Observations on Body Shaming
Replies
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can we add 7: don't assume sluttery just b/c someone takes bikini or workout pics.
didn't happen in the two big ones yesterday, but i am seeing a LOT of that lately and it's really getting my ginger up.
agreed!0 -
Win...and I'm glad I missed the kerfuffle.
I'm excited to see the word "kerfuffle."
And I'm excited I got the chance to use the word "kerfuffle". Sounds like a dessert.0 -
yes0
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I loved this post!
The only thing I would add is that I've seen a lot of body shaming for people with eating disorders on here. And while it is unhealthy and painful to look at bodies that are fairly emaciated, it is never anyone's right to pass judgement. Pro-anas can be frustrating to deal with, as eating disorders are complicated things and people will stubbornly stick to self-destructive patterns, but body shaming never helps.
Sorry if that's a little off topic.
OP, you are lovely. :flowerforyou:0 -
6. Pregosaurusrex really is pregnant. I checked.
How many centimeters dilated is she?
Is it a boy or a girl?0 -
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How come no one has come here yet to tell you they don't like muscles on women?
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I don't think it is always jealously. I don't know why but a good number of people seem to take genuine offense at others not wanting the same things as them, whether it be a "look", exercise routine, diet or other.
Here's an example. I think my friend puffyheart is gorgeous. I think she's done an awesome job achieving the goals she set for herself. I'm not jealous at all. I'm genuinely happy for her success. BUT....I don't have the same goals. I don't want to spend hours in the gym that it would take for me to look like that. So, while I can admire her and think she looks amazing, I can still say that I don't want to put in the work to look like that. That does not make me jealous. It makes me different.
Having said all that, I would never comment on a pic of hers saying, "I don't want to look like that". There's the difference.
A) Thank you very much!
Please do not give the misconception that I spend HOURS in the gym. I do not. I work a full time job and have a ton of responsibilities like anyone else. I spend MAX an hour and a half at the gym 5-6 days a week ONLY during competition prep time. Otherwise, an hour MAX 3-4 days a week. But, I totally get where you are coming from and appreciate that you take the approach you take, rather than some we've seen. Puffy hugs!!! 0 -
I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".
The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.
If we're thinking about the same thread, it's because the OP was subjecting everyone to her exhibitionism under the guise of progress pics.0 -
I loved this post!
The only thing I would add is that I've seen a lot of body shaming for people with eating disorders on here. And while it is unhealthy and painful to look at bodies that are fairly emaciated, it is never anyone's right to pass judgement. Pro-anas can be frustrating to deal with, as eating disorders are complicated things and people will stubbornly stick to self-destructive patterns, but body shaming never helps.
Sorry if that's a little off topic.
OP, you are lovely. :flowerforyou:
I'll admit that I'm a bit guilty of this. But I have attempted to correct myself. You're right. People struggling with an eating-disorder definitely do not deserve additional pain or guilt.0 -
Please do not give the misconception that I spend HOURS in the gym. I do not. I work a full time job and have a ton of responsibilities like anyone else. I spend MAX an hour and a half at the gym 5-6 days a week ONLY during competition prep time. Otherwise, an hour MAX 3-4 days a week. But, I totally get where you are coming from and appreciate that you take the approach you take, rather than some we've seen. Puffy hugs!!!
I believe that...I know how busy you are! What I meant was it would take ME hours a day to look like you! Haha0 -
Then I'd like to add #8: We can all be awesome. All of us. At the same time.
Try it! It's FUN!0 -
can we add 7: don't assume sluttery just b/c someone takes bikini or workout pics.
didn't happen in the two big ones yesterday, but i am seeing a LOT of that lately and it's really getting my ginger up.
Damn straight, I worked hard for my body and if I wanna wear a bikini then I should be able to!
seriously though... What ever happened to "If you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the front door"?0 -
Please do not give the misconception that I spend HOURS in the gym. I do not. I work a full time job and have a ton of responsibilities like anyone else. I spend MAX an hour and a half at the gym 5-6 days a week ONLY during competition prep time. Otherwise, an hour MAX 3-4 days a week. But, I totally get where you are coming from and appreciate that you take the approach you take, rather than some we've seen. Puffy hugs!!!
I believe that...I know how busy you are! What I meant was it would take ME hours a day to look like you! Haha
You are such a sweetheart! I just didn't want people who didn't know me to think I do. I do not have time for hours in the gym. I prefer to take care of it with MOSTLY clean food, lmfao!0 -
I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.
And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.
This. If someone else who is still on their "journey" (*twitch*) posts their progress pictures everyone comes out in full support "oooooohhhh, you look great, awesome job, fine work, amazing progress" not "yeah that's great and all, but I can still see your cellulite, blah, blah, blah." It's a sickening double standard on here that people feel some compulsion to shame the ideals of others when those aspirations are just within reach just to make ourselves feel better. How often do we read posts about the lack of support the OP is receiving irl from their close family memebers and friends who start insulting them more and more the closer they get to their goal and the advice 75% of the time is "they're just jealous, your progress makes them feel bad because they don't want to have to put in the effort to get there, or your progress is proof that it can be done and it's easier for them to live in denial by taking out their frustrations on you." So yes, while a person who has come pretty close to reaching their goals should expect some responses and understand that their ideal isn't everyone's, why should the expect less respect than someone who is still striving to get to the end. Anyone who has reached their goal at least once knows that it's just as hard work and takes just as much dedication and self control to maintain it as it does to sculpt it. Since when has "well, someone put that picture out there" been an acceptable excuse for ugly behavior?
There is a way to say something respectfully while still getting your point across. Some of us want to be leaner, some whant to have a higher percentage of bodyfat, we all want to be the best "us" that we can imagine. As long as it's healthy, I don't see why a person's ideal should be so controversial or a thing to be insulting about. It's not the disagreement of ideals, it's the disrespect that gets people up at arms.0 -
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I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.
And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.
I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".
The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.
If you're addressing the thread I think you are, it was an exception and yes she was barely wearing any clothes with the "oh snap" attitude like she had conquered world hunger. Clueless arrogance isn't attractive either0 -
I'm guilty of this one and make no apologies for it. I did it to try to teach people a simple lesson about manners. If you feel that just because it's the internet you have the right to absolutely trash the way someone looks, don't get upset if it's done back to you.
I don't agree with that approach, though. Calling someone fat because you don't like the comment they made about someone else's body makes you just as bad as them. They won't see it as you teaching them manners. Body shaming is body shaming. Doesn't matter who does it first.
You know I'm no saint, Patti. I don't mind acting like a jerk sometimes if it helps out someone else, or is the right thing to do.
Taking the high road and just ignoring people who say such nasty things (online anyway) only allows them to continue to run their mouths. I'd rather they fight with me than someone else.
And I know the "official" policy on such things around here. Don't do anything, report to moderators.
Well the moderators didn't care to take any action on it. It went on for hours. I guess since no one posted a funny gif they didn't see a problem.0 -
I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.
And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.
I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".
The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.
If you're addressing the thread I think you are, it was an exception and yes she was barely wearing any clothes with the "oh snap" attitude like she had conquered world hunger. Clueless arrogance isn't attractive either
It was her choice of underwear that "scared" people not her level of body fat.0 -
People making fun of my size growing up (you try being half Samoan in a conservative Japanese neighborhood) is the reason I learned to fight early on, so it's not all bad!
But yeah, agreed with the don't be a d*ck to others points.0 -
You know I'm no saint, Patti.
Wait. What?
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kerfufflers gonna kerfuffle.
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Can we add that "real women" have all different kinds of body types, not just curves? We can all be beautiful and feminine even if we have a stick figure and no boobs.0
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Thank you! :drinker:0
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Can we add that "real women" have all different kinds of body types, not just curves? We can all be beautiful and feminine even if we have a stick figure and no boobs.
Just don't even say "real women." Just don't. It's only used as a way to put down some other group of women.0 -
I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.
And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.
I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".
The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.
If you're addressing the thread I think you are, it was an exception and yes she was barely wearing any clothes with the "oh snap" attitude like she had conquered world hunger. Clueless arrogance isn't attractive either
That whole thread was not about body shaming. It was about being shocked by someone topless in a thong, which is a clear violation of the TOS. Topless in a thong with inappropriate body hair protruding from what little she chose to wear is not pretty no matter what size a person is.
She would have gotten kudos in a bikini, in a jog bra, in yoga shorts, in larger underpants, etc. But that was exhibitionism. If I want to see that, I would go to Craigslist or some other place where that is considered fine.
And yes, I'm in a swimsuit. That's my whole point. And yeah, I have many areas on my body that I'm still ashamed of. But I'd never tell someone else to be ashamed of those areas.0 -
Can we add that "real women" have all different kinds of body types, not just curves? We can all be beautiful and feminine even if we have a stick figure and no boobs.
This ^^^ AND ...................Just don't even say "real women." Just don't. It's only used as a way to put down some other group of women
THIS0 -
I agree with you Patti! I had wls over 10 years ago. I lost alot of weight, and gained about half of it back. Over the past couple of years on here I have managed to get rid of the weight I regained by eating better and moving more. I recently had someone say to me, "I bet you feel even better this time than you did before, because you lost it the real way this time. You can't rely on the surgical quick fix anymore." Excuse me? I lost it the real way? Does that mean I lost it the fake way the first time? Haters gonna hate. :glasses:0
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Me likey this.0
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I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.
And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.
I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".
The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.
Okay... that chick was damn near naked which violates forum rules. I didn't see all those comments, but I suspect that they weren't necessarily referring to her body.
No. What happened was she posted pictures of herself bra-less and everyone wondered why no bra. She got defensive and made the remarks that people were hating on her and jealous of her boobs. No matter the suggestions or support, it came back constantly to everyone hating on her when no one really was. The underwear was a thong, to note..and included butt shots...with some curlies hanging out (if you know what I mean).
Many people told her nice progress but that her pictures were violations and not appropriate. And as I said, her attitude provoked a lot of the snarky response. And this happened on BOTH threads she posted, one day after the other. She went in for a third, but quickly changed her mind, thank goodness.0
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