UNFAIR!! I'l probably get slated for this but here goes!

I have to say, I find myself commenting most of the posts / updates of people who remark on mine the most. So it's a two way street...... give and you shall receive At the start I always give people the benefit of the doubt and write comments anyway

Sometimes those short sentences on statuses feel insincere when i post them.. that bothers me but I feel obligated to post back.

I prefer talking on the forums and maybe helping people that way.

Nice pug! It's easy enough to avoid friend collectors. Then again, some people motivate each other in other ways. Not everyone can walk through their FR every morning and give "atta girls." Some do, some don't, and some of my most caustically sarcastic friends are also among the most motivational. I like the sentiment though.

True-- I have to smirk a bit every time someone says "we're all here for the same reason" because we clearly aren't.

I guess the take away is that there are enough people here for everyone to be able to find the kind of friends they want. I have a mixture and I'm fine with that. Different friends offer support in different ways.

Yes!! I have a good mix of personality types, many of whom I'm sure would hate me IRL, particularly after a couple of drinks,but I like their perspectives on things.

I often go and comment on the statuses of those people that don't get any comments, and I am more likely to comment on those, than the ones that get a lot of comments.
Some of my friends get like 17 comments on each post, and my first thought is, OK this person has enough encouragement and support, let's find someone who did not get any comments.
Am I bad for thinking this way?

No, I do the same thing. Some of my friends can post one or two word statuses and immediately get 15 comments about it. Others don't. (I'm in the latter category, myself.) I usually go for the ones that tend to be supportive of me too.

I'm that friend. I don't post "way to go!" or "great job!" or any of that, but I don't send out friend requests and I make it known that I am not all that supportive when I am requested. I'm here to do and be me.

Thanks for the reminder - I just went back to my friends list and posted some "Happy Mondays" and "You can do its" on their walls. We're all in this together!

You shouldn't need strangers saying great job every time you post something, yes every now and then is great but you should know yourself if your doing well...

Check the mirror. check the scales...

I often go and comment on the statuses of those people that don't get any comments, and I am more likely to comment on those, than the ones that get a lot of comments.
Some of my friends get like 17 comments on each post, and my first thought is, OK this person has enough encouragement and support, let's find someone who did not get any comments.
Am I bad for thinking this way?

No, I do the same thing. Some of my friends can post one or two word statuses and immediately get 15 comments about it. Others don't. (I'm in the latter category, myself.) I usually go for the ones that tend to be supportive of me too.

^^^ This. I also have friends that have 100's of friends, and even though I still say good morning or make one or two comments I never send them a message of encouragement because they receive it every day. I tend to send a personal message asking if everything is alright after the news feed says that they have not logged for more than three days. I sometimes get a response, but many times I don’t. On the on the hand I only get comments from the same five people. I guess is just like in real life, you connect with some more than with others.

If I see you on my news feed or I interact with you on a regular basis I'll support you.

The truth is it get's difficult to keep track of who isn't getting enough support.

I try my best but personally I think that if the person has been doing this for a while then their motivation should be from within.

Okay to encourage people to keep up with their friends.
But
Some people want a back-and-forth exchange and some don't.
Some people want "good job" comments on their exercise and diary.
Some people want no comments except if they have a problem.
Some people want to share a lot and others want to share nothing.
Some people want a few friends who stay in touch daily.
Some want to acquire a lot of friends and only stay in touch via message.

There is room for everyone on MFP as far as I can see. Each person is responsible to find the friends that meet their needs. Can't always figure that out until you've had them on your list for a while. So if they aren't a good match for you it is ok to delete them and try someone else.

Eh.

I'm not here to get atta girls from internet strangers. That being said, only 1/3 of my friends fit that bill. The other 2/3 are people that I speak with on a semi-/regular basis in real life.

And like someone else mentioned, I'd rather get some real feedback instead of a blind "good job." I see that and wonder if they even bothered to look at my diary. I ate 700 calories below goal and it was all craptastic food. How is that a "good job"?

That's just you posting something so you can feel better about yourself. "I'm such a good friend; I comment on everyone's stuff!"

I'm very much like you. I have one or two friends on here I actually met on here, but for the most part, most are people I actually know from RL or elsewhere and are on my friends list for other reasons or for chatting or what-have-you. Not for constant pats on the backs. And if one of us were to tell each other that we're doing well or the like, at least we know it is coming from a place of actually knowing each other and looking, not the blind "good job"s you mentioned. I prize honesty, not fluffing each other for the sake of fluffing each other.

I'm glad the encouragement does a lot for you, but not everyone feels the same way so I wouldn't waste so much emotional energy being upset for your friend. Maybe it doesn't bother her. If it did, she could very easily seek out friends who are like minded. In my opinion, being on MFP SHOULD be all about ME-ME-ME as we should be doing this for ourselves and no one else.

I personally don't care if anyone posts on my wall. I am not here for atta-girls from others. I don't make friend requests on here but I accept them and occasionally I will comment on a friend's post, but not usually. Most of my MFP friends are IRL friends, too, so my support for them is done live and in person. It really is a great thing when you learn that you don't need outside re-inforcement to believe in yourself or be happy with yourself, especially when it comes to weight loss. I know many maintainers who have found it hard because all that positive attention goes away after a while once you reach goal. If you don't know how to encourage yourself, it can be a long, hard road.

I'm that friend. I don't post "way to go!" or "great job!" or any of that, but I don't send out friend requests and I make it known that I am not all that supportive when I am requested. I'm here to do and be me.

Same here.

I think I'm very supportive on the forums. But I don't want MFP to turn into a game of Farmville, either, where instead of collecting crops all morning long, I spend hours posting generic "WTG" and "You can do this!" messages on everyone's profile.

Sometimes I get messages on my wall where I know the person doesn't know one thing about me. Like "keep at it! you can lose that weight!" when I've been maintaining for a year and a half. I appreciate that someone's trying to be supportive, but something that off-target isn't helping anyone. :laugh:

Great reminder.

And I'd love to see less of the negative/just useless comments. Stop and think before you hit reply: Am I helping or hurting?