Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
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Mutual respect. It seems to be gravely missing here. You should not force your husband to eat what you want to eat no more than you want him to force his nachos on you. You aren't working, would it really be that difficult to make him what he wants and make yourself what you want? I work 40 hours each week, go to the gym 3-4 times per week, do the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house etc. And I still manage to fix my husband what he likes for dinner and something for myself I can eat. It is not hard. You just have to make him a priority in addition to your health.
Hang on - she cooked diner for him, nobody made him eat it. If it is too 'healthy' or there isn't enough he could always eat more of it.
The fact is that she has bothered to cook a meal and he, even though he knew this brought some takeaway in the house instead. Cooking two separate meals is so much more expensive than cooking for one. Even if the OP stayed at home and didn't go to a job (which it seems she doesn't, she has a job too) - she has an 'unpaid' job as housewife, which is just as hard as going out to work.
Even if he hadn't flipped out it an angry way, it seems he lacks both grace and any semblance of manners.
If someone cooks a homecooked meal for you, which by that fact alone will be far nicer than any takeway, you should eat it, finish your plate smile, say thankyou and if you are still hungry, see if there is any second helpings - if not have a bit of bread and butter to put you on.
Its basic good manners.0 -
I'm sorry, but that post made me laugh. That has been my TEENAGERS. They hate health food. They say I'm crabby (which, yeah, I probably am), blah blah blah.
As long as he's paying for it, buy for you and buy for him.0 -
Man that's awful! It would have scared the heck out of me for my husband to flip out like that. It seems to me that something much more is bothering him. .
This.0 -
I'm sorry, but that post made me laugh. That has been my TEENAGERS. They hate health food. They say I'm crabby (which, yeah, I probably am), blah blah blah.
As long as he's paying for it, but for you and buy for him.
Well at least you can say "either you eat it or you go to be hungry" to them - they dont earn a wage, they dont get a choice.0 -
I know exactly how you feel, I enjoy "healthy food" and have always been eager to incorporate new ideas and recipes into my menu. My husband is generally a great supporter of the cause but sometimes he does get a little frustrated with all the healthy stuff. So what I do is compromise a little. I will have a splurge day with him. That way he gets his food fix and everyone is happy.
Keep up the good work and do not be discouraged by your husband's cravings for bad stuff. He will appreciate it later down the road.0 -
This journey is much easier when everybody in the family is on the same page. I agree, it was over the top for him to approach this the way he did .. throwing that stuff out made no sense... At the same time, as one other person said, the best way to deal with this (as in any relationship) is COMPROMISE... This compromise, however, should not be one sided... There is no reason you cannot have 2% milk AND whole milk in the fridge... Just because you have yogurt should not mean that YOU have to eat it... He should not force anything down your throat that YOU don't want.. and by the same token, making things available that HE enjoys would be an acceptable compromise. In most cases, what is wrong is not the food choices though... Usually when things show up like this, it only reveals relationship problems that are already there.. the food is not the problem... However, getting to what the REAL problem is, will be necessary for your relationship to flourish.
^^THIS... at least in theory. The real world is often stranger than fiction. I only read the 1st page of posts, but I didn't see any indication that she discussed these changes with him beforehand; rather, it seems like she (gradually) forced these changes upon him. Es no bueno and I doubt she would've liked him doing similar to her. Hopefully, they can come together and discuss it like ADULTS and focus on 'where to go from here' rather than being stuck in 'what happened then'.
Good luck, OP!0 -
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Forcing your food on everyone else is a lot bit selfish...who cares if he brings junk in the house if he's not overweight and about to croak from one more cookie...sounds like to me you just need learn self discipline so you only eat what you should...i buy my fiance junk food and he eats snacks everyday, but when I go in the pantry I choose not to eat them bc I buy my own snacks or fruit...but guess what if I want a cookie from his pack I'mma eat it and it won't be the end of the world...smh...some of these quotes I'm reading make me wonder if or how some women even have a man...first step in being healthy and controlling your weight is controlling your mind...
ok, but my husband is over weight, and, due to my food changes in the house, his blood pressure has gone from 168/97 to 131/83 in a matter of 3 months. like i said, i dont have the same problem as the op, my husband wouldnt throw a fit like that, because he knows that i have our entire families best interest at heart. and if he did have a problem, i still wouldnt change, because im not going to contribute to his early death while i make myself healthy. thats it. thats how my family works, and it works for us.
You treat your husband like a child. He is a grown man with the free will to make his own choices, healthy or not.
What you are doing is demeaning and disrespectful to the head of your household.
Women wonder why men cheat on them............ because of things like this!!0 -
:blushing: I got trampled by all the soon-to-be-divorced-women who think it's their way or the highway!In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
Why helllllllloooo, Voice of Reason, where have you been all of my life?
If my husband were to yell at me because he doesn't like what I cook (and then did not immediately proceed to apologize) then I'd gladly be divorced. Yelling at the person you supposedly love is NOT COOL.
Really, if this guy was so unhappy over it, why didn't he bring it up earlier? Why did he do something so childish as to throw all the food away? He could have gotten what he wanted without trying to upset the OP, just by bringing it up and saying what he needed. Or heck, even DO HIS OWN GROCERY SHOPPING! It's not like men have their hands painted on.
At my house, I'm lowering my calorie intake and the hubs is doing Atkins. I do the grocery shopping, then we each prepare our own meals. He actually used to do 75% of the cooking, so it's more work for me in the long run. I don't yell at him, though; why would I? I love the guy.0 -
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Forcing your food on everyone else is a lot bit selfish...who cares if he brings junk in the house if he's not overweight and about to croak from one more cookie...sounds like to me you just need learn self discipline so you only eat what you should...i buy my fiance junk food and he eats snacks everyday, but when I go in the pantry I choose not to eat them bc I buy my own snacks or fruit...but guess what if I want a cookie from his pack I'mma eat it and it won't be the end of the world...smh...some of these quotes I'm reading make me wonder if or how some women even have a man...first step in being healthy and controlling your weight is controlling your mind...
ok, but my husband is over weight, and, due to my food changes in the house, his blood pressure has gone from 168/97 to 131/83 in a matter of 3 months. like i said, i dont have the same problem as the op, my husband wouldnt throw a fit like that, because he knows that i have our entire families best interest at heart. and if he did have a problem, i still wouldnt change, because im not going to contribute to his early death while i make myself healthy. thats it. thats how my family works, and it works for us.
You treat your husband like a child. He is a grown man with the free will to make his own choices, healthy or not.
What you are doing is demeaning and disrespectful to the head of your household.
Women wonder why men cheat on them............ because of things like this!!
i am the head of my household. different families, different dynamics. and, ok, if me only buying good healthy food for me and my husband is disrespectful, so be it. he'll live. but so far, hes not complaining, so i dont know why you are.
byw, free will doesnt give someone the green light to do anything they want. we have 5 children in this home that need to have 2 healthy parents, and a good foundation for healthy eating habits. he has all day that he can jump from fast food drive through to donut shop, but at home, in this house, this is the way it is.0 -
He sounds like an *kitten*. Good luck with that.
PS. Learn to spell.
Thanks.0 -
^^THIS... at least in theory. The real world is often stranger than fiction. I only read the 1st page of posts, but I didn't see any indication that she discussed these changes with him beforehand; rather, it seems like she (gradually) forced these changes upon him. Es no bueno and I doubt she would've liked him doing similar to her. Hopefully, they can come together and discuss it like ADULTS and focus on 'where to go from here' rather than being stuck in 'what happened then'.
Good luck, OP!
Sureley since she cooked dinner for him its very 'bueno'. Not only should he have eaten it, he should have thanked her for it.0 -
Mutual respect. It seems to be gravely missing here. You should not force your husband to eat what you want to eat no more than you want him to force his nachos on you. You aren't working, would it really be that difficult to make him what he wants and make yourself what you want? I work 40 hours each week, go to the gym 3-4 times per week, do the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house etc. And I still manage to fix my husband what he likes for dinner and something for myself I can eat. It is not hard. You just have to make him a priority in addition to your health.
Hang on - she cooked diner for him, nobody made him eat it. If it is too 'healthy' or there isn't enough he could always eat more of it.
The fact is that she has bothered to cook a meal and he, even though he knew this brought some takeaway in the house instead. Cooking two separate meals is so much more expensive than cooking for one. Even if the OP stayed at home and didn't go to a job (which it seems she doesn't, she has a job too) - she has an 'unpaid' job as housewife, which is just as hard as going out to work.
Even if he hadn't flipped out it an angry way, it seems he lacks both grace and any semblance of manners.
If someone cooks a homecooked meal for you, which by that fact alone will be far nicer than any takeway, you should eat it, finish your plate smile, say thankyou and if you are still hungry, see if there is any second helpings - if not have a bit of bread and butter to put you on.
Its basic good manners.
Yes and it would be basic good manners for her to love her husband enough to fix him the foods he enjoys too. I don't think the hubs would have been so upset if she were fixing him the things he enjoys let's say 3 nights out of 7. I bet that would be a compromise he could live with. They obviously have different caloric needs with his activity level vs. hers. Give the man some whole milk and foods he enjoys that fill him up. And again, if money is an issue and it is not affordable to make two meals, make a healthy meal some nights and meals he enjoys some nights. It really is not difficult. There is no reason they can't both have what they want, through mutual compromise, and have a strong relationship. Give and take.0 -
You treat your husband like a child. He is a grown man with the free will to make his own choices, healthy or not.
What you are doing is demeaning and disrespectful to the head of your household.
Women wonder why men cheat on them............ because of things like this!!
Now I know you are a wind up merchant - no way this post could have even been semi-serious.0 -
Let him by his own food. I suppose I could understand, he just didn't like all the changes you made, but he doesn't sounds very supportive.
So let him support himself and your support yourself (at least when it comes to food) Let him buy his own, you cook for others and you that want/need it.0 -
What a dillwad!
If he wants to eat poorly then he can cook his own meals and buy his own food. You just keep doing what you need to do to lose weight and stay healthy! This isn't about him and he needs to learn being supportive means perpetuating your healthy lifestyle not killing it dead in its tracks.
Good luck dear!0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
^ I agree with this.
It just won't do anything for their marriage for her to say, "Screw you, go to the store for your own garbage food." She still has to live with him. I don't understand how people are so quick to suggest telling their spouse to shove it...
Just because your husband doesnt eat what you eat doesnt mean you throw him out of the house,life is much bigger than that.
My husband is a vegetarian,however i gain bodyfat if im a vegetarian-i make him vegetarian meals and i enjoy them too-i make my chicken or fish on the side and have that.its not all or nothing-food can be delicious and healthy.0 -
Compromise, food for each of you. It's all very well people saying kick him out, and his behaviour wasn't good, but hey? Haven't we all been out of order some times? Tell him your upset, stay with the diet, but he may want to stick with the other food he is more comfortable with. My husband isn't dieting with me. Your hubby may be insecure, or perhaps fed up with hearing about diets? Use us to support you, good luck and sorry to hear about your day xxx0
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This may be blunt and slightly harsh... but from the sounds of it : your hubby is a wasteful, unsupportive d-bag.
I would tell him if he wants junk food to get off his *kitten* and get himself. He can make his own meals and you will make your own.
Problem solved. If he continues to be a jerk about it... I'd seriously consider kicking him to the curb.0 -
sabotage! pure and simple. He knows your serious about your health he may be worried about your weight loss. Wondering if your going to replace him (after that one may consider it) Reality is you need to have a sit down with him! Best of luck and KEEP ON KEEPING ON!0
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Mutual respect. It seems to be gravely missing here. You should not force your husband to eat what you want to eat no more than you want him to force his nachos on you. You aren't working, would it really be that difficult to make him what he wants and make yourself what you want? I work 40 hours each week, go to the gym 3-4 times per week, do the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house etc. And I still manage to fix my husband what he likes for dinner and something for myself I can eat. It is not hard. You just have to make him a priority in addition to your health.
Hang on - she cooked diner for him, nobody made him eat it. If it is too 'healthy' or there isn't enough he could always eat more of it.
The fact is that she has bothered to cook a meal and he, even though he knew this brought some takeaway in the house instead. Cooking two separate meals is so much more expensive than cooking for one. Even if the OP stayed at home and didn't go to a job (which it seems she doesn't, she has a job too) - she has an 'unpaid' job as housewife, which is just as hard as going out to work.
Even if he hadn't flipped out it an angry way, it seems he lacks both grace and any semblance of manners.
If someone cooks a homecooked meal for you, which by that fact alone will be far nicer than any takeway, you should eat it, finish your plate smile, say thankyou and if you are still hungry, see if there is any second helpings - if not have a bit of bread and butter to put you on.
Its basic good manners.
This is a good point because sometimes if my meal that I make and modify for hubby with bigger portions or more fat, butter spread, olive oil, etc. still comes out too healthy, boring, or unsatisfying for him. He gets the soy sauce, chili's, salt, butter, mayonnaise or anything else that will make it taste better. He is always grateful that I cooked and especially when he realizes I'm eatign way less or just omitting the bad parts. I don't think it's that hard really? I don't really get how people end up down this road as the OP with just a totally pissed off spouse on their hands. It seems like a form of non-communication that just goes stifled and unaddressed until one day...:mad: :explode: :brokenheart: :sad: Kablam!0
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