Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
Replies
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The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.
There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.
What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?
How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?
How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.
If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.
You're missing the part where instead of him having a reasonable conversation with her, he went bat****crazy and threw a temper tantrum. It's hard to respect somebody that clearly didn't respect his wife enough to explain that he wanted to be able to eat his food too in a manner that a husband should address his wife- ya know, like not throwing her food out...
No. Pretty sure I got that part of the OP's thread. Did you not get the part where they sat and had a long conversation and apologized to each other?
Respecting other people seems like such a big deal for some people.
This man has been accused of being an abuser and a drunk in this thread. Not to mention "bat [insert expletive here] crazy". That isn't deserved, and I'm not even sure OP expected that sort of rancor from the women on this board.
I am glad the OP and her husband are doing just fine with this. My comment wasn't even directed at her. It was directed to the angry hoard that decided to attack her husband and suggest physical violence.
Women who advocate that sort of thing are disrespecting themselves, their spouses and women as a group.
I choose not to advocate violence. If my remark against women suggesting "junk punches" offends you, does that say something negative against me? I tend to think it does not.0 -
The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.
I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.
I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.
Or: he could just eat more of what she made and stop acting like a spoiled child.
Not every man is going to be happy with no control over what he eats at home. Name calling seems a bit much.0 -
What he did was wrong. However this is a change you need to make, not him or the rest of the family. That was probably the hardest thing for me to accept. I was the one who had insulin resistance, I was the one with no thyroid, I was the one with the medical concerns... they should not have to burden my "sufferage" when they are perfectly healthy.
I eat meals with them, but different. Instead of having the ptoatoes or whatever heavy starchy side they have, my hubs (who does the majority of the cooking) makes me a spare side of veggies... something none of them will eat like aperagus. Now I get to eat some things I had given up because they wouldn't eat it and they still have the foods they want.
But to toss all of your food and ultimately threaten you... that is not healthy and is not supportive. There is a more deep seeded issue that requires attention there.0 -
The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.
I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.
I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.
Or: he could just eat more of what she made.
Is that so?
Okay, then. Let's flip things around.
Let's say the husband is trying to gain weight, OP is the one who works and earns the income and has no weight issues/is happy with her weight. Husband is the one who buys and cooks the food. For this reason, he cooks up more calorie dense meals: big meat and potato dinners, nachos, etc, etc. Stuff like, well. I'd cook.
Is it fair to say she should simply eat smaller portions of what he eats? That could very well amount to barely anything - a tiny portion of nachos. Alternatively, she could eat similarly to him. And gain weight.
See where I'm going wth this?
The guy doesn't want to lose weight, and I suspect he also doesn't want to shovel down large volumes of food he clearly doesn't like.0 -
[Not every man is going to be happy with no control over what he eats at home. Name calling seems a bit much.
And that's why every man should know how to cook.0 -
[Not every man is going to be happy with no control over what he eats at home. Name calling seems a bit much.
And that's why every man should know how to cook.
And every woman should work full time?0 -
You just keep up what you're doing! He's probably worried that you'll become so much more attractive that someone will try to sweep you off your feet!!! LOL!!0
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I seriously am baffled by how asinine the majority of the replies to this post are.
Do you know nothing about men?
So many of you are so quick to condemn the OP's hubby for being selfish, immature, abusive, insensitive, blah, blah blah...
Did any of you READ the original post?
He supported her for TWO MONTHS without complaining, without the slightest objection while she single handedly decided to change both their lifestyles without even consulting him.
So he acted like a child and blew up after 2 months of starving. I would too.
yeah, let's just chuck everything and kick him out. Or better yet, abuse him verbally and physically and play tit-for-tat money games like so many also suggested.
Yes, that's the perfect solution. It's all his fault for being skinny naturally and liking to eat "real" food.
And so many posters insist the hubby has an anger management problem, a drinking problem, a fear of his wife "getting Hot" problem. Projecting much?
The guy is not EATING. He's sucked it up and said nothing for TWO MONTHS. He's not overweight, yet he's being starved. He works. She doesn't. He pays for the groceries. She only buys the groceries she wants that are conducive to her new eating regime. She (and so many of you) don't seem to think that by paying for the groceries (and probably everything else in the house) he has a right to ask for FOOD he can enjoy. Maybe she doesn't have to cook it (though she should at least part of the time) but at the very least it should be AVAILABLE to him. And those of you who say he should get his own food are very quick to condemn him from bringing Taco Bell home! If he pays for it, it's ALL his food IMO.
there is no hidden agenda here, no ulterior motive. he doesn't want to sabotage her. He's HUNGRY.
Most men aren't that complicated Ladies.
I agree with those who say communication is essential to a relationship, of course, but it certainly does not sound as if the OP consulted her hubby at all when making major life decisions that affect him. and you all think this is fine, and he's an *kitten* for not being supportive!!! How would you feel if your SO suddenly decided that for his/her health you were going to become a vegan, a meatatarian, or eat only raw foods? Why is it ok her for to make that choice for both of them? Because you personally happen to agree with the choice she elected to make???
Poor guy.0 -
my husband eats any and everything also. At first when i started dieting things were hard because we both ate crappy. Now we have learned that its okay for me to have a giant salad and him fried chicken. He drinks sodas in front of me and it doesnt bother me. I have learned to say no. I think its fine to buy his type food and i buy mine. I just steer clear of it all.0
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I'm trying to sort through all of the responses here but don't see anything addressing this: I cook healthy food for my family because I want THEM to be healthy as well. If my husband and teenagers want to stuff themselves silly with junk food, that's their perogative, but they won't be doing it on my watch.
My fiance died suddenly ten years ago at the age of 42 of a massive coronary. He ate what he liked, didn't take care of himself, and shunned the idea of any kind of healthy eating. I love my husband and my kids, and I love myself. I don't feel like the OP should have to keep unhealthy food on hand because her husband wants to eat that way.
What I do when cooking for the family is just make extras of the stuff that the rest of them like -- pasta or chili or whatever - cook it all in a healthy way and seriously? Nobody is the wiser. They don't know if the chili is vegetarian or if the meat is extra lean or whatever. And if they're still hungry, they know where the peanut butter is!0 -
Let him cool down and then have a talk with him about what's going on. Then do rebuy your food. You are a grown woman and need not be controlled by someone else. If he doesn't like the food you are buying, he knows his way to the grocery store, right? Or if you are the main shopper and want to work with him, talk to him about some of the things he enjoys that he would like to have "in stock" around the house. He needs to respect and support you and you need to do the same, and having a screaming fit of pent up resentment is not the way to do it. Good luck to you and keep up the good work you're doing for your body.
^^^ This. Hope you can work it out so you're both happy.0 -
I seriously am baffled by how asinine the majority of the replies to this post are.
Do you know nothing about men?
So many of you are so quick to condemn the OP's hubby for being selfish, immature, abusive, insensitive, blah, blah blah...
Did any of you READ the original post?
He supported her for TWO MONTHS without complaining, without the slightest objection while she single handedly decided to change both their lifestyles without even consulting him.
So he acted like a child and blew up after 2 months of starving. I would too.
yeah, let's just chuck everything and kick him out. Or better yet, abuse him verbally and physically and play tit-for-tat money games like so many also suggested.
Yes, that's the perfect solution. It's all his fault for being skinny naturally and liking to eat "real" food.
And so many posters insist the hubby has an anger management problem, a drinking problem, a fear of his wife "getting Hot" problem. Projecting much?
How freaking idiotic are you?
The guy is not EATING. He's sucked it up and said nothing for TWO MONTHS. He's not overweight, yet he's being starved. He works. She doesn't. He pays for the groceries. She only buys the groceries she wants that are conducive to her new eating regime. She (and so many of you) don't seem to think that by paying for the groceries (and probably everything else in the house) he has a right to ask for FOOD he can enjoy. Maybe she doesn't have to cook it (though she should at least part of the time) but at the very least it should be AVAILABLE to him. And those of you who say he should get his own food are very quick to condemn him from bringing Taco Bell home! If he pays for it, it's ALL his food IMO.
there is no hidden agenda here, no ulterior motive. he doesn't want to sabotage her. He's HUNGRY.
Most men aren't that complicated Ladies.
I agree with those who say communication is essential to a relationship, of course, but it certainly does not sound as if the OP consulted her hubby at all when making major life decisions that affect him. and you all think this is fine, and he's an *kitten* for not being supportive!!! How would you feel if your SO suddenly decided that for his/her health you were going to become a vegan, a meatatarian, or eat only raw foods? Why is it ok her for to make that choice for both of them? Because you personally happen to agree with the choice she elected to make???
How self-centered, immature, small minded and short sighted.
Poor guy.
So. Much.
This.0 -
I'm trying to sort through all of the responses here but don't see anything addressing this: I cook healthy food for my family because I want THEM to be healthy as well. If my husband and teenagers want to stuff themselves silly with junk food, that's their perogative, but they won't be doing it on my watch.
My fiance died suddenly ten years ago at the age of 42 of a massive coronary. He ate what he liked, didn't take care of himself, and shunned the idea of any kind of healthy eating. I love my husband and my kids, and I love myself. I don't feel like the OP should have to keep unhealthy food on hand because her husband wants to eat that way.
What I do when cooking for the family is just make extras of the stuff that the rest of them like -- pasta or chili or whatever - cook it all in a healthy way and seriously? Nobody is the wiser. They don't know if the chili is vegetarian or if the meat is extra lean or whatever. And if they're still hungry, they know where the peanut butter is!
bring on Big Brother...0 -
I seriously am baffled by how asinine the majority of the replies to this post are.
Do you know nothing about men?
So many of you are so quick to condemn the OP's hubby for being selfish, immature, abusive, insensitive, blah, blah blah...
Did any of you READ the original post?
He supported her for TWO MONTHS without complaining, without the slightest objection while she single handedly decided to change both their lifestyles without even consulting him.
So he acted like a child and blew up after 2 months of starving. I would too.
yeah, let's just chuck everything and kick him out. Or better yet, abuse him verbally and physically and play tit-for-tat money games like so many also suggested.
Yes, that's the perfect solution. It's all his fault for being skinny naturally and liking to eat "real" food.
And so many posters insist the hubby has an anger management problem, a drinking problem, a fear of his wife "getting Hot" problem. Projecting much?
How freaking idiotic are you?
The guy is not EATING. He's sucked it up and said nothing for TWO MONTHS. He's not overweight, yet he's being starved. He works. She doesn't. He pays for the groceries. She only buys the groceries she wants that are conducive to her new eating regime. She (and so many of you) don't seem to think that by paying for the groceries (and probably everything else in the house) he has a right to ask for FOOD he can enjoy. Maybe she doesn't have to cook it (though she should at least part of the time) but at the very least it should be AVAILABLE to him. And those of you who say he should get his own food are very quick to condemn him from bringing Taco Bell home! If he pays for it, it's ALL his food IMO.
there is no hidden agenda here, no ulterior motive. he doesn't want to sabotage her. He's HUNGRY.
Most men aren't that complicated Ladies.
I agree with those who say communication is essential to a relationship, of course, but it certainly does not sound as if the OP consulted her hubby at all when making major life decisions that affect him. and you all think this is fine, and he's an *kitten* for not being supportive!!! How would you feel if your SO suddenly decided that for his/her health you were going to become a vegan, a meatatarian, or eat only raw foods? Why is it ok her for to make that choice for both of them? Because you personally happen to agree with the choice she elected to make???
How self-centered, immature, small minded and short sighted.
Poor guy.
I was going to stay out of this thread because I just couldn't find a way to voice my opinion nicely...but yeah, this pretty much summed up my feelings about it too.0 -
I'm trying to sort through all of the responses here but don't see anything addressing this: I cook healthy food for my family because I want THEM to be healthy as well. If my husband and teenagers want to stuff themselves silly with junk food, that's their perogative, but they won't be doing it on my watch.
My fiance died suddenly ten years ago at the age of 42 of a massive coronary. He ate what he liked, didn't take care of himself, and shunned the idea of any kind of healthy eating. I love my husband and my kids, and I love myself. I don't feel like the OP should have to keep unhealthy food on hand because her husband wants to eat that way.
What I do when cooking for the family is just make extras of the stuff that the rest of them like -- pasta or chili or whatever - cook it all in a healthy way and seriously? Nobody is the wiser. They don't know if the chili is vegetarian or if the meat is extra lean or whatever. And if they're still hungry, they know where the peanut butter is!
On the flip side of your coin, isn't your deception going to have long-term consequences for your teens? I mean in a few years, they are going to be on their own and not know about how to make healthy food choices. After all, mom made chili and pasta with PB for dessert all the time and we didn't gain weight!.... And by denying them the "junk food" you are taking away the chance to learn to eat food in moderation. Deception and ignorance are never the step in the right direction.
I see future MFP members in the making.0 -
The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.
I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.
I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.
Or: he could just eat more of what she made and stop acting like a spoiled child.
I agree. He sounnds like a brat. Lol!0 -
Ah MFP...where divorce is the FIRST possible response to everything and the only thread holding it back is the threat of alimony and child support payments.0
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Ah MFP...where divorce is the FIRST possible response to everything and the only thread holding it back is the threat of alimony and child support payments.
I bet it is a great place for enterprising lawyers!0 -
I can't want until this thread hits 500 and we all stay out of it once and for all. We made our points. O plenty..0
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I would buy my own food. I would tell him to take his happy *kitten* to the store to buy whatever he wants.0
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I see both sides from commenters, but mostly, it's all about compromise. My hubby needs to lose a few and can in flash bc of exercising. I get what I need for me and I also get what he wants, but we usually eat the same things bc he's used to not heavily seasoned/saucy foods. it's funny if I get what he likes and I won't eat it bc of calories, he tries to say I'm making him fat... ;-)0
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In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
I have to disagree with part of this. I have tried to buy indulgent food to keep in my house for other people and you know who ends up eating it first - ME!!!!! For some of us its an all or nothing type of change because we dont have the self control that some of you do.
If he wants to eat his way, why cant you ask him to eat his junk food at lunch or with friends and eat healthy at home. Seems like a reasonable compromise to me.0 -
[Not every man is going to be happy with no control over what he eats at home. Name calling seems a bit much.
And that's why every man should know how to cook.
And every woman should work full time?
I work full time (9 hours a day), I go to University, get home cook, clean, shop for groceries... Why do you guys assume that if you handle the house chores you are not working?!?!!?
If I go shopping, I am buying whatever I want. If I am cooking, I am cooking whatever I want. If you don't like this, then you know where the shop is... and the location of the stove. Get to it.
Name calling is a bit much tho... :flowerforyou:0 -
Let him cool down and then have a talk with him about what's going on. Then do rebuy your food. You are a grown woman and need not be controlled by someone else. If he doesn't like the food you are buying, he knows his way to the grocery store, right? Or if you are the main shopper and want to work with him, talk to him about some of the things he enjoys that he would like to have "in stock" around the house. He needs to respect and support you and you need to do the same, and having a screaming fit of pent up resentment is not the way to do it. Good luck to you and keep up the good work you're doing for your body.
^^^ This. Hope you can work it out so you're both happy.
Already happened. Page 10, OP stated issues have been worked through.0 -
This content has been removed.
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Bump for later0
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I seriously am baffled by how asinine the majority of the replies to this post are.
Do you know nothing about men?
So many of you are so quick to condemn the OP's hubby for being selfish, immature, abusive, insensitive, blah, blah blah...
Did any of you READ the original post?
He supported her for TWO MONTHS without complaining, without the slightest objection while she single handedly decided to change both their lifestyles without even consulting him.
So he acted like a child and blew up after 2 months of starving. I would too.
yeah, let's just chuck everything and kick him out. Or better yet, abuse him verbally and physically and play tit-for-tat money games like so many also suggested.
Yes, that's the perfect solution. It's all his fault for being skinny naturally and liking to eat "real" food.
And so many posters insist the hubby has an anger management problem, a drinking problem, a fear of his wife "getting Hot" problem. Projecting much?
How freaking idiotic are you?
The guy is not EATING. He's sucked it up and said nothing for TWO MONTHS. He's not overweight, yet he's being starved. He works. She doesn't. He pays for the groceries. She only buys the groceries she wants that are conducive to her new eating regime. She (and so many of you) don't seem to think that by paying for the groceries (and probably everything else in the house) he has a right to ask for FOOD he can enjoy. Maybe she doesn't have to cook it (though she should at least part of the time) but at the very least it should be AVAILABLE to him. And those of you who say he should get his own food are very quick to condemn him from bringing Taco Bell home! If he pays for it, it's ALL his food IMO.
there is no hidden agenda here, no ulterior motive. he doesn't want to sabotage her. He's HUNGRY.
Most men aren't that complicated Ladies.
I agree with those who say communication is essential to a relationship, of course, but it certainly does not sound as if the OP consulted her hubby at all when making major life decisions that affect him. and you all think this is fine, and he's an *kitten* for not being supportive!!! How would you feel if your SO suddenly decided that for his/her health you were going to become a vegan, a meatatarian, or eat only raw foods? Why is it ok her for to make that choice for both of them? Because you personally happen to agree with the choice she elected to make???
How self-centered, immature, small minded and short sighted.
Poor guy.
Yes, all of this! I think I love you! :flowerforyou:0 -
[Not every man is going to be happy with no control over what he eats at home. Name calling seems a bit much.
And that's why every man should know how to cook.
And every woman should work full time?
I work full time (9 hours a day), I go to University, get home cook, clean, shop for groceries... Why do you guys assume that if you handle the house chores you are not working?!?!!?
If I go shopping, I am buying whatever I want. If I am cooking, I am cooking whatever I want. If you don't like this, then you know where the shop is... and the location of the stove. Get to it.
Name calling is a bit much tho... :flowerforyou:
the assumption is on your part.
the OP said she did NOT work.0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
She isn't forcing anything--- if he wants "real" food - remind him to take his butt to the store and buy it himself. If he doesn't like what she's made for dinner, make your own. He isn't a toddler that she needs to support. No man should discourage your fitness journey. He doesn't sound supportive, at all.0 -
[Not every man is going to be happy with no control over what he eats at home. Name calling seems a bit much.
And that's why every man should know how to cook.
And every woman should work full time?
I work full time (9 hours a day), I go to University, get home cook, clean, shop for groceries... Why do you guys assume that if you handle the house chores you are not working?!?!!?
If I go shopping, I am buying whatever I want. If I am cooking, I am cooking whatever I want. If you don't like this, then you know where the shop is... and the location of the stove. Get to it.
Name calling is a bit much tho... :flowerforyou:
Guess what...I work a full time job, I do all the cooking, the cleaning, and the shopping. Guess what else, when I go shopping I ASK my wife if she wants anything specific. Just because I do all the chores doesn't mean I get to dictate what is bought and I'm not going to act like a stubbor child who sits down in the aisle next to the toy they want but can't have. I'll happily by the box of oreos that she wants, even if I don't eat them.0
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