An ex attack
Replies
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Nope. The "just break up" comment has nothing to do with this post and is pretty much always disrespectful and unnecessary. She clearly said she wasn't even with him anymore but good try attempting to make it relevant... It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say. It's old~very old. It was funny maybe the first or second time. Come up with some new material already! :yawn::
Actually, she mentioned they were trying to make it work as friends. So yes, it is relevant. She needs to just break up with him, forget about him, move one with her life, start dating a better guy (in short - just break up).
It's not meant to be funny, it's meant to be direct.
Yes, meant to be funny...never funny to the OP though, huh?
Really? Cause you're the OP... oh wait, you aren't....0 -
The first thing I want to say is that if you two actually want to stay friends in the long run, you need to spend a few months apart from each other. You can't go from a relationship to friendship overnight. Tell him you need to be able to clear your head and to that, you cannot be around him for a while. If he is an *kitten* about it, then you don't need be with him in any sense of the word.
The second thing is that he said what he knew would hurt you. When people become angry, they insult each other in the worst ways possible. What he said struck a cord with you because it is still something you are working on. When I was in school ( high and middle school) I was not popular. I was bullied every single day until I shut down and stopped talking to anybody. I had zero confidence. It wasn't until I met my husband that I began to feel good about myself. But even now, I feel self-conscious. Those words will stick with you. The only thing you can do is to use those words to motivate yourself until you look so amazing that those words no longer apply to you. Once they are no longer even remotely truthful TO YOU, then you will move on. Remember to keep pushing yourself. Use whatever you need to give you motivation whether it be faith, friends, or just your own inner willpower. I believe in you. Your friends believe in you. Everyone on this site believes in you. Believe in yourself and you will go far!0 -
Nope. The "just break up" comment has nothing to do with this post and is pretty much always disrespectful and unnecessary. She clearly said she wasn't even with him anymore but good try attempting to make it relevant... It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say. It's old~very old. It was funny maybe the first or second time. Come up with some new material already! :yawn::
Actually, she mentioned they were trying to make it work as friends. So yes, it is relevant. She needs to just break up with him, forget about him, move one with her life, start dating a better guy (in short - just break up).
It's not meant to be funny, it's meant to be direct.
Yes, meant to be funny...never funny to the OP though, huh?
I am the one who posted the comment so I will tell you how it was meant to be.0 -
'It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.
I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.
oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....
really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?
then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.
Please.
we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.
She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.
i cant take it anymore.
edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
I don't think anyone is my enemy (nor do I care to be quite honest) but I do think it's childish. She clearly posted it for support not for smug "just break up" comments. Is it supportive, genuine, original, sincere, kind, helpful etc? No! It's just someting that the same people post over and over again to amuse each other. If you still find it funny after seeing it posted 100 times a day then more power to you. I don't. I can't take the "just break up" comments (or the multitude of other copy and paste comments that end up on every thread) and you can't take that people complain about them. For the record, I've said this ONE TIME and ONE TIME only because this asinine comment was made on a friends post who I DO CARE about. So if you're lumping me in with people who constantly complain, then I guess you're judging too...
Yet you hijacked your own friend's thread based on 3 simple words that could have easily been ignored. Bravo.0 -
Sometimes people say stupid things b/c they're bitter/hurt. He must have been attracted to you at some point to be in a relationship with you, and since it was only two months, I doubt you look dramatically different. Yes, what he said was ridiculous and unnecessary, but you really have two choices here: deal with it and get over it or let it eat at you. Personally, I'd choose the former. :flowerforyou:0
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To the OP, you're always going to face people in your life that will either try or succeed at bringing you down. It's up to you to decide that they don't matter, that their words don't matter. I've cut out a couple of toxic family members that would do nothing but call me fat, ugly, etc. The minute I stopped LETTING their words matter to me, that's when I started to realize that nobody can make me feel anything that I don't let them make me feel.
You'll get through this. Start by thinking about the things you like about yourself. Remind yourself EVERY day.0 -
It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.
I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.
oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....
really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?
then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.
Please.
we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.
She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.
i cant take it anymore.
edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
I don't think anyone is my enemy (nor do I care to be quite honest) but I do think it's childish. She clearly posted it for support not for smug "just break up" comments. Is it supportive, genuine, original, sincere, kind, helpful etc? No! It's just someting that the same people post over and over again to amuse each other. If you still find it funny after seeing it posted 100 times a day then more power to you. I don't. I can't take the "just break up" comments (or the multitude of other copy and paste comments that end up on every thread) and you can't take that people complain about them. For the record, I've said this ONE TIME and ONE TIME only because this asinine comment was made on a friends post who I DO CARE about. So if you're lumping me in with people who constantly complain, then I guess you're judging too...
I dont understand why you have to announce when you see something on the internet that is childish. 80% of the internet is childish. She clearly posted it in chit chat, not support. She probably wanted a little humor or comedic relief to break up the sad, dont you think?Is it supportive, genuine, original, sincere, kind, helpful etc? No!
this isnt therapy, its the wild. Its the international, non-american, entire globe of humanity, with the rights to not be slandered, prejudiced against (thanks by the way, for prejudging half the people here - sweet) or have your privacy invaded. There is no right to support, right to sincerity or right to not be offended,
you have the right to pose a question or thought to the public and receive a general public reply.
I did not say that you post this a million times, i said i see it 5 times a week or whatever. You know how often I see the break up comment?
about once or twice a week, and believe me, i see almost every thread.
now, you wanna be judgy, you be judgy, but dont expect everyone to shut up and take it lying down. You call people out in public, they will respond. responding is not judging, its responding.
Im putting you on ignore, because personal attacks in the main forums are against TOS, but believe me, I avoid everyone who hates people so much that they have to put it in writing.
I wish you the best in your weight loss journey0 -
None of my friends would treat me like that. I hope you stick to your decision to cut him off completely.
He is a coward who went for the cheap shot, and you are giving him power over you that he doesn't deserve. His childish words should not detract from your progress.
Don't give negative people power over your heart, your feelings, or your self-worth. The source of his comments was ugliness; why let that into your life or your mind? Throw it away like the garbage it is and move on with your life.0 -
he is no friend. Remove him from your life.
This x 1000. Move on. Don't call him, text him, FB him, tweet him, etc. to let him know. Just terminate all contact with him, and don't look back.
Also, I'll echo what others have said about your successes so far. Way to go!0 -
Yoovie for President0
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Oh and just so everyone knows, I did break ties with him! I respect myself too much to put up with that. I may be in a fragile state of mind right now, but I know I don't deserve that!
Thanks again for all the awesome responses! You are all great!
Attagirl. Now go forth and conquer life.0 -
I thought about putting it under support and motivation, but thought I would get slammed for that as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related (as someone already pointed out). Hence the reason it's here.It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.
I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.
oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....
really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?
then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.
Please.
we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.
She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.
i cant take it anymore.
edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too0 -
'It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.
I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.
oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....
really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?
then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.
Please.
we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.
She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.
i cant take it anymore.
edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
I don't think anyone is my enemy (nor do I care to be quite honest) but I do think it's childish. She clearly posted it for support not for smug "just break up" comments. Is it supportive, genuine, original, sincere, kind, helpful etc? No! It's just someting that the same people post over and over again to amuse each other. If you still find it funny after seeing it posted 100 times a day then more power to you. I don't. I can't take the "just break up" comments (or the multitude of other copy and paste comments that end up on every thread) and you can't take that people complain about them. For the record, I've said this ONE TIME and ONE TIME only because this asinine comment was made on a friends post who I DO CARE about. So if you're lumping me in with people who constantly complain, then I guess you're judging too...
Yet you hijacked your own friend's thread based on 3 simple words that could have easily been ignored. Bravo.
The thread was pretty much dead when she received the same SUPPORTIVE advice from many people. She already has ended it with him so moot point. I'm not here to argue and yes, of course I could have ignored it but I didn't. It's clear that everyone who is guilty of what I discussed will continue to stick together and spout insincere comments but I have no desire to be like that. I came to mfp to be supported and supportive but I guess others find it entertaining to act otherwise. I'm done here.0 -
It's a weak minded and small hearted person that attacks someones inner weaknesses. I learned that years ago. Don't take anything to heart that a person like that says. I'm sure if he has half a conscience, he regrets his words in angst but may never tell you that. Move on knowing that you have learned that things said in the heat of the moment might feel good then, but won't feel good to you later; you can't take them back. "Speak in anger and make the best speach you will ever regret." One of my favorite quotes from a source I cannot currently remember.
Move forward. You are worth more. You are changing yourself and making yourself better everday, not many people strive to be better, but you have. You'll find what you're looking for and that person won't make your mind spin wondering if you're less of a person.
Good luck with your journey!0 -
It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.
I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.
oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....
really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?
then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.
Please.
we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.
She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.
i cant take it anymore.
edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
You are so much better with words than I am. All of this times a billion.
I approve these messages.0 -
I thought about putting it under support and motivation, but thought I would get slammed for that as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related (as someone already pointed out). Hence the reason it's here.It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.
I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.
oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....
really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?
then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.
Please.
we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.
She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.
i cant take it anymore.
edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
Do you feel supported? Did you get the advice you needed?0 -
you who ever said sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me, must've never had a "loved one" to say something corefully hurtful to them. Two years ago my EX-wife said words similar, she told me i was disgusting and that she didnt want to touch me. We would go months without intimacy. Well I am sure you've heard this advice by now in the thread however I used those words as a catalyst to becoming a better, wiser, stronger me. I had to learn that the only person that can help my self-esteem was mySELF. Which is why it's called self-esteem, however when we continue to put stock in others affirmation of us it molds our co-dependacy. Being loved is great, but when someone who once loved you know your darkest secrets and use them as weapons you still have to have enough mental fortitude to still believe in yourself and make it happen. As long as you decide to love then hurt is going to be involved, no one is perfect. The hurt may be severe but it's always possible. It's human nature, it's also human nature that when we fail at something we lash out and anything around us, men are very good at displaying anger. We use it to mask our own insecurities, fears, and frustrations. I suggest you process what was said and resolve within yourself no matter what is recycling in you, know that you are more than what was spoken. No matter how many hundreds of people encourage you and believe in you it's to no avail if you do not believe in yourself and become a better you. Use the negative for positive re-enforcement the pain will go away, the more you obsess over it the longer it will take. Don't give it home in your heart or mind, put it out and put him out too :-) every woman deserves to treated like a Queen and every man deserves to treated like a King. No one can de value you when you know you're priceless. Good luck to you and the hurt is only for a little while, but him knowing he lost a great thing could potentially haunt him forever. Become the good thing and then you'll be a great thing for someone who will appreciate you and your struggle. Grace and Peace0
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Move on.0
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My coworker said something to me once that really stuck.
"Every woman is beautiful. You just have to find the man who can see that beauty."0 -
people who are happy normally don't try to make others unhappy regardless of the situation. with that being said, focus on the positive. i'm sure you have so many other things to focus on that bring you joy. if you're a praying woman then say a prayer for him if you aren't then don't. whatever you do you need to remove him from your life 100%. i went thru your pics and you've done a great job. congrats on all of your success!0
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My coworker said something to me once that really stuck.
"Every woman is beautiful. You just have to find the man who can see that beauty."
Like! :flowerforyou:0 -
No I didn't. I wanted support. I would have posted it under the other topic, but I've been here long enough to see people get slammed for posting things like this under topics they don't belong. Seeing as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related, I wanted to try to avoid the back talk. Guess it didn't work!
I dont understand why you have to announce when you see something on the internet that is childish. 80% of the internet is childish. She clearly posted it in chit chat, not support. She probably wanted a little humor or comedic relief to break up the sad, dont you think?
[0 -
Do you respect him?
Do you value his opinion?
Do you think he is intelligent on that particular subject (femininity, confidence, ability to spot sexiness, etc)?
Is it possible that he was saying something mean because he was angry, and he saw an opportunity to attack your vulnerability?
Is it possible that he said something that you have been struggling with?
You don't need a husband like that, a boyfriend like that, and that certainly isn't a friend. Tell him to lose your number, and see a therapist to work through your issues. (I did, and it was the best choice I've made!)0 -
You're actually quite hot...and pretty...
What's that old quote? Something like "It's none of your business what other people think about you."
Let it roll off your back. Don't give those remarks any valuable real estate in your head.
It was an argument and he wasn't following the rules of arguing. You don't attack people emotionally like that. He probably felt under attack so he lashed out trying to hurt you and since he knew where you were vulnerable, he hit those spots. Please don't give it any credence.0 -
It's clear that everyone who is guilty of what I discussed will continue to stick together and spout insincere comments but I have no desire to be like that.
You are categorizing and attacking an entire group people. You're "sick of it" as you said, so stay out of this section. It's a really simple solution.0 -
sometimes things get hated and you both say some things that you really didn't mean. I have done it and I've been there myself. You just have to chalk it up as him being a jerk, I would move past it at the very least, we are usually jerks when we are hurt (I know I can't be friends with any of my ex gf's so I know where he's coming from and he can't be around anyone and see you happy if he isn't)0
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Oh and just so everyone knows, I did break ties with him! I respect myself too much to put up with that. I may be in a fragile state of mind right now, but I know I don't deserve that!
Thanks again for all the awesome responses! You are all great!
Which is why Dani's advice, "Just break up" - is the best advice you'll get. It doesn't mean just break up with a boyfriend, etc....it can also mean to end things, walk away from the situation...just break up with whatever it is that is bringing negativity into your life etc. The phrase holds a lot of meaning and applies to so much of life...breaking up with your "bad" self, etc.
So when Dani or anyone says, "Just break up..." ...really think about it.0 -
No I didn't. I wanted support. I would have posted it under the other topic, but I've been here long enough to see people get slammed for posting things like this under topics they don't belong. Seeing as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related, I wanted to try to avoid the back talk. Guess it didn't work!
I dont understand why you have to announce when you see something on the internet that is childish. 80% of the internet is childish. She clearly posted it in chit chat, not support. She probably wanted a little humor or comedic relief to break up the sad, dont you think?
[
Understandable. Did my comment offend or upset you?0 -
Absolutely! I'm extremely grateful for the kind responses I've received. That was just in response to the person who thought I posted it here because I wanted comedic relief or that I posted it here to set a "tone." I did not have a tone in mind when I posted.
I thought about putting it under support and motivation, but thought I would get slammed for that as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related (as someone already pointed out). Hence the reason it's here.It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.
I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.
oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....
really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?
then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.
Please.
we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.
She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.
i cant take it anymore.
edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
Do you feel supported? Did you get the advice you needed?0 -
No. I just thought you misunderstood why I was posting. Didn't want advice on how to handle the guy, just on the emotions he caused. I do understand where you are coming from though. Thanks!
No I didn't. I wanted support. I would have posted it under the other topic, but I've been here long enough to see people get slammed for posting things like this under topics they don't belong. Seeing as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related, I wanted to try to avoid the back talk. Guess it didn't work!
I dont understand why you have to announce when you see something on the internet that is childish. 80% of the internet is childish. She clearly posted it in chit chat, not support. She probably wanted a little humor or comedic relief to break up the sad, dont you think?
[
Understandable. Did my comment offend or upset you?0
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