Observations on Body Shaming

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  • Wenchilada
    Wenchilada Posts: 472 Member
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    I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.

    Do you do feel the need to give your opinion when not asked in other aspects of your life? Do you go through the classified ads and say, "I see you're selling a Ford Explorer, but I don't like Fords and will only buy a Chevy?"

    If someone asks my opinion, I'll give it. If someone asks, "Which of these haircuts would look best on me?" I'll offer suggestions. But I'm not going to go through random pictures and tell people, "You'd look better if you got a new hair style."

    LorinaLynn, I wasn't sure I could think you were any more awesome, just because I hadn't found the 11 on the dial yet. Thanks for helping me locate it. :flowerforyou:
  • Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt
    Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt Posts: 226 Member
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    I'm so glad I'm not the only one that was bothered by those posts yesterday. I blogged about it too, because I was so upset! Yeah, the pictures are out there - but this site is to SUPPORT each other in our health goals, not to judge and tear people down because they don't fit our personal ideal! So people should NOT just "expect" that from the MFP community, and they sure as hell don't deserve it.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    And I love the original post. Should have said that to begin with! :blushing:
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Body shaming is bad, mmmkay....unless it's a GIF making fun of skinny boys, or maybe built bros who skip leg day. Then, it's OK.
  • Erin_goBrahScience
    Erin_goBrahScience Posts: 1,215 Member
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    While I don't like that people are so vocal with their opinions, you can't stop what someone else does. All you can control is you.

    Personally I find it incredibly brave when people post their before/after photos. And if I had something so great I'd do it too. So all I feel is happiness for their success. Do I feel jealous? Sometimes. But that dosen't mean I should go and try to put someone else down. I try to remember that success is something you have to work for, it isn't handed to you. You need to earn it.

    But at the same time, while I think people like me are the majority, others feel that they need be hurtful to others and hide in the shadow of their computer. They are really just cowards.
  • HopefulLeigh
    HopefulLeigh Posts: 363 Member
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    /edited because I don't think that the thread I'm thinking of and the thread that's being discussed about the girl in her underwear are the same threads.

    Body shaming is bad. Great OP.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.

    When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.

    And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.

    I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".

    The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.

    Okay... that chick was damn near naked which violates forum rules. I didn't see all those comments, but I suspect that they weren't necessarily referring to her body.

    Was that the "handbra" girl?

    ETA: Never mind...I see from subsequent posts that it is, and many explanations of the issues with that have already been posted.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Body shaming is bad, mmmkay....unless it's a GIF making fun of skinny boys, or maybe built bros who skip leg day. Then, it's OK.

    Oooh...I see what you did there...but this particular double-standard is totally fine...because making fun of *skinny* body parts is totally different in a hard-to-understand-but-totally-different way...so that makes it okay...and stuff.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    Patti, this is just a fantastically written post and hits a lot of points from both sides of the argument.

    It really is disheartening to see comments using language like "gross" and "disgusting" being tossed around on here. MFP is supposed to be a welcoming place for people with all sorts of fitness and health goals regardless of where they start out or end up (obviously as long as those goals are healthy, i.e. no pro-ana or pro-bulemia). As karincakes said earlier, "let's just all be awesome."
    6. Pregosaurusrex really is pregnant. I checked.

    Yes, I really am pregnant, and it's a boy. :smile:
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Patti, this is just a fantastically written post and hits a lot of points from both sides of the argument.

    It really is disheartening to see comments using language like "gross" and "disgusting" being tossed around on here. MFP is supposed to be a welcoming place for people with all sorts of fitness and health goals regardless of where they start out or end up (obviously as long as those goals are healthy, i.e. no pro-ana or pro-bulemia). As karincakes said earlier, "let's just all be awesome."
    6. Pregosaurusrex really is pregnant. I checked.

    Yes, I really am pregnant, and it's a boy. :smile:

    Congrats. :) You have a beautiful bump boy.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    Congrats. :) You have a beautiful bump boy.

    Thank you! :)
  • Southernb3lle
    Southernb3lle Posts: 862 Member
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    What the heck did I miss?
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.

    When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.

    And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.

    I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".

    The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.

    To be fair, her underwear pics featured see through underwear, "cameltoe" and breast spillage. If she had posted the same pictures in less, ummm, scanty... yeah, that's it... clothes that still showed her progress-- I don't think the feedback would have taken that turn.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    this is beautiful...thanks for posting...

    Agreed :flowerforyou:
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    This is a terrific post. Thanks Pattie!
  • ndfaninaz
    ndfaninaz Posts: 65
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    Kerfuffle and tomfoolery in the same thread! I would just like to add...shenanigans!

    And kittens.
  • wildcata77
    wildcata77 Posts: 660
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    Great thread.

    I am only jealous of myself, circa 1999.

    And Christina Hendricks.
  • tapdance66
    tapdance66 Posts: 29
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    Great post!! As someone who "figured it out" and lost a great deal of weight, I'm happy for ANYONE who has figured out what works for them and is working to be healthy!!!!
    Tips and suggestions are great, but we aren't all "one size fits all" and one thing doesn't work for everyone. Period. End of sentence. But guess what, that's the great thing about being people - we're all great, unique individuals. We'd be boring if we were all the same.

    And, Hm, I guess I'll need to post some pics. I haven't b/c I don't care about recognition or praise. I know what I did and I'm proud of myself and that's enough for me. It never crossed my mind that people wouldn't believe me b/c I didn't have pics posted.
    Will have to go through some old photo albums as soon as I have time (added to my to-do list).

    Again - great post! Thanks!!
  • andyisandy
    andyisandy Posts: 433 Member
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    There were a couple of threads yesterday that turned in to body shaming. Interesting things I observed and thoughts I had.

    1. If you don't WANT to look like someone in a success thread, you don't have to share that info. When you criticize someone's appearance, you may sound jealous.

    2. Not everyone wants to be a hard body, and that's okay.

    3. If you are a hard body, don't think that everyone on here has the same goals. Don't assume people are jealous of you just because they don't look like you or because they disagree with you on certain issues.

    4. While you're admonishing others about "body shaming", calling them fat and couch potatoes doesn't make you much better.

    5. Having fake boobs, colored hair, bleached teeth, tattoos, or fake tans does NOT mean your muscles are all fake or that you "cheated" to look good. (nor does having WLS)

    6. Pregosaurusrex really is pregnant. I checked.
    oooo i think i love you
  • washironfucketc
    washironfucketc Posts: 3
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    I just want to say "HIGH FIVE".

    Everyone has their own look and how they want to be. Everyone has their own journey. We need to focus on our selves and not be critical of others.

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