Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
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I just gave my fiancé a big hug, kissed her right on the mouth because I'm so glad she's not as self absorbed as youIn all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
great! im glad i could help! listen, ive got 5 kids under the age of 14, one with a serious medical condition that causes me alot of time at the dr and hospitals. im a full time college student, and active with my 4 daughters softball teams. i have no time for a whiney husband who wants to complain about the food i buy or cook. luckily, i dont have this problem, because in my house (and yes, this is my house, this is the house i grew up in, which is in mine and my mothers name ONLY) im in charge, i run it, i manage it, and he complies; he has found its easier that way. if it works for us, thats all that matters. he eats what i cook, and he doesnt complain. my response was in reaction to the op's husband acting like a *kitten*. so, you can thank your lucky stars that your not married to someone like me, but believe me, in my husbands eyes, with all i do, with all i have on my plate, and everything i go through with my children, he thanks his lucky stars that he has me i dont have time for any bull*** and he knws it, thats why i say, he wouldnt dare. its not about being self absorbed, its about appreciating that im doing whats best for this family (healthy food) with the time i have available.
..... I would guess your husband "thanks his lucky stars" because you TELL him he does.0 -
I compromise, my fiance gets whole milk, I buy my almond milk. He gets full fat dressing and I use healthier options. He gets regular ice cream and I make myself some frozen yogurt with whatever fresh/frozen fruit I have on hand. Just because I choose to eat a certain way, doesn't mean everyone else is obligated. Find a balance both of you can live with:)
I'll grill the chicken and he can add buffalo sauce if he wants, sometimes I'll add a little to mine. I make a salad out of the entree, he'll have a sandwich/wrap. I will add garlic cheese bread or potato for him, I have cottage cheese. Most of the time he wants what I want, healthy doesn't mean it can't taste good. If he doesn't like Mrs. Dash find other way to flavor the meat. I use a rub of pasted garlic, sea salt and a bit of pepper. I don't have a problem with sodium, but if I did there are lots of other spices to choose from:)0 -
So today I just join this site however in December I started to change the way I eat. More organic no fried or process food.
Well my husband seem so supportive please keep in mind he is 5'9 155 lbs very active so he eats any and everything. Me on the other hand is a different story I look at food it goes straight to my thighs and stomach. LOL. For the last two months he did not complain about the groceries nor what I cooked until tonight. He came home with buffalo chicken grande nachos. He offered me some I decline he kept saying come on try them their so good. Again I politely decline, I don't know what that triggered but he snapping saying he can't live like this anymore. He wants to drink whole milk instead of skim. He hates yogurt , he miss me cooking with salt, Mrs dash is disgusting. what he have to do to get some soda in here.This man was on a full rampage but the kicker is he threw all the food out then puts his debt card on the kitchen counter and said he wants "real" food here by time he gets home from work. I never been so pissed off in my life. He complains when I work out or mention anything about it. I just needed to vent. I refuse for this incident to discouraged me. little do he know I'm going repurchase my food he tossed out. *smiling* good night
I haven't read any of the replies - but he can go and do his own damn shopping if he wants "real" food. How disgustingly disrespectful - what happened to love and honour eh?0 -
oh fudge all that noise
Yup I'd let him cry about it all he wants...then I'd let him go get the food he wants too. Or at least tell him to act like a real man and join you grocery shopping. Then you both could pick out food for the week.
I have a feeling he's just insecure. He might be getting worried that as you start droping that weight you'll be even more beautiful other men will be checking you out.
So ignore he's little boy fits and keep taking care of your health. If he continues I'd send him and his nasty food packing 0 -
He complains when I work out or mention anything about it. I just needed to vent. I refuse for this incident to discouraged me. little do he know I'm going repurchase my food he tossed out. *smiling* good night
:mad: Unbelievable!!!! And you be sure to buy all of your healthy food back with HIS debit card and write "Thanks Honey" on the receipt! :laugh:0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
This for sure! I am responsible for all the meals in my house, therefore you eat what I cook or don't eat. SIMPLE! Don't like it? Get in the kitchen and start cooking or get out.0 -
This is dissappointing to hear. I would think that any man would want their woman healthy. In marriage we are supposed to support our spouse in their choices. So to sabbitage you and do something like that...not so nice. IDK what to tell you except, maybe you should suggest that he share the cooking responsibilities. If he doesnt like how you have been doing it then, maybe he can do it better. I live with 3 grown athletic sons all who eat a substancial about of calories each day, football, baseball and crew...and they are my biggest support. When I get stuck with they scale I go straight to them for advice. I would ask him if he wanted to talk about it. Dont ever lose yourself to a man. You have to love yourself and who you are to completely love another. So dont ignore this, let him know what he did was wrong and that you need his support. If he loves you he will be there for you. Best and never give up...you are too important.0
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Is there no way you can compromise with him?
You can cook with some salt and then let him salt his food more if he desires. Go to websites like skinnytaste.com to find healthier versions of the food he likes. And once or twice a week, cook a meal for him that he loves and you just eat a smaller portion of it, with a side salad to fill you up.
I'm thinking that you can make some healthy buffalo chicken nachos - that seems pretty easy actually. Buffalo sauce is low cal - cook some chicken breasts with buffalo sauce in the crockpot all day. When you get home at night, shred it and put it on some baked tortilla chips with whatever toppings he likes (cheese, peppers, etc) and pop it in the oven. Then throw some lettuce and tomatoes on top. Stir some ranch dressing mix into greek yogurt for a dip for the nachos. If you want to save calories, eat your chicken & toppings on lettuce instead of chips. That all sounds pretty healthy - and tasty - to me.
You're married, so you need to compromise with him. It's important to you to lose weight, but it's important to him to eat what he likes. Surely there's some middle ground.0 -
take that debit card and replace all the stuff he threw out.0
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An active, healthy guy plays along for months with your "health food" approach and he's finally had enough? No surprise there.
... if he was doing his share of the cooking, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds like she's doing all the cooking and shopping, so if he wants certain foods and she doesn't, maybe he should get off his hole and make it himself.
I do all the cooking/cleaning etc in our house. My husband works hard, he's in the military and he works crazy long shifts. When he gets home I try to have food that he's going to enjoy. He's trying to make weight right now, so he's trying to get healthy and count calories, but I can do that without totally changing all the things he enjoys. So yes, I have a traditional housewife role and I enjoy it. When I was working we split the housework 50/50. You can call it chauvinism if you want, but I call it taking care of each other.0 -
The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.
There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.
What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?
How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?
How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.
If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.0 -
My husband doen't need to lose weight and is active and I understand this I do the cooking and he likes gravy on everything so I just take my food out first and make gravy for the rest, We have healthy food in the house and also food he likes, so both of us are happy0
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It sounds to me like you've gone too far in the one direction with your eating habits. I know personally I've started eating better along with my wife, but that doesn't mean absolutely all non-healthy food is gone from the house. You need to strike a balance. One night you might have fish and salad for dinner, but you've got to offset that sometimes with some rewards. I've found the key for myself is just moderation. You can have the bad stuff, just make sure you offset it properly in a day. Have a terrible dinner, at least make an effort to take an after dinner walk. I can totally understand if your husband freaked out about it. Having him along for the journey will help, but you can't expect someone who doesn't need to lose weight to eat an entirely calorie restricted diet.0
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In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
While I don't 100% agree with the way your husband handled the situation, I'm gonna have to agree with the above statement. Even if you weren't trying to eat better, you'd always buy foods your husband likes that you don't necessarily care for, so what's the difference? It's not that big of a deal to make 2 separate meals in one night. I do it all the time, because I'm not a big meat eater, and my husband is, so I generally make separate entrees, or at least have to tweak them. I think you need to get off your pedestal a bit.0 -
The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.
There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.
What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?
How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?
How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.
If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.
^^^this0 -
I compromise, my fiance gets whole milk, I buy my almond milk. He gets full fat dressing and I use healthier options. He gets regular ice cream and I make myself some frozen yogurt with whatever fresh/frozen fruit I have on hand. Just because I choose to eat a certain way, doesn't mean everyone else is obligated. Find a balance both of you can live with:)
I'll grill the chicken and he can add buffalo sauce if he wants, sometimes I'll add a little to mine. I make a salad out of the entree, he'll have a sandwich/wrap. I will add garlic cheese bread or potato for him, I have cottage cheese. Most of the time he wants what I want, healthy doesn't mean it can't taste good. If he doesn't like Mrs. Dash find other way to flavor the meat. I use a rub of pasted garlic, sea salt and a bit of pepper. I don't have a problem with sodium, but if I did there are lots of other spices to choose from:)
This is exactly how we do it. I eat my salad with a homemade vinegarette, he has ranch dressing. I have learned how to say no to certain foods, he has learned to eat some healthier foods. It's give and take.0 -
the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"
i agree...sounds like an unsupportive douche0 -
If there is truly such a sudden turn around in his "support" there may be something else going on that has nothing to do with the healthier food choices.
As long as the OP is not pushing her needs on the husband he should be able to get extra items when he want to eat junk. Just cause he is not overweight it does not mean he is healthy, he could have cholesterol and BP problems.
OP could lighten up and have ice cream as well as yogurt, use some salt in cooking (helps with many body functions and improves overall flavor....salt is not a totally bad thing!)0 -
An active, healthy guy plays along for months with your "health food" approach and he's finally had enough? No surprise there.
... if he was doing his share of the cooking, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds like she's doing all the cooking and shopping, so if he wants certain foods and she doesn't, maybe he should get off his hole and make it himself.
He's working, she's not.
I don't understand why anyone would think this is acceptable behavior, even if she does not work outside the home. In fact it does not seem to even be on the same level here. Unemployed, stay at home mom, housewife, whatever, there is still no excuse for a grown man to act like that. What the HECK does that have to do with anything? Seriously? I DO agree with compromise, but if my husband threw a fit similar to that of my TWO year old, I'd be either frightened, enraged, or both. Grown men should act their age. Besides I didn't read everything, but did she SAY she "didn't work"?
ANYWAY, my husband is very much on board with my healthy lifestyle, but he still buys his chips. and some other "junk food". I just don't eat it. I eat my healthy food, and it's up to him whether or not he does. He was more into healthy eating than I was for the longest time, so we're good.0 -
He probably needs to get laid0
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Oh my... really, your husband needs to tone it down a notch, but you do too. Buying "healthy food" which isn't satisfying for him and his dietary needs is not fair. Neither is throwing out your food.
Eathing healthy does not mean you need to just buy diet food. It also means cooking from scratch instead of just buying cans or pre-made. It doesn't mean not using salt, it means significantly limiting it, but offering salt on the table for those that do need more. It means portion control, a smaller portion for the one trying to lose weight, and a larger portionfor the one who's active and tall.
I'm trying to lose weight myself, my husband has a crazy fast metabolism and will end up severely underfed if I would only let him eat lean foods. So when I make baked potatoes, he gets one twice the size of mine, and while all I use for dressing is a very small pat of butter, he gets butter and cheese and sour cream or whatever he wants. He gets the bigger pieces of meat and I take larger amounts of fresh vegetables (NOTHING comes froma can or jar). If you buy good quality fresh food you really don't need all that much salt or seasonings or sauces to get nice flavor. Get him some nice, full-fat condiments. buy good quality bread and have him add those to your otherwise lean meal. Or buy half a chicken and you eat the breast without skin and he gets the wings and thights and all that yummy-but-oh-so-fatty stuff.
There really are a LOT of ways in which you can combine a low and high caloric need in a household. The only question is if YOU can stop eating the less healthy options your husband needs. You're the one trying to lose weight, he obviously doesn't need to, so making sure you don't consume too much is 100% your responsibility.
and RE the people who said "I cook, everyone eats what I cook, I'm not a waitress". If yoú don't have a job outside the home and your spouse does and your children go to school, it's insanely lazy and selfish if you don't take your families dietary needs into consideration.0 -
I am not in the same situation, however, close enough that I empathize with you. My husband wants to eat what he wants to eat. So we eat separate meals in my house. I think it is easier because it is just us, I don't know what would happen if we had other mouths to feed. When I go grocery shopping I single portion meats out. For example, this morning I took out fish for me for dinner and a ribeye steak for him. While my fish broils his steak cooks and he can have whatever sides he wants. I love broccoli, so I will make enough for both of us and I dish myself a smaller portion of what he is having, like mac & cheese. I buy skim milk, but I also buy him the cereal he likes. So I guess my point is, let your spat blow over, go grocery shopping together and make meals you can both enjoy or swap out the main dish so both of you can have what you want, i.e. fish and steak. Also, on days I know I am going to chow down on pasta for dinner I make sure I get my exercise in so I don't go over my calories for the day and I watch my portions.
Good luck to you!0 -
It sounds like to me your husband is having an issue with you losing weight....He may be getting insecure with your confidence boosting? Your husband should be your number one supporter no matter what! I know how you feel my husband is thin and active to. If it was me I would clear one cabinet out and say this cabinet is all yours, here is the debit card now go buy the food you want. I would also inform him that if he doesn't like the things I choose to cook for dinner than he can cook for himself! The reality is that in the end of this journey when all your weight is lost you will have so much anger towards him for not being by your side during this journey, that it may not end well. Make sure he is aware that his actions in choosing to not be supportive could end very badly:( Another thing you may want to put a bug in his ear that "YOU WILL" have men crawling all over you at the end of your new begining!!!0
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And I don't think anyone has said that it is?I don't understand why anyone would think this is acceptable behavior,0 -
Throw him out0
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Reading this reminded me of when I was married. Every time I would workout or try to eat healthy, my ex husband would say the only reason I was doing it was to find another man. Had nothing to do with the fact that I was getting FATTER AND FATTER. No, that couldn't be it. It had to be another man.0
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Why doesn't he just buy the types of food he wanted? My Bo does. Also, I don't know you or your personality but why are you taking that kind of *kitten* from a man? To me, that is extremely selfish behavior on his part and he clearly needs professional help. Be prepared for this whole weight loss journey you are on to end well for your body but no so much your relationship. Happens a lot.0
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Ok, 1. your husband sounds like a controlling abusive a$$hat, and I'm sure you wil defend his abusive ways, people do that for some reason when they think they love somebody. 2. you shouldn't force him to eat what you are, he is a grown up, he should be able to eat what he wants. 3. go out with his debit card buy your stuff, and tell him if he wants something different, he can go out and buy it this time, and then the next time you go shopping you can just get the stuff you both want.
So why do you have to make him dinner everynight anyways? You sound more like his maid than his wife. Unless you don't work, and that is the deal you two have, then I think that is ok.0 -
And I don't think anyone has said that it is?I don't understand why anyone would think this is acceptable behavior,
Nope. Jerky behavior on his part and very pushy of her health food choices on her part.0 -
I hope you won't consider ending your marriage on the advice of some strangers on the internet. Do you have children? When they ask you why they don't have a father at home "He threw my food away" is not going to be a very satisfying answer.0
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