Probably going to get slammed for this, but...



  • lorib75
    lorib75 Posts: 490 Member
    SLAMMED! :grumble:
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
    When I see my friends who I haven't seen in a while; whether they've gained, lost or even remained the same - I ALWAYS think they look good - because I love them and to me, they are beautiful!

    Don't be so hard on your friend - she probably genuinely meant it and wanted you to feel good because she'd not seen you in a while, and felt she'd neglected you? Maybe it's your own insecurities that's making you think she was being vindictive.

    You say she's lost 50lbs? Why not take some advice/ tips/ motivation from her. I'm sure she'd be flattered!

  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
    Seems like your friend had 3 choices...

    1. Cut the red wire
    2. Cut the blue wire
    3. Tell the bomb it was pretty

    "oh hey! I haven't seen you in so long! you look like you ate a house!"


    "hey! How have you been I've missed you!"


    "You're so pretty!"

    I know which one I'd Choose:

    "Cake is delicious." are my kind of funny :D I like!
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    This is silly. You gaining weight doesn't mean you can't look great. If that were the case, I guess I NEVER look great because I weigh more than you! lol Now, I know I look great, so I don't need any validation from my friend to tell me that...And I guarantee you had she said you're overweight, you would have posted a thread complaining about the audacity of this girl to comment on your weight. :wink:
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
    People can look great regardless of weight...maybe your hair was really nice that day, or she liked your outfit. Don't just assume everyone is being a ****head.
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,454 Member
    In what world would a friend see you for the first time in a long time and bust out with "Damn, girl, you have gotten fatter! You need to get yourself to a gym!" I cannot imagine this scenario ending well, no matter what. I could see if YOU had said, "Damn, girl, you look fantastic! I need to get myself into a gym..." and she chimed in with "Come with me!! You would love my place." But I cannot see someone just leading off with how fat you've gotten.

    She might have thought you looked good not based on your weight, but based on your hair, skin, clothes, or a hundred other little details... but if YOU don't think you look great, that's another thing entirely. And if you want to do something to make yourself feel better about the way you look, go for it. You might start by asking her what she did to lose those fifty pounds.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    I could tell by the way she said it and how she spent the next few minutes describing how she got in shape that what she said was just a back-handed compliment.

    Or, you could be more self-conscious of your weight, and be negatively projecting your insecurities of your weight onto her happiness in getting fit?

    FYI: There's been quite a few psychological studies on the attractiveness of friends to other friends. You guys said you used to be close friends. She hadn't seen you in awhile. She was probably feeling good and more positive with her own success.

    She probably did think you looked good.

    I agree with this. I find myself complimenting people more often now that I feel better about myself.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    You assumed you were going to get "slammed" for this, why? It seems you obviously already know you're overreacting and oversensitive.

    Some people really do sincerely mean and believe the compliments they give.

    Why are so many women nucking futs?
  • Southernb3lle
    Southernb3lle Posts: 862 Member
    Sometimes women friends can be major beoyches!
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Why is everyone being so mean? This site is for motivation and support! I mean, even the section is called that.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    maybe in her eyes you do look good.... :noway:


    Impossible. Everyone* knows that looks are objective and are based almost entirely on weight. If she was a true friend, she would have led off with a narrative of things about you which she didn't like.


    *on MFP, that is.
  • julesy_b
    julesy_b Posts: 26 Member
    Not a good friend. She should be supportive. I actually find myself in a similar situation, my group of friends are constantly on diets every one imaginable, they go up and down etc. all the time. Its all over my facebook news feed on how much they've lost. I've been on here and really going for it since before christmas but I dont feel the need to put it everyone thats whay my MFP is for. Anyway I bumped into one of them yesterday and she said i was too skinny!! grrrrr.. if you can't say anything helpful stay quiet, well done you for trying we dont all need to broadcast everything everywhere xx
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    Yeah right, you know damn well if someone told you that you looked like a heifer and needed to get to the gym and lose weight, you'd think they were being a douche.
  • firemanfive0
    firemanfive0 Posts: 228 Member
    Guys NEVER have this problem...we just don't care.

  • Personally, I think she was insulting you and, people often put others down to make them feel better. I think you know your friend and she was giving you a very backhanded comment. You were not wrong.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Curse her for feeling good about herself. She must be being rude and cutting you down. Obviously.

    And THIS is why I have very few women friends. They always think you have some ulterior motive for your comments.
  • caitlyn30
    caitlyn30 Posts: 207 Member
    fat or skinny isn't the only thing that makes a person looking good. maybe your hair was cute and healthy. maybe your skin had no acne. maybe you gained weight but still looked good!!!
  • Damn girl, you have gotten fatter - you should really get to a gym.

    You're welcome.

    Yes, be my friend too!