Worst pickup lines you've either used or had used on you...

Bro listen up - all women care about is themselves. Give them space they want to be closer. Be close they want space. Give all your time up for them they want you to take time for yourself. These have all happend to me, your bro doctor.

So when you are using pick-up lines you dont need anything fancy - you aren't looking for a wifey. You are looking for a 22, 34, or whatever dollar you are willing do spend on drinks one-nighter.

So here's what you do, they want to know alot about you, so lie. Listen to what they say. Us good bro agents have very good perrifrials, so as their lips move we stare at the chest - unnoticed, like a NINJA (broinja we call it). So if you have a girlfriend then practice this on her, so when she dumps you after realizing you hookup with skanks at the bar you will have perfected your art of boob-watching.

Get her to talk about her dogs, anything at all thats personal or she will blab about! If shes with a friend this makes it better - you will never run out of things to talk about, plus you can pick both up (literally happened to your bro-sensay before!)

You literally have to walk up and start with this : Let me buy you a drink (or any variation of the phrase) if she says yes then its set. If she is willing to take a drink from you then she will want to sleep with you! Challenge her to shots and get them nice and drunk - then play some pool with them, when the blood flows and you are drinking you dont realize you are so drunk until you sit down. If she proceeds to pass out then its a homerun! You can carry her out. But if she is coherant enough then you havent done your job. If shes drunk and not wanting to go home with you make her cry - in otherwords listen to more crap till she opens up REALLY to you then she will confide then trust and walah! 3-4 hours of time for 30-40 min of sex ! Another knotch in the bed post, and another practice session successful!

How many women want to *****slap this dude with me right now???

what is the *****? does that say dirty?

What kinda eggs would like with your breakfast?

That note was left on my car. First I hate eggs, second that is a bit presumptuous.

The note is actually really scary. How did he know which was your car? :O

You're supposed to say "unfertilized!" Hahaha

Does this look infected?

No one ever uses bad pick up lines on me.....


*sad barbie*

I was thinking the same thing.... :sad:

it has been a long time but when I was single this guy said

I know just what you need!

and after I was married

I wont tell him if you don't

Oh my goodness! Where to start!? I think "Sup lil mama" is by far the most annoying one, but definitely not the worst. I once had a guy come back up to the place I worked (retail) 20 mins after having a convo w/him and his 4-5 YO daughter. He handed me a folded note, told me REPEATEDLY not to read it until he was out of the store, while backing up and holding his hands up like I had a gun. The note essentially told me to come over so he could rail me, and gave me his address. Another time, I was grocery shopping with my mom (years ago) and a guy started hitting on my mom and making her giggle like a little girl (adorable) I made a comment something like, "Watch out momma, I'm gonna have to tell dad he's got some competition." the guy then turns to me and said something to the effect of "Actually, I was trying to get your attention, but I guess it's not working." Of course, my mom then tried to talk me into getting to know him. That boy turned my momma into his wingman! ROFL I think my favorite by far though was one that happened several months ago. This weird guy was trying to tell me that he was sore from working out (but was phrasing it like a question while leaning up against the jewelry counter and doing standing pushups) and then told me he stays at home and watches his niece all day. I told him I'm not a fan of kids and he ran off. There was a guy at work that not too long ago that kept trying to put his hands on me and give me a massage and my head manager went looking for him to kick him out. Dude, I get weird people all the time at work... Oh and drive thrus! I have an awkward romance w/the guy at the Wendy's drive thru by work. At first, he was sweet, but once when I asked for ketchup, he held onto my hand and didn't want to let it go. I had to drive away w/my hand out the window to break the hold while he yelled out, "You're really cute!" Now when I pull up, he always says something like, "HEY! ITS YOU!" with an astonished look on his face. Maybe I should start paying in cash instead of giving him my card.... *sigh* What can I say? I love my JBC sans the C....

Oh, I've heard a BUNCH.
My favorite one though was, "Hey, have you ever heard your name whispered from a mountain top?"
Me: "No, I don't think so.."
With him flexing, he whispers, "Jennifer.." over his bicep.

OH MY WOW! I love this!! I love cheesy pick up lines!! They make me swoon :smooched:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Bloke - "What are you drinking ladies?"
Girls - "Vodka & cranberry juice please."

Bloke - "Wow, do you all have cystitis?

You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Bloke - "What are you drinking ladies?"
Girls - "Vodka & cranberry juice please."

Bloke - "Wow, do you all have cystitis?

You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?

OMG wow :LOL

azz, gas or grass.. nobody rides for free....

your name must be Mary because i would love to marry you

Some random at the bar one night :

"Don't worry... I've had vasectomy."

Seriously... :laugh:

Can we go to the bakery you were made so I can pick up a cutiepie like you?

I'm just looking for a tall blonde who can suck the balls off a trailer hitch.

At the bar and my boyfriend walks up front to get some pool balls. This idiot approaches me and says, "Was that your boyfriend? There's no way someone as good looking as you would date him!"

Yeah....good job buddy. Try to hit on me by insulting the man I love and implying that I am shallow. Loser moron. I made him feel like a d*ck and he ended up buying my BF and I a beer.