Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH

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Replies

  • bethfartman
    bethfartman Posts: 363 Member
    You husband sounds like a jerk. My SO doesn't like alot of the food I eat, so I buy him stuff that I don't like but I know he does (I hate Dr. Pepper and rootbeer, so that's the only soda I buy for him, I hate oreo's, so I buy those for him too, etc.)
  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
    your hub was a jerk.
    That being said: there are ways to compromise.
    Keep two milks around - no biggie.
    Have his junk and your food.
    When you cook dinners, use a lot of herbs and spices - makes it tasty, and he won't realize it's healthy.
    And figure out ways you can incorporate his stuff into your meals without throwing you off kilter.
    PORTION things! Keep a measuring cup around, and know serving sizes.

    Most important: USE THIS WEBSITE.
    Track your food every day, so you know what you eat.
    Even if you might not eat something that you consider healthy, if you're below your calorie total for the day, you're ahead of the game.
    The key is, you are doing this for YOU, not to show off for him.
  • choosingsara
    choosingsara Posts: 98 Member
    Why did he leave you his debit card?? Do you not have one?

    If you have separate accounts I'd take his card and go shopping and not to a grocery store! :-)
  • 19kat55
    19kat55 Posts: 336 Member

    Yes and it would be basic good manners for her to love her husband enough to fix him the foods he enjoys too. I don't think the hubs would have been so upset if she were fixing him the things he enjoys let's say 3 nights out of 7. I bet that would be a compromise he could live with. They obviously have different caloric needs with his activity level vs. hers. Give the man some whole milk and foods he enjoys that fill him up. And again, if money is an issue and it is not affordable to make two meals, make a healthy meal some nights and meals he enjoys some nights. It really is not difficult. There is no reason they can't both have what they want, through mutual compromise, and have a strong relationship. Give and take.

    Not really - if he cooks, he can cook what he likes. Unless the food is inedible, theres no reason not to eat it. Like I said, if he needs more calories, he could always have seconds or eat some bread after.

    The give and take is that she has given her time and effort to cook dinner. The least he could do is say thankyou.

    We do have separate milks in our house, but if we didn't, I wouldnt think about moaning - its only milk.

    Having said all this, I am a very 'generalist' eater and like almost anything.



    I truly "get" what you are saying. I just have a different perspective on where I see the problem here. Where you appear to think he should just "eat it and shut up and be grateful" I am of the opinion out of love for him she should make sure she fixes him the things he enjoys to eat, at least some of the time. I love my hubs to death and if he wants to eat something I prefer not to eat, I will fix it for him. And he knows that and is very appreciative about it. He never complains about what I fix. Most nights it will be healthy food we can both eat and enjoy. But those times he wants something different, I am more than happy to do it for him. Because I love him. And we've been married for 27 blissful years. So I've learned a few things about compromise and how to make a relationship work.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)


    I cook the main meal which we all have, I just weigh/measure mine so I'm having smaller portions, no complaints in this house & feeding to adult men and myself :wink:

    yes, no complaints in my house either. all 5 of my kids and my husband are fine with the healthy changes i have implemented since september. my original response was IF MY HUSBAND ACTED AS HERS DID... lol, and then, all of the sudden, i was an evil disrespectful and abusive wife for FORCING MY FAMILY TO EAT HEALTHY... hhhmmmmmmm ok, ill take it! lol
  • Shadowknight137
    Shadowknight137 Posts: 1,243 Member
    WOW that was a harsh reaction. I am thinking he secretly doesnt want you to lose weight. You lose weight, you become more attractive to other men (which personally I find ridiculous) and he fears you will leave him.

    Okay. That's both unfair and nonsensical in this case.

    The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
    Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.

    I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.

    I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
    I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.
  • Athena125
    Athena125 Posts: 102 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.


    This is wise advice. I still buy stuff my boyfriend will want to eat because he needs to GAIN weight! I keep the unhealthy treats in a drawer so I don't see them and I buy stuff for him to keep in his car so I won't eat it! Even if I didn't though, I think he would just pick up his own choices on the way home from work at the grocery store. I mean, my boyfriend can drive a car and is a grown man. I would never ONLY buy my weird healthy food because no human being should be forced to eat that stuff if they can avoid it...however, if it's a tempting food for me, I ask him to hide it away from me. I always buy rice milk and regular milk for him, egg whites for me, regular eggs for him, etc.

    This post really confuses me because it sounds like you don't buy him anything he would want, and yet, why can't he stop off at the store to get what he wants by himself? It makes no sense. I think you both need to compromise a little bit. Also, there's no excuse for him throwing a tantrum. That's just ridiculous.
  • links_slayer
    links_slayer Posts: 1,151 Member
    Your man sounds like quite the catch.....
  • Brianna716
    Brianna716 Posts: 303 Member
    The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.

    There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.

    What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?

    How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?

    How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.

    If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.

    You're missing the part where instead of him having a reasonable conversation with her, he went bat****crazy and threw a temper tantrum. It's hard to respect somebody that clearly didn't respect his wife enough to explain that he wanted to be able to eat his food too in a manner that a husband should address his wife- ya know, like not throwing her food out...
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 839 Member
    Throw out the husband.
  • TamiBarnes66
    TamiBarnes66 Posts: 34 Member
    I am sorry that this happened. Its very difficult when one person is trying to get healthy and the other is struggling with the changes. He sounds like he was frustrated and with working as much as he is, they get a lil testy sometimes. He certainly shouldnt have thrown out your food that you paid for. Even if he paid for it, you BOTH chose for you to stay home with your son. Sounds like he had been trying to be supportive for the first couple months, but was becoming increasingly frustrated and instead of explaining to you calmly he exploded.

    I am glad you two were able to sit down and talk about this...it seems that you both were able to see your mistakes, and how you can try to make it work for you both.

    You should certainly compromise on having some things in the house that he enjoys. As for meals, maybe you both can come up with things that you both can eat, maybe healthier versions of things you both like. When I try something new, I get my husbands opinion on if he liked it or maybe how I can make it more to his liking but still keep it healthier. As for salt, you can cook with a lil bit of it or have salt available for him to season after cooking. It is also okay to have the unhealthier things sometimes, just in moderation. He can have a big portion and you can fill up on a big salad and/or veggies and then a small portion of the main course.

    I dont understand why he is having a problem with you working out or even talking about it, but that is something you should talk to him about. Maybe he is afraid of you changing and then leaving him, or maybe your working out is interferrring with together time.

    The biggest thing is talking together and trying to find a comprimise that works for you both. Plz feel free to add me as friend. I am open to any venting that you need. LOL I often do it myself!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    The anger and anti-male sentiment in this thread just makes me so happy to have what I have, a beautiful, highly intelligent and well-educated wife, who loves to cook and take care of our family. I, in turn, provide income. It's a unique relationship, I know, but one that works for us. There are all types of family structures, and each couple is entitled to find their own. I really feel for those that get this angry and worked up over a food dispute, however, and probably even more sorry for those that consider home cooked meals something remarkable. My wife and I can both cook, but she always takes the primary responsibility, and there's rarely a day that goes by when there isn't a home cooked meal available. For those of you still worked up, go back and read the thread and the additional information the OP posted. It seems that she and her husband worked it out. I really hope the rest of you do the same in your own homes, as there is way too much anger being expressed.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Your husband sounds like a tool. When I cook there is one simple rule "Don't like it, don't eat it (but be prepared to make your own)" I'll even give my husband the money to go and buy himself something if he doesn't like what's on the menu. He didn't like black beans in the chili I made, so he went and got himself Wendy's on my dime. This is fine and as close to compromise as we get when I'm cooking. When he cooks I eat what me makes or I go and make something else; I don't demand he make something different, I don't holler and scream then storm out like an angry child, and I sure don't throw out food,

    When I was growing up my mother cooked one meal for dinner. If I didn't like it then I had best find myself something else to eat. She didn't take orders and then churn out eight individual meals for every member of the household. If other people have the time/desire to do such things good on them, but I know I don't.
  • Make a compromise, get him a small fridge from walmart and he can buy whatever his little heart desires and you can buy what you need to eat.....then tell him to cook it lol that should get him to pay attention that being healthy for a woman is more different than a man!
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member

    Yes and it would be basic good manners for her to love her husband enough to fix him the foods he enjoys too. I don't think the hubs would have been so upset if she were fixing him the things he enjoys let's say 3 nights out of 7. I bet that would be a compromise he could live with. They obviously have different caloric needs with his activity level vs. hers. Give the man some whole milk and foods he enjoys that fill him up. And again, if money is an issue and it is not affordable to make two meals, make a healthy meal some nights and meals he enjoys some nights. It really is not difficult. There is no reason they can't both have what they want, through mutual compromise, and have a strong relationship. Give and take.

    Not really - if he cooks, he can cook what he likes. Unless the food is inedible, theres no reason not to eat it. Like I said, if he needs more calories, he could always have seconds or eat some bread after.

    The give and take is that she has given her time and effort to cook dinner. The least he could do is say thankyou.

    We do have separate milks in our house, but if we didn't, I wouldnt think about moaning - its only milk.

    Having said all this, I am a very 'generalist' eater and like almost anything.



    I truly "get" what you are saying. I just have a different perspective on where I see the problem here. Where you appear to think he should just "eat it and shut up and be grateful" I am of the opinion out of love for him she should make sure she fixes him the things he enjoys to eat, at least some of the time. I love my hubs to death and if he wants to eat something I prefer not to eat, I will fix it for him. And he knows that and is very appreciative about it. He never complains about what I fix. Most nights it will be healthy food we can both eat and enjoy. But those times he wants something different, I am more than happy to do it for him. Because I love him. And we've been married for 27 blissful years. So I've learned a few things about compromise and how to make a relationship work.

    yes, but i think the problem here is how he went about it. if my husband came to me nicely, i would nicely respond, but, if my husband acted like a douche bag, throwing my stuff in the trash and making demands on me, then all hell would break lose. so, the responses that the op is getting, is in direct response to her husbands abusive behavior. i dont have the problem the op has, my husband complies with whatever i want, and we have been married for many many years, with 5 kids from ages 7-14... this is how our family works, and it works well... however, if my husband acted in that manner over something so minor; food; then believe me, the gates of hell would have opened up and swallowed him whole. the problem is not him wanting different food, the problem is him verbally attacking her the way he did.
  • daj150
    daj150 Posts: 815 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    This happened with my wife and I when I had gone on a diet years ago. I had thrown out anything that would tempt me, but she didn't need to go on a diet and she freaked. We made a compromise and to keep myself from being tempted, we stored her food in places different from mine...meal prep sucked, but it worked. It's all about compromise unless you are both doing the same thing together...like now, my wife and I both following the same type of eating lifestyle, so it works perfectly.

    Now, the way he handled it is awful...I would give him a boot to the head and put him in his place. He needs to support you and be more understanding.
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 839 Member
    Throw out the husband.

    In all seriousness, I've discussed my dietary changes with my husband. When I cook, I cook the way I want to eat. He is free to purchase junk he likes or prepare any meal he wants. But if he wants me to cook, he'll eat what I cook.
  • dtban
    dtban Posts: 111 Member
    too many posts to read them all, however, my opinion: if he wants something else, let him cook it!
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
    WOW that was a harsh reaction. I am thinking he secretly doesnt want you to lose weight. You lose weight, you become more attractive to other men (which personally I find ridiculous) and he fears you will leave him.

    Okay. That's both unfair and nonsensical in this case.

    The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
    Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.

    I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.

    I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
    I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.

    maybe this, good one.
  • dtban
    dtban Posts: 111 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    This happened with my wife and I when I had gone on a diet years ago. I had thrown out anything that would tempt me, but she didn't need to go on a diet and she freaked. We made a compromise and to keep myself from being tempted, we stored her food in places different from mine...meal prep sucked, but it worked. It's all about compromise unless you are both doing the same thing together...like now, my wife and I both following the same type of eating lifestyle, so it works perfectly.

    Now, the way he handled it is awful...I would give him a boot to the head and put him in his place. He needs to support you and be more understanding.

    agreed!
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.

    There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.

    What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?

    How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?

    How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.

    If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.
    Oh, good grief. You act like the original post had any marital respect in it. Personally the whole situation sounds ridiculous to me because there actually is marital respect in my home. I have never had to junkpunch my husband but if he did some shyt this crazy, I just might. Making it about "advocating spousal abuse" is kind of a stretch, don't you think? This is the internet, for cryin out loud.

    This situation didn't "just happen." It evolved somehow with this couple not staying in sync & forging some kind of compromise where she could eat the foods she wants to eat to lose weight & he could eat foods he enjoys as well. Responsibility lies on both sides. Tantrums like that don't come out of nowhere & there were probably signs earlier on that he was reaching some kind of breaking point. They both should have tried to reach some kind of compromise sooner.

    Still, he's a grown-up too & just because he's frustrated doesn't give him the right to act like a douche.
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
    I would purposely provide a salt shaker next to his meal. He can add it AFTER it's cooked. There is no difference. If he wants fried chicken - buy Kentucky Fried - and drop it at his plate. There is no need for you to eat his food or prepare junk food - it's easier to buy it pre-made. Prepare your delicious foods and just pick his up on the way home at some greasy joint. At some point, he will most likely get tired of it and may request yours. That's when you sweetly tell him that you didn't make enough for him. Frankly, I'd have probably packed my bags or changed the locks and made him go live with his mother for a week. I wouldn't tolerate that kind of yelling. But, he may have a point on the sodas. There is no reason for him to live without soda and chips. At our house, we have all the bad stuff and my family eats that stuff. I eat my healthy stuff. Basically, I don't munch on junk but it's available to all. As to why he got frustrated that you wouldn't eat the chips, that may be jealousy....or he really does miss soda that much. Can you get a mini-fridge like a college type? If yes, get a small one and put sodas, junk stuff - be it cakes or whatever he ate before, put ice cream - all the stuff he liked and tell him that's HIS fridge and the big one is the family fridge. Junk food will always be in his for his eating. Basically, his and her fridges, that should solve the problem. If you can resist chips, you can handle having the bad stuff in the house. Tell him he should provide a list of the stuff he wants in his fridge and that he can serve himself as you'll be too busy cooking for the family. It sounds more like he misses junk food. If it's fried, it's easy enough to buy that stuff and pass it on to him without your eating it. That's the advantage of buying food out - heck - most grocery stores even carry food that's pre-prepared like fried chicken so you could get his and not do a darn thing other than reheat it in the oven.
  • dtban
    dtban Posts: 111 Member
    WOW that was a harsh reaction. I am thinking he secretly doesnt want you to lose weight. You lose weight, you become more attractive to other men (which personally I find ridiculous) and he fears you will leave him.

    Okay. That's both unfair and nonsensical in this case.

    The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
    Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.

    I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.

    I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
    I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.

    I dont agree with this....i am the ASSUMED cook in my house, not because I dont work, we both have jobs!
  • 19kat55
    19kat55 Posts: 336 Member

    Yes and it would be basic good manners for her to love her husband enough to fix him the foods he enjoys too. I don't think the hubs would have been so upset if she were fixing him the things he enjoys let's say 3 nights out of 7. I bet that would be a compromise he could live with. They obviously have different caloric needs with his activity level vs. hers. Give the man some whole milk and foods he enjoys that fill him up. And again, if money is an issue and it is not affordable to make two meals, make a healthy meal some nights and meals he enjoys some nights. It really is not difficult. There is no reason they can't both have what they want, through mutual compromise, and have a strong relationship. Give and take.

    Not really - if he cooks, he can cook what he likes. Unless the food is inedible, theres no reason not to eat it. Like I said, if he needs more calories, he could always have seconds or eat some bread after.

    The give and take is that she has given her time and effort to cook dinner. The least he could do is say thankyou.

    We do have separate milks in our house, but if we didn't, I wouldnt think about moaning - its only milk.

    Having said all this, I am a very 'generalist' eater and like almost anything.



    I truly "get" what you are saying. I just have a different perspective on where I see the problem here. Where you appear to think he should just "eat it and shut up and be grateful" I am of the opinion out of love for him she should make sure she fixes him the things he enjoys to eat, at least some of the time. I love my hubs to death and if he wants to eat something I prefer not to eat, I will fix it for him. And he knows that and is very appreciative about it. He never complains about what I fix. Most nights it will be healthy food we can both eat and enjoy. But those times he wants something different, I am more than happy to do it for him. Because I love him. And we've been married for 27 blissful years. So I've learned a few things about compromise and how to make a relationship work.

    yes, but i think the problem here is how he went about it. if my husband came to me nicely, i would nicely respond, but, if my husband acted like a douche bag, throwing my stuff in the trash and making demands on me, then all hell would break lose. so, the responses that the op is getting, is in direct response to her husbands abusive behavior. i dont have the problem the op has, my husband complies with whatever i want, and we have been married for many many years, with 5 kids from ages 7-14... this is how our family works, and it works well... however, if my husband acted in that manner over something so minor; food; then believe me, the gates of hell would have opened up and swallowed him whole. the problem is not him wanting different food, the problem is him verbally attacking her the way he did.


    I agree with you that his outburst was not acceptable. You will not here an argument from me that is ever acceptable. He should have COMMUNICATED with her that he would appreciate it if some nights she would fix the foods he enjoyed. I had not responded to any of your posts. And do not stand in judgment of you or how "your family works". What works in my family is mutual love, respect, and compromise. No one in my family demands there way. We discuss and work it out. There is not a "my way or the highway" mentality about it.
  • arnie900
    arnie900 Posts: 22 Member
    This sounds abusive. He's feeling threatened that you want to change yourself for the better and he felt like no one else would want you if you were overweight and now he might lose you if you improve yourself. He's trying to control you and it's not OK. You should seek counseling with or without him. It starts with this and gets worse. Don't let it; you're in control.
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
    When I was growing up my mother cooked one meal for dinner. If I didn't like it then I had best find myself something else to eat. She didn't take orders and then churn out eight individual meals for every member of the household. If other people have the time/desire to do such things good on them, but I know I don't.

    Yeah, I can only imagine how far demanding my mum made something else for dinner would have gotten any of us. :bigsmile:

    I know for a fact my dad doesn't like most veg, but only because when he cooked for us when mum was out he wouldn't make any, but I never heard him complain or saw him leave any food on his plate, ever.

    I think 'not really liking' something seems to be some kind of barrier to eating it nowadays.

    Although we never struggled (that I knew of) financially, growing up, my dad especially was from a very poor family - my grandad would save and drink the veg water (that which was not used to make gravy) to get all the 'goodness' out. He was the kind of man who would crack the bones from his meat and eat the marrow. So, I guess some of this has rubbed off on me. I can still make one whole chicken stretch to at least three days (usually four) worth of meals for a family of three - my wife says she has never seen anyone make such a large pile of meat from a seemingly used carcase....
  • I agree with Maddalen101! lyou can eat foods you love as long as you keep track of your calories!. so having his and hers in the fridge would make it easier for both parties! Those in the household that are not trying to get fit still eat what they love! and you still get to eat what you want for yourself in order to be healthy and help you lose weight!. my situation when i joined was somewhat similar ...however my husband is fit and works out and is always trying to eat healthy...me..not so much! so when i decided now is the time for me to be serious and lose this weight i went and bought healthier snacks meals etc! my problem? he eats all the things i like and when i go to eat or drink something its gone!..lol But we decided my healthy meals and or snacks get put in a certain cabnet and in the fridge i have things that i like to eat on a certain shelf...it works for us so hopefully you and your husband can work something out and just know that we are all here rooting for you and are here whenever you need support!
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member

    The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
    Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.

    I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.

    I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
    I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.

    Or: he could just eat more of what she made and stop acting like a spoiled child.
  • rachel4304
    rachel4304 Posts: 115 Member
    WOW that was a harsh reaction. I am thinking he secretly doesnt want you to lose weight. You lose weight, you become more attractive to other men (which personally I find ridiculous) and he fears you will leave him.

    Okay. That's both unfair and nonsensical in this case.

    The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
    Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.

    I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.

    I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
    I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.
    QFT!
  • Buy skim and whole milk, let him add whatever he wants to his own plate, etc. If he wants to cover his own veggies and chicken with a cup of cheese, let him. Just control your own portions.