All I see is a moster and I dont want that anymore.
Replies
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You know what? Crappy things happen to a lot of people and our self perception gets skewed. You've been telling yourself that you're a monster and you believe it. You have to learn to rearrange your thinking to change your self perception. I know from personal experience that if you keep telling yourself how ugly you are you will NOT be happy when you lose weight. There will always be something that makes you less valuable than other people in your mind. Trust that your boyfriend sees something he likes in you.
From now on you're not allowed to talk bad to or about yourself. You're not allowed to say you're ugly, stupid, a monster or any of the other lies you've told yourself. You will make positive changes for your health and well being but not to make yourself "skinny and/or pretty" to the rest of the world.
Please obey this random person on the internet.
Seriously, you are a very pretty girl and if you want to escape the monsters from your past you have got to quit dragging them along with you. This I also know from personal experience. Hang in there kiddo.
Right, I'm kind of sat here crying because your all being honest and trying to help me. Honestly haven't even had people be this honest with me. Even my doctors a.. b*** to be honest, shes twice my size and keeps telling me I'm obese and it just puts me down when I'm trying.
I'm going to try and think positive from today. Random people on the internet can be awesome at times and thank you ♥ 0 -
It sounds like all advice given to you, you have responded to with, "I cant" in one way or another. I suffer with depression and anxiety and Im not on medication so I understand but it is still not a good enough reason. Fake it til you make it. Do everything you can. If you have 2 legs and no job than you should be spending at least and hour a day walking around. 19 is still so young, you have a lot of years to gain perspective but you dont have to wait. You can choose to get some perspective now rather than wait 10 years and numerous pounds more.0
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Oh, and wanted to add that I have dealt with those negative voices that tell me I am not good enough for years, but I have been working on shutting them off that last few months. I just don't let myself finish the sentence. When I look in the mirror and think "I am so fat! I made myself shoot that thought down and say something positive about myself. I seems silly and it felt so strange doing it, but after a while it became easy and stopping the negativity slowly built up my self esteem...and that is when exercise, eating better, and weight-loss became easier for me.
Can't expect positive change from a negative outlook
Honestly? I can't remember when I didn't even hear these voices and that's saying something. So I don't really know how to block them out, when I'm so use to them.
But I'm going to try and change it. Also well done on changing your thoughts I hope I can do it..0 -
I know it is hard to live with depression, but try to remember that depression is horrible horrible liar. Those voices in your head that tell you that you are not beautiful and sexy are just the depression talking.
Walk lots if you can't go to the gym and don't have weights. Walk around to different businesses to find a job, any job that will get you out of the house where you can munch on food, and so that you can earn some money for a set of weights and mat.
Work on loving yourself as is, right now flaws and all. Work what you have and continue to work toward what you want.
Good luck!
^this0 -
my doctor prescribed me exercise because it actually helps to fight depression due to the endorphins. so exercise anyway because it'll make you stronger and happier, not just help with weightloss ^.^
also run. it'll be hard at first but i find running/weightlifting/yoga helps me feel more capable to take on the world. like "bring it on, b**ch!" xD
do everything in your power to be happier, including weightloss, meditation, exercise, positive thinking...maybe even hypnosis before agreeing to try anti-depressants. medication really should be a last resort because of negative effects it can have/dependency, and its certainly not a quick fix.
eat healthy and recognize diet roadblocks keeping you from your goal.
also, be happy with your hot bf and the time you spend together! don't weigh down happy thoughts with "im not good enough" because thats not what relationships are about.0 -
first off you are NOT A MONSTER so stop with the negative talk because all that will do is cause you to hate yourself, you say your budget is tight but you can still eat healthy on a tight budget it just means that some other things may need to be reduced in you budget. As for exersize it costs nothing to walk a few miles a day and I don't mean casual walking i mean heart pounding walking as fast as you can. Can you list what you eat in a day and what type of workout you do?
I'm pretty sure my diary's open and its full of rubbish in all honesty as I'm currently using the food I have. Although I had a take-away today as I was around my family's. Don't really do workout's either, also been really ill recently so yeah.. :S
LOL well your breakfast was good, try recording your meals the day before and then stick to it the best you can. I just sent you a request and i will see if my diary is open so you can get a rough idea.
Yeah.. I normally have a shake in the morning as it stops me from feeling unwell in all honest and okay I'll look in a second. Thank you for the friend request.0 -
So, I think you are gorgeous. Like, REALLY really. I know it is hard to see it for ourselves sometimes but I feel that way all the time too. I have really hated myself because of my body for a very long time. It is easier to say than do, but start loving yourself. When you love youself you wont want to hurt your body (by eating garbage) you will want to take care of youself (by eating the good stuff). Please dont give up When you accompish this task your confidence will soar. Best of luck 0
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Awww babygirl your breaking my heart consider yourself hugged.:flowerforyou: Brave of you to put a voice to your feelings. Your a beautiful girl with your whole wonderful life ahead of you. so that said as me as your friend and I can take a look at your dairy and see what your eating , and what kind of workouts are you doing weights ? cardio?
I've seriously been munching, due to my depression and light exercise. I can afford GYM, I have that 30DayShred DVD. But no Yoga Mat or dumbell's. So don't know how I can do it? I have £15 to spent on food for two weeks. Thats the hardest. Been trying to get a job since August 2012 and cant. I think it's due to my weight
Thank's though, I think my Diary's Public :S ♥
You don't need a yoga mat. Use a rug. Dumbells? Use canned goods. You can do this!!!! Hang in there. We are all here for you!!!0 -
Hi Sammie
First things first, you are unique we all are.
Also you seem to have a good guy beside you and the shape he is in I hope he can give you the support you require to get to your targets.
Your comment about "Honestly.. I feel like I can't win and lose 135 lbs" yes you can do this if you really want to do it. I was asked at the gym yesterday which is a year and 3 days since I started back there, could I have imagined a year ago where I am now, the simple answer to that is no way would I have thought I would be this far.
Just start slowly, make small changes, as your situation changes you can add other things into your life.
Good luck with your plans and if you would like an extra friend feel free to add me.
Andy
Thank's, hes a great guy and is offering loads of advice and tips.
Wow! Just saw your ticker. Well done on your weight lost and thank you ♥ 0 -
My suggestion: stop making excuses. Sometimes you just need a kick in the *kitten* in order to do something. You've got to find it or nothing anyone else will say will help you do what you have to do.0
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NO, my sweetie, don't give up!
When my daughter feels about herself the way you are feeling about yourself, I tell her she is seeing herself through a distorted lens.
You are on my friends list, so I've come to know you a bit, and you are just a dear, sweet person, and beautiful outwardly as well.
I don't know what happened exactly to make you believe that you are not, but it must have been pretty bad, and affected you pretty deeply.
If you can get counseling, I hope you will. Explore antidepressents with your doctor - they can be wonderfully helpful when prescribed correctly.
In the meantime, try to treat yourself as you seem to treat everyone around you - with sweetness and encouragement.
And as I tell my daughter, from the Desiderata:
"You are a child of the Universe, no less than the moon or the stars; you have a right to be here."
Lastly, no doubt some of the trolls and cynics and arseholes on here will say some harsh things about your post. Please don't believe them.0 -
So... Somehow I don't think your question is really, "should I give up". Are you really asking how to start? Where to go now?
You don't need a gym to work out. Go for walks, if you live in a safe area. You've said you have the 30 Day Shred DVD, so start that. You don't have to have a mat, for sure, and you can use other things in place of dumbbells while you're just starting out (cans of food, water bottles, etc). You can also check Freecycle for used weights. Google online workouts to do at home. Just do jumping jacks/pushups/squats, etc, in front of the TV.
For those of us with depression, often the hardest thing, and the most worthwhile thing, is just starting. Just doing SOMETHING that makes you feel like you're moving in the right direction. Unfortunately, while we here can give you ideas and support, no one can motivate you but you. Just like no one can do the work but you.
Looking toward losing 100lbs is daunting. So today, just get up, and get started. Then, keep doing that, everyday. There are plenty of people who have accomplished this. They don't have secrets or miracle pills. Just hard, hard work. And I'm sure you know how to work hard.
PS in case your question is really, "am I worth it?"... the answer is YES. Unequivocally, yes.
Well it's currently 12.14am here in London and I can't sleep. So once I'm up, I'm going to go on an hour long walk and make tomorrow my kick-start into losing weight.
Thanks for your advice, going to check freecyle and other sites! ♥ 0 -
You ARE Beautiful. I do not see anyone over 200 in your pics. Stay strong you can do this.
Everybody say's that, when I told my boyfriend how much I weighed he said it was unreal.. but yet he can lift me up :huh:0 -
Honestly, I didnt read all of the replies so sorry if I'm repeating
You're adorable, I love your eyes.
So definately walk everywhere, a much as you can.
You can't get to a gym, you said you had 30 day shred but not mat or weights, if you have a carpet, you don't need the mat, you don't need weights. Do the first round just body weight or if it's too easy use soup cans.
nerdfitness.com has some free body weight circuits and how to make a playground your gym0 -
It sounds like all advice given to you, you have responded to with, "I cant" in one way or another. I suffer with depression and anxiety and Im not on medication so I understand but it is still not a good enough reason. Fake it til you make it. Do everything you can. If you have 2 legs and no job than you should be spending at least and hour a day walking around. 19 is still so young, you have a lot of years to gain perspective but you dont have to wait. You can choose to get some perspective now rather than wait 10 years and numerous pounds more.
True 0 -
my doctor prescribed me exercise because it actually helps to fight depression due to the endorphins. so exercise anyway because it'll make you stronger and happier, not just help with weightloss ^.^
also run. it'll be hard at first but i find running/weightlifting/yoga helps me feel more capable to take on the world. like "bring it on, b**ch!" xD
do everything in your power to be happier, including weightloss, meditation, exercise, positive thinking...maybe even hypnosis before agreeing to try anti-depressants. medication really should be a last resort because of negative effects it can have/dependency, and its certainly not a quick fix.
eat healthy and recognize diet roadblocks keeping you from your goal.
also, be happy with your hot bf and the time you spend together! don't weigh down happy thoughts with "im not good enough" because thats not what relationships are about.
Yeah, I hope it does make me happier and yoga? Whats that like if you don't mind me asking.
Also, I'm going to try and think positive from now on, so don't worry! 0 -
(deleted..)0
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So, I think you are gorgeous. Like, REALLY really. I know it is hard to see it for ourselves sometimes but I feel that way all the time too. I have really hated myself because of my body for a very long time. It is easier to say than do, but start loving yourself. When you love youself you wont want to hurt your body (by eating garbage) you will want to take care of youself (by eating the good stuff). Please dont give up When you accompish this task your confidence will soar. Best of luck
Thank's, everybody say's they love my eyes and I hope I can come to love my body eventually! ♥0 -
Awww babygirl your breaking my heart consider yourself hugged.:flowerforyou: Brave of you to put a voice to your feelings. Your a beautiful girl with your whole wonderful life ahead of you. so that said as me as your friend and I can take a look at your dairy and see what your eating , and what kind of workouts are you doing weights ? cardio?
I've seriously been munching, due to my depression and light exercise. I can afford GYM, I have that 30DayShred DVD. But no Yoga Mat or dumbell's. So don't know how I can do it? I have £15 to spent on food for two weeks. Thats the hardest. Been trying to get a job since August 2012 and cant. I think it's due to my weight
Thank's though, I think my Diary's Public :S ♥
You don't need a yoga mat. Use a rug. Dumbells? Use canned goods. You can do this!!!! Hang in there. We are all here for you!!!
I have a rug.. just found it in my wardrobe and I got come canned food. Guess I'll start today (later after I've slept for a couple of hours) and thank you. ♥0 -
NO, my sweetie, don't give up!
When my daughter feels about herself the way you are feeling about yourself, I tell her she is seeing herself through a distorted lens.
You are on my friends list, so I've come to know you a bit, and you are just a dear, sweet person, and beautiful outwardly as well.
I don't know what happened exactly to make you believe that you are not, but it must have been pretty bad, and affected you pretty deeply.
If you can get counseling, I hope you will. Explore antidepressents with your doctor - they can be wonderfully helpful when prescribed correctly.
In the meantime, try to treat yourself as you seem to treat everyone around you - with sweetness and encouragement.
And as I tell my daughter, from the Desiderata:
"You are a child of the Universe, no less than the moon or the stars; you have a right to be here."
Lastly, no doubt some of the trolls and cynics and arseholes on here will say some harsh things about your post. Please don't believe them.
Yeah, kind of got some mean PM's. But I know not everybody's like that. Thank you though.. may get counselling again as I'm sat here thinking about my past too much!
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Anything is possible...
If you want to make a change in your life, you can do it. Just start by making ONE healthy choice that supports your desired result and focus on that. When you get that one down, and it is habit, add another. Eventually you will reach your goal.
I have been heavy all my life. In the 90's I found a program that clicked, and I lost over 100 lbs and reached a weight around 180. Then my Dad Died, and I returned to the "stress eating" approach to dealing with the loss. I gained that weight back, and more. I tried several "diets" and would lose some, but then hit a wall and stop.
I had given up, and started to live my life in a very sad and lonely way. There was no way I was going to try again. I was tired of trying, tired of struggling. AND, the weight gave me something to blame for everything that went "wrong" in my life. If I did not get the Promotion, it was cause the Boss did not like fat people. If someone did not like me, it was because they do not like fat people.
I FINALLY came to realize that my weight was my reason for where I was and was my excuse for everything that was wrong. I stopped blaming it, and as I started to see the impact of carrying around over 400 lbs on my body, I decided to try ONE more time. I found a coach to help me and we started on the journey together.
I lost most of the weight that I needed to lose, and have added so many new healthy habits that I know I will reach my ultimate goal... That is why I am here, NOT to lose the weight, but as a place to monitor and be accountable for my food, and to encourage and modivate others.
As I tell my people that I coach, write down WHY you want to get healthy, what will you be able to do when you get to that point that you can not do now.
It is not hard, just start with ONE healthy choice and make it a habit.
Good Luck, and remember... YOU CAN DO THIS!0 -
My suggestion: stop making excuses. Sometimes you just need a kick in the *kitten* in order to do something. You've got to find it or nothing anyone else will say will help you do what you have to do.
^ This. The first step is always the hardest but make that first step! Take that leap! Don't sit at home, don't wait, or hesitate!
Do what you have to do.0 -
Honestly, I didnt read all of the replies so sorry if I'm repeating
You're adorable, I love your eyes.
So definately walk everywhere, a much as you can.
You can't get to a gym, you said you had 30 day shred but not mat or weights, if you have a carpet, you don't need the mat, you don't need weights. Do the first round just body weight or if it's too easy use soup cans.
nerdfitness.com has some free body weight circuits and how to make a playground your gym
Thank's and I'm going to start taking up walking and do 30DS from tomorrow. Going to look at that site too! Thank you ♥♥ 0 -
Drink as much water as you can tollerate and make it a point to walk every day as a matter of fact a little job you can get is dog walking, there are always people looking to pay people to walk their dogs and when you are getting payed to do it then you have to do it. I am a stay at home mom ( hubby works) and i have a little job walking the neighbores dog, One of my dogs d;s not like him so i have to go two seperate times.0
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Anything is possible...
If you want to make a change in your life, you can do it. Just start by making ONE healthy choice that supports your desired result and focus on that. When you get that one down, and it is habit, add another. Eventually you will reach your goal.
I have been heavy all my life. In the 90's I found a program that clicked, and I lost over 100 lbs and reached a weight around 180. Then my Dad Died, and I returned to the "stress eating" approach to dealing with the loss. I gained that weight back, and more. I tried several "diets" and would lose some, but then hit a wall and stop.
I had given up, and started to live my life in a very sad and lonely way. There was no way I was going to try again. I was tired of trying, tired of struggling. AND, the weight gave me something to blame for everything that went "wrong" in my life. If I did not get the Promotion, it was cause the Boss did not like fat people. If someone did not like me, it was because they do not like fat people.
I FINALLY came to realize that my weight was my reason for where I was and was my excuse for everything that was wrong. I stopped blaming it, and as I started to see the impact of carrying around over 400 lbs on my body, I decided to try ONE more time. I found a coach to help me and we started on the journey together.
I lost most of the weight that I needed to lose, and have added so many new healthy habits that I know I will reach my ultimate goal... That is why I am here, NOT to lose the weight, but as a place to monitor and be accountable for my food, and to encourage and modivate others.
As I tell my people that I coach, write down WHY you want to get healthy, what will you be able to do when you get to that point that you can not do now.
It is not hard, just start with ONE healthy choice and make it a habit.
Good Luck, and remember... YOU CAN DO THIS!
Thank you.. you've really hit home. I'm using my weight an excuse when really its me mentally. I'm sorry about your dad though and congratulations on your weight lost. Also thank you for replying. I guess one habit I've gotten already is logging/tracking what I eat.0 -
Honestly, I didnt read all of the replies so sorry if I'm repeating
You're adorable, I love your eyes.
So definately walk everywhere, a much as you can.
You can't get to a gym, you said you had 30 day shred but not mat or weights, if you have a carpet, you don't need the mat, you don't need weights. Do the first round just body weight or if it's too easy use soup cans.
nerdfitness.com has some free body weight circuits and how to make a playground your gym
You can look on sites like kijiji for used weights and workout stuff and ask you man to help you workout.
Thank's and I'm going to start taking up walking and do 30DS from tomorrow. Going to look at that site too! Thank you ♥♥0 -
My suggestion: stop making excuses. Sometimes you just need a kick in the *kitten* in order to do something. You've got to find it or nothing anyone else will say will help you do what you have to do.
^ This. The first step is always the hardest but make that first step! Take that leap! Don't sit at home, don't wait, or hesitate!
Do what you have to do.
I agree.. I've been lazy in all honesty ._.0 -
Drink as much water as you can tollerate and make it a point to walk every day as a matter of fact a little job you can get is dog walking, there are always people looking to pay people to walk their dogs and when you are getting payed to do it then you have to do it. I am a stay at home mom ( hubby works) and i have a little job walking the neighbores dog, One of my dogs d;s not like him so i have to go two seperate times.
Haha, now this will be a problem. I got a weak bladder and tend to drink minimal as I'm scared to erm.. yeah have a little accident. My mum has two dogs that I'll be able to walk for her!
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You've had it pretty hard in your life, and now you're dealing with depression and having no money...that'd get anyone down. Trust me. I know. You have a lot going for you, though. You're young and pretty. You gotta do what you can with what you have. Find ways to stretch your food budget, and make good choices with the funds you do have. Be positive when you go into your job interviews. Your potential employers are probably not judging you based on your weight. I know this because I'm bigger than you, and I've been on job interviews. I never felt they cared how much I weighed. They just want to know you can do the job.
Anyway, no, never give up. It's not really an option anyway, is it?0 -
Well, first of all I think you look good in the first picture. But don't give up, we all have challenges with this but YOU CAN DO IT.0
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