Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH

Mutual respect. It seems to be gravely missing here. You should not force your husband to eat what you want to eat no more than you want him to force his nachos on you. You aren't working, would it really be that difficult to make him what he wants and make yourself what you want? I work 40 hours each week, go to the gym 3-4 times per week, do the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house etc. And I still manage to fix my husband what he likes for dinner and something for myself I can eat. It is not hard. You just have to make him a priority in addition to your health.

Hang on - she cooked diner for him, nobody made him eat it. If it is too 'healthy' or there isn't enough he could always eat more of it.

The fact is that she has bothered to cook a meal and he, even though he knew this brought some takeaway in the house instead. Cooking two separate meals is so much more expensive than cooking for one. Even if the OP stayed at home and didn't go to a job (which it seems she doesn't, she has a job too) - she has an 'unpaid' job as housewife, which is just as hard as going out to work.

Even if he hadn't flipped out it an angry way, it seems he lacks both grace and any semblance of manners.

If someone cooks a homecooked meal for you, which by that fact alone will be far nicer than any takeway, you should eat it, finish your plate smile, say thankyou and if you are still hungry, see if there is any second helpings - if not have a bit of bread and butter to put you on.

Its basic good manners.

Yes and it would be basic good manners for her to love her husband enough to fix him the foods he enjoys too. I don't think the hubs would have been so upset if she were fixing him the things he enjoys let's say 3 nights out of 7. I bet that would be a compromise he could live with. They obviously have different caloric needs with his activity level vs. hers. Give the man some whole milk and foods he enjoys that fill him up. And again, if money is an issue and it is not affordable to make two meals, make a healthy meal some nights and meals he enjoys some nights. It really is not difficult. There is no reason they can't both have what they want, through mutual compromise, and have a strong relationship. Give and take.

Let him by his own food. I suppose I could understand, he just didn't like all the changes you made, but he doesn't sounds very supportive.
So let him support himself and your support yourself (at least when it comes to food) Let him buy his own, you cook for others and you that want/need it.

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

^ I agree with this.

It just won't do anything for their marriage for her to say, "Screw you, go to the store for your own garbage food." She still has to live with him. I don't understand how people are so quick to suggest telling their spouse to shove it...

Just because your husband doesnt eat what you eat doesnt mean you throw him out of the house,life is much bigger than that.
My husband is a vegetarian,however i gain bodyfat if im a vegetarian-i make him vegetarian meals and i enjoy them too-i make my chicken or fish on the side and have that.its not all or nothing-food can be delicious and healthy.

This may be blunt and slightly harsh... but from the sounds of it : your hubby is a wasteful, unsupportive d-bag.

I would tell him if he wants junk food to get off his *kitten* and get himself. He can make his own meals and you will make your own.

Problem solved. If he continues to be a jerk about it... I'd seriously consider kicking him to the curb.

Mutual respect. It seems to be gravely missing here. You should not force your husband to eat what you want to eat no more than you want him to force his nachos on you. You aren't working, would it really be that difficult to make him what he wants and make yourself what you want? I work 40 hours each week, go to the gym 3-4 times per week, do the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house etc. And I still manage to fix my husband what he likes for dinner and something for myself I can eat. It is not hard. You just have to make him a priority in addition to your health.

Hang on - she cooked diner for him, nobody made him eat it. If it is too 'healthy' or there isn't enough he could always eat more of it.

The fact is that she has bothered to cook a meal and he, even though he knew this brought some takeaway in the house instead. Cooking two separate meals is so much more expensive than cooking for one. Even if the OP stayed at home and didn't go to a job (which it seems she doesn't, she has a job too) - she has an 'unpaid' job as housewife, which is just as hard as going out to work.

Even if he hadn't flipped out it an angry way, it seems he lacks both grace and any semblance of manners.

If someone cooks a homecooked meal for you, which by that fact alone will be far nicer than any takeway, you should eat it, finish your plate smile, say thankyou and if you are still hungry, see if there is any second helpings - if not have a bit of bread and butter to put you on.

Its basic good manners.

This is a good point because sometimes if my meal that I make and modify for hubby with bigger portions or more fat, butter spread, olive oil, etc. still comes out too healthy, boring, or unsatisfying for him. He gets the soy sauce, chili's, salt, butter, mayonnaise or anything else that will make it taste better. He is always grateful that I cooked and especially when he realizes I'm eatign way less or just omitting the bad parts. I don't think it's that hard really? I don't really get how people end up down this road as the OP with just a totally pissed off spouse on their hands. It seems like a form of non-communication that just goes stifled and unaddressed until one day...:mad: :explode: :brokenheart: :sad: Kablam!

Yes and it would be basic good manners for her to love her husband enough to fix him the foods he enjoys too. I don't think the hubs would have been so upset if she were fixing him the things he enjoys let's say 3 nights out of 7. I bet that would be a compromise he could live with. They obviously have different caloric needs with his activity level vs. hers. Give the man some whole milk and foods he enjoys that fill him up. And again, if money is an issue and it is not affordable to make two meals, make a healthy meal some nights and meals he enjoys some nights. It really is not difficult. There is no reason they can't both have what they want, through mutual compromise, and have a strong relationship. Give and take.

Not really - if he cooks, he can cook what he likes. Unless the food is inedible, theres no reason not to eat it. Like I said, if he needs more calories, he could always have seconds or eat some bread after.

The give and take is that she has given her time and effort to cook dinner. The least he could do is say thankyou.

We do have separate milks in our house, but if we didn't, I wouldnt think about moaning - its only milk.

Having said all this, I am a very 'generalist' eater and like almost anything.

Let him do his own grocery shopping. Give him his own cabinet and fridge space. Tell him to cook his own meals. And while your at it, tell him to do his own cleaning too. You do what makes you feel good and if cant support you then throw him out with the junk food!

Yup!

The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.

There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.

What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?

How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?

How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.

If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.

^^^^^^This X 100! Great post!

It bears repeating.

First I would address is aggression (i.e throwing out someone else's stuff and making a demand) THAT IS NOT PARTNERSHIP. True, your food choices may not be his AND both can be made to co-exist in the same home. Yet, I would not make my compromising move until his aggression thing is laid out AND he recognizes co-existence.

Having someone who supposedly loves you be so wantonly destructive would be a HUGE problem for me. Possibly a divorce sized problem, assuming I couldn't resolve the issue with the guy. I'm not saying you should be immediately rushing out the door, but there's some serious conversation that should happen.

My husband, while proposing me the possibility of a (much desired by me) teaching job next fall, was worried about whether it wouldn't sabotage my new workout schedule. Not excited about more money, but worried I might not have as much time for the gym. THAT is love.

I'd tell him he can buy and cook his own food if he has such an issue with what you're eating. Neither of you should be forcing your food habits on the other.

I think compromise is necessary here - even though how he acted was very childish. Throwing out food is a terrible waste. However, you can have two sorts of milk in the fridge. Perhaps you could prepare one large meal for him and freeze portions of it? So that he can eat his "manly food" whilst you eat your far tastier health food, without you having to put in too much extra effort. Unless you've got zilch willpower, it should be okay for him to have sugary pop-soda in the pantry and bags of chips in the cupboard.

My husband is mostly fine with me forcing healthy food upon him (he hasn't even complained when I stopped cooking meat, although when it's his turn to cook, it's meaty) and I think the key to a stable relationship is respecting each other's decisions. My husband also buys his lunch every day, which means he can eat whatever sort of junk he likes without me having to look or smell it. This is not great on the budget, but since he earns more than me, it's his right (we have neither children nor a mortgage, if we had either, things might be different there).

Either that, or perhaps you could encourage him to cook one night of the week? Besides, "Manly" foods and healthy foods are not mutually exclusive - just make sure that you cut down on the fats and add extra flavouring and he may not even notice. If you make something like nachos - you can give him the majority of the corn chips and cheese, after all.

Although, tbh, I think there might be something more going on here than just a food-related temper tantrum. You folks need to sit down and talk about things in a sensible and reasonable manner. Perhaps he doesn't want you losing too much weight? Maybe it makes him feel threatened that you will be becoming more slender and he is afraid he might lose you to another man? The fact he was trying to force his food into you suggests that.

Good luck!

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

Wow. Well, if he wants to eat what he wants, fine. But it isn't your job to buy crap, cook crap, then have to try to get healthy for yourself. If he wants, he can pick up some fast food on the way home and eat it in his car. Or, you can cook something healthy & he can help out in the kitchen and cook whatever he wants.

My boyfriend and I live together and I will try to cook him things that taste good but make easy modifications so I can eat it. But nachos? Really?

Your husband is either abusive or really immature. It sounds like something 5 year old kid would do!