Getting picked on about what you eat at work?

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Luckily, my co workers are all on board with this weight loss with me. They are MFP members, also! So, we share recipes and ideas rather than being down on each other about what we eat.

However, I have had comments while at my in-laws. My mother in law shook a bag of cat treats in front of me at the dinner table over Christmas saying, "here girl! here! This is what you eat right?" Because I'm a lot smaller than when my husband and I first started dating.

I'm also always pushed to "get seconds" and "why aren't you having dessert?" and "there's no way you're full."

I think they mean well, but I have to be strict because, for me, I can get off track easily in those situations.

I rarely eat desert, extremely rarely. Even when I wasn't trying to lose weight. Firsts really actually make me full, seconds make me fat. Bummer that you MIL does things like that. You look fantastic by the way!

Same. I only have dessert on like a birthday or anniversary or something like that. My ML doesn't like me much, I don't think. When I started losing weight she asked if I was getting thin so I could find a new boyfriend. (Like, a month before my wedding. To her son.)

Thank you!!

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".

She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?

I remember a few years ago I would regularly buy two cans of apple juice with my lunch from the restaurant next door to where I worked, because I was regularly shoving around very heavy boxes (anywhere from 1-100lbs+) and that had to last me from around 12pm to 6/7pm. Said restaurant was regularly patroned by cops and meter-maids, and one day a police officer decided to get cute at me and made a snarky comment about that habit of mine, having seen me do it a few times by then.
His table had a good chuckle at my expense and I just gave him a nasty glare then went on my way.

I think my glare construed my message well enough because they didn't do it again...though I did save a very stinky look every time I saw them after that.

You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.

Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?

I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.

There is honestly a third answer which is: I would talk to the person who was 'harassing me' and see if I could work things out on my own.

BUT I understand this isn't an option for people from different cultures so I can respect that you weren't comfortable doing that.

It is an option - I am from a different culture too and nothing stops me from saying that to somebody, or asking him what he measn by that - just in case I misunderstood him....Running to a supervisor and making a mountain out of a molehill does not do you any favours....If you want to see harrassment and racism in everything, you will.....

Come now. We're ALL from different cultures and some people just aren't as aggressive and up front as others because they were taught NOT to be. A little understanding goes a long way. On ALL ends of this topic.

..

Bottom line, for whatever reason, people always feel free to comment on other people's EVERYTHING. Rest assured, it is about THEM, not you. They are projecting their own fears and guilt out there. When people "critique" my diet or lifestyle - or anything else - I just say, "interesting...."
[/quote]

^^^ ditto this ^^^

You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.

Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?

I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.

Except... he didn't attack your culture.

He made an innocent comment regarding your rice.

And if someone came up and started ridiculing my food.... I wouldn't have an emotion about it. Because IT'S FOOD. It is not my ethnic identity. It has no bearing on me as a person... because.... IT'S FOOD!

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".

She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?

There's a gray area between saying "this guy is making me uncomfortable" and saying he's "attacking" her. I very much doubt she intended to get him in trouble, just wanted it to stop. But of you want to dump on her some more feel free to grill her about it.

Also if we're splitting hairs I was under the impression that she talked to a supervisor about it, not that she filed an official HR complaint.

If you check you hr manual, usually the first step is the report to your immediate supervisor. Unless that person is the problem. Then you go to their supervisor. Then directly to hr. She followed the proper steps to get him canned. There's probably a notation in file. She followed every step.... except the one where she talks to him directly, like an adult.

I'm ... not sure why this would bother you so much? Why not just tell him it's how you like your rice instead of taking it to higher ups?

She did. And he persisted in being an *kitten*.

Actually, my husband was doing the same thing about my food, saying things like, "That doesn't even look appetizing." I finally told him to knock it off.

Lately it seems everyone is way too sensitive and pc about everything.
I'm not sure why the op felt like her culture/ ethnicity was attacked.
I also come from a different cultural background, and if someone made a comment about my food ( unless followed by an ethnic slur of some sort), the last thing I would think is that my culture is being attacked. That's just... Bizarre
I'm a vegetarian so I'm used to getting all kinda of comments about my food.
At work we have catered lunches, so everyone sees what everyone else is eating. If I had a penny for every time someone commented on me eating tofu ( ghost food apparently), I would be rolling in cash right about now lol.
Every time someone holds up a piece of meat, telling me to look at what I'm missing it doesn't bother me at all. I offer them a vegetable of some sort and joke about it.
I'm luckythough, now that I'm dieting, everyone at work is supportive and stops me from eating junk food, some offer to split a desert with me so that we both get a taste but not pig out.

I hope that the op doesn't lose any friends at work over this. Nothing worse than working in a hostile environment.

SHE DIDN"T. Someone else pointed out that that may have been a part of it and the OP jumped on it to make people more sympathetic to her pity party. Pity parties are for those that shall not succeed.

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".

She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?

There's a gray area between saying "this guy is making me uncomfortable" and saying he's "attacking" her. I very much doubt she intended to get him in trouble, just wanted it to stop. But of you want to dump on her some more feel free to grill her about it.

Also if we're splitting hairs I was under the impression that she talked to a supervisor about it, not that she filed an official HR complaint.

If you check you hr manual, usually the first step is the report to your immediate supervisor. Unless that person is the problem. Then you go to their supervisor. Then directly to hr. She followed the proper steps to get him canned. There's probably a notation in file. She followed every step.... except the one where she talks to him directly, like an adult.

I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree. Doesn't work that way in my organization.

Well in your reality, when someone complains to your direct supervisor about you, is that the sort of thing you like to happen? Or do you feel that you been reported to another store?

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".

She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?

There's a gray area between saying "this guy is making me uncomfortable" and saying he's "attacking" her. I very much doubt she intended to get him in trouble, just wanted it to stop. But of you want to dump on her some more feel free to grill her about it.

Also if we're splitting hairs I was under the impression that she talked to a supervisor about it, not that she filed an official HR complaint.

If you check you hr manual, usually the first step is the report to your immediate supervisor. Unless that person is the problem. Then you go to their supervisor. Then directly to hr. She followed the proper steps to get him canned. There's probably a notation in file. She followed every step.... except the one where she talks to him directly, like an adult.

I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree. Doesn't work that way in my organization.

Well in your reality, when someone complains to your direct supervisor about you, is that the sort of thing you like to happen? Or do you feel that you been reported to another store?

First of all, I don't understand your store reference, but don't bother explaining it. Second, what does that have to do with making a distinction between asking another supervisor to intervene on your behalf when someone above you in rank is behaving in an unwelcome manner toward you, vs. going straight to HR and filing an official complaint?

You seem to see this as a woman who you believe should have either been more "thick-skinned" about the situation or directly confronted a male who was higher in rank than her and basically told him to stop being a jerk, but instead "abused" a grievance protocol, as if she were some paranoid whack job who blows a rape whistle anytime someone smiles at her. And you seem to think her motive was to get him in trouble.

What I see is a woman who tried very politely (as she was raised to) to end repeated unwelcome intrusions on her privacy by a higher-ranking employee, but the situation got worse instead of better. She then went to a different supervisor in an attempt to make the intrusions stop--to get him to stop his behavior toward her, not to get him in trouble.

As has been said, her cultural background has some bearing both in how she perceived his behavior and in how she chose to deal with it, but that is incidental. I don't think she's nuts for feeling it might be a cultural slam, but I think his jerkdom was more generic than that, and particularly unbecoming of someone with rank. Where I work, everyone is required to attend periodic sensitivity training to avoid these kinds of situations. The training includes pointing out that what's normal for you isn't normal for everyone, and to learn to respect differences. Managers don't enjoy having to deal with these conflicts but that is part of their job, to defuse problems before they get serious.

When I was strictly veg, my supervisor used to be very nastily and vocally anti-vegetarian and even refused my requests to go or order from places for our departmental gatherings where we could order separate meals so I wouldn't have to pick around a bunch of meat pizzas or 8-foot meat subs. Some of my coworkers egged him on in this, others didn't like it but didn't speak up about it. Unfortunately I had nobody in a higher position to talk to about it without lodging a formal complaint with HR, so I put up with it. I wish I'd felt like there was someone I could go to about it without just getting crapped on further as a "troublemaker".

Anyway, you and I are done here.

From the way you described it, I think he was hitting on you and was too stupid to do it intelligently!!! Men really don't care about what their women co-workers eat! He likes you!!!!!