Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
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Thank You!! I totally agree with this!! I think if you are married, you need to work together as a "team" Not treat one or the other like a child. You should be able to have your healthy foods in the house as well as the food he likes even if it isn't healthy. He's a big boy, I think he should be able to eat what he wants.....just my opinionI also don't think it has to be all or nothing.
I buy 3 different types of milk at my house....I drink skim, the kids drink 2% and my husband drinks rice milk (he's lactose intolerant). I'm the only one who likes Greek yogurt, so I buy that for me and buy regular yogurt for the kids. There are plenty of things that I like to eat that nobody else in the house does. No big deal.
As for meals....I only cook one meal. My husband does understand and appreciate that I cook healthy 80% of the time. I'm not so strict about it that we can't have some 'fun' food sometimes. It's all about balance. Our dinners usually consist of a protein (meat), starch and veggie. When we eat balanced, healthy food 80-85% of the time, we don't think twice about having pizza or chinese take out here and there.0 -
So sad to read what happened. Much easier to do when both are on the same page. Hang in there. Thinking about it, I would say there is something else bothering him, as food is such a petty thing to flip out about. Dig deeper, try and figure it out, and if all else fails, as you dig you can push him into the hole and cover him up.....problem solved. Keep a smile.0
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Well Said!!!!My boyfriend and I live together and we don't share the same diet. We go grocery shopping together and he buys what he wants and I buy what I want. Sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him and we always ask each other what we'd like for lunch or dinner if the other one is cooking.
I agree that your husband overreacted and he handled it the wrong way but you can't expect him to follow in your steps if he doesn't want to (I'm NOT justifying what he did though).
It's all about COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE.
It takes two to make a relationship work, not one telling the other what to do.0 -
Well Said!!!!My boyfriend and I live together and we don't share the same diet. We go grocery shopping together and he buys what he wants and I buy what I want. Sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him and we always ask each other what we'd like for lunch or dinner if the other one is cooking.
I agree that your husband overreacted and he handled it the wrong way but you can't expect him to follow in your steps if he doesn't want to (I'm NOT justifying what he did though).
It's all about COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE.
It takes two to make a relationship work, not one telling the other what to do.
Agreed!
Too many on here are seeing this as a one sided issue. They don't like how he handled the situation. But yet feel okay with dictating their own household to their specifications. Teamwork and trying to help one another with their goals. The goals are not always the same and so no one should expect their spouse to follow their strategy. But respect it...yes!0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
I 100% agree ^^^
He doesn't have to change his eating habits. I would apologize to him for not asking him if it was ok to change his menu, then maybe he'll apologize to you for over reacting. You can't force someone to eat healthy, so I wouldn't try.
Good luck to you.0 -
Well Said!!!!My boyfriend and I live together and we don't share the same diet. We go grocery shopping together and he buys what he wants and I buy what I want. Sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him and we always ask each other what we'd like for lunch or dinner if the other one is cooking.
I agree that your husband overreacted and he handled it the wrong way but you can't expect him to follow in your steps if he doesn't want to (I'm NOT justifying what he did though).
It's all about COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE.
It takes two to make a relationship work, not one telling the other what to do.
Agreed!
Too many on here are seeing this as a one sided issue. They don't like how he handled the situation. But yet feel okay with dictating their own household to their specifications. Teamwork and trying to help one another with their goals. The goals are not always the same and so no one should expect their spouse to follow their strategy. But respect it...yes!
Yes, and people wonder why the divorce rate is so high................0 -
My boyfriend and I live together and we don't share the same diet. We go grocery shopping together and he buys what he wants and I buy what I want. Sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him and we always ask each other what we'd like for lunch or dinner if the other one is cooking.
I agree that your husband overreacted and he handled it the wrong way but you can't expect him to follow in your steps if he doesn't want to (I'm NOT justifying what he did though).
It's all about COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE.
It takes two to make a relationship work, not one telling the other what to do.
This.
My boyfriend and I do the same thing. And we also compromise with the food we cook for each other. For example, last night he made homemade spaghetti sauce and added ground up cauliflower to it. Not because he likes it (he really hates it, but you can't taste it much if it's disguised), but because I have a rule that there always has to be one vegetable with dinner.
I've found multiple ways to make vegetables appealing to him. I'll eat them plain, but he really doesn't like any vegetable in existence.
We've also compromised and he has replaced ground beef with ground turkey in everything.
There's also no reason why you can't make healthy, but TASTY food. I make baked turkey meatballs in a little bit of barbecue sauce, spaghetti with turkey, chicken breast in italian dressing, etc. All are tasty but still healthy.
You have to find a compromise and middle ground, otherwise blowups like that are going to happen, and frankly, I can't blame him for doing it (although throwing your food away was a little much).0 -
Yes, and people wonder why the divorce rate is so high................
QFT.
And for sadness.0 -
Hmm, I've of two minds with this. On one hand, I see no reason there can't be a few of the things he likes around such as the whole milk. There are things I enjoy (cucumbers, tomatoes) that my husband doesn't, and things he likes (mushrooms, nuts) that I don't, but I keep both on hand for snacks and such throughout the day. I guess I don't see it as having to be an either/or proposition. Why can't he have a few of those little things around? You aren't compelled to eat them.
Now, when it comes to meals, then yeah if he wants me to continue being the person who cooks breakfast and dinner everyday, then he will eat what I make. If he doesn't like it, then he can get in the damn kitchen and make his own meals. That being said, I know that he hates raw tomatoes and is very picky on the texture of the vegetables, and I try to take those things into consideration. I know this these things because he told me, and I'm not going to tell he is going to suddenly have to start eating these things and he's going to like it.
It sounds like there was a major breakdown in communication between you guys, and the only thing that will really fix the problem is sitting down and trying to come to some sort of compromise.
Now, in regards to the way he lashed out- completely ridiculous and childish. When my three-year-old acts like that, he gets a time out. That behaviour is unsavory in a child and downright pathetic in an adult.0 -
that's funny about slapping him and saying "i want a better man by the time i get back"... sorry he's being unsupportive. Maybe he just needed his fix and will be better now that he got it. all the best to you.0
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I buy all the food, do all the cooking. If my husband doesent like it he is welcome to buy and make his own food.
Good grief.......
Never mind. So not worth it....0 -
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Forcing your food on everyone else is a lot bit selfish...who cares if he brings junk in the house if he's not overweight and about to croak from one more cookie...sounds like to me you just need learn self discipline so you only eat what you should...i buy my fiance junk food and he eats snacks everyday, but when I go in the pantry I choose not to eat them bc I buy my own snacks or fruit...but guess what if I want a cookie from his pack I'mma eat it and it won't be the end of the world...smh...some of these quotes I'm reading make me wonder if or how some women even have a man...first step in being healthy and controlling your weight is controlling your mind...0 -
I do not see why a man with no weight issues has to starve because you are overweight.
Best observation on this thread.0 -
The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.
There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.
What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?
How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?
How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.
If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.
^This for sure. A lot of the other responses make me want to go home from work early today and give my wife a huge hug.
I do most of the shopping and cooking in our home and it's really not that big of a deal to plan meals around my own needs as well and my wife and children. When I'm cooking a vegetable I know the kids don't like I just have some other side dish for them that night. My wife doesn't like fish so if i want salmon then I'll just grill some chicken at the same time. When my little niece is visiting who only likes chicken nuggets three meals a day then I be sure we have a bag of chicken nuggets in the freezer. We have drinks and snacks everybody likes in the house- it's really not that complicated.0 -
Well Said!!!!My boyfriend and I live together and we don't share the same diet. We go grocery shopping together and he buys what he wants and I buy what I want. Sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him and we always ask each other what we'd like for lunch or dinner if the other one is cooking.
I agree that your husband overreacted and he handled it the wrong way but you can't expect him to follow in your steps if he doesn't want to (I'm NOT justifying what he did though).
It's all about COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE.
It takes two to make a relationship work, not one telling the other what to do.
This!0 -
Nothing a solid junkpunch wouldn't fix.
I think that can solve so many problems in the world! LOL! :laugh:
But back to the OP, from what you have told us, he definitely over-reacted. I can see his side a little and possibly a sit down to discuss a compromise to this would be the alternative solution to the junkpunch. Since you were turning down the nachos he was trying to force on you, it seems like will power isn't a problem so having some stuff in the house just for him should be easy. Try and create meals that are healthy and possibly add some extra side dishes for him if he really wants. And maybe he can cook every now and then which might help him see just how "bad" some of the stuff he wants really is.
Good luck!0 -
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Forcing your food on everyone else is a lot bit selfish...who cares if he brings junk in the house if he's not overweight and about to croak from one more cookie...sounds like to me you just need learn self discipline so you only eat what you should...i buy my fiance junk food and he eats snacks everyday, but when I go in the pantry I choose not to eat them bc I buy my own snacks or fruit...but guess what if I want a cookie from his pack I'mma eat it and it won't be the end of the world...smh...some of these quotes I'm reading make me wonder if or how some women even have a man...first step in being healthy and controlling your weight is controlling your mind...
ok, but my husband is over weight, and, due to my food changes in the house, his blood pressure has gone from 168/97 to 131/83 in a matter of 3 months. like i said, i dont have the same problem as the op, my husband wouldnt throw a fit like that, because he knows that i have our entire families best interest at heart. and if he did have a problem, i still wouldnt change, because im not going to contribute to his early death while i make myself healthy. thats it. thats how my family works, and it works for us.0 -
HIPPO:
I didn't read all the replies. But here are my thoughts. This is YOUR journey, you can't force him to be supportive. HOWEVER, he can't be an *kitten* about it either. My SO is 6'1, 155. He FULLY supports me and my new eating habits. If he wants to go to McDonalds, he is more than welcome, but he knows that I am not interested so he goes alone and doesnt wave it on front of my face. When I go to the store, I get my food, but I also get things that he likes and wants to eat. He is trying to gain weight. I dont mind picking up a gallon of whole milk in addition to my almond milk, and if he wants me to bake him cookies, I chew gum so I dont have the urge to "taste" while I'm cooking. Losing large quantities of weight is a lifestyle change and you can't force that on anyone else.
As far as him *****ing that you work out of *****ing that you even mention it... thats stupid. He should just be a man and suck it up and listen, unless that is all youre talking about, ever. I know when I first started working out I talked about it incessently becuse I was EXCITED and he was too. Now I talk about it less because it's a dead horse... we both know I'm working out, if I find a new workout I'm interested in trying he listens and that is that.0 -
AMEN to that!!! Good for you repurchasing your food again... At my house I'm a vegetarian and my husband is an omnivore. I only occasionally buy his animal products for recipes he wants to make. He likes to cook, but I ask him to keep it in moderation for weekends. I guess compromise a little? I won't eat his meat, but I'll have stuff made with cheese that he makes on weekends. Maybe try a compromise that works.the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"0 -
lol my husband is the same why.... im just waiting for the talk lol. dont get discouraged, hopefully he will say he is sorry soon...:flowerforyou:0
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lol my husband is the same why.... im just waiting for the talk lol. dont get discouraged, hopefully he will say he is sorry soon...:flowerforyou:
a 3 legged dog??? awe, so sweet. there is a dog that comes to choc and visits the sick kids, named seymour, who is also a 3 legged dog. he is a sweetheart!!! out of all the dogs that come through choc, seymour is my sons favorite! yours looks like a sweetheart!!!0 -
brings back memories of my family quite a few years ago, LOL, but my hubby said a long time ago when I was doing a CURVES challenge, "why do we gotta suffer cause of you?" any way there has to be a compromise somewhere.
hope you find a happy medium, some guys just don't get it! being healty for us girls takes some work!!!
Good Luck with your healthy self!!!0 -
Mutual respect. It seems to be gravely missing here. You should not force your husband to eat what you want to eat no more than you want him to force his nachos on you. You aren't working, would it really be that difficult to make him what he wants and make yourself what you want? I work 40 hours each week, go to the gym 3-4 times per week, do the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house etc. And I still manage to fix my husband what he likes for dinner and something for myself I can eat. It is not hard. You just have to make him a priority in addition to your health.0
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Ok, so first off I agree that the husband has reacted really badly here and throwing away food - very childish.... BUT, honestly, you can't expect to insist that your husband (or anyone else for that matter) has to eat the way that you eat simply because that's what you do. We all drink Semi skimmed milk ( think its 2% in US) but if we didn't I'd buy them their full milk and me what I want. My hubby hates low fat yogurt and natural yogurt, I love it, I buy both. He likes his Coke, I would rather not - I don't stop him drinking what he wants - he's a big boy, he can make his own decisions. We have white bread and wholegrain bread - I encourage the children to make the healthier choice and discuss what that might be, but they are my CHILDREN, my husband is my partner and equal. I tend to cook the meals, I cook healthy, but if hubby cooks and its not so much then what the hell, he's done something for us and I won't insult him by refusing it - but he knows I prefer not to eat cr*p and respects that. He has chocolate - he always offers me a square, I let him have what he wants. I'm no waitress, but at the same time a marriage is about compromise, respect and ultimately love - I ask him to support me, but don't force my choices on him - that way he doesn't get frustrated with me.
OP needs to sit down and have a long chat with her husband and get stuff straight. She also needs to consider if what she is doing is fair - he should not have behaved like that, end of, totally out of order, but at the same time if he wants his soda and his salt and anything else that is HIS choice and that should be respected and they should find a way to work this out so that she has her healthy food, and he has his extras and meet in the middle with both getting what they need.0 -
So today I just join this site however in December I started to change the way I eat. More organic no fried or process food.
Well my husband seem so supportive please keep in mind he is 5'9 155 lbs very active so he eats any and everything. Me on the other hand is a different story I look at food it goes straight to my thighs and stomach. LOL. For the last two months he did not complain about the groceries nor what I cooked until tonight. He came home with buffalo chicken grande nachos. He offered me some I decline he kept saying come on try them their so good. Again I politely decline, I don't know what that triggered but he snapping saying he can't live like this anymore. He wants to drink whole milk instead of skim. He hates yogurt , he miss me cooking with salt, Mrs dash is disgusting. what he have to do to get some soda in here.This man was on a full rampage but the kicker is he threw all the food out then puts his debt card on the kitchen counter and said he wants "real" food here by time he gets home from work. I never been so pissed off in my life. He complains when I work out or mention anything about it. I just needed to vent. I refuse for this incident to discouraged me. little do he know I'm going repurchase my food he tossed out. *smiling* good night
take his debit card buy him his "real" crap replace your real food and buy yourself something shiny and new with his debit card. LOL!!!!! valentine's is next week and there's nothing wrong with buying yourself a little trinket or two.
okay back to reality. if he wants to eat all that crap then let him. is it a problem for you to have soda and salt and nachos in the house? some people just don't have the willpower to fight off not eating all that junk. there's nothing wrong with cooking with salt (a little goes a LONG way). try adding different spices to your cooking instead of mrs dash. if it's spicy and flavorful he won't miss the salt which you can cut in half and still have most foods taste good. i have yogurt in the fridge and hubby won't eat it and that's just fine (it's for ME anyway). i buy low fat string cheese for me and i just found out he started eating it as well (never brought it up never gave it to him and said eat this).
it could just be that he feels forced to change his eating habits when he didn't ask to change his eating habits and that's why he snapped. it's one thing for you to change/go cold turkey but it's another thing when its innocently pushed on you when you didn't ask. once you bring back his crappy food i bet he'll be fine AND once he starts to notice a difference in you he'll be FINE with you exercising.
now go buy the man his bottle of soda and buy yourself some bling. LOL a win win for both0 -
Tell him to get off his *kitten* and make his own damn food if he doesn't like it.0
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After reading this thread, I am so glad I am married to the man I am married to. He has done almost all of the cooking for the last 8-9 years because he's disabled and home during the day. A few years back, I had started watching what I was eating and would give him, upon his request, recipes for healthy meals. I found that he was sneaking extra butter, cheese and salt into the recipes. I told him that I would cook my own meals from that point on since I wanted my food prepared in a certain manner. He decided that he would rather cook for me and started following the recipes.
I would have never told him that he had to cook the food my way or else. It was something that was important to me, so I was willing to take the steps to make my own meals. Lucky for me, he likes to cook for me and was willing to change.
We share a home as a married couple. It's not my house or his house, it's our house. It's not my way or his way, it's our way. That's how a partnership should work.0 -
The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.
There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.
What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?
How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?
How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.
If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.
^^^^^^This X 100! Great post!0 -
It's probably time to act like adults. There's a serious lack of communication. You can't expect there not to be any "real" food for your husband in the house even if it is junk food. What happens if/when you guys have kids? However, he shouldn't have turned into something that sounds like my five year old. "FINE! Take away all my toys!"
Why don't you ask him to help you transition for the first month or so to allow you to focus on learning new habits without temptation then have separate areas in the pantry/fridge as others have suggested. But also, he's obviously picking up fast food so it's not like he's not getting ANY junk that he likes, just not at home. I'm sure he can deal with eating junk outside of the house for a few more weeks.
I don't think an isolated incident is divorce worthy otherwise you might as well never get married. Everyone gets unreasonably upset over "small" stuff now and again. The OP will someday as well and I'd hope her husband would be able to handle it maturely as I hope she will in this case.0 -
It's not about the food. It's about control, and he is feeling like he has lost it with you.
I agree with those who say you can compromise. We have two kinds of milk in my house. I also eat smaller portions of pizza, etc. at least once a week. And hey, I'm from Buffalo, so I eat wings too LOL! But overall, the junk food is for my husband. I don't touch it. He can have what he wants. But my journey is different.
It's time to talk about what's really bugging him.0
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