Left Handed Compliment. Who's getting them....

I'm in the beauty shop, the beautician says to another client "Doesn't she (me) look fantastic?!", client says "Yeah, but I don't want to lose weight bad enough to mutilate my body like she did". I say "What? I did this through diet and exercise, not surgery!", and the woman proceeds to argue with me, insisting I couldn't possibly have lost 67 pounds "just by diet and exercise" and that I didn't need to be ashamed of having surgery! Sometimes you just shake your head and move on.....

last summer when i got down to my lowest weight since about the age of 13 i found out that a number of my larger friends were gossiping about my weight loss, they had all agreed that i looked like crap, drawn, ill even, they then decided to tell me they had been watching me for about a month and had decided as i obviously wasn't ill it must be my evil diet, needless to say i was devastated, the fact was i was going through a pretty crappy period with my eldest son who has mental health issues, was stressed to the eyeballs, and therefore not sleeping well, i was also "training" for my first ever 5k.
im ashamed to say it sent me into a spiral and ended up putting weight back on, but im back on the old diet now, and this time i am not going to let there half complimentary, half b****y comments get me down.
they regularly call me a skinny b***h and although yes im thinner than them, thinner than i have ever been, i am still in the overweight category so clearly not that skinny
i wonder if the next time i am greeted with hello skinny b***h, it would be considered ill mannered of me to reply with hello fat b***h lol but im not that cruel

A coworker who is very visibly thinner than me (but same height) who knows she is at least 20 lbs lighter than me (we've talked numbers before) was lamenting that she needed to get smaller because she jiggles when working out in her underwear. (She's in the lower range of healthy weight. I am in the upper range, dancing on the line to overweight.) After noticing that I'm standing there looking at her, she goes, "but YOU look good."

Right.

(I'm not really insulted by this. More like inspired to work harder... and it also makes me think she's a little bit off her rocker.)

TL;DR: Don't get butthurt because you misinterpreted someone's compliment.

Guy at work asked me how much weight I had lost. I always feel uncomfortable answering this, but I'm about being honest, so I told him my number (48 lbs at the time). His response was to laugh and say, "wow if I lost that much weight, I'd be a skeleton."

TL;DR: Don't get butthurt because you misinterpreted someone's compliment.

To be honest, I don't think a lot of these comments are meant maliciously. The topic of weight is very touchy for a lot of people, and I think friends and family can feel awkward about the situation. They want to recognize your progress but don't know how to go about doing it. Think about it. Girls of any size are known to say "OMG I look/feel/am so fat!" and her friends will likely respond "No! You look great! You're perfect how you are." So if you are trying to be open about your goals with your friends by saying "I still want to lose another 15 lbs and gain some muscle" their response will be the same "No, you look great right now! You don't need to change at all!" I mean, how else would you respond? "Yeah, 15 lbs and some muscle would do you a lot of good. Get on it, chubster!"

Having used it myself in this context before, I believe "Make sure you don't get too skinny!" is a sign of concern. They may worry that you have an eating disorder or are doing it unhealthily, but don't want to confront you directly with it. The best thing is just to use time to prove you ARE healthy and safe and doing it for your health and wellness. When I was much heavier, I dreamed of weighing 110lbs (at 6'-yuck) and being a supermodel. Now that I have a little age and perspective, I am shooting for a healthy 170 with a healthy-athletic body fat percentage. What impression do you give off, even if you are shooting for a healthy goal? Instead of saying "Oh, I wish I was that skinny" I talk about my weight loss in terms of "I'm trying to run a 5k by my birthday and I'm trying to get my butt to look like Leila Ali's" I don't get the "don't get too thin" comments anymore because people understand that a number on the scale is not my focus.

And finally, the fact is, healthy people DO look better. I wasn't attractive at 270lbs. I couldn't do physical activities with my friends. My friends didn't choose to hang out with me because I looked good though, they hang out with me because they like my personality. I'm not offended at all if people tell me "You've lost weight! You look so good now!" It's 100% true. I look a lot better than I used to and am lot healthier. So I respond "Thank you, I feel great, too." They aren't saying I was any less of a person before.

People have asked if I got sick. I always assume their concern is genuine. Having a serious illness IS a big reason people lose weight quickly. I just explain to them that I was tired of feeling sick all the time before so I took steps to get healthier. In essence, with pre-diabetes, insulin resistance, and joint pain, I WAS sick. It just so happened the best treatment was weight-loss from exercise and a healthier, mindful diet.