*sigh*Partner losing weight?They are planning to leave

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Replies

  • sanzertu
    sanzertu Posts: 1
    i think it sounds true at a 60 % cause if one did want to lose weight why dont they both lose weight together would that make more since if they want to live why not the both of them.
    and then 20 % in some relationships one doesnt care to or need to lose weight cause stress on the body, health issues etc.
    20 % one is fit enough and the other is stressing on it
  • Slimithy
    Slimithy Posts: 348 Member
    i think it sounds true at a 60 % cause if one did want to lose weight why dont they both lose weight together would that make more since if they want to live why not the both of them.
    and then 20 % in some relationships one doesnt care to or need to lose weight cause stress on the body, health issues etc.
    20 % one is fit enough and the other is stressing on it

    Necrotic Thread! BE... REBORN!!!
  • mcshoelovin22
    mcshoelovin22 Posts: 263 Member
    I did this before I left my ex #guilty
  • alw141
    alw141 Posts: 59 Member
    I read the article, and I don't like the assumption that someone in a relationship is supposed to just give up on what they look like, and showing any interest in their fitness or health is a sign they are getting ready to leave! What a proposterous assumption. I am in a steady relationship, and the #1 reason I want to lose this weight is to be healthy and have a longer life with him...not so I can go find a new partner!

    ^^^THIS!!!^^^
  • Graceious1
    Graceious1 Posts: 716 Member
    I'm not going to read the article. A study can be skewed to prove any point. My relationship is stable and I'm getting fit so that I can spend many more years with my boyfriend, not leave him.

    Word
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I think if someone actually left after losing weight, the other person was better off without them.
  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
    I. Losing weight for my man I want to be sexy confident and be the way I was when we first met before our child I'm losing weight so I can walk around in any type of clothing an him wanting to pounce on me an every chance he gets
  • LaurenVamp
    LaurenVamp Posts: 74 Member
    This is bull.

    Your partner should be happy for you if your'e losing weight and/or getting healthy. Why not support you instead of being afraid to lose you? Mine is doing the same with me, and so are my cousin and her husband!

    If he/she is paranoid, I say get out there and do the same. Consider it motivation to do something good for yourselves together!
  • ValerieZ84
    ValerieZ84 Posts: 98 Member
    My husband says that all the time :huh:

    You know, because throwing away 9 years together, (4 years of marriage) with a divorce and starting over fresh as a single mom of 2 holds wonderous appeal.

    Every pound I lose makes me lose the love I have for him.

    I can go on with the sarcastic answers I give him. :laugh:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    The article doesn't give reference to the actual study, where it was published or any details about how it was conducted. Did they just suddenly realize that people tend to gain weight when they get married and be slimmer when looking for a mate and come to a random conclusion that it means losing weight = wanting a new partner??
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
    My hubz knows that once I lose 8 lbs..Im gone
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    My chick better be in tip top shape at all times or this playa is outta the ballpark!.....I KIDDD I KIDDDD:bigsmile:
  • jen_bd6
    jen_bd6 Posts: 501 Member
    My hubz knows that once I lose 8 lbs..Im gone

    :wink:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I read the article, and I don't like the assumption that someone in a relationship is supposed to just give up on what they look like, and showing any interest in their fitness or health is a sign they are getting ready to leave! What a proposterous assumption. I am in a steady relationship, and the #1 reason I want to lose this weight is to be healthy and have a longer life with him...not so I can go find a new partner!

    The article didn't say that someone in a relations is "supposed to" give up on what they look like. It said that people in a relationship, especially marriage, typically do gain weight. And that is statistically true.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    My hubz knows that once I lose 8 lbs..Im gone

    LOL!
  • b_stroke
    b_stroke Posts: 14 Member
    It all depends on the relationship to begin with, if its unhealthy and the person loosing weight starts to realize that the relationship isnt healthy then thats when it leads to it. Unfortunately It happends alot that one partner gets into shape and leaves the relationship.
    I've seen it happend where 1 person was trying to loose weight and was getting less than no support from his partner then when he dropped his weight and realized his self worth he dropped her.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Hmmm...I'm actually losing weight, eating healthier, and exercising so that I can hopefully add a few years that I can spend with my wife. We both used to be lean and fit...we got fat together...well, me more than her for sure...and now we're getting lean and re-gaining our fitness together.
  • MrOFM
    MrOFM Posts: 41
    I can honestly see where some people are coming from.

    Example if you work your @ss off and get in shape to look good and your partner is just slacking off.
    By slacking off i mean the following
    Getting fat
    doesnt want to do things
    sex is not as often

    But at the same time this means your not happy with them to begin with! I see people confusing this with weight loss!
    Even though this is a relationship problem! But while the person is fat they don't have the confidence, so as soon as they feel good about themselves they leave their partner.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    I can see how some people do it. I want to be hot for myself. And for my husband to enjoy:laugh:
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    I hope someone has already mentioned this, but the study actually found that people in couples usually weigh more than single people. There is no sound logic that lets you make the dramatic conclusion in the title.
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    He's happy with how you look. He loves you for who you are.

    Reinforce with him why you are getting healthier. Reinforce that you WANT only him....in otherwords...have more sex with him.

    Build up his ego.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
    I look at it like this

    I train really hard to be a racecar driver and when I finally reach that point of being awesome at it. I don't want to drive my pontiac sunfire anymore! I want a Ferrari!!!!
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    I look at it like this

    I train really hard to be a racecar driver and when I finally reach that point of being awesome at it. I don't want to drive my pontiac sunfire anymore! I want a Ferrari!!!!

    what about a Buick Enclave . . . :love:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    My ex sent me the same sort of link years ago.


    So I sent back a link to an article titled "If you are an A**hole, your wife will probably divorce you"
  • lawandfitness
    lawandfitness Posts: 1,257 Member
    This is ridiculos... I would never leave my hubby..... Really when I accepted his proposal to get married ,yes it helped he was good to look at, but I accepted becasue of the person he is..... He has such a good heart and personality I knew he was a person I could spend the rest of my life with...

    Remember looks fade as you age, but personality is RELLLLLLLLLLLLLY important.....
  • ShutUpAndLift257
    ShutUpAndLift257 Posts: 71
    This is the stupidest thing I have EVER read.. If this happens, then both partners have serious issues. God forbid someone get's healthy to feel better about themselves!!! Ignore every stupid thing you read and stop bugging us with stupid crap on here.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    i think part of the article assumes that if you are in a relationship as overweight people, then you met as such and were "compatible" as such...and thus when you get into shape and the other does not, you no longer have compatibility points....so every stressor, every incompatibility strives to drive you further apart.

    My ex was very overweight....we started losing together, I kept going, he quit....half way through he left me for another woman (overweight woman who was happy to sit at the couch and eat too much fast food while watching nothing but hours of tv and video games) as he walked out the door he literally said "if you hadn't lost all the weight we would still be together.

    we had a few problems, they were all exacerbated by a growing feeling that we had no commonality....he played video games and watched tv, I worked out, I ran, I went swimming, to the gym,.........

    I think couples that meet and fall in love and like to BE with each other doing stuff together, have nothing to worry about. I think couples that met as actie people and life got away from them, have less to worry about then say a couple that met as overweight people and one tries to overhaul themselves....

    but regardless, I think anyone has a chance as long as they are willing to dig deep and do the work and the sweat that is needed to stay together....

    thats all.
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
    I think if your partner thinks that you're losing weight so you can leave them, that's awfully big headed of them. Heaven forbid you do something for yourself, after all.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    My wife dropped 100 lbs and did she leave? Nooooooo!

    Science disappoints me yet again.
  • Still_Fluffy
    Still_Fluffy Posts: 341 Member
    Funny, I started trying to loose weight wehn I got married. I've been married 6+ years, have lost 130 pounds, and have no plans to leave.
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