Father brings his daughter into the men's locker room
Replies
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Dude, I'm SO glad you told him what's up! That is ridiculous and inappropriate for so many reasons!
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I am in the "no biggie" boat on this, because bodies are bodies, and it's all just skin. HOWEVER, if there are family locker rooms, he should use them, and considering the fact that he's now done this twice (that you know of), I'd say he's making the wrong choice.
I used to go to a city rec center that didn't have family locker rooms, and everyone brought their kids in, and everyone was prepared for it and dealt with it. I can totally understand how, if there are family locker rooms available, men are not prepared and caught off guard by a child being in the locker room, so your frustration is acceptable.
What!? You are ridiculous. My 4 year old daughter does not need to see a bunch of D**ks in a locker room. Disgusting.
Please tell me - what is disgusting about a penis? Do you have one (I didn't check your profile)? And clearly you don't think they're that disgusting if you have a daughter and you're a woman...
The human body is never disgusting, and it's people who are shameful and appalled by the human form that perpetuate self image issues in their children. I feel sorry for your daughter that her parent is so hateful toward the natural existence of human bodies.
Eh...penises are pretty yucky. I only put up with the ones I'm around cuz they're attached to people I love.
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No, no, no, no. A body isn't just a body to a 4 year old, especially a 4 year old girl seeing balls and penises swinging around. Just because YOU don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean you should put your kid in that situation not knowing if it will traumatize them or not. Maybe you should just plan ahead instead of finding yourself in a bad situation like that and acting out of desperation.
A child will only be traumatized if their parents shelter them from nudity or tell them that being naked is bad.......Maybe parents need to educate their children before such situations occur. I'm sure there are cutesy children's books that can do that.0 -
Is there no child care room? I'm missing the point as to why she needs to go into a locker room at all?0
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I'm pretty sure yelling at the daughter's dad was more traumatizing to her than seeing some dude change.
Also, goodness gracious, does every gym in the world have a family room? I did not know that.0 -
Um, ewwww. Poor kid. And poor guys I guess.0
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Imagine how "it" looks from her height, too! Jeez!0
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I'm one of the ones that was very shy and anxious as a little girl. Men were big, hairy creatures with deep scary voices. Being around strange men AT ALL was intimidating to me. I can only imagine the terror of being surrounded by their genitals as well. Sorry, but a 4 year old is not blind and stupid. They can identify their parts. While little kids shouldn't be made to feel shame about the body, we need to recognize that many are starting to develop a sense of sexuality, and they may be confused or scared if they are overexposed to strangers' bodies before they are ready. Some kids are more sensitive than others, so don't assume kids don't care.0
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Agree or disagree with me, do not walk up on me when I have my daughter with me. End of story. Take what you want from that.0
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A little off topic but my husband always hated when he would go somewhere alone with my daughter when she was to young to go into a bathroom by herself like at a gas station. He would carry her in with his hand over her eyes and then take her straight to the stall. So in situations like that it is understandable( I think) but if there is another option like a family restroom or locker room then they should just be smart enough to use it.0
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I've read through the responses. Interesting opinions.
My personal experience: I use a women's gym. there is a daycare area for kids, but one woman brought her little boy into the locker room several times. The boy stood in the middle of the aisle and starred at everyone. I was very uncomfortable with that behavior. I asked the mom to keep the kid over beside her and she refused. So I let the staff handle it. It didn't happen again. There is a sign posted: no children allowed. I guess she felt it didn't apply to her. I would feel the same way if the child had been a girl.
When I was about age 5 I saw my father naked for the first time. He made a big issue of it and sent me away in tears. It affected my life in many ways.
In an ideal world none of this would matter one whit. Children and adults would all be comfortable with nudity. It's not an ideal world though. I think the op was right to be upset about the situation.
Can't compare a locker room to a rest room where people are dressed. At least I don't know of ordinary public restrooms where people disrobe.0 -
I'm one of the ones that was very shy and anxious as a little girl. Men were big, hairy creatures with deep scary voices. Being around strange men AT ALL was intimidating to me. I can only imagine the terror of being surrounded by their genitals as well. Sorry, but a 4 year old is not blind and stupid. They can identify their parts. While little kids shouldn't be made to feel shame about the body, we need to recognize that many are starting to develop a sense of sexuality, and they may be confused or scared if they are overexposed to strangers' bodies before they are ready. Some kids are more sensitive than others, so don't assume kids don't care.
I think a healthy level of discussion of the human body and the fact that penises are used for urination and they're just skin that looks different than girls would probably help kids understand that there's nothing wrong/gross/bad/scary about it. And for the record, I have a 17yo daughter who is rather well adjusted as far as her feelings about her body, the opposite sex, and life in general, so I do know a think or two of what the fruck I'm talking about.0 -
Just out of curiousity, would the folks saying its ok for a 4 years old to enter a mens locker room. also say that its ok if a parent or some adult is watching porn in front of a 4 years old? Cussing? Do you fight in front of your 4 years old?
I'm not judging mind you, I am just curious since I am not a parent
How are those things remotely comparable? OMG. Your ignorance is hilarious.
You got me. My ignorance has been amusing to many in the past.
However the question still stands. Do you cuss in front of your kids or watch porn (remember, theres softcore porn or just plain adult naked bodies and pics available too, not just hardcore porn)?
Next time, please elaborate how these two are NOT comparable since the topic at hand is about a 4 years old girl seeing naked men and I am inquiring how is it different from seeing naked bodies on TV/pics
Im not seeing what the big deal is. I am a mother of 2 daughters. I am also in the military who has been on deployments and my husband definitely has brought our kids into a gym locker room, mens' bathroom, dressing rooms etc. The gym we use (on base) has a specific workout room and your kids can accompany you and there was not a "family changing room." Was my husband not supposed to go anywhere or even work out for 7 months? To answer your rediculous questions..... No we do not watch porn in front of the kids, actually dont watch it at all. And cursing..... Not sure how that relates either..... But yes my kids are not so sheltered that they have never heard a swear word. Actually a kid in my daughters class (2nd grade) called my daughter a B**ch, now thats what I call inappropriate. Porn and a Father taking their daughter in a locker room are no where near the same thing. Are woman the only ones allowed to take their children into these types of places?0 -
Dude was out of line if there were other options. Some perspective...
My mom was a nurse and at my house we were very frank about body parts. We didn't do the "down there" or funny names thing. They were vaginas and penises. I knew what they were at a very young age.
BUT.
I didn't see any that belonged to people I didn't know. I saw my brother naked when we were both little kids and that was about it. I never even saw my own parents. I do think it is inappropriate for little kids to be in a situation where they will see STRANGERS naked. It's not about thinking bodies are "gross" but rather that there are some parts of our bodies that we usually keep to ourselves and people we can trust. Penises and vaginas are body parts yes, but they are also sexual organs. Sexuality is natural also, but still private. If you want to be smug about how nonchalant you are about body parts, then by all means walk naked into a grocery store and and allow others to do the same...and don't you dare say a word! It's just like elbows or nostrils!
Except it's not.0 -
Let's not judge so quickly..He might be a great father. If there are other options. Then someone should tell him nicely.0
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yuck yuck yuck... so inappropriate!
^ I so agree with this! This Dad must be clueless0 -
Agreed. If anyone has the audacity to tell me how to parent my son, I will sorely make them regret that decision.Agree or disagree with me, do not walk up on me when I have my daughter with me. End of story. Take what you want from that.0 -
I wouldn't think twice if someone brought a 4 yr old boy into the women's locker room. I don't really see the big deal either. If there were family locker rooms available though then he's just an idiot.
Yeah, ^THIS^.
FFS, its a four year old!
1) probably doesn't even know what she is looking at; and
2) won't know what genitals are for anyway.0 -
Word. Like I already said your comfort is not of my concern. My child's safety is. If you don't like it, not my problem.
Agreed. If anyone has the audacity to tell me how to parent my son, I will sorely make them regret that decision.Agree or disagree with me, do not walk up on me when I have my daughter with me. End of story. Take what you want from that.0 -
I'm sure this has already been addressed, but what about mama's taking their little boys into the bathroom or dressing rooms with them? It happens all the time. I'm not condoning it, but we don't know the mans story. It could be he CAN'T get someone to watch his kid. We don't know.0
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No, no, no, no. A body isn't just a body to a 4 year old, especially a 4 year old girl seeing balls and penises swinging around. Just because YOU don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean you should put your kid in that situation not knowing if it will traumatize them or not. Maybe you should just plan ahead instead of finding yourself in a bad situation like that and acting out of desperation.
A child will only be traumatized if their parents shelter them from nudity or tell them that being naked is bad.......Maybe parents need to educate their children before such situations occur. I'm sure there are cutesy children's books that can do that.
As evidenced by the array of responses & reactions in this thread, each person is different, regardless of whether their parents told them nudity is icky or not. What I'm saying is that parents should not assume their 4 year olds can handle seeing dangling adult genitalia just because they think that their 4 year old selves could have. That's my opinion.0 -
Dude was out of line if there were other options. Some perspective...
My mom was a nurse and at my house we were very frank about body parts. We didn't do the "down there" or funny names thing. They were vaginas and penises. I knew what they were at a very young age.
BUT.
I didn't see any that belonged to people I didn't know. I saw my brother naked when we were both little kids and that was about it. I never even saw my own parents. I do think it is inappropriate for little kids to be in a situation where they will see STRANGERS naked. It's not about thinking bodies are "gross" but rather that there are some parts of our bodies that we usually keep to ourselves and people we can trust. Penises and vaginas are body parts yes, but they are also sexual organs. Sexuality is natural also, but still private. If you want to be smug about how nonchalant you are about body parts, then by all means walk naked into a grocery store and and allow others to do the same...and don't you dare say a word! It's just like elbows or nostrils!
Except it's not.
Hmmm....I am of the "no biggie" camp but I understand this argument. I do tell my son that his penis is a "private part" and that's why they are kept private.0 -
This whole thread seems a tad hypocritical. If a 4 year old boy was brought into the women's locker room, no one would be throwing a fit like they are now.
Actually, that thread went 13 pages back in November or December. A boy was in the changing area of the local swimming pool. Reaction was just as overblown as this
Edited to add: i was off. It only went 3 pages, so this one is a bigger deal.
www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/832441-gym-at-hotel-with-pool-and-children-in-changing-rooms?hl=boy+swimming+changing+room0 -
Also, I'd like to point out that if it was a woman bringing her 4 year old son into a women's locker room, there wouldn't be nearly as large of an uproar.
That's a good point. Here's a post that was made about a 10 y/o boy in the women's changing room. No one really brought porn into it except my opinion that the OP insinuated that the kid was the one that was a creeper.
Overall - this topic was pretty tame compared to this one.
ETA link: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/832441-gym-at-hotel-with-pool-and-children-in-changing-rooms?hl=boy+in+the+gym0 -
No, no, no, no. A body isn't just a body to a 4 year old, especially a 4 year old girl seeing balls and penises swinging around. Just because YOU don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean you should put your kid in that situation not knowing if it will traumatize them or not. Maybe you should just plan ahead instead of finding yourself in a bad situation like that and acting out of desperation.
A child will only be traumatized if their parents shelter them from nudity or tell them that being naked is bad.......Maybe parents need to educate their children before such situations occur. I'm sure there are cutesy children's books that can do that.
As evidenced by the array of responses & reactions in this thread, each person is different, regardless of whether their parents told them nudity is icky or not. What I'm saying is that parents should not assume their 4 year olds can handle seeing dangling adult genitalia just because they think that their 4 year old selves could have. That's my opinion.
Your kids probably not. Mind are good. Thank you very much. And you and your type, stay away from my kids.0 -
BIG difference between 10 and 4. HUGE. I would understand and issue with a 10 year old being in the changing room.Also, I'd like to point out that if it was a woman bringing her 4 year old son into a women's locker room, there wouldn't be nearly as large of an uproar.
That's a good point. Here's a post that was made about a 10 y/o boy in the women's changing room. No one really brought porn into it except my opinion that the OP insinuated that the kid was the one that was a creeper.
Overall - this topic was pretty tame compared to this one.0 -
BIG difference between 10 and 4. HUGE. I would understand and issue with a 10 year old being in the changing room.Also, I'd like to point out that if it was a woman bringing her 4 year old son into a women's locker room, there wouldn't be nearly as large of an uproar.
That's a good point. Here's a post that was made about a 10 y/o boy in the women's changing room. No one really brought porn into it except my opinion that the OP insinuated that the kid was the one that was a creeper.
Overall - this topic was pretty tame compared to this one.
Well, just brought it up to point out the difference in reactions as an example to what you were talking about.
ETA link: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/832441-gym-at-hotel-with-pool-and-children-in-changing-rooms?hl=boy+in+the+gym
I added it in my first post but you quoted before I submitted .. lol...just in case anyone wanted to read it
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If u have family locker rooms at your gym/ymca and he didnt use them he should be reported to the staff. Unacceptable. Any gym where kids are allowed should have them. I understand taking a child of the opposite sex into a restroom if you have to in public, considering I wouldn't let a kid use the restroom at a ballgame or the mall unattended. But a locker room where people are naked? Inappropriate.
At my ymca there are family locker rooms available but the womens locker room is ok for kids something like 5 & under (possibly a bit older, idk. I dont have kids) I saw a woman with a boy about kindergarten age in there and I tried to dress as quickly as possible while hiding behind a towel while he stared at me. If he was really young enough that his presence isn't a big deal then why was he gawking? At 5 or 6 he was old enough to notice differences and be curious about them. So unless a kid is under 3 yrs I think they belong in family locker rooms.0 -
BIG difference between 10 and 4. HUGE. I would understand and issue with a 10 year old being in the changing room.Also, I'd like to point out that if it was a woman bringing her 4 year old son into a women's locker room, there wouldn't be nearly as large of an uproar.
That's a good point. Here's a post that was made about a 10 y/o boy in the women's changing room. No one really brought porn into it except my opinion that the OP insinuated that the kid was the one that was a creeper.
Overall - this topic was pretty tame compared to this one.
Agreed. 10 is on the verge of puberty. HUGE difference!0 -
I feel uncomfortable in the locker room even on my own... so throw a child in the mix and you just turned an awkward watering hole into a too muchery incident.0
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