL

    Hubby and I sleep together every night (we generally watch TV in bed together for an hour or two before going to sleep). I used to snore but have stopped since dropping weight (he never seemed that bothered by it but has mentioned it after I stopped). Hubby snores occasionally, but generally a poke will get him to stop. He's a bit of a blanket hog but likes the bedroom cool, so I have my own little electric blanket to cuddle up in if I'm cold. Or I just wiggle my butt over against him (he's like a furnace when he sleeps!

    Now the part that drives me nuts is that he tosses and turns ALOT! (it's really really bad if he's been drinking!). He is 6'4" and about 240lbs so not little by any means. So sometimes I would get an elbow to the side or a leg thrown over top of me. The perfect solution? Upgraded to a king size memory foam mattress! Now he has his space, I have mine and we can still be together. For us this was the best decision. I don't feel him tossing & turning (and I no longer get elbowed).
  • chulie
    chulie Posts: 282
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    I do find this VERY fascinating how many people sleep in separate rooms!!! Interesting!! Great topic!

    DH and I do not sleep in separate beds..just our room......there was a small window when I was VERY pregnant and apparently snored so loud...he would get zero sleep so he would come to bed and cuddle me to sleep and then leave and sleep in the spare room..Which is funny cause HE is totally the "snore"er...but I'm so used to it that it doesn't bother me at all....other than that...I HAVE to sleep with him because he's a human furnace and I'm a human icecube so I need him to warm me up hahaha...I would maybe just...like others said make sure you don't become roomates because it could be a slippery slope....but as long as your aware and it works...good luck!

    I have strict sleeping rules....we NEVER go bed angry(even if we're up until 2 am)...no tv in the bedroom and no kids allowed in our bed..hahahahaa.....He grew up sleeping with the tv on and passing out on the couch...so..he fought me at first but now he's so much more well rested...he knows I was right! hahaha...

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