An ex attack
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That's why he is your ex. You should keep it in your head to motivate the f@#k out of you. that is all.
Yep, My ex told me I was fat, disgusting and no one would ever want to be with me if I left him. That's what manipulative abusers do anyway. He brainwashed me for a long time before I got the courage to leave.
You are beautiful, consider yourself lucky that is over and didn't turn into a long term relationship!0 -
Funny title...
He's pissed because from the looks of things you've dropped a ton of weight and he's acting like an angry, insecure little boy.
Congratulations. You lost even more weight that was just holding you back.
Want to get back at him? Have an amazing life. There's nothing better.
You're gonna be just fine.0 -
Doesn't sound like you're friends at all. People and their words only have as much power as you let them.
Well Said, you took the words out of my keyboard.,0 -
Thank you so much!Ex's are Ex's for a reason. I'm not sure I'd stay "friends" with someone like that. I personally try to only save my time for friends who love, encourage and support, anyone else isn't worth you time...
On a completely different note: HOLY CATS! I looked through your photo's and I see a huge change in all of your pictures. You have legs that in those dresses look like they go on for miles! You're really pretty. Don't let some A-hole get you to believe otherwise.0 -
Well it sounds like you dodged a bullet with this one. No need to have ANYTHING else to do with him. He blatantly used his knowledge of your personal insecurities to hurt you. Had you still be in a relationship with this fool, I would have called it toxic. Be relieved and moved on. He just said those things to hurt you. You don't have to let him succeed at it.0
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Words hurt, I was told I was fat ugly and unloveable, that I would be better off dead, almost 15 years ago. I still struggle with that, but I didn't let it define me, I know I am better than that. You are beautiful and he is a fcuktard. He knows your weak spot and went for it. You deserve better than that. Cut ties, he obviously can't handle seeing you happy and must tear you down to make himself feel better.0
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I just want to start out by saying that although I'm 28, I've never been in a real legitimate, long term relationship. That's the curse of being an unconfident fat girl for most of my life. That being said, I did just get out of a short term relationship (only 2 months). It was nowhere near serious and we decided to be friends. Last night, we got to arguing and we both said some pretty rude things but then he got real nasty. I never once attacked him as a man, but he had no problem attacking me as a woman. He said I wasn't sexy or confident. He said some other really rude and nasty things, but I won't get into that. Before he said that, I actually felt confident AND sexy. I don't have a problem attracting men or getting dates, and my confidence is sooo much higher than it used to be. I'm outgoing and I love talking to people. But what he said got to me. I was up half the night thinking about it and I'm not sure how to handle that kind of attack. I told him early on that I had lost a lot of weight so that when it comes to showing off my body, I still have issues with that. He seemed okay with it, but he brought that up in our argument too. I feel like a part of me took a serious hit. I feel like what he said pushed me back a bit, progress wise. I have done so well, building myself up, not only improving my body, but how I feel about myself. I don't want to feel like this! I guess I would like to know if anyone has been attacked like this before...and if so, how did you handle it and move on from that? I'm afraid his comments will be at the back of my mind for a while now, and I just want to erase them. I mentioned my inexperience with men because I'm wondering if that's part of the reason I'm taking it so hard? Do some women just bounce right back from a verbal attack like that? Anyways, any input would be appreciated. I really just want to move past this and somehow erase it out of my mind. Thanks!
don't fret over it.
it's like a 3-year old who doesn't get her way screaming that she "hates" her parents.
the 3-year old doesn't really hate her parents. it's just that in that moment she is so angry that she wants to lash out and the only thing she can come up with that she thinks will hurt her parents is to say that she "hates" them.
that's what that guy was doing last night. he's a dirtbag for saying it, but in that moment, odds are that he was just lashing out and trying to hurt you. he fixated on your insecurities because he knew it would hurt you.
some people are just like that. cut them out of your life and say "good riddance".0 -
Look how amazing you look now! Go back and look at progress pictures of yourself. Every time you think of what he said, remind yourself how far you've come and how great you are feeling about that.
I know it's hard not to focus on the negative/abusive things said to us. I've battled this myself. You've got to counter attack those thoughts with positive ones of the amazing person you are.
You're beautiful. You deserve better "friends" than what he is. Don't keep toxic people in your life.0 -
Thank you so much!Ex's are Ex's for a reason. I'm not sure I'd stay "friends" with someone like that. I personally try to only save my time for friends who love, encourage and support, anyone else isn't worth you time...
On a completely different note: HOLY CATS! I looked through your photo's and I see a huge change in all of your pictures. You have legs that in those dresses look like they go on for miles! You're really pretty. Don't let some A-hole get you to believe otherwise.
Just speaking the truth.
I've been in relationships like that... I've also found it handy to cut off ties with any relationship that lasts over a week... (Some people get creepier and *kitten*-holier the longer you know them!) 0 -
They say things to bring you down...it was a fight and men are quicker to the low blows...especially if they don't mean them. Even if he did feel that way about you and your body...you are not living for him...you are living for you and have changed you body and mind for you!! Don't let his stupid comment set you back at all. Look in the mirror and know you are better then that, and only going to get better from here...and then some day he'll see you out and about showing off your amazing body and feel truley like the crappy guy he was that day!!0
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I had someone like this in my life quite a few years agoo now....6 years ago to be exact. We were together for 4 years, and the last couple years we were together, I had been putting on a lot of weight. The more he said, the more I ate. He made comments like "I can hear you getting fatter", he made comments like this even if i was only eating a salad, and he was mowing his two double cheese burgers! He would tell me that I was too fat and ugly to find physically attractive. I am still struggling with this still, to this day, six years later. ..Unfortunately, I stuck it out with him for far too long, and now I am dealing with the scars. I still have Major self esteem issues, and I am afraid I always will! I am working hard to improve my self image, and I have to learn that fat or not, I am not the worthless lump he made me feel like!0
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Oh my gosh! Have you looked at yourself lately? I looked at your pictures and you look amazing! You lost a lot of weight. Do NOT let him bring you down. It sounds like he just really wanted to hurt you and he knew what to say to get to you. Please keep your head up and keep the confidence you worked hard for. We're here for you!!!0
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I would love to tell you to completely let it go and move on, but unfortunately, I don't think it always works like that. People will say that someone else's words and actions can only affect you if you allow them to. That being said, I'm one of those people, who like you, let words from those I care about (and sometimes those I don't care about) affect me. Profoundly.
What I would suggest for you (and what I try to remember myself) is to remember that only YOU can make you feel better about yourself. It's not up to some guy to assure you of that. YOU have to love yourself! You've worked hard, you are strong, and beautiful! Don't give someone else the satisfaction of taking those facts away and making you doubt yourself. Hold your head up high!! 0 -
That's why he is your ex. You should keep it in your head to motivate the f@#k out of you. that is all.
Yep, My ex told me I was fat, disgusting and no one would ever want to be with me if I left him. That's what manipulative abusers do anyway. He brainwashed me for a long time before I got the courage to leave.
You are beautiful, consider yourself lucky that is over and didn't turn into a long term relationship!
Exactly. My ex would break me down and at one point we got in an argument that was so harsh that he made me cry... once I was tearing up he looked at me with absolute disgust and said "you're fcking ugly when you cry. well, I guess you aren't much better when you're not." He was definitely manipulative and loved to break me down, making me too scared to leave that gawdawful marriage. I still remember most of the comments he made. But I have moved on and use that for motivation.
You are incredibly beautiful! Don't ever let anyone else make you think otherwise!0 -
He is unworthy of you I saw the before pic in your profile you have come a looonnnggg way. Be compassionate with yourself and leave him alone. Trust me you can do better than someone who would say or even think such things. Get active doing the things you want to do. You will find someone who like to do them too.0
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He said things during the arguement intentionally to hurt you. Obviously, it worked. Don't let it. He knew exactly what to say.
He used information you gave him during the relationship to hurt you. The good news is, it is not really how he felt during the relationship.
I'm not saying it is right. Be glad he's gone.
You ARE the person you felt you were. ...confident, sexy, ect.0 -
I can see where his comments would be hard to shake...but here's the thing: they reflect way more on who he is than who you are. He, in a pinch, was not afraid to pull out the big guns and use your deepest fears and insecurities against you, just to win an argument. He's a douche, and his character is no reflection on who you are.0
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Funny title...
He's pissed because from the looks of things you've dropped a ton of weight and he's acting like an angry, insecure little boy.
Congratulations. You lost even more weight that was just holding you back.
Want to get back at him? Have an amazing life. There's nothing better.
You're gonna be just fine.
Believe this. 100%.0 -
Dont forget what he said, I know it hurts at the time but experiences like these are the ones that make us who we are and shape us into the people we will be,
You will only get stronger from this, and learn to see the negative things in people that may eventually ruin a relationship.
It will take time (i just came out of a year long relationship) but you will get there and with the people here you will succeed in all of your goals and remember
YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON
YOU ARE PRETTY
YOU ARE KIND
YOU ARE FUNNY
AND YOU CAN DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT
SIMPLY PUT
YOU ARE AMAZING!!0 -
He only attacked you verbally because he is unhappy with himself. Someone who is confident and happy does not need to attack someone else so viciously. You are still young and there are way too many men out there that won't need to feel to knock you down.
You should be happy that you found out how nasty he can get early on. This can be an early sign of abuse. Move on and focus on yourself.0
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